Big Strong Bear (7 page)

Hades had fought like a lion for her, as he always had, and he didn’t even have to be near her to do it.

Would he ever stop protecting her?

She doubted it. Whether she deserved it or not.

He walked over to her and curled around her, covering her nakedness with his fur. She stroked him absentmindedly, wondering how he could be so different from when she’d last seen him.

“Your fur,” she murmured. “It’s black.”

“I know,” he said. “It changed after the fire. I think I exhausted my healing capacities.”

“It’s beautiful,” she said. “Thanks for coming for me. I thought… I don’t know. I thought you’d be too far away. Why the hell were those men in the woods?”

He snorted angrily. “I don’t know. The first thing I intend to do when we get back is call Zeus and Ares and see what the hell we’ve gotten ourselves into.” He tightened around her. “One thing I do know… if they thought we’d be in any danger, they wouldn’t have had us come here. They aren’t thoughtless like that.”

“I know,” she said. “I met them. They seem like nice people.”

He laughed. “Nice. Not sure that’s the word I’d use, but fine.”

She laughed with him, wrapping her arms around one warm, comforting paw. “I’m sorry I ran. It was stupid.”

“I’m sorry I chased you off,” he said. “I know I’m pushing you. I just don’t understand what’s hurting you. I wish you’d tell me so I could fix it, but I’m not going to force it.”

“I appreciate that,” she said. “It’s been a rough couple years for me. I can’t say I’m handling everything the best, but I’m trying.”

“I know,” he said. “Should we go inside?”

She nodded, and he shifted and she felt warm, smooth human muscle where rough, shaggy bear fur had once been. Then she was swooped up in his arms, cradled against him. It felt amazing. She’d forgotten how light and petite she felt when he carried her. How safe.

She hadn’t run so he would have to save her. But she was glad he cared enough to do so when it was needed.

“I thought you’d just left me out here,” she said.

“Naw, I got on the roof right after you left. I knew you needed space, but I don’t feel safe unless I’ve got you in my sights.”

“That’s kind of dark,” she said.

He shrugged. “Maybe. But I’ll be dark as midnight if that’s what it takes to protect you. Besides, isn’t it comforting to know I can defend you even from a couple hundred yards away?”

She shook her head with a rueful laugh. “Scary, yes. Comforting? I’m not sure. I’m just glad you were there for me. Like always.”

“Of course,” he said sternly. “But for now, let’s not run off again, okay? My bear nearly tore himself apart dropping that rifle to cover the distance.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re fine. That’s all that matters. We can work through the rest.”

She laid her head against his chest. He was right. They were both fine. Everything else could be worked out.

H
ades called
Zeus and got their things together while Cassie cleaned up and got dressed. They couldn’t stay at the mountain cabin anymore; that was for sure.

When Hades hung up, he gestured for her to join him as he hauled their stuff toward the front door.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Zeus’s house,” he said.

“Why not Ares’s place?” she asked.

Hades scratched his head. “Well, for one, it’s kind of a weird-looking fortress. For two, he has a kid there. And for three, the motorcycle gang apparently knows where he lives, since he was involved before.”

“Oh,” she said, tense. “But they don’t know where Zeus lives?”

“No. Presumably not, since he didn’t live here back when this happened,” Hades said, opening the door for her. He led the way out to the Viper and helped her in before putting their things in the trunk. Then he went inside and brought out a bag filled with weapons he might need.

After what just happened in the forest, the soldier in him was in full lookout mode.

They’d tried to take his mate. Tried to make her shift back. Wanted to take her for themselves.

It made him burn with a righteous anger that felt like it would tear him apart at the seams. But he needed to stay calm. Needed to plan. These men were more dangerous than the average loan shark, though a part of him couldn’t help wondering if everything was connected in some way. If that was why his intuition kept going off.

Cassie was being silent, and he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. Right now he just had to focus on getting them safely to Zeus’s.

“Thank you again,” she said.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied.

They turned onto a mountain road and headed down toward the town. But just as they were about to enter, they cut right onto a dirt path and slowed as they followed it as it twisted off the beaten path and up toward a beautiful log mansion at the base of a hill.

Back at Zeus’s house. It was gorgeous. Just the type of place he could see Cassie being at home in one day. After he paid off the loan sharks and dealt with the motorcycle gang and figured out what she was pissed about.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. He’d been through some tough things in his life, but he hadn’t expected winning his mate over to be one of them. Things had gone well for them ever since they were younger.

She’d been busy with family while he’d been busy with the army, but they’d planned to grow old together.

And now everything just seemed to be falling apart. He’d told her everything would be okay because they were okay. But was that true?

