Bind Me Before You Go (Entangled Brazen) (Serve) (10 page)

He brushed the hair away from her eyes and tucked the strands behind her ear. Then he leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead. “I want you to feel safe with me, Cassidy. I want to keep you safe.”

She stiffened, unsure what to say or do because she wanted him to keep her safe. She realized she wanted to keep him beyond two weeks, something he said was an impossibility.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“You’ll go if I tell you,” she finally let out.

“No, baby,” he soothed. “I promise I won’t.”

She took in a deep breath.

Please God, don’t let him be lying to me or himself
.

“I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if we keep doing this.”

“What are you afraid will happen?” he said, then just looked at her, waiting for her response. When she didn’t say anything, he asked, “Have you been left before?”

She closed her mouth and pressed her lips into a line.

“Who left you, baby? Who left my woman all alone in this world?”

She hadn’t expected these kinds of questions. She shook her head, her eyes widening.

“Tell me,” he whispered. “You’re safe.”

Her bottom lip quivered, and her breath caught in her throat. “I was left before I even knew what it meant,” she choked out. “My dad was gone before I was born, and my mother couldn’t be bothered to really be my mom. I was too busy being hers.”

Then a hot flash of anger coursed through her. She hadn’t anticipated this with anyone—not even him. She hadn’t asked for it, either. But he’d pushed her until she’d let her boundaries down, including the ones that kept her safe. She tore herself away from him and went to the windows.

The moonlight poured through the glass, casting light across the room. It would be beautiful if she didn’t feel so raw. So completely exposed. She should go now, before he had a chance to tell her that her secrets should have remained secrets.

But she felt him come up quickly from behind her and wrap his arms tightly around her waist, like a vice.

“You think that’s enough to drive me away? You think there’s anything about you I don’t find fucking breathtaking?”

His words might have come out of his mouth, but they traveled down her throat and released a cry stuck there for as long as she could remember. The sound was awful and tragic, a version of herself she both did and did not recognize.

He spun her around and, while staring deep into her eyes, he hoisted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pressed her back against the cool glass. Goosebumps formed along her skin.

She could feel his erection, his body already prepared for her. Her nakedness, her vulnerability…she didn’t know how to deal with it, but it hinted at the gulf between them, and she wanted—needed—to close that distance in the only way they knew how.

She wrapped her legs around him and urged him forward.

Without taking his eyes off her, he thrust his cock into her awaiting passage. He held her tightly by the waist, buried his face into her neck, and began brutally fucking her.

“I’ve got you,” he groaned into her skin. “I’ve got you.”

She felt it. She actually felt the sensation deep inside her chest. The constant pressure eased, like a steel vice had been loosened. Had fallen to the floor, soundless. A wave of euphoric relief flooded into its place, washing away the corrosion caused by years of neglect and loneliness.

He had her, and with that claim, she was able to let go.
Really
let go.

It was as if her body no longer belonged to her, even though all of her senses were heightened beyond anything she’d experienced before. And all she could do was take it, because she was immobilized.

Her body was already sore from before, but he kept barreling his dick full force into her. The angle he had her body in was perfect. It not only allowed him to go in deep, he was able to rub her clit with every stroke.

The pleasure rose within her, like an approaching storm.

His hold grew almost painful, like claws digging into her, and he threw his head back and let out a roar as his own orgasm consumed him. As if everything inside of him was shattering like glass.

Witnessing his unraveling was the trigger that sent her over the edge with him. She shut her eyes and bit hard into her bottom lip, her orgasm rising, all consuming. The sensations radiated through her veins like a drug. She was swimming in the deep end of her pleasure, yet somehow still felt out of her body at the same time.

And when she opened her eyes, he was staring at her with awe, almost as if he was seeing her for the first time, or through a new lens. And never, never had she felt more open to another person in her entire life.

She slumped into him and, once again, he cradled her in his arms and carried her like a child, this time to his bedroom. Once on his bed, he rubbed her arms and legs to help her blood circulate. All the while neither of them spoke. She was in a dreamy place inside her own head, but she still relished the feel of his hands on her, rubbing life back into her tingling limbs.

Then he went into his bathroom, came back with a damp washcloth, and cleaned between her legs. The feeling was delicious, and she was moved by the almost reverent expression for her on his face. The coolness of the cloth on her skin brought her back from her haze and while she hated to break the spell, something had to be said.

“We didn’t use a condom.”

He folded the cloth in his hands. “Yeah, I know. I swear that wasn’t my intention.”

“I know,” she quickly answered. “But I gotta know. Um…are you…”

“Clean?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m good. Haven’t gone without a condom in years. Plus, my last checkup said I was clean. And I haven’t been with anyone but you since then.”

She sighed. Relieved. He gave her a look that told her he was waiting for her answer.

“Never went without a condom before.”

He nodded and then tossed the washcloth into an open hamper across the room. He peeled back the covers and motioned for her to get in. He followed along and spooned his body next to hers. As much as she didn’t want to overthink what this was, what was between them, her pulse slowed, and she relaxed.

She’d felt a little like a lost wanderer all her life. No father. No mother. Never sure who would love her or for how long. But right here, in his arms, this felt like home.

