Billow (29 page)

It was personal. A direct message to the
sondaleur
.

Tristan reached the same conclusion. "The Shadow."

I felt him.

Taunting and showing he had the upper hand. Using magic to hurt Marcella. Take Nick, the children, and other innocent victims.

Right in front of my face.

A faint flicker of emotion passed through Rhian's eyes. Fear?

I steadily met her gaze. "The Shadow is challenging me."

The weight of my statement pressed down on the room.

Chloe and Aubrey shivered. Ian paled. Jeeves closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

Rhian let out a small breath and her shoulders slightly dropped.

"It seems it has become more important we locate Gilroy." Weary hazel eyes turned to Aubrey and Ian. "Have you made progress on cutting off his financials?"

Ian nodded. "We've completed half the accounts."

"The rest should be blocked by noon tomorrow," Aubrey added.

"Ms. Moreaux." Rhian shifted her gaze. "While I don't approve of the actions you've taken tonight, you've provided a tremendous breakthrough in our investigation. You have our thanks."

Relief flashed over Chloe's face and she straightened. "Thank you, Governor."

Rhian suggested we spend the night at the Governing House. Aubrey and Chloe agreed, but I insisted on returning to the dorm. They needed to catch up and I wanted to give them time together.

I waited for the girls to leave with Jeeves and briefly spoke to my grandmother alone. Things with Chloe were partially resolved, but there was more that needed to be done. As her friend, I'd do what I could.

Once I finished up with Rhian, Tristan drove me back to the Academy. His arm occasionally touched mine and the comfortable interior of his car threatened to bring back memories I'd worked hard to put away.

"How many Aquidae were there?"

"What?"

"Tonight. In Lyondale."

I'd kept my explanation simple. Chloe went alone to investigate and I brought her back safely.

I hadn't mentioned Aquidae in the meeting.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He glanced at me, his expression serious. "The blood is all over your clothes, Kendra."

I'd completely forgotten about that. Selkie eyes were too damned sharp.

"Two, three?" he persisted.

No use denying it now. "One."

"A lot of blood for one."

I turned my head to look out the window. "It was about to attack Chloe."

"We need to clean up the scene before a human comes across it."

His tone irritated me. Did he think I didn't know that?

"Julian was there." My voice was clipped. "He already took care of it."

I wasn't interested in talking about what happened in the Trident.

It was gone. Done with.

Tristan was a distraction. He asked questions and said things that pulled my focus away from what I needed to do.

At the Academy parking lot, I left with a hastily muttered goodbye. I spent a few fitful hours trying to sleep, but memories wouldn't leave me alone.

Gabe's accusing eyes. The sparkle of a bracelet. Black blood showering the air. Nick's grey eyes in the Trident.

The Shadow orchestrated all of it.

Because of me.

Dawn lightened the sky and I finally gave up.

The Academy was quiet this early on a Saturday. I headed for the track field behind the Training Center. With the arrival of winter, I spent most days using the treadmill.

But today, I wanted the cold air burning my veins and stinging my face. After a few stretches, I began a brutal run.

Wind whipped through hair. Lungs pumped in time to arms and legs.

I ran and imagined I flew.

Free. Untouchable.

Light and weightless. Just like the abandon I found in the silky arms of the deep water.

But the images still came.

Muscles ached and I pushed harder.

I envisioned everything I held behind those walls disappearing and disintegrating to dust.

Legs started to cramp and still I ran.

Until the pain in my body finally extinguished the images in my mind.

I collapsed on the grassy center of the field. Bitter cold soothed flushed, sweaty skin.

I placed hands behind my head and watched the sky.

No clouds, no grey. Just a clear, crisp day.

"I thought I was the only one stupid enough to be out this early."

Cam tossed his gym bag aside and dropped next to me.

"Working out?"

"Indoors. Was about to leave and saw you killing yourself out here."

I sat up cross-legged. "I wanted to get in a light morning run."