She was still silent, and he could sense from the intense look on her face that she was deep in thought. She seemed nervous, guilty, and he couldn’t help butting in.

“If you’re getting ideas about not letting me help, just stop.”

She threw up her hands. “I just can’t seem to stop causing trouble for you.”

“You didn’t cause that trouble,” he said. “They were just driving through town.” But deep down, an uncomfortable feeling told him there might be more to it than that. When she was safely settled at Zeus’s place, he could do some looking into it on his computer. See if anyone had put out feelers in the underground to look for her.

“When I came to you, I never knew it would get this complicated,” she said.

He shrugged. “Life’s that way. You just gotta decide which complications you can handle.” He attempted a rakish wink but decided it probably looked more tired. “I’m okay with your complications if you’re okay with mine.”

She gave him a weak smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Okay, so underneath that, despite his display of badass-ery, she was still mad at him.

Damn.

Well, they were going to have to sort this out. But he could let her cool off for a bit while he figured things out. All the better if she had time to miss him while he went to “talk” to the people she owed money.

They heard a door close and saw Zeus walking out toward them, arms folded, a look of concentration on his stern, serious face.

Hades opened her door and helped her out, still talking with Zeus as he got their stuff and walked to the door.

Carly was waiting to welcome them in. As he walked into their well-furnished, warm home, Hades couldn’t help feeling a little jealousy.

Zeus had found his mate much later than Hades, yet things for them seemed to go smoothly. Well, aside from her being targeted by a motorcycle gang and then kidnapped. Hades had been more than happy to help set that to rights.

He eyed Cassie, thinking about the fact that both Zeus’s and Ares’s mates had been kidnapped. A dark worry twisted inside him at the thought of that happening to her. But no, he’d prevent it.

Cassie gave Carly a hug and then asked for a place to lie down. He raised an eyebrow at her but let her go, even though he didn’t really want to be apart from her.

His bear was still fuming, still roaring and charging inside him with an impotent rage. He wanted to get rid of everything and everyone threatening her, and he wanted to do it NOW.

“Calm down, brother,” Zeus said in a low voice, ushering him into his office to talk. He opened a decanter and poured Hades a drink, which he took gratefully.

Alcohol didn’t really affect him as a rather huge shifter, but the warmth of the brandy was still a welcome distraction from the cold in his heart. The fear that seized him when he thought there was a chance of losing her.

It didn’t matter that he was one of the most dangerous men in the world. When it came to protecting his mate, no amount of power was enough to feel totally secure.

“It’s okay, dude,” Zeus said, sinking in a leather chair behind his desk, looking every bit the businessman he was despite his rugged appearance. “She’s fine. You’re fine. We’ll figure this out.”

“Do you think it has to do with her?” Hades asked, folding his arms and settling in the chair across from Zeus, which didn’t feel big enough at the moment. “It seems too much of a coincidence.”

“I think you should probably go talk to those loan sharks,” Zeus said. “See if you can figure anything out.”

Hades nodded. “What I don’t get is if they want the loan paid off, why send a gang here?”

Zeus shrugged. “That I don’t know. I also don’t know why an estranged brother would pick now to suddenly want to enact vengeance. Still, we ran them off before and we’ll run them off again. But the whole situation stinks of conspiracy.”

“I agree,” Hades said. “It goes without saying that you’ll keep her safe while I’m gone, right?”

Zeus nodded slowly. “Of course. With my life.”

Hades sighed. “Good.” He stood. “Then I’m taking off.”

“You’ve gotta be exhausted,” Zeus said.

“I am. But the sooner I get this part over with, the sooner we know more of what we’re dealing with. And the sooner we find out if this really isn’t about the money after all.”

“Are you going to say good-bye?” Zeus asked.

“Yeah,” Hades said.

Zeus grinned, just a small one, and stood to leave the office with Hades. “All right. I’m going outside with Carly to explain things. And to give you two a moment alone.”

“Be careful,” Hades said.

“I’m not worried,” Zeus said. “After what you did to them, I’m sure they need time to regroup.” He cracked his knuckles. “And pity the fools when they do come back a second time.”

Hades’s lips spread in a dark grin. “Amen.”

Zeus waved a hand. “Now go see your mate.”

“I’m going.”

Zeus walked down the hall into the living room to talk to Carly, and a moment later, the front door opened and closed. Hades exhaled and leaned against the wall, wondering how Cassie would react to him leaving.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out.

She peeked out from the bedroom, her blue eyes wide with worry. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

He nodded, walking slowly toward her. As he got closer, he felt keenly how much taller he was. How vulnerable she was compared to him. He didn’t want to leave her. But perhaps they both needed a moment apart.