“It was incredible,” she said. “You inside me. Nothing between us. I want that.”

“Yeah?” He gazed down at her, his eyes warm like honey, a hint of a smile curving his mouth.

“Oh yeah.”

He didn’t say anything else, just held her closer. She expected him to return the sentiment in some way, but his silence was a heavy reminder of the emotional distance widening between them with every encounter. She didn’t just want this sexual intimacy. She’d opened her heart to him without even realizing it.

But she knew where that kind of desire would get her. He’d told her himself.

“We’ll be together for two weeks. That way, neither of us can get too attached.”

“I’m not boyfriend material.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to introduce me to your parents.”

She wanted to ask him if any of that had changed for him. If he was now hers for longer than a fortnight. But she didn’t have the courage just then. This moment felt too good, both of them all warm and dewy, filled with promise and affection.

What would she do if he reminded her that however good tonight was, this was all there ever would be between them?

She’d thought knowing what she wanted would set her free. But now she saw that desire was a double-edged sword. What good was it to know what she wanted if she had to live with the disappointment of it slipping through her fingers?

Then he burrowed under the covers with her, and—somehow—her mind quieted. Just before she drifted off, she allowed herself a moment to revel in the realization that something new had really begun. She just hoped it was something she could survive.

Chapter Nine

The minute he woke up and saw Cassidy sleeping next to him, curled up like she’d been sleeping by his side all her life, he knew he was in trouble.

Her golden brown hair was fanned out on the pillow, with some wisps partially hiding her eyes. He stared and marveled as he watched her sleep. She had the longest natural lashes he’d ever seen. He couldn’t help but smile at the constellation of freckles scattered across her cheeks.

She looked younger when she was sleeping. At peace. Her guard finally down.

Yeah, the sex had sent him into the stratosphere. She was beautiful in that no-fuss way he preferred, and that luscious, curvy body of hers was absolutely made for fucking.

But her physical beauty wasn’t what had grabbed him by his heart and balls. He really got off on her no nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is style. She was a rare combination of toughness and vulnerability, and just enough of each to make her interesting and unpredictable. He could still smell her on his skin, and he never wanted to wash it off.

He’d nearly forgotten himself last night. The way she’d opened up to him, he’d nearly opened up in return. She wanted to know what haunted him. She wanted to know
him
. He wanted that, too. He needed it, the assurance that his fucked up past and his fucked up family weren’t so bad that they’d drive someone away from him.

If he gave in to the need to open up, this would be the last time he got to taste her, and that irritated the shit out of him.

She’d probably learned to assess people and situations quickly due to living with that poor excuse of a mother. Thinking about what Cassidy had lived through, knowing that what he’d heard was only a small fraction of what happened to her, made him want to hunt down all the pieces of shit in that trailer park, gather them together, and deliver his own version of justice. Torch the whole mess and return it to the pit of Hell it came from.

All the more surprising that she’d allowed her guard down enough to let a man like him near her.

“She can do better than me,” he muttered under his breath, still staring at her.

She stirred at the sound of his voice. Then her eyes flew wide open, and she hurriedly brushed her hair out of her eyes. “What time is it?”

God, she was adorable. “It’s a little after five. Still early.” He couldn’t help but smile as she visibly relaxed back into the pillow. “What time have you got to be at the hospital for work?”

“Not until 9:30. So I’ve got some time.”

She gave him a sexy, crooked smile, then yawned and stretched her arms over her head, still naked from the night before. The ripe, rosy buds of her breasts peeked out from under the covers, lusciously full. Looking too good to leave alone.

He licked his lips and brought them down on one of her peaking nipples while taking the weight of her breasts into his eager hands.

She jumped. “David!” Her voice bubbled with laughter even in the midst of shrieking in surprise.

His mouth only latched on more firmly. Her nipple hardened and rose between his lips. He sucked hard while running the tip of his tongue in a frenzy back and forth along the pebbled flesh. She let out a moan and weaved her fingers through his tousled hair. Then he gave the other nipple equal attention, and she curled her body towards him.

“God, that feels so good,” she whispered.

He slowly dragged one of his hands down her abdomen, so smooth and soft. Skin like velvet. His fingers skirted over her mound, and she shivered. From the first time he’d gotten to peruse all of her, he couldn’t help but like that her hair was trimmed neatly. Taken care of, but without a great deal of fuss. Just like her.

He moved his fingers in between her folds. So wet. Warm, silk heaven. Her head slumped back, her arms lazily draped over her head, and she opened her legs wider. For him.

She moaned as he thrust a couple of fingers deep inside her while rubbing her bud with his thumb. They fell into a delicious rhythm, and her hips moved in time with his hand.

He loved watching her face contort, her body sheen in a thin layer of glistening sweat as it neared orgasm. The scent of her arousal permeated the air and went into his lungs, and his cock was like an iron spike. So hard, so ready for her.

She lifted her head off the pillow and grasped his wrist. “Not this way,” she said on a rushed breath. “I want you in my mouth. I want to taste you as you let go.”

