Bird Song (7 page)

The lull of sleep felt strangely appealing, and I closed my eyes in defeat.
 
“Cheater,” I mumbled, knowing that it had nothing to do with genuine exhaustion, but something else completely.

I love you.

“…love you, back.”

I woke up on New Year’s Eve feeling strangely relaxed and content.
 
Robert’s still form beneath me had a lot to do with it, but something else felt different.
 
I looked at the morning light streaming through the window, at the dust motes that seemed to sparkle as they emerged from the shadows to dance in the sunshine, and I felt a glowing warmth spread through me, while my mouth curled up, the corners of my mouth tipping towards the peaks of my cheeks.

What’s the smile for?

I looked up into Robert’s silver eyes and allowed the smile full access to a grin.
 
“I don’t know, but I feel…good—like something good is about to happen.”

I stretched to rid myself of the tenseness in my body—sleeping against something that felt like a metal beam could get uncomfortable after a while.
 
I tilted my head down to check the time on the clock that was sitting on my dresser, and I groaned at the hour.
 
“It’s already eight,” I complained, and rolled over towards the bedroom door.
 
“Everyone’s eating breakfast already—Graham’s probably eating mine, too.”

I suddenly remembered that Graham had come into the room last night.
 
“Oh no.
 
Graham!
 
What must he be thinking?”

Robert’s face lit up as now, after the sun had risen and the fog of sleep had cleared from my mind, I was fully aware of what had happened.
 

Vindicated.
 
Robert was feeling vindicated.

“Stop gloating,” I growled as I climbed out of the bed and walked to the dresser.
 
I began pulling out the prerequisite jeans and t-shirt and stopped as something on my hand caught my attention.
 
On the fourth finger of my right hand sat the ring that Robert had given to me for my birthday.
 
It was meant to remind me of him while he was away, he had told me.
 
Dark blue with a brilliant white star that was only visible when you looked at it directly, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

But today, the star was missing.
 
“Robert…is the star supposed to disappear?”

Although I had left him lying on the bed, he was there before the question had even left my lips, my hand in his, his keen eyes scrutinizing the silver wrapped stone on my finger.
 
It’s not supposed to
…
I don’t understand.

Rarely is an angel ever confused.
 
You figure that out quite quickly after knowing one.
 
They can read the minds of those around them, and some even have the ability to see into the future.
 
So to see confusion on Robert’s face wasn’t comforting in the least.

“What?” I asked, making a mental note to pick up my thesaurus and figure out a different word to use the next time I needed to ask a question using only one word.

I don’t fully understand the chemical makeup of gems, Grace, so I’m truly at a loss when it comes to explaining why the star is no longer visible.
 
The inclusions don’t just disappear, or fall out.

“The inclusions?”

Yes.
 
It’s what makes up the star.
 
Every stone has inclusions in it, but they’re usually cut away so that you don’t see them in the final product.
 
Star sapphires are unique in that the inclusions are what makes them so beautiful, while in other stones, it makes them flawed.
 
They’re what the stars are comprised of.
 
To not see any…

I walked over to the sunlight that now fully poured through my window and held my hand out in the warm light.
 
The stone, while beautiful, now appeared naked—uncomfortably bare without the six-armed splendor that had represented Robert’s divine nature far better than anything else ever could.
 
What would I do now that it was gone?

The knock on my door startled me, and before I could answer, it opened, and Janice walked in, a plate balanced in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other.
 
“Graham said you might not be feeling up to coming down for breakfast, so I brought it up to you.
 
Are you okay?”

My head whipped to where Robert had been standing just seconds before, and felt immense relief that he had managed to disappear before Janice had walked in.
 
It wouldn’t bode well for me if two people walked in on us together.

“I’m feeling okay.
 
I was planning on coming down in a few minutes.”
 
I pointed to my clothes that I had left on top of the dresser, and smiled apologetically.

Janice took everything in without missing a beat, and placed the plate and bottle on the nightstand next to the bed.
 
She walked over to me and took my hand, examining the ring in the same manner as Robert had just moments earlier.

“This is a beautiful ring, Grace.
 
I don’t recall you wearing it before.
 
When did you get this?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Robert gave it to me for Christmas; it’s his birthstone,” I rambled quickly, being very careful not to let a stammer of nervousness break through.

Janice nodded her head, her lower jaw sticking out in the same way a disapproving mother’s would.
 
“At least it’s on your right hand.”

I giggled nervously.
 
“Of course.
 
It’s way too early to be thinking about lifetime commitments.”

I felt something tickle my ankle and I quickly lowered my eyes to the floor and choked back a gasp.
 
Small wisps of black mist were curling around my feet.
 
Robert hadn’t left…he was hiding under my bed, and if Janice were to look down, she’s swear there was a fire beneath my mattress…

I quickly raised my eyes to hers and grinned like a fool.
 
“So, I’ll get dressed and we can talk about this downstairs?”

Janice shook her head and patted the bed.
 
Oh-no.
 
This didn’t look good.
 
“I think you and I need to talk about a few things, Grace.”

Damnit.
 
Damn-damn-damn that Graham and his big mouth.
 
