Bill The Vampire - 01 (9 page)

“You're not going to like it,” she replied sheepishly.

“I doubt I could like it any less than I already do.”

She shrugged and said, “Fine. Dorks, dweebs, geeks. You know the type. That's who we were supposed to bring. Last month, the guys all brought fat girls, and this time it was ladies night. Sorry, but you have to admit a grown man carrying a handful of Castles and Dragons books...”

“Dungeons and Dragons,” I automatically correctly her.

“Whatever. Sorry, but you weren't exactly dripping with coolness. Besides which, it's not like I had much of a choice. Whenever Jeff sends us out on one of his little scavenger hunts, he makes sure to give all of his instructions as a compulsion.”

“Compulsion?”

“Yeah. That thing he and James tried on you last night,” she explained. “You know, feels like someone is blasting an order into your skull? That's a compulsion. Unlike you, the rest of us hear and obey,” she said, starting to sound snippy, as if she was resentful of me.

“So he commands you, and you have no choice but to do it?”

“For the most part, yes,” she answered.

“And does he do this a lot?”

“Pretty much. Gets off on it, I think. He especially likes to use it on us girls. Have us do all sorts of freaky shit.”

“Like... for example?” I asked, the pervert in me coming to the forefront.

“Like when he first turned me. The asshole had me lap dance him whenever he got in the mood. Wherever we were, I'd have to lap dance. We could be in the middle of fucking
Macy's
and suddenly I'd have to start grinding against him!”

“What about sex?” I asked. Hey, if she was explaining things, I might as well get the dirt.

“Huh?”

“Does he compel you to sleep with him, too?”

“No. I just do that because he's cute.” (
Yeah, that figures!
)

“I see. Ah, anyway. How does it work?”

“Well, when a man and a woman like each other very much...” she started.

“I know how sex works!” I growled.

She gave me a grin in return. “Just making sure. As for compulsion, pretty much all of us can try to do it, although it mostly works from sire to child. The older ones amongst us, though, can usually get it to work on whoever they please. That's why James was able to try it on you.”

“And it usually works?”

“Mostly. As we get older, we develop resistance to it. But it takes a while.”

“But it didn't work on me right out of the gate,” I pointed out.

“Yeah. Surprised the shit out of all of us. Most of us thought Freewills were just a myth.” (
Vampires thinking something else was a myth... that's a good one.
)

“And a Freewill is
what,
exactly?”

“Supposedly every so often, a person who is turned is able to completely ignore being compelled, even by the strongest of masters. There’s more to it, but the bottom line is that it's really rare. In fact, I don't think it's happened in a long time. If even James thought you were a myth, that says something. You're kind of like the vampire equivalent of finding a unicorn in your backyard.”

Okay, that was something potentially useful. On the other hand, if it was as rare as Sally said it was, I could still wind up on a table in some dark dungeon being dissected by some vampire mad scientists. Not exactly a fate worth looking forward to. On the positive side, at least they couldn't willingly make me climb onto the table for it. So, I guess that was something.

Sally suddenly snapped her fingers in front of me. “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open, or can we go eat now?”

“Sorry. This is kind of new to me. I have a lot of questions.”

“
Fine
. But just a few more. I'm starving. One of these days someone really should write a manual for the newbs.”

I mock bowed and sarcastically replied, “Thank you for your undying compassion, my mistress of the night... speaking of which, why exactly are
you
here?”

“Actually, it was James’ suggestion. Last night, he mentioned we should get you a babysitter. Jeff said it was my fault we got you dumped on us (
oh yeah, feeling the love now
), so voila. I'm supposed to show you the ropes, get you fed, keep you from doing something stupid to get yourself killed, etc. In short...”

“A babysitter,” I finished. “Great. Remind me to thank... James was it? Are you talking about Ozymandias?”

“Duh! You didn't think his name was really Ozymandias, did you?”

“Of course not!” I lied. “So why was everyone calling him that?”

“It's tradition.”

“It's tradition to call someone a stupid name?”

“No, idiot! It's tradition that visiting elders respect the rules of each coven. Since one of Jeff's rules is that everyone takes a new name...”

