Bird Song (18 page)

“Maghreb-French, Madame
Hidani
.”

Satisfied—or defeated—she turned her back to me and started once again to go over today’s lesson.
 
I turned my head back to Robert and saw his wink, no matter how quickly he might have done it.
 
“Thank you,” I mouthed.

It was my pleasure.
 
It’s quite amusing, helping you cheat by giving you the answers.
 
I might have to do it more often.
 
He winked again, and then motioned to face the front of the class before we drew the attention of Madame
Hidani
once more.

When the bell rang to head to Calculus, I was overwhelmed by the crush of girls who surrounded Robert and I—well, mainly Robert—and I backed away towards the exit.
 
He could take care of himself, so I simply walked out of the door, fully intent on waiting there until he exited as well.
 
I should have known he’d be there already.

“Don’t you think that the girls will be suspicious that one minute you’re there, and the next, you’re not?” I asked as we walked hand in hand towards Mrs.
Hoppbakker’s
classroom.

“No.
 
Humans like to believe what they want, no matter what the facts staring them in the face might be telling them.
 
Besides, those girls were too busy sizing each other up to notice my departure.
 
You, on the other hand, never miss a thing.”
 
As we walked through the doorway of our math class, we were once again inundated by girls who were determined to ask Robert to the Valentine’s dance.

“Um, Robert…do you think you might be interested in going with me to the dance on Valentine’s day?” one girl named Jennifer Hall asked nervously.
 
I almost felt bad for her, knowing what his answer would be.
 
I say almost because as soon as she got the rejection she obviously had not been expecting, she shot me a look of pure venom.

“If you keep turning down girls, I might have to seriously start considering taking Stacy on as my personal bodyguard,” I kidded as he led us to our seats.

“Would you rather I tell them yes?”

“Well, what if you didn’t have to work that night.
 
Would you say yes to one of them?”

He reached forward to touch the loose strands of hair that had slipped free of my ponytail and smiled.
 
“Only if you asked.”

I rolled my eyes.
 
“Formal occasions aren’t my thing.”

He chuckled as he pushed my hair back, a soft sigh coming from his lips as he did so.
 
“You’re wrong.
 
They are so your thing.”

I raised my hand to adjust my hair and groaned as I realized he had fixed it for me.
 
And probably in a much neater, and tighter ponytail, too.
 
“Sure.
 
The last time I went to a formal thing, I ended up hurting my hand, got grounded, and you nearly broke up with me.”

His lips curled over his teeth as he hissed.
 
I winced—the sound of his disapproval seemed to be bouncing inside of my head, nicking my mind; it hurt.
 
His eyes grew wide and round as soon as he realized what had happened, his hands on my face, concern saturating his beautiful features.
 
I am so sorry, Grace.
 
I don’t know why this keeps happening.

I shook my head at his apology.
 
There was no need for it—he hadn’t intended to hurt me.
 
I knew that better than he probably did.

It doesn’t explain why it keeps happening though.
 
His eyes were filled with worry, and I nodded in agreement.
 
It didn’t explain why it kept happening, or what it meant.
 
His thoughts weren’t meant to be heard by me, but for whatever reason, I inexplicably had, and the result was painful.
 
It was a testament to my humanity, I suppose.

As class started, the confused and self-deprecating expression that seemed tattooed onto his face only grew harsher and darker.
 
I turned my attention to the day’s work, intent on asking him what he was thinking about as soon as the bell rang.

Instead, as we filed out of the classroom an hour later, he quickly handed me off to Stacy and left, mumbling something about not wanting to be late for third period.
 
I stood there dumbly staring after him, Stacy looking just as perplexed as I felt.

As Stacy and I walked towards the library for free period, I could still feel the mild tingling sensations in my head.
 
Stacy, seeing my frustrated appearance, asked what was wrong.
 
“I just have a headache,” I lied, and cringed as the slight twinges increased in significance.

“Oh, well maybe it’s math that did that.
 
Calculus always gives me a headache.”

I nodded, not wanting to say any more as we entered the library and headed towards our usual table.
 
It was a shock to see Lark sitting there alone, an obviously phony smile plastered on her face.
 
“What are you doing here?” I asked as we sat down.

“My British history class is here doing research on the King Henry VII, so I decided to wait for you two to get here so we can discuss what we’re doing on the fourteenth.”

I turned to look at Stacy whose face was suffused with a very intense blush—she looked nearly feverish.
 
“I have no plans, really.
 
Robert’s working that night.
 
What about you, Stacy?”

“Graham asked me to go to the dance with him.
 
I told him I’d think about it.”

Lark huffed.
 
At least, it sounded like a huff.
 
I turned to face her, and though she was smiling, I could see something else hidden behind it.
 
She began discussing her plans with Stacy, but I didn’t hear any of it.
 
Instead, my head filled with her voice that spoke about something completely different.

Graham called me up three nights ago to ask me what he should get for Stacy for Valentine’s day.
 
Can you believe that?

I blinked as her words registered with me.
 
Why would Graham feel the need to discuss Stacy with her?
 
