Bind Me Before You Go (Entangled Brazen) (Serve) (6 page)

Chapter Five

When Cassidy had opened her apartment door, his heart had seized. God, she was completely stunning. But what had really grasped his gut was seeing his business card in her hand. His
unused
business card.

That told him all he needed to know. She wanted him, badly. Enough to keep his card close. He roughly expelled a breath, relief washing over him like a baptism. She may desire him, but she was cautious. He could work with that.

David didn’t waste any time getting her out of her apartment, with a bag packed for the weekend, then back to his home. He hadn’t known for sure how she’d respond to his invitation, but when he’d seen his business card in her hand, everything had clicked.

He must have ridden the route from Manhattan to Brooklyn thousands of times, and while he always welcomed the pleasant buzz he got as he entered his borough, something was different this time. Feeling her arms around him as they rode across the Brooklyn Bridge? Nothing in his memory even came close. Even with his ex—and he’d planned on marrying that woman.

He didn’t want to ruin this affair before it started, however, so he pushed that realization aside and they pulled into his driveway. Walking through his front door, however, he could feel
her
retreating into herself, with her shoulders slightly hunched and her teeth digging into her bottom lip.

Remember this is about her. I only have two weeks to help her figure out what turns her on. She learns about her sexual side and I’ll have the small piece of her to remember her by.

“What’s wrong?” he said.

She looked off and shoved her hands in her pockets.

“You can tell me,” he soothed while stroking his palms up and down her upper arms. “What’s between us won’t get started until you’re ready.”

She still worried that delicious lip of hers with her teeth, but then she blew out a sigh and met his heated gaze.

“I’ve never done this—getting tied up, dressing up in club gear.”

“I think I got that about you,” he answered softly, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. Of course, with her this close, he couldn’t help but take in her scent. Fuck, she was pure springtime. Flowery, earthy, fresh.

The other night at her apartment, she had tasted like honey between her legs, and her skin was as soft as velvet. Just being this close to her made his cock twitch and lengthen. But first, he knew he had to get her comfortable and feeling safe.

“I know I said I wanted to explore this with you,” she started, still having difficulty looking him in the eye, “but now I’m, like, totally freaked.”

She was new at this, and he got that. What surprised him more than anything was that he had all the time and patience in the world for her. In the past, he hadn’t ever bothered with women new to the BDSM scene, because he wasn’t into the idea of training a newbie.

But Cassidy wasn’t some naïve lemming, mindlessly following whatever he said. She was intelligent, complicated, and multidimensional, and her sharing her vulnerability—knowing it was a part of who she was, but not
all
that she was—gave him a deep sense of satisfaction that he couldn’t fully explain.

“Let’s break it down, babe. What parts freak you out?”

She blew out a gust of air against her loose bangs. “I don’t even know where to start with that.”

“Okay, is it the idea of me tying you up in my ropes?”

“Um…no…” He saw a slight glimmer in her eyes. “That part I’m actually, uh, looking forward to.”

Thank fuck
.

“Okay, is it the idea of dressing up for me?”

Now that glimmer in her eye was accompanied by the cutest little lip tremor, with her luscious-as-hell mouth curling up. “That part sounds good to me, too.”

“That’s all kinds of good for me, too.” He pressed her body against his, and her softness and scent made him rock hard.

“Look, I know you’re not my boyfriend and this isn’t a relationship or anything,” she said in a quiet voice, one that broke his heart a little to hear. “But I need to take things slower.”

“Hey, we’ve got all weekend. Why don’t I show you around first? Get you something to drink?”

Her whole body relaxed, and the tension fell off of her. “That would be completely awesome.”

“So, you were drinking red wine earlier. Want another glass?”

And just like that, she tensed again. “How did you know what I was drinking? You weren’t there ’til
after
I finished.”