“I wish you weren’t going.”

“You’ll be safe here,” he said, grabbing a lock of her hair. “And I’ll be back quick.”

She sank her cheek into his hand, and he savored the warm softness of her skin. It made him think of last night, of the things they’d shared. Made him want to do it all again.

“If I wanted to make love to you, would you let me?” he asked.

She raised her eyes to his, a gentle heat glowing in the blue depths. “What do you think?”

He tilted his head and walked forward, backing her into the bedroom behind them. He kept walking until her legs hit the bed and she sat down on it, eyes wide and still watching him.

He folded his arms and looked down. “I don’t know. I know last time I somehow ruined things.”

She put a hand up and touched his arm, and he suppressed a small shudder. “I always want you. I think that’s a given. But yeah, things are complicated now.”

“Just tell me what’s wrong,” he said. “Tell me so there’s nothing between us when I leave.”

“I don’t know,” she said, writhing slightly as his hand caressed her cheek.

“I’ve never been with anyone else, Cassie. I swear it. I don’t know why you’d think that, but I haven’t.”

She closed her eyes slowly, and when she opened them, the depth of the blue there took his breath away. His mate, starting to trust him. Starting to open up to him again. “I want to believe you.”

“Believe me,” he said, pushing her back on the bed.

“Wait,” she said. “This isn’t our place.”

“Zeus is outside and the door is closed. And they couldn’t hear anyway.”

“I can’t… I mean…”

He cut her off with a kiss to the base of her neck that made her issue a small sigh.

“Stop that,” she said. “You’re making it hard to think.”

“Then stop thinking,” he said. “Thinking is overrated at times like this. Maybe you just need to feel.”

She grumbled something but then sighed as his hand found her nipple.

“I’ve never touched anyone like this,” he said, tweaking lightly as she squirmed beneath him. He pulled off her shirt, exposing her to him in her bra, the gorgeous swells of her breasts bared to his hungry eyes.

He ran his hands over her soft waist, hooking his fingers into her pants as he pulled them down and over her gorgeous ass. He wanted to give her something to remember while he was gone. Something to think about.

H
e bent forward
and kissed her belly button, running his tongue along the inside. “I don’t know how to do this for anyone but you,” he said. “It’s always been you, Cassie.”

His mouth trailed down, gently placing kisses along the lacy edge of her panty line before he pulled them down with his teeth. She gasped as he grasped them with his hands to pull them the rest of the way down her legs, grazing her skin gently all the way to her toes.

Then his mouth found her softness, and she arched against him with a sharp cry. He savored the noise as he licked hungrily, watching each move, each tremor. She was his. She felt more his every moment they spent together.

He was no longer just seeing her as the Cassie he’d known and grown up with. A teenage sweetheart. She was a woman, with complications and fears and loss in her past.

And he wanted to love and protect her forever.

“Trust me, Cass,” he said. “You’re the only woman I want to do this with.” He paused and looked up at her, as he could sense her taut body fully poised on the edge of a powerful orgasm. “Say you believe me.”

“I believe you,” she gasped out, twisting her hands in the sheets.

“Say you’ll only belong to me,” he said, swirling his tongue over her slowly, taking her right to the very threshold.

“Only you,” she choked out.

And he rewarded her by sucking down, hard, pulling her orgasm from her as she arched into the mattress and screamed out his name in a muffled voice, trying to be quiet. But it was his name. Over and over as the pleasure waved through her. Just as she was quivering in the aftermath, he started again, licking more aggressively this time.

“So hot,” he said. “I love when you’re wet.”

“Stop,” she said, flushing down at him. “So embarrassing.”

“I like when you’re embarrassed,” he said wickedly. “I like when you’re so aroused, so pleased that you don’t know what to do.” His finger moved inside her, teasing, testing. “I love how pink you get, how flushed. I love each little protest, even as you’re loving it.”

“Shh,” she said, but she wriggled closer to his hand, to his mouth as he continued to lovingly kiss her. He was determined to give her everything possible, wring every drop of pleasure out of her so all she could think of when she thought of him was how wet he made her.

And how he was the only one who could do it.

He thrust two fingers inside her. “This is the only place I want to be,” he said, stroking up and forward, making her gasp and arch. “This is the only pussy I want.”

She arched hard as his tongue swept over her again and his fingers sped their motions.

“Dammit,” he said as he felt emotion overwhelm him as she sped toward another orgasm. He held back as he felt her go over the edge, but he came around her, holding her with both arms as her nails scored his chest and she muffled her screams of pleasure against his neck.

“I love you,” she said. “Why do I have to love you?”