“Kinda like a fucked up version of the
X-men
?”

“Who?”

“Never mind,” I replied. “So, James has to respect Jeff's rules, and that means he has to take on an alias while he's here.”

“Exactly. See, not as dumb as you look.” (
bitch!
)

“And not all covens have this rule?”

“None of the others do, actually,” she said. “Every coven has its own rules and traditions, within limitations, of course. For example, there's this one coven up in Cambridge that will only turn people who have PhDs. And they have to be published in a journal at least once a decade, otherwise they get staked.”

“Fucking MIT! Even their vampires are elitist fuckwads!” I muttered to myself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing important. So, if one of Night Razor's...sorry...
Jeff's
rules is that everyone takes on a new identity, then why don't you have one? So far, all I've heard people call you is Sally. That's downright pedestrian compared to Night GAYzor.”

Sally chuckled for a moment at my joke (
hey, she got me killed, but that’s no reason to stop putting the moves on her
) and then said, “That
is
my coven name, or at least part of it.”

“What’s the rest?”

“It's stupid. Jeff gave it to me. It's lame, even by his standards.”

“What is it? I promise not to laugh.”

“Sunset. My name is
Sally Sunset
.”

Okay, so I lied about the not laughing part. “You're right. That
is
stupid!”

“Yeah, very funny. Thank you for your sympathy,
Dr. Death
.”

“Point taken. But what about...”

“Enough! You need to be taught how to feed, and I need to eat. I already told you I'm freaking starving. I'm surprised you're not. Most people are when they're first turned. I've even seen a few wake up as little more than feral animals until they got some blood in them.”

“I ate some chicken before the party. But I guess I could use a
bite
... get it? A bite!”

“Yeah, haven't heard that one before,” she said dryly. “Let's go!”

“Are we going out?”

“Don't be stupid. It's four p.m. Sun's still out. We're not going outside unless you like the idea of being extra crispy. We're going
down
. “

“FOUR P.M.!? How hard did that asshole hit me?”

“Pretty hard,” she admitted, “but that's not all of it. Once you were turned, your body's natural rhythm reversed itself. You're nocturnal now, so your body is going to want to rest itself during the day. Jeff's punch just kind of helped you get to sleep faster.”

“I'll be sure to thank him. Hey, where is he and the rest of your merry group, anyway?” I asked as I followed her.

She opened the door and beckoned me to follow her downstairs. “Not here. We have space in and under almost every building on this block. “

“The rent must be a killer.”

“One of the perks of eternal life is interest compounded annually,” she quipped. “Besides, it's probably a good thing Jeff isn't here. He didn't seem to like you much.” (
No shit, Sherlock!
) I followed her to the first floor and then we continued downward.

“You better hope he changes his mind, or in three months you're gonna be toast.”

That brought me to a screeching halt. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second! What happens in three months?”

“Your protection wears off,” she said matter-of-factly, and kept descending.

“What protection?”

“James'. He put you under his personal protection. Nobody's allowed to mess with you, or they'll have to deal with him.”

“Okay. That's a good thing,” I said.

“Exactly. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this chat.”

“So, what happens in three months?”

“It ends.”

“Why?”

“That's our law. A vampire can put a newly turned vampire under his or her protection. It's meant as a way to ensure that all of the recently reborn have a fair chance and don't get preyed upon by others. Sadly, not all of our kind are as civilized as us (
considering Jeff wanted to gak me the second I woke up, I'd hate to see what she meant by that
). However, the protection only lasts for ninety days. Once that's done, you're on your own.”

“But I'm part of the coven now!” I pointed out.

“So was Todd, a.k.a. Rage Vector. Being one of us doesn't mean shit. If Jeff decides to stake you at that point, it'll be his business.”

“How comforting, knowing that I have an extra violent tumor that's going to kill me in three months,” I muttered as I noticed we were probably around sewer level by now.

“Those are the breaks. We're vampires, not the
Peace Corps
. Ah, finally! Here we are. Time for you to make your first kill.” She motioned toward a large reinforced door that was blocking our path.

“Kill?” I asked, even though I knew exactly what she meant.