…

He bit into his bottom lip, obviously suppressing a laugh any way he could. “Settle down, Nancy Drew,” he teased. He ran his thumb across the skin of her upper lip. “Red wine leaves a stain.” He held up his thumb and, sure enough, there was a smear of purple.

She smirked and rolled her eyes. “Fine, okay. I’ll have another glass.”

He let out a laugh and shook his head while walking to the kitchen.

“It’s not nice to gloat!” she called out. Now it was her turn to laugh, shake off her silliness, and give herself the chance to peruse the man’s inner sanctum.

His home wasn’t the typical bachelor apartment or room share that she was used to seeing in New York. For starters, David lived in a building, an
entire
building. She knew he wasn’t hurting financially, but she’d had no idea security consulting could afford this level of comfort. In New York, no less.

He came back with her glass of wine, although nothing for himself, which she thought was strange, and he gave her a brief tour.

The interior of his place appeared as she’d expected it to: industrial with an open floor plan, exposed brick, and a maze of copper pipes running from one end of the ceiling to the other. The main level included a gourmet kitchen with a glazed cement-topped island, along with a casual living room/dining room setup.

He had the requisite enormous flat screen TV that every guy she knew seemed to have. The seats seemed to have been chosen more for comfort than style since they had that cushy, lived-in look. There was an open staircase off to the left side, which snaked up and around the top floor, where she saw a set of four closed doors.

When he caught her looking, he answered her unasked question. “Upstairs I have my bedroom, office, gym, and playroom.”

She swallowed. “Playroom?” She knew he didn’t mean the kind outfitted with toys from Hasbro and Mattel.

His gaze grew sharp and electric, charging the air between them. She could feel it more than see it, but she had no doubt something was different about him. His cool, controlled exterior fell away, and she felt as though she was seeing the real man underneath for the first time.

“So, now that you’re here, we should cover some ground rules.”

“Ground rules?” she echoed, her body and brain playing a swift game of catch up.

“I know we went through your application together, but we need to finish going over each other’s hard and soft limits.”

“What are yours?” she asked. She figured it would annoy David for her to ask before she gave her answer, but challenging him was her way of starting the game.

I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.

She also wanted him to answer first because, even though she hadn’t been thinking it before, she was now a bit wary of exactly
what
he was into. Leave it to David to present her with an opportunity that made her equal parts excited and terrified.

“I’m not a classic Dominant, but in the beginning, I will still need to have some control over our scenes. So it may seem like I’m taking the top, but once you get the hang of things and we get more comfortable with one another’s signals, my need to take control of a scene will lessen.”

“Okay,” she responded on a whisper, absorbing what he’d said.

“And I’m not into anything that involves humiliation or heavy pain.”

She swallowed. Hard. “I still don’t even know what that even
means
.”

His expression softened, a smile turning the corner of his mouth up. “So ask.”

She reviewed in her head the list he’d just given her. Then her eyes widened. “You said you’re not into heavy pain. Does that mean you’re into moderate or light pain?”

“Yes,” he said immediately. “That’s exactly what that means. Is pain a hard limit for you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t imagine wanting someone to hurt me though.”

His thumb came up and brushed feather light across her bottom lip while his eyes scanned her face. It was like he was studying her, trying to memorize every line and curve.

“There’s a big difference between stubbing-your-toe pain and the kind of pain done to enhance pleasure. You need to be in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing. But it only works if you trust me.”

“I trust you. I wouldn’t be here, in your home, if I didn’t.”

He interlaced his fingers with hers. He gave her arm a gentle pull toward the stairs.

“You ready?” he asked, looking at her over his shoulder.

She swallowed, but managed to choke out, “Yeah.”

She following him up the stairs, every step sending pulses of nervous energy through her limbs, to the points of her nipples, and down between her legs. A single bead of perspiration rolled from her neck along the length of her spine, almost as if he had the power to arouse her body even though he was barely touching her.

He stopped in front of one of the doors. “Before we go in there, I need you to pick a safe word.”