The way she said it was painful, but at least he knew she did. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m just glad you do.” He didn’t say the words back to her, though.

Until he knew she’d forgiven him, until he knew things would be okay between them, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. It hurt bad enough when she got upset after sex. If him saying something about loving her set her off, he didn’t know how he’d deal with it.

But he felt it, warm, powerful love for her pulsing through him as he held her for long minutes of afterglow, grateful for every second of it.

When she was calm, listless in his arms, he sighed and gently pulled back.

“Take a nap,” he said, urging her under the sheets. “When you’re up, maybe I’ll be back.”

“That fast?” she asked.

“I’m flying,” he said. “But no, probably not that fast. Will you miss me?”

She blinked. “Obviously.” A playful grin lit her face. “But just who will snipe people for me and attack other bears while you’re gone?”

He grumbled. “I suppose Zeus will, but I don’t like it. So I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded, flushed with pleasure, her curvy body luscious and relaxed in front of him.

But he wouldn’t go further, not for now. He wouldn’t take anything from her until things were clearer. At least she seemed to believe it was only them.

Now if only he could get her to address why she ever thought otherwise.

But first, he had some loan sharks to deal with. He heard Carly and Zeus walking back into the house and sent Cassie one last glance. She gave him a soft, tender look, and a part of him thrilled at the fact that he was maybe winning her over.

Maybe.

“I’ll be back after I deal with this,” he said. “And, Cassie?”

“Yes?”

“I’m thinking forever. If you aren’t, then by the time I’m back, I want to know why. And I want to talk about it.”

She nodded slowly. “I’ll try.”

“I don’t want any more of this mystery feeling between us. Okay?”

She nodded again, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Okay.”

“I’d give the world for you, but I can’t come closer if you don’t trust me.”

“I know. I just…” She took a deep breath and looked out the window, and Hades’s heart tightened in anticipation.

What was she going to say?

“The woman,” she choked out as tears sprang to her eyes. “Gosh darn it, why do I always get like this? I mean, it’s just something else, seeing someone with your mate when they’ve rejected you.”

His heart went cold. He had no idea what she meant, but his defense mechanisms that had kept him going throughout the war were activating. “I seriously have no idea what you’re talking bout.”

“She was tall. Blond. Gorgeous. Short hair, fit. Everything that would match with you, unlike me.”

He wracked his brain. What the actual hell? “When did you see her?”

“After I went away. After I said I wouldn’t come back.”

He went quiet. There was only one possible answer. “You cannot be talking about Hera.”

She blinked. “Who?”

“Hera. She…” He felt anger run through him as he ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room. “Dammit, I don’t have time to address all of this. What were you doing, stalking me?”

“What were you doing with another woman?”

“Did you say you were done with me?” he asked, exasperated.

“Obviously you weren’t done with me, since you came back later,” she spat back at him.

He felt angry at himself and frustrated with the situation. It was all so obvious now, but why hadn’t he thought of it before?

“She stayed at your house. For two weeks, at least. You hugged her. And you didn’t come back to me until she was gone.”

Rage built inside him and exploded. Why hadn’t she just asked him before? Why hadn’t she given him a chance to explain? Was this why they had suffered for months? For nothing?

“She came to check on me,” he burst out, trying to contain himself. “She’s a friend from my squad, and when I refused to let anyone in my house, Ares and Zeus called her for backup.”

Cassie’s face was tight and impassive. On a deeper level, he knew it made sense. No bear would cope well with anyone near their mate, and she’d already had a hard time with him pushing her away.

But dammit, he’d been having a hard time as well, and instead of trying to understand him, she just assumed the worst.

“I can’t believe you thought that of me,” he said. “I thought you trusted me.”

“You held her.”

“She hugged
me
.”

She was going paler, but still not relenting. Maybe she couldn’t accept just how messed up this was if she was wrong.

But dammit, after years of loyalty, how could she just assume that about him?

“I’ve never touched another woman sexually. Of course I’ve been around them. But I’ve never touched them.”

Her eyes watered and she swiped at them. He wanted to go to her, comfort her, but he just couldn’t at this moment. Not when he felt like this. “Then why did you let her in? Why her and not me?”

“Because I didn’t care,” he exploded. “I didn’t care if she saw my scars or how messed up I was or that I was burnt half to hell.” He backed up to the door and folded his arms, trying to stay calm. “But your opinion was everything. You kept knocking, always wanting to see me. You didn’t care if I was ready. You didn’t think about what I’d lost.”

