Biker Faith (7 page)

Chapter Seven

Bonnie...

Sparky left a few hours ago on club business and I have loved the peace on my own. After refolding my new clothes again, I cherish everything I bought yesterday. It seems silly to be this happy but this is the first time I’ve been to buy not only items I needed but items I wanted. Books that will never be ripped from my hands and tore in half, cosmetics that will never be destroyed because they attract attention from other men. Tommy never approved, he preferred me with as little self-esteem as possible. An hour ago I curled up on Sparky’s small couch and began reading one of my favourite books. I was barely into the first chapter when I began daydreaming of what it will be like when I leave here and find myself my own place. I imagined a small apartment, nothing too big or fancy, just somewhere I can call my own. After my spending yesterday, I still have a few thousand dollars left to start with and with caution, I’m going to make every dollar count for something.

Whilst
choosing curtains for my imaginary new place, Sparky comes through the door A lot of the tension he wore this morning has faded and makes him more attractive. I don’t know why but I find myself blushing once again as I remember being woke this morning in the exact same position as yesterday. Two days in a row we have woke up in each other’s embrace and each morning neither of us have complained about it.

He comes and sits beside me. T
echnically he sits at the other end of the couch but as it’s small he ends up beside me. He looks at the book for a moment before looking to me.

“You must have got some good shit yesterday, I can hardly see your bruises through it
,” he states.

On the inside I am happy because it means I didn’t waste extra money on the more expensive concealer.

I smile at him, not knowing what to say to that and return to my book.

“How are you feeling today?
” he probes.

“A lot better
thanks, my ribs hardly hurt now. I tried telling your doc they were nearly healed, it was mainly the exhaustion that was killing me,” I say, truthfully.

All the rest I’ve had in the last few days here has been the biggest remedy for me.

“And you still won’t tell me who hurt you?”  he asks.

“Why do you want to know? You going to fight my battles for me
?” I ask, beginning to get annoyed he keeps asking me this.

Nobo
dy apart from Alannah trusts me so why is it so important to them to know who hurt me? I can’t see them running off to save me like they did Alannah.

He looks away and doesn
’t answer. With the lack of faith they have in me, I knew I shouldn’t ask my next question but do anyway.

“I suppose you were talking about me?” I ask
. His head snaps back to me.

“Club business
,” is all he says.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not here for my brother, I swear
,” I say, feeling like I really need him to believe me.

“I think I
believe you,” he murmurs quietly.

It is in this moment that
something changes between us. The knowledge he believes me is euphoric, it feels good having another person on my side.

“You don’t have to sit with me you know, I’m not going anywhere. I like
being able to sit here in peace and I feel safe, even though they all hate me,” I tell him.

“And who says I don’t like sitting her
e enjoying the fuckin’ peace?” he says.

I know he’s outright lying. I
f I weren’t here I could not picture him just sitting here on his own in the quiet. He has been given orders to watch me and that’s what he is going to do no matter how much he might believe my intentions of wanting to rest.

“If you’re feeling up to it, do you want to
get out of here for a while?” he asks raising himself off the couch.

“Sure
.”

There is something about him that makes me think if I stay here much longer, I might just follow him anywhere he wants to go.

“You’ll need to change into something warmer, that dress will show everything you hide underneath on the back of my bike,” he says.

For a moment I think he knows about my scars but then it dawns on me, he means my underwear. Then it
also dawns on me that he wants to take me on his bike.

“I’ve never been on a bike before
,” I stutter out.

He frowns at me.
“You grew up in a club and you’ve never ridden on a bike?” he asks in disbelief.

“I was never allowed, I would always travel in the vans with the prospects
.”

“Well, today will be an experience you will never fuckin’ forget
,” he grins, escaping the room.

The grin spread across his face
does things to me that has never happened before. Before he comes back and changes his mind, I jump into my new jeans and a sweater, throwing my new jacket over the top and tying my hair into a ponytail. Looking in the mirror, Sparky was right. My new concealer had done a pretty good job of hiding the bruises on my cheek. For once, I’m not repulsed by my reflection. Staring back at myself, I can see the beginning of a new woman appearing. It’s refreshing what a few new clothes and safety from a different class of bikers can do to a person. I like it.

Sparky reappears
and takes in my appearance, he nods in approval, which makes me happy. I keep close to him as we walk through the club, the men hanging around acknowledge him but turn their heads away from me.

Awkwardness at its best.

It’s not until we’re outside and walking towards his bike that I realise I will have to touch him, like literally cuddle him from the back. At least when I’ve done that the last couple of times I was asleep. This time we’re both wide awake and aware.

He hands me a helmet and climbs on his bike. Taking a deep breath, I put the helmet on and fiddle with the straps. Here it is, time to climb on.

God must be looking down on me today, because he gave me the art of grace. I slipped on behind him easily enough and went to hold onto his shoulders. When he noticed what I was doing, he grabbed my hands and pulled them down and readjusted them around his waist, tightly. The whole process had my chest pulled tight against his back, leaving no space between us. Being this close to him and rubbing against my sensitive parts was beginning to drive me crazy.