“Oh…right…” She hesitated. “Um…I don’t know. How about…” She was stalling, her mind racing, trying to think of something. Then it came to her in a flash. “Disney.”

His eyebrows shot straight up. “Disney?”

“Yeah. That’ll work.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Wanna give me a peek inside that head of yours and tell me why Disney is your safe word?”

She looked to the side and sucked in her bottom lip. She knew she was going to tell him her reasoning, but she was debating
how
much to share. She’d learned through the years that less was better, because most couldn’t handle her whole truth.

But wasn’t that the point of this whole arrangement with David? She had to stop hiding what she wanted. From him. From herself. From everyone.

Yeah, well maybe so, but figuring out what I want from sex and a relationship didn’t mean I had to expose the
Jerry-Springer-Show
fiasco that was my childhood.

With that, she opted for the PG-13, Spark Notes version.

“So, I grew up in a small, piece of shit town. I never had a dad, and my mom, well, she did the best she could. Anyway, I’d say the only thing good about where I grew up was that it was a hop, skip, and a jump away from Walt Disney World. When I was old enough, I got a job there. I’d go there, dress up as Belle from
Beauty and the Beast
, and get to represent something good and clean and whole. And for a while that meant I was, too. In a twisted kind of way, that little touch of fantasy kept me safe, especially considering I never knew what was going to be waiting for me once I got home.” She let out a held breath, a bit dizzy, off-kilter just from that small slice of memory. “So that’s why I’m picking Disney as my safe word.”

She met his eyes and was taken aback at the warmth and affection she found there. Something was happening between them. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt significant. Important.

“Cass,” he practically growled. “You
are
clean and good—and we’re all struggling to become whole. I know the difference, and trust me, you have nothing to be ashamed of.” He held out his hand. “Okay?”

From anyone else, she wouldn’t have believed a word he’d said, but his tone and the look in his eyes let him know he believed what he’d said. And for now, maybe that was enough for her to believe it, too.

“Okay,” she said.

She took his hand and followed him into his playroom.

The room was cavernous, with floor to ceiling windows directly across from her. Along each wall were blond wood cabinets, closed, which were a few shades lighter than the bamboo floors. Suspended from various points in the ceiling were straps, some with wooden hoops attached, some not.

There were a couple of pieces of equipment as well, ones she didn’t recognize but felt safe in assuming weren’t for exercise. She did recognize one that was off to the side of the windows. It was a Saint Andrew’s cross that looked like a big X. In the other corner was a simple cushioned chair, the fabric a forgettable neutral color.

“This is where it’s going to happen for us,” he whispered roughly in her ear, while standing behind her, his body heat coming off of him in waves. She leaned her head back onto his shoulder, and he encircled his arms around hers. “I promise you, Cass, I’m going to make it so good for you. Always.”

Her heartbeat thundered through her like a freight train, barreling so hard that she wondered if he could feel it while holding her. Her mouth grew dry, and she desperately tried to swallow as her adrenalin spiked and made her hands shake.

He drew his brows together, grabbed her by the shoulders, and firmly pivoted her body around to face him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just nervous. Nervous and excited,” she said in a rush. “It…it’s all new to me. That’s all.”

His face softened, and he cradled the undersides of her face in his palms. “You know real BDSM isn’t like what they show in the movies, right?”

She nodded, giving a small smile.

“And when it comes to what happens in this room, between you and me, it’s not about me dominating you. It’s about you and me sharing power, sharing what gets us off.”

Her pulse began to slow down to a normal rhythm and the side of her mouth twitched in a smirk. “Yeah, that’s what you’ve said.”

His eyes grew heated as he stared at her mouth. “I think that means it’s time I stop talking and start showing.”

He lunged for her and seared her with the heat of his kiss. She opened for him, and God, she loved how his hands along her jawline became talons that bit into her soft flesh. Like he couldn’t get enough of her. Like he could eat her whole.