Damn that blond haired jock and his inability to keep his mouth shut.
 

“About what?”
 
I sat down at the very edge of the bed, teetering on the verge of completely falling off both the bed and sanity.

“Grace, I know you’re legally an adult now.
 
I know that you’re very responsible, but there’s something that…well…gosh, this is difficult.
 
I want to know what you know about sex.”

I felt the blush rise in my cheeks, and I giggled nervously.
 
It wasn’t the giggle of an experienced eighteen year-old, I could tell that right away and, thankfully, so could Janice.
 
“I know that I haven’t had any, and I won’t be having any for a while either,” I answered truthfully after the nervous laughter receded.

Janice’s face held a look of disbelief.
 
“Well.
 
I assumed that with how close you and Robert have become, especially so quickly…I’d understand if you’ve moved onto that stage-”

“Janice, I know what you’re trying to get at, but please believe me when I say that Robert and I are taking things slowly.
 
Very slowly.
 
Almost too slowly.”
 
I felt the tickle around my ankle once more and wished I had a vacuum at that moment…being sucked through a HEPA filter would do him a world of good…

“Well, I think that’s good, Grace.
 
You’re young, you’ve got a bright future ahead of you—you don’t want to move too quickly on something that might only be a fleeting part of your life,” Janice said, her smile sincere, as she reached for my hand.

I snatched it out of hers roughly.
 
Her words hadn’t been meant to hurt, but they did, and I didn’t like the way that made me feel.
 
“Janice, Robert isn’t going anywhere, and neither am I.
 
What we have isn’t fleeting.
 
He’s going to be a permanent part of my life, just as permanent as you are in Dad’s.”

I saw her smile fade a little as she allowed my words to sink in.
 
“Grace, please tell me you haven’t started to think about a future with him.
 
It’s too soon!”

I swallowed down the bitterness and replied calmly, “I’m not talking about us getting married, Janice.
 
But, I don’t know…maybe in a few years that might happen.
 
But even if it doesn’t, Robert will still be a part of my life.”

Janice once again reached for my hand, and this time held it firmly between hers, unwilling to allow me to pull away again.
 
“Grace, you’ve got to understand that I’m only asking you about this because I care about you.
 
Your father told me that he hadn’t talked about any of this with you, and I don’t want you to make any foolish and avoidable mistakes.”

I understood what her reasons were, but I knew that my life wasn’t meant to follow the same path that every other girl that lived in Heath’s would.
 
Robert entering my life had proved that.

I looked back at the ring on my finger and felt the need to ask the question…
 
“Janice, what would you say if Robert said that he wanted things to be permanent between the two of us?”

Janice’s face expressed a look of shock and alarm.
 
Me and my big mouth.
 
“Why, Grace?
 
Are you actually considering it?
 
Did he ask you to marry him?”
 
Her thumb pressed the ring on my finger into my skin, and I could feel the circulation begin to cut off.

“No, Janice, he didn’t ask me to marry him, but judging by your reaction, I can see that it wouldn’t exactly be a good thing if he had.”
 
I knew that though my question had more to do with Robert’s desire to make my life more permanent in the literal sense, she had taken it figuratively, and the ramifications were now starting to rain down on my head as she stood up and began to pace the small space between the wall housing my window and my bed.

“He’s a nice boy, Grace, and I’m very glad that he’s in your life, but I think this is all moving a bit too fast for you.
 
You only just turned eighteen.
 
You’re still in high school.
 
Who knows what will happen when the two of you graduate and head off to college.

“And what’ll your dad think?
 
You’re his only daughter.
 
He already thinks you two spend far too much time together as it is, and now with Graham here, what’s Robert gonna think?
 
What will he feel he needs to do to keep your eyes on him?”

I coughed as a bubble of laughter tried to break through.
 
“Janice,” I began, but was instantly cut off by her continued argument.

“Robert’s not from here, Grace.
 
He grew up in Europe.
 
Ameila and I had a long conversation about his childhood.
 
Europe has different ideas about relationships and sex.
 
They’re much more open there, much more…free.
 
I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to.
 
I know you said that you’re taking things slowly, but what if he doesn’t want to?
 
What if-”

I’d had enough.
 
She was speaking about Robert like he was some hormonally driven teenager.
 
I wish!

“Janice, could you stop?
 
Please?” I interrupted, upset—not at the fact that she was right, but because she was so wholly and unequivocally wrong.
 
“Robert isn’t the one wanting to rush things.
 
I
am.
 
When I said that we’re taking things slow, I meant that
he’s
taking things slow.”
 
I stared down at the ground and saw the fading mist pull back beneath my bed.
 
“He won’t even kiss me without me putting up a fight.
 
Sometimes it feels like he’s allergic to me or something, and he doesn’t want to get a rash.”

Janice stared at me, stunned by my little revelation.
 
“You…”

“Yes, me.
 
I’m the one who’s pressuring him!
 
So you see why you have nothing to worry about?”

She nodded her head slowly, as though any quick and sudden movements would contradict the act itself.
 
She had seen the disappointment in my eyes, and heard the rejection in my tone; she knew I wasn’t just telling her this to get her off my back.