“
Fuck
,” he groaned. “You’re gonna make me come just by talking like that.”

He pulled her into the middle of the bed and then flipped himself around so that his cock was perfectly aligned with that sumptuous mouth of hers while his own mouth was positioned between her legs.

Lying side by side together, she opened herself for him again, and he couldn’t help but take in the sight of her perfectly pink sex. Just as he was about to take his taste, she enveloped the head of his dick with that warm and wet mouth of hers.

And damn, his woman wasn’t in the mood to tease. She devoured him. He glanced back in time to see her cheeks hollow and take in a good bit of his cock into her mouth. She surrounded the rest of him with her hands, close to the base of his shaft, jerking him in perfect tandem with her hungry mouth.

Just when he was getting ready to shoot down her throat, she switched it up and brought his balls into her mouth. She teased them with her tongue and gave them just enough of a pull with her lips to elicit a deep groan from him.

She couldn’t take all of him down her throat, but with the way she used her hand and mouth together, she didn’t need to.

He was going to come if he didn’t distract himself soon, so he turned back to her sex and gave a long, sensuous lick from the tip of her clitoris, through her swelling folds. Then he did it again. And again. Each time picking up speed and adding more pressure.

She let out a rough moan, one that vibrated her throat and shot straight through his dick. Holy fuck, she was going to drive him over the edge with that wicked, dirty mouth of hers.

He groaned loud and long into her, alternating between flicking her clit with his tongue and sucking deep pulls on it. He matched his pace and rhythm to hers, the pleasure building, both of their hips moving in time. His mouth returned to her clit, but he couldn’t help but want to drive her over the edge. He delved his fingers into her. She pushed herself onto his hand, as though eager for his touch, and he obliged.

And goddamn did she return the favor. That was it for him. His orgasm scored straight down the column of his spine, tightening his balls and shooting his load into her eager, waiting throat. When he heard her moans become screams, her hips barreled forward like a bullet train, her muscles contracted, and she let go for him.

And he loved every fucking moment of it.

Black spots floated behind his eyelids as he rested his forehead against her inner thighs, secretly smiling because he could still feel her trembling. Aftershocks. He could relate. His whole body had become liquid and useless, but he forced himself to move both of them so that they were facing each other, then he pulled the comforter back in place.

He just wanted to hold her for a while. He was riding a wave of emotion he hadn’t experienced ever. Even with his ex, Marla.

At least this time the relationship would end because they both wanted it to. He couldn’t deny that he wanted something more with Cassidy, but he knew better than to make the attempt. He’d tried before, not just with his ex, though that one time had been the final nail in the coffin.

No. He had to appreciate this for what it was. It was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but it was temporary. The thought should have comforted him, but he could already sense the ache Cassidy would leave behind.

She snuggled closer to him and gazed up into his eyes, looking as gone over him as he was over her. But even as he luxuriated in the moment, he couldn’t forget the limitations of their arrangement. He couldn’t open himself to her the way she had to him, not unless he was willing to break this off sooner than they’d agreed.

And he had no intention of losing a single second with her before he left for the next mission. The memory of her would sustain him during those lonely nights.

As if sensing his conflict, she said, “I never thought something this casual could be so good.” She looked up at him, and he offered her a smile in return.

He held her in his arms and hugged her close, letting his body answer what his mouth refused to say.

“Looking back,” she said, “I think I chose guys who would stay in the little boxes I created for them. I didn’t want to fall too hard for someone from back home. I didn’t want anything or anyone interfering with me getting out of Florida.” She paused and averted her gaze. “Among other concerns.”

He knew from his training that she was doing some evading of her own right now. She had her own reasons for not wanting to open up. And now it looked like his convincing her to show her true self had inspired the kinds of feelings he’d hoped they’d avoid.

How could he have been so careless? Sure, he wanted her to be better off than when he found her. He also knew he was feeling more for this woman than he had for anyone in a long time. Maybe ever.

There were only a few days remaining before he left for his next mission. He’d better make them count.

“It must’ve been pretty fucked up if you wanted out that bad,” he said.

“Yeah, it was.”

Her gaze still drifted off. Clouded. Probably filling with memories she didn’t want to revisit. He could certainly understand that.

When she refocused, she checked the clock. “I better get a move on if I’m going to get back home and ready for work on time.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

She cocked an eyebrow. “You will, huh?”

“Yeah. This isn’t over.” He stood up. “I’ll drive you home.”

She offered him one of her smirks as her initial reply, one that—somehow—was both smart-ass and adorable at the same time.

“It’s just…I don’t know…who would’ve thought it would take me being tied up in order to let go?”

He continued to rub her head, adding some pressure to relieve any lingering tension. Then he gave her a chaste kiss on her temple.

“You make me feel…safe. I know you’re a dangerous man. Not that you would hurt me physically, but I know that the training you have, the kind of work you do…”

“I get what you’re saying. You don’t have to explain.”

She nodded, and her gaze fell to his mouth as she leaned in and kissed him. Gently. With care. Then, before she pulled away, she whispered, “You know you can trust me too, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer, instead closed his fist tighter around her hair and pulled her closer to him.

We’ll see soon enough.