What could he possibly have to talk about that wouldn’t be awkward and misleading in some way?

I asked him why he didn’t just ask you, since you’re his best friend.
 
He explained that I was closer to Stacy, that I would know better than you about what her likes and dislikes are.
 
I tried to tell him that that was absolute rubbish, but I couldn’t.
 
Apparently I’m closer to Stacy.

My face twitched in acknowledgement of that fact.
 
I highly doubted that had circumstances been different, Lark would have ever revealed to me that she was an angel.
 
I only knew about her by default, which hadn’t bothered me.
 
Until now.

Oh please don’t start feeling sorry for yourself, Grace
—
focus.
 
My entire existence has been focused on what you humans feel, what you humans think.
 
Let me have a moment for myself, will you?

Sheepishly, I nodded my head.
 
It didn’t go unnoticed by Stacy, whose eyes fixed in on my lack of communication.
 
I quickly started fidgeting with my hair, tugging at the strands that were now so neatly confined in an impossibly tight ponytail—courtesy of Robert.
 

“What are you thinking about, Grace?” she asked, not buying my sudden distraction for a minute.

My eyes flicked around as my mind raced for an explanation.
 
My hesitation only added to the obvious lie that soon spilled forth out of my mouth.
 
“I was just thinking about whether or not Robert would take off from work to take me to the dance.”

To my surprise, Stacy seemed to accept this explanation, and then began to question Lark about whether she knew if her brother was going to ask.
 
As Lark answered, more thoughts that weren’t my own filled my head.

You’re a lousy liar, Grace.
 
It’s no wonder
—
you’ve surrounded yourself with people who are all unfailingly honest.
 
Well
…
mostly.

I stopped a snort from coming out, knowing to whom she was referring.
 
Lying isn’t something I’m used to doing.
 
I hate doing it
—
even when it’s to help you and Robert.
 
I know it’s not the same thing, but lying hurts me, too.

Lark’s physical voice continued to discuss Valentine’s day with Stacy, but her mental voice, the voice that sounded so much clearer and defined in my mind grew soft.
 
I’m sorry that you feel you have to lie for us, Grace.
 
You’re not an
electus
patronus
—
you weren’t bred for this.
 
You shouldn’t have to be doing this for any of us
—
Robert included.
 
We’ve managed to exist without being discovered for centuries without your help.
 
We can continue to do so.

I pursed my lips in annoyance as her words settled into my head.
 
For someone who can read minds, you sure are obtuse, Lark.
 
I don’t lie
just
to protect you and Robert.
 
I also do it to protect myself and my interests.
 
I’m finally happy, for the most part, and I don’t want anything threatening my happiness.

“Grace, what do you think?
 
Do you think I should go to this dance?”

I turned to look at Stacy, her face earnest, the topic of discussion obviously having headed in a direction that had become less about partying and more about something else.
 
“That’s up to you, Stacy.”

She threw her hands up, exasperated at my half-hearted answer.
 
“You’re no help!
 
This is something major here—everyone in class has been talking about the “after” parties, and Graham being who he is will be expected to go.
 
If I say yes to him, I’ll be expected to go, too, and you know what happens at those parties.

Recognition finally dawned on me and I felt utterly stupid for giving her such an empty response.
 
Everyone, even anti-social me knew what happened at those parties.
 
They weren’t called baby-maker bashes for nothing.

“I think…you should say no, Stacy,” I answered, half-attempting to redeem myself, half-wanting to save both her and Graham from falling prey to the immense peer pressure that would be pressing on them should they go.

Lark nodded her head as she chimed in, “I think Grace is right.
 
You should tell him that you’ve got other plans.”

Stacy pondered our advice, leaving the table silent as Lark and I picked up where our conversation had left off.
 
Grace, there are times when it’s okay to be selfish, but never when it costs you a part of yourself.

My jaw jutted out in defiance.
 
Lying is what had kept the most important part of me safe; I would do whatever it took to keep Robert safe—he was far more important to this world than I was…far more important to me than anything that I might “lose” as a result.

Do you really believe that?

I didn’t have to say anything for her to know that I did.
 
She had never spent a moment of her life as a human being, with the human emotions that separated us in ways her immortality and her abilities didn’t; she would never understand.

Good grief, you’re far more naïve than I thought.
 
Grace, do you believe that losing the trust of people you care about because of your lying is worth it?
 
The
electus
, they don’t need to lie to their family because the
electus
is
their family.
 
They are born into that life, it’s chosen for them.
 
You’ve chosen this for yourself, and the consequences might not be something you can accept.

There was some truth to her words, I knew that the moment they began to fill my head.
 
I simply couldn’t accept them, though.
 
The lying I had been doing was minor, even if it hurt me to do it, and I knew my dad—knew that even Graham would forgive me for doing it if it meant protecting someone far greater than any of us combined.

“Okay, it’s settled then.
 
I’m not going.”
 
Stacy’s voice jostled me from my thoughts, and I turned to smile at her nervously.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to turn Graham down.
 
I’d rather hang out with you guys than go to some silly dance.
 
I mean, we’ve only been dating a month; that’s too soon,” she continued.