Birthday Vicious (12 page)

“What do you think?” asked Sadie, as Étienne unwrapped one square of tinfoil to show Lauren the developing color.

“Nice,” said Lauren, as her phone buzzed again. Maybe Christian was here already and wanted her to
come outside. Her mother intimidated him, and Lauren thought he might be annoyed by Trudy's occasional habit of calling him “Chrissy.” She picked up her phone and checked the message, trying to disregard Sadie's pout.

R U AROUND?

Oh no.

It was Alex.

2 L8–GOING OUT
, she texted back frantically. The last thing she needed was Alex dropping by while Christian was here. This house was big, but not big enough for two boyfriends wanting her undivided attention. Her mother knew what was going on and was even secretly proud.

Sadie would probably think she was kind of slutty, trying to have two relationships at once. Maybe she was kind of slutty. But there wasn't time to worry about that now!

DEX SEZ UR HERE.

Yikes! Lauren felt her face sizzling. Alex was obviously outside in the driveway, chatting with Dex. Didn't Dex have work to do? Computer work that involved being inside? He'd probably let Alex in the gate and blabbed that she was in there, hanging out with a friend. Christian was going to be here any minute. What was she going to do?

“Lauren!” Her mother's singsong voice rang out on the intercom, a recent addition to her room. Trudy said she was tired of sending text messages to Lauren every time she wanted to tell her something, so now they had a bothersome intercom system. “Christian's at the door, honey.”

“Coming,” she croaked. This was the worst possible news. How was she going to get out of this disaster?

“Who's Christian?” asked Sadie, looking up from her magazine. Lauren's head was spinning too fast to answer the question.

“Just stay here—I won't be long,” she mumbled, racing out of her room and along the hallway. She had to get there as quickly as possible, to drag Christian out of sight before Alex arrived. But hang on—wasn't Alex already there, chewing the fat with Dex in the driveway? Lauren's Olympic-speed slowed to a crawl. There wasn't any point in rushing if all she was rushing into was a whole heap of trouble.

Trudy was hovering in the glass-fronted front lobby; Lauren could see her from the end of the second hallway. Her mother looked bemused and excited, the way she always did when Christian or Alex came over, as though she was delighted to have a daughter who was
so popular and grown-up all of a sudden.
Too
popular, thought Lauren glumly, dragging herself the final few feet toward the lobby. Trudy's mouth opened and closed; she stared at Lauren and shook her head. What?

Lauren rounded the corner, her heart thudding, into the sun-filled, marble-floored lobby. And there they were.

Christian. And Alex. Chatting.
Laughing.

“I'll get chef to bring out some lemonade,” Trudy decided, flapping off in the direction of the kitchen. For a split second Lauren thought about grabbing her, begging her to stay. But it was too late. Her mother had gone, and she was alone with her boyfriends. Make that ex-boyfriends. The two of them had figured it out, right?

But what was so funny?

“Hey, there you are,” Christian drawled. “What's up?”

“I just came over to drop off your Latin book—you left it the other day,” Alex said, handing over the thick textbook. “Thanks for all the help. I'd stay, but my mom's already annoyed I'm not home in time for her paella. See you, Chris. Later, Lauren.” Then he disappeared into the backseat of his parents' Mercedes and drove away.

“I didn't know you knew Alex,” Christian said.

“Yeah . . . we, uh . . . I tutor him in Latin.” Lauren shrugged. “How do you know him?” she asked, as her phone started to ring with the melody of Katy Perry's “Birthday,” Ashley's favored ringtone for her birthday-party countdown. Whatever Ashley wanted, it could wait. Lauren forwarded it to voice mail.

“We play in the same lacrosse league,” said Christian. “But his team sucks.” He grinned.

Lauren nodded. Of course it would make sense that the two of them would know each other. She would have to tread carefully, but it seemed as if her nightmare scenario had not come to pass. They didn't know! They hadn't figured it out! Had she really gotten away with it this time? It appeared so.

“Do you want to come in?”