He raised his brow. "You were running like you had the devil after you."

I changed the subject. "Healers said it was okay for you to work out?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't a bad injury."

"Not the impression I got when Chloe took care of you."

"Shut up."

"So they let you out?"

"Nah. I snuck out this morning." He glanced at me. "I don't know how you can spend so much time there. Being cooped up for a few hours was enough to drive me nuts."

"I'm not doing it on purpose," I muttered.

I hated being at the clinic as much as he did.

"You should talk to Chloe. She's worried about your injury."

Cam's mouth hardened into a grim line. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I think —"

"Don't start, Irisavie. Why can't you just let it be?"

"If you'd listen," I retorted. "I was going to say you guys should stay apart for a while."

Surprise flickered over his face.

"I talked to her," I said in a calmer tone. "She needs time to think about things. It really has nothing to do with you."

His fingers played with the short blades of grass. "Yeah, I know. Took me awhile to figure that out, though. That's why I've been trying to give her space."

I studied his profile. "You liked her for a long time."

It took him a few moments to answer.

"Since second grade."

I hid a smile. "Really?"

He scowled. "If you ever tell anyone or bring this up again, I'll kick your ass so hard you won't walk for a year."

Don't laugh
.

I lifted my hand with a solemn expression. "You have my word."

Hesitance flickered over his face and I waited for him to go on.

"All of us were in the same class," he finally said. "Chlo, Aub, Ry, Alex, and I. But we weren't friends with the girls then and I didn't really talk to her."

He kicked at a patch of dirt. "A bunch of older kids shoved me down in the schoolyard one day. Skinned my knees and palms and there was a bit of blood. Nothing much, usual kid stuff."

He smiled and leaned back on his hands. "It hurt in that way little kids feel pain, you know?"

Yeah, I knew.

It wasn't so much the physical pain, but the shock that someone was being mean to you. And then you saw blood. No matter how tiny the amount was, it scared kids. All that shock and fear added up to the pain being worse.

"Ryder jumped in and yelled at them to stop. The boys started in on him and our teacher had a hell of a time trying to end it."

Hearing his name sent an unexpected lump into my throat.

"I ran like a coward and hid around the corner of the building," he continued. "Didn't want them to see me cry. Chloe came and sat next to me. She took out a bunch of those Band-Aids little girls carry in their pockets. The ones with cartoon characters on them."

I nodded.

"She started putting them on all the scrapes. Ignored the snot running down my face, the hiccups, all my girly tears. Said those boys were mean and I was too nice to be like that."

Something inside moved and I focused on the ground.

"I watched this ondine apply these pink princess Band-Aids on my knees and hands and all I could think of was never taking them off. I wanted to keep them on for as long as possible."

Silence stretched.

And like with Julian, I knew what Cam had shared.

"I waited a long time to be with Chloe," he said quietly. "But she has to want to be with me. If she's not ready, then I'll wait. If she needs time and space, I'll give it to her. As long as she needs me to. If she decides she doesn't want to be with me, then I guess I'll deal with that, too."

Aubrey, Alex, Cam, Chloe had known each other almost their entire lives.

Sharp envy knifed through me.

What was it like to have that? To grow up together, build a connection that defied anything I knew in my own life?

Before arriving in Haverleau, I managed every contact I had through what I sensed with my Virtue. Every action and reaction, everything for a purpose.

But with each passing day, Empath grew more meaningless. Aquidae could hide from it. People had a better understanding of others without it.

There was something stronger than my Virtue.

What I grasped with magic in a single moment was powerless against what people understood over time.

Cam took a deep breath. "Breakfast's going to be over soon. You coming?"

I shook my head. I wasn't hungry at all.

"Suit yourself." He stood and grabbed his bag.

"I needed you guys to stay together," I blurted out.

He froze.

"After everything…" I swallowed hard. Why was it so difficult? "I didn't want you two to be alone."