“It was all I was thinking about,” she cried. “You’re my mate. I wanted to be with you. Not just when you were better, but when you were struggling.” She hung her head. “You’re not the only one that feels possessive, Hades. I’m possessive of everything about you. Obviously, I’ve made a mistake, but you did too. By letting that woman in for so long.”

“She just kicked my ass into gear and told me the scars were never going to heal and I should get back out there and go after you. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I could have. But for all the good that did, she might as well have not bothered.” His eyes burned. “Obviously, you trust me to pleasure you and protect you, but that’s as far as it goes.”

“This is why I didn’t want to talk about this,” she said, wrapping her hands around her knees. “There’s no way anyone wins here. Fine, so you didn’t cheat, if I believe you. But that’s how it looks, and maybe you should think about how you would feel in the same situation before you get all righteously angry on me.”

Her blue eyes blazed at him, and he blazed right back. “Or maybe you should think about whether you even should have come for help from a man you apparently think so little of,” he snarled.

She flinched but didn’t say anything. Instead, she folded her arms and looked away. “Don’t you have a plane to catch?”

“Damn straight,” he growled. “As soon as possible.” Then he left her room and shut the door behind him.

He slung his bag over his shoulder as he walked outside.

He ignored Zeus and Carly as he walked out of the house toward his car.

He made himself focus on the weapons he was going to grab when he got back to his house, right before he would go confront the assholes who’d threatened Carly. End this and get her out of here.

Because given what she thought of him, she’d obviously never come to him hoping to rekindle what they had. A little part of him thought she did.

But she thought he’d cheated.

He’d never even thought to address the Hera thing. Not only because it was ridiculous, but because Carly had said she wouldn’t even be around. In another mood, he’d be pleased to know she stalked him.

But right now, it just stung that his mate thought so little of him when he’d always though everything of her.

Still, he’d take care of shit and then she could go back to her world if she wanted to. Obviously, she would. She’d never wanted a second chance after all. He’d wanted it. He’d pushed. He’d given her pleasure, hoping to soothe over any unknown wounds.

But knowing what she’d thought all along, it was laughable to think it was ever going anywhere.

He ignored Zeus’s wave and revved his Viper.

Time to get shit done.

A
s soon as
Hades was gone, Cassie felt awful. Once again, he’d been wonderful to her, and it ended badly.

She’d finally found the courage to tell him what had been bothering her, but instead of apologizing, he’d simply been angry.

Well, all she could say was that if he’d seen a male bear hanging out at her house while she wasn’t letting him inside, he’d have reacted much worse.

Matter of fact, that male bear probably would have been dead.

Still, that didn’t make anything better. Her skin was still warm from his touch. She was alive because he’d been there to save her, and she’d let him leave angry, due to her own stupid pride.

She knew he’d been through a lot, but she had too. Being alone all those years while he was off doing goodness knew what. Losing her dad and the last of her family.

Working her business and dealing with her loan.

Looking over her life, she saw a pattern. She wasn’t good at dealing with conflict or asking for help. When things went wrong, she tended to hold it all inside.

Of course, Hades was hurt now, knowing she could think that of him. Perhaps deep inside, a part of her knew it wasn’t possible. Perhaps that had been the part of her that urged her to go back to him for help. Maybe she’d wanted an excuse to start things up again, to find a way to forgive and heal the rift.

But she’d done a shitty job of it.

She had no doubt he’d deal easily with the loan sharks in their hometown. And then he’d be back and she’d have to figure out what to say to him. She frankly had no idea.

She thumped the pillow and lay back, listening to the gentle laughter between Carly and Zeus. They were mates, even though they were human and bear, and they seemed to have everything together in a way she and Hades didn’t.

It wasn’t fair.

Yet she didn’t know what they’d gone through to get to this point, so she couldn’t say for sure it wasn’t fair. It was never a good idea to compare the best parts of someone else’s life to the worst of yours.

So where to go from here? She had no real reason to be mad at him anymore, though as righteous indignation faded, shame took its place. Shame that she’d wasted their time over her own jealous insecurity.

But she couldn’t do anything about that. She could only go from here. She got out of bed and paced the room. When he came back, everything would be different.

He was justifiably hurt, and she’d do everything she could to show him she really did want him. She’d even wanted him when she thought the worst. She’d never been able to stop wanting him, and now that there was no reason to hate him, it was like a dam was breaking and her desire for him was bursting out, almost too strong to contain.

She paced her room and started to plan, formulating exactly what she wanted to do to make things right when he got back.

She just wanted to move past it all and be with him like they had been before. And when he returned, her loan sharks dealt with, there was no reason they couldn’t go forward from here.

If she could forgive him for what she thought was cheating, then she just hoped he could forgive her for thinking he’d done it.