Christian shook his head. “Nah, I was just in the area and thought I'd say hi.” He ruffled her hair. “You look cute in your uniform. But I should go. My dad gets mad when I miss his night with us. Anyway, shouldn't you get that?” he asked, meaning her phone, which had begun to ring again.
I'll be your gift . . .
She hit ignore again and sentenced the call to voice mail.

“Bye.” Lauren nodded, smiling and stepping into his
arms. “You look cute too.” She gave Christian a quick kiss, since she could hear Dex out in the graveled driveway, calling to them and laughing. She was going to get teased so badly on the way to school tomorrow. She'd rather catch a bus than listen to one of Dex's lectures about her dental work again.

She waved Christian away as he walked down the hill, feeling more relieved than anything.

*  *  *

“Who was that guy out there?” Sadie asked, when Lauren returned to her bedroom. Étienne was wielding a hair dryer, making final adjustments and fluffing up his masterpiece. Lauren was impressed. Sadie looked like she could be on the cover of a magazine. At least, her hair did.

“What guy?” asked Lauren.

“The dark-haired one? He's a total hottie.”

“Oh, that's Alex,” Lauren told her, as her phone began to ring again, but Katy Perry didn't sing this time. She held her breath to see if it was Alex, wondering what on earth Christian was doing at her house, or Christian, calling to say he had figured it out and was breaking up with her. But it was just Ashley again. Calling from her home line this time.

Sadie looked in the mirror and studied her new look. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Lauren nodded, not bothering to explain the two-guys scenario. “Can you excuse me?” she told Sadie, taking the phone into the other room. She had to take the call. Even though Lauren was plotting the end of her reign, Ashley Spencer was still not someone she could afford to brush off for very long.

ASHLEY HAD NEWS, AND WHEN
Ashley had news it could not wait. It required an all-Ashleys conference call, run from the nerve center of the entire operation—her four-poster bed. She'd already wasted ten minutes trying to track everyone down, because apparently everyone was too busy with their own unimportant little lives to help Ashley in her hour of need.

Lili was annoyed because she was about to meet Max to go over last-minute details about their camping trip, A. A. was at home playing video games, and Lauren had yet to pick up the phone—Ashley had spotted her leaving school with Sadie Graham, of all people, but she was too upset right then to deal with
that information, because this was a true emergency.

In fact, this was the worst crisis in her entire almost thirteen years of life—much worse than the cancellation of
Preteen Queen
, and much worse than getting dumped by Tri. The first she could pretend she didn't care about, and the second she could lie about. But not this!

This was going to go public. There was
no way
this could be covered up. Ashley flung herself on the bed, speed-dialing each number over and over. The Ashleys had to be the first to know.

“What is it?” Lili demanded. “Max just told me not to forget to buy something called ‘deet.' Does anyone even know what that is?”

“It's bug spray. Anyway, Ash, if this is about your party, can it wait until tomorrow?” A. A. moaned. “I'm kind of not in the mood.”

“Hello?” Lauren had picked up finally! “What's up? Make it fast, because Étienne gets annoyed when I answer the phone—”

“WILL YOU ALL PLEASE LISTEN!” Ashley shrieked. It was always me, me, me with these girls. “I have some
terrible
news.”

“The party's off?” Lili asked, shocked.

“No!”

“You can't get the StripHall Queens? Bummer.” That was A. A., of course.

“No!”

“Your parents won't let you invite the whole grade?” asked Lauren. “Maybe I could come talk to them and explain how—”

“BE QUIET!” Ashley roared. “It's not about the party, okay? It's about me. Me and my parents!”

“They're getting
divorced 
!” cried Lili, and then there was a clunk like she'd dropped the phone.

“They are so not getting divorced, thank you very much!” Ashley was indignant.

“But your dad's left? Is that it?” A. A. sounded distracted. “Don't worry about it. My dad left, and it's more fun. Plus, he feels so guilty he buys the best Christmas presents. And sometimes Ned's dad sends us random things out of the blue, like that guitar signed by all the members of Imagine Dragons. Although sometimes the presents aren't that great, like one time he sent us an Ab Roller and we had to give it to the maid.”