It was something more. Something that hurt so much, I couldn't say it aloud.

Couldn't or wouldn't?

Like everything else in my life, it was a question I didn't have an answer to.

"It was the same for Ry, you know," Cam murmured. "He didn't want you to be alone."

It was the first time we spoke about him since he passed.

I was grateful he stayed where he was so I didn't have to see his face.

Because it didn't matter that Cam had no Virtue.

He already knew and he was able to say it.

"Irisavie, you can't force Chloe and me together because it eases your guilt." His voice was rough. "Over not returning Ryder's feelings. Over what happened to him and Chloe's mom."

It's my fault
.

The unvarnished truth hung like an ugly splotch in the beautiful morning air.

"Ry knew you didn't feel the same way about him. He wanted to be near you, even if it was as a friend. He did what he always did."

His hand rested on my shoulder and my throat suddenly burned. "Like he did for me with those guys back in second grade."

Footsteps faded away. But his words continued to jar my insides, shaking loose everything I'd managed to forget for just a moment.

 ***

It was silent.

The blare of the television usually filled Nexa's cottage. But today there was only the faint shifting scents of salt, smoke, and alcohol.

I half-expected her to not be there for our lesson. But she waited at the kitchenette table, surrounded by her usual mess.

I sat and gave my best no-nonsense look. There were things I needed to clarify.

"I want answers."

She took a drag on her cigarette. "To what questions?"

I got the distinct feeling she already knew.

"Why didn't you tell me Julian was a Projector? Or Jeev— er, Augustin?"

"It wasn't my story to tell."

What a cop-out answer.

I held back my irritation. "He's my trainer. You could've told me."

Amusement flickered over her wizened face. "Information exists if you ask the right questions."

The resemblance between her and Julian became more evident by the second.

"I do ask —"

"Didn't you wonder why Julian seemed curiously compelling?" She stubbed out her cigarette. "Why he was the person best suited for training you?"

Uncomfortable, I realized I hadn't asked those questions because I'd made certain assumptions.

Nexa suddenly cackled. A sly look I really didn't like crossed her face. "Of course, he is a very charming young man."

I hastily got up to dump the overflowing ashtray.

"But there is more to it than pure charisma. Your Virtues recognize each other."

She opened a bag of corn chips, the sound of crackling foil cutting through smoky air.

"For every light, there is darkness. For every action, there is a consequence." She munched on a chip and swallowed. "And for every Virtue, there is a complementary one. Empath is a magic of absorption. We sense and pull into us the essence of living beings. And the Virtue of Projection —"

"Sends magic outward." I returned to my seat and took a chip from the bag she offered. "Casts an illusion outside of us. The opposite of what we do."

Nexa nodded. "Just as Virtue magic complements and overflows with elemental magic, there is a balance among the eight Virtues as well. Empath and Projection. Teleportation and Kinesis. Healing and Transmutation. Clairvoyance and Cloaking."

I chewed, mulling over her statement.

From the moment we met, I'd felt a strange connection with Julian. Something I couldn't turn away from.

Our Virtues naturally responded to each other.

Just like at the Summoning Pool, an instinctual elemental knowledge kicked in and I understood how all the other Virtues fit together in an intricate geometric structure.

Teleportation and Kinesis dealt with air movement. Teleportation pushed someone through air, while Kinesis controlled an object's movement by shaping the air itself.

Healing and Transmutation manipulated water in different subjects. Healing controlled cells within a mortal body and Transmutation used the water in plants and materials to bend their structure.

The Virtues of Clairvoyance and Cloaking involved time and space. Clairvoyance opened up the future and Cloaking concealed from sight and mind.

"Over two thousand years have passed since ondines came on land and assimilated among humans." Nexa shrugged. "As with life, the course of elementals continues to change. Now we have demillirs with Virtues."

She spoke like it wasn't a big deal. But it was a huge leap forward on the evolutionary scale. I still had a hard time wrapping my brain around it.