My legs automatically clenched around him and he stilled. He must have got himself together as he put his hand on my thigh for a fraction of a second and started his bike.

Wow, if I weren’t feeling the need between my legs before, I definitely was now. The rumble from the engine was blowing me apart from the inside out.

He rode out of the gates I arrived through a few days ago and my heart beat frantically as he picked up speed and headed out of town.

My legs felt like jelly when I
got off the bike, as we arrived at the prettiest place on earth I have ever been to.

“When I told
Cas I was takin’ you out, he suggested here. No one around to see you and I thought it would be better to look at then my room,” he said, walking up beside me.

The lake
was beautiful with the sun shimmering across the water, but his room wasn’t bad while he is in it too.

“It’s beautiful here, thank you for bringing me
,” I smile, keeping my eyes on the water.

“You’re welcome
.”

I spot some large rocks to our left
and move to sit on one of them. Sparky follows and sits beside me, scooping a handful of smaller rocks as he does.

B
eing this close to him is intoxicating me. He smells like leather and a dark, spicy cologne. All I can see around me is nature at its quietest yet my body feels like its humming with electricity.

Sadness creeps over me as I think to myself how much I’m beginning to want him and know he wouldn’t come near me because of who I am.

Ignoring all yearning thoughts of him, I opt for striking up a conversation.

“So, you know about
my dad when no one else does. Why don’t you tell me something about you?” I say, turning my head slightly to see him.

S
omething flickers across his face and I immediately know why.

“It doesn’t have to
be anything to do with the club. Actually I’d prefer it not be. Trust me, I’ve had enough of club talk to last more than a lifetime.”

He throws a couple of the rocks across the water before he answers.

“My mother left when I was two years old, couldn’t handle being a mom so I’m told. My dad raised me on his own. He could be a mean bastard sometimes but he loved me and made sure I didn’t go without,” he said casually.

“Do you miss her?”

I miss my mom more than anything. A part of me is content she isn’t around anymore because she isn’t suffering still. Who knows what would have happened to her when my father died.

“You can’t miss what you don’t remember
,” he mumbled.

“Have you ever thought to try and find her?”

“I did once. I asked Slade to see if he could track her down. It didn’t take much as she left a trail of debt all over the place. He pulled up an address for her and I went to see her. Turns out it wasn’t only me she couldn’t handle but life too. She was a whore funding her crack addiction. A year after I found her, she had an overdose and died.”  

“I’m sorry to hear that
,” I say.

“Don’t be. I didn’t know her, she wasn’t a mother to me
.”

“What happened to your father?”

“He died a few years ago to cancer.”

“Well I am sorry. A
t least you know your father loved you.”

“Yeah he did
,” he murmured, throwing another rock across the water. “Surely your father loved you in his own way?”

“I don’t think so, he was incapable of love. He only tolerated my brother to keep the club in the family
,” I tell him. shuddering from memories springing to mind.

“He was no brother to you if he didn’t stand up for you. He should have looked out for you, that’s what brothers are for
,” he said bluntly.

“As far as I’m concerned I have no one now and I’m happier that way
.”

“You say you ran from them, do you thi
nk they will try to find you?” he asks.

“If they do, it won’t be be
cause they miss me,” I say, sadly knowing it’s the truth.

“But they won’t find me, as long as I don’t s
top running they won’t catch me. Eventually they will give up,” I add.

“That
ain’t no way to fuckin’ live,” he mutters. As if I don’t know that.

“It sounds like heaven compared
to going back there. I don’t have any other choice.”

“But you won’t tell me what happens to you there?”

“No.”

“Okay, will you tell me why you have a different name to Hunter?”

I’d rather answer this than talk about Tommy.

“Hunter despised
the thought of having a daughter. He only gave his name to my brother Joe. Hamilton is my mother’s name.”

I don’t catch what he mutters under his breath but it didn’t sound good. I don’t necessarily like talking about myself but I do like the back and forth
of conversation between us, so I carry on.

“So, you know about my name, why don’t
you tell me how you got yours?”

I know their club names all have a story behind them. When I was back with the Ghost Riders I had my own names for everyone but I never shared them because they weren’t kind.

Sparky looks at me for a long moment before answering.

“My real name is Jason Carter. I
was given the name Sparky ‘cos I have a talent with things that go bang.”

I like that he’s always truthful when I ask him a questio
n. If he doesn’t want to answer, instead of lying he says nothing or mutters it’s club business. My father was adamant the explosion at his club house was down to the Lost Souls. It was the catalyst of Alannah being taken from the cabin.

“You’re the one who blew the place up?” I gasp.

His head snaps back towards me and studies me for a moment before replying.

“I heard you
were caught up in it?” he asked, avoiding my question.

It was the first t
ime I tried to escape and failed. My father’s anger at my apparent lack of loyalty to him was soon replaced with a sickening glee when he found out where Alannah was staying.

“I was there.
I was on my way to see Alannah when I was knocked down.”

“I’m not saying it was me but if it was then I wouldn’t have done it if I knew you were there
” he says, still avoiding making eye contact with me.