“Daddy isn't going
anywhere
,” Ashley fumed. “Would you please all stop talking and listen?”

“Sorry, Ashley,” said Lauren. That was more like it.
Ashley sat up on the bed, legs crossed, phone gripped in trembling fingers.

“My mother,” she began, not sure she had the strength to go on. She swallowed. “My mother . . .”

“Has cancer?”

“Is having an affair?”

“Isn't your real mother?”

“MY MOTHER IS PREGNANT!” Ashley shrieked. There was total silence from the other Ashleys. At last, some respect! “My parents just told me. They're all ecstatic about it. They think it's the greatest thing ever!”

“Well,” said Lauren slowly, “it could be worse.”

“My little sisters are really cute,” Lili chimed in. “They let me dress them up like dolls. And your parents'll get a nanny, so it's not like you'll have to clean up after them.”

“Are you even listening?” This was not the sympathy Ashley was expecting. Her friends weren't focusing on the key issue: What would people say when they heard this embarrassing news? Wasn't her mother way too old?

This new baby meant that her life as she knew it was essentially over. Ashley loved being an only child.
Loved
it. If—when—her mother had another child, how could she still get all the adoration, affection, and attention she
was used to? How would her mother have any energy left to focus on Ashley's needs—her clothes, her social life, her birthday parties—when there was a crying baby in the house?

“Is your party still on?” Lauren seemed anxious.

“It better be,” muttered Ashley, pulling a down-filled pillow over her face. She'd only just managed to get her party reinstated to its grand heights of fabulosity after her parents saw the new guest list, and Ashley told them it had to be huge because Miss Gamble's practically dictated it. Her parents better not even think of trying cancellation
part deux
. This baby was already wreaking havoc on her life!

LILI LAY ON THE COLD,
hard ground listening to the rain pattering on the tent and—even worse—listening to Jezebel and Cassandra giggling about a trick they were planning to play on the boys in the morning. She wasn't really paying attention, but apparently it involved slopping mud into their boots.
Real
mature. If this was camping heaven, then Lili would rather be in hell.

Up on Mount Tam, rain had been falling for most of the afternoon, pretty much ever since Cassandra's dad dropped them off in the public parking lot, telling them to be sure to find a dry spot to pitch their tents. Good advice!

There was no way
her
father would have just dumped them there and driven off. Even though Lili's parents were strict and overprotective, at least they actually cared about their children's welfare. Whereas Cassandra's dad just seemed like he was in a hurry to get back to his pottery wheel or whatever it was he did in his “crafted art” studio.

They'd hiked for two hours to get to the campsite near the river, stumbling over rocks and surrounded by swirling mist. Max had spent more time talking to Jason and Quentin than paying attention to Lili, even when she was almost bent double under the weight of her heavy pack.

It reminded her of the documentary her mother had made her watch about the Long March through China, though at least her feet weren't bound—just crammed into ugly boots. The only thing that cheered her up was seeing Cassandra with mascara streaked down her ghostly pale face.

There wasn't much to feel cheerful about as darkness descended. Their remote campsite wasn't picturesque in any way. Even the river was ugly—wide and muddy, swollen with rain. It was nearly winter, hello! Whose idea was it to go camping now? She had to bunk with
the two other girls in a tiny tent, after a disgusting meal of uncooked baked beans, straight from the can, and some soggy slices of bread, eaten standing up.

“Sorry it's too wet to get a fire going,” Max apologized, looking cute with his hair wet from the rain.

“It's okay,” Lili assured him, knowing Cassandra and Jezebel were more than happy to suffer if it meant Lili was suffering too. Suffering
more
, in fact, because she wasn't used to this. How was this supposed to be fun, exactly?

There were so many other bad things about camping, and as Lili lay in her sleeping bag, pretending to be asleep so she wouldn't have to join in their withering conversation about kids at Reed Prep—or Whiner Junior High, as she liked to think of it—Lili counted them in her mind.