Authors: Lilas Taha
Everyone climbed up the stairs to Nadia's apartment, Marwan a considerable distance behind the girls.
Mama opened the door. â
Alhamdullilah.
What took you so long?' She took in Nadia's strange appearance. âHuda called from the hospital about an hour ago. Said you were on your way here.'
âMy fault.' Rihab placed her hands on her sisters' shoulders. âI made Marwan promise to come back home as soon as he dropped everyone off at the hospital. I was worried. It's a mess out there. How is Fatimah?'
âBetter. The baby too. Fatimah might spend the rest of her pregnancy in bed, I'm afraid.' Mama held Nadia by the arms. âWhat happened to you?'
âI'll explain later,' Nadia whispered. âWe should thank Marwan for his help.'
âWhere is he?'
âBehind us on the stairs,' Rihab said.
Mama pushed Rihab aside and craned her neck out the door. âCome up, Marwan,' she called out.
Marwan hurried his steps.
âPlease, come in, come in.' Mama gestured toward the living room. âThis whole business is so upsetting. I asked Shareef to take Sameera to her family. I couldn't handle more of her crying. He should be back any minute now.'
Salma and Farah came in. They greeted Marwan's younger sisters with enthusiasm.
Nadia ran into her room, changed her dress and shoes and came back out with Rihab's skirt in a plastic bag.
âWe need to get going.' Marwan took the bag from her hands. âI have to check on my store. Need anything? Do you have enough candles? Bread?'
âWe have enough.' Mama held Marwan's right hand with both of hers. âI don't know what would have happened to Fatimah if it were not for you. Thank you.'
âNo need. No need.'
âCan the girls stay for a bit?' Mama added with a hopeful smile. âWe could use some distraction.'
Marwan's eyes met Rihab's. He raised his eyebrows. She nodded.
It reminded Nadia of the way Omar checked with Fatimah before making a decision. Shareef never did that with her or any of their sisters. A stab of jealousy mingled with shame in Nadia's chest. When would Omar come home?
Marwan headed for the door. âI'll be back in a couple of hours.'
Nadia followed him. âI'm thankful for all your help.' She opened the door.
âLet me know when Fatimah is ready to go home. I'll be happy to drive.' Marwan stepped out and almost ran into Shareef.
Shareef darted his eyes back and forth between them. âDrive her where?' He thrust his chin toward Marwan. âWhat are you doing here?'
âDropping off your sister.' Marwan squared his shoulders and inflated his chest, his stance combative.
âThe hell you were.' Shareef's voice gained momentum.
Nadia grabbed Shareef's arm. âCome, meet Marwan's sisters. We all just got here.' She pulled Shareef into the house. Before she closed the door, her eyes connected with Marwan's. He broke into a wide smile with a âtold-you-so' expression clear on his face.
Late that afternoon, Marwan dropped flat on his bed. He rubbed exhaustion out of his eyes, telling himself he would rest for ten minutes
before heading out again. He had spent most of the day at the military hospital, distributing supplies and talking to injured soldiers. He had tried to lift their spirits, but the reality they all faced couldn't be downplayed. They had lost their healthy bodies, many of their friends, their pride and, most importantly, they had lost the war. Nevertheless, Marwan had tried his best to tell them they were welcome back, that the real culprits of this catastrophic failure would be held accountable. Words had bounced off the walls and landed void of real meaning on the soldiers' bandaged bodies. Marwan had kept at it, thinking that if he repeated his words enough times, he too might believe them.
He had asked about his cousin and Omar. One of the soldiers, blinded with a long scar across his face, told him he had heard Omar's name mentioned before he was transferred from Quneitra, the closest military hospital behind the Golan Heights retreat line.
Still on his back, Marwan checked his watch. Close to five. He should call Shareef to let him know the news, offer to take him on the two-hour drive. Setting the tension between them aside, he had no doubt Shareef would want to see Omar.
Rihab entered his room carrying a food tray. âYou're not going anywhere before you eat something.'
Ever since they lost their parents, Rihab had taken the role of a mother, taking care of his younger sisters and running the household, leaving him to mind their father's business. She set the tray on his desk and sat next to him.
âCan't you wait until tomorrow to go? You look terrible.'
âI'll be fine.' He stretched his arms over his head and arched his back.
âWhat is this?' Rihab pulled out the blue ribbon from his shirt pocket.
Springing upright, Marwan snatched the ribbon from her hand.
âIt's a girl's hair ribbon. Nadia's?' Rihab's voice lacked the compassionate tone he was used to hearing.
âIs it? I found it in the car.' He tried to sound truthful.
âShe thought she lost it in the street. I'm sure it's hers.'
Marwan rubbed the ribbon between his fingers a few times. He placed it on his nightstand. âReturn it to Nadia next time you see her.' He kept his eyes cast down like a boy caught hiding his sister's doll under his blanket.
âI'm not the one who found it.' Rihab pushed off the bed. âIf anyone should return it, it should be you.' She walked to the door and turned on her heels. âI doubt she will miss it.'
Marwan lifted his eyes. Rihab stared at him with such intensity he thought she might x-ray his chest to get to his heart. She knew. His sister knew he intended to keep the ribbon and she was giving him permission.
âYou like Nadia, don't you?'
Marwan nodded, too self-conscious to say anything under his sister's scrutiny.
âEnough to think about a future with her?'
He jumped to his feet. âWhat else?'
âIf that's the case, you should smooth things over with Shareef.' Rihab's tone returned to its usual warmth. âHe's the one with the final say. You must know that?'
Marwan cleared his throat.
âI'll pave the way with Huda. When you're ready.'
He strode over to give his sister a hug. âThank you,' he whispered. âAs soon as things calm down and it's decent enough to think of such matters. After Omar comes home.'
Rihab left, closing the door behind her. He chose a book from his desk and tucked the ribbon between the pages, letting the end dangle to create a bookmark.
Â
âI know you resent me, Shareef.' Marwan tried to cut through the thick tension hanging inside the car. An hour had passed since they left for Quneitra. Marwan's nerves burned with every cigarette Shareef inhaled, blowing smoke like a steam engine. âCan't you understand I did what I did to protect you?'
âYou followed Omar's orders.' Shareef flicked his cigarette butt out the window. âYeah, I understand.'
Marwan let the snide remark pass. Work things out with Shareef, Rihab had advised. âLook, we all do things we regret.' Marwan subdued his tone. âYou're an educated man, a university man. I haven't finished high school. Did the best I could with what I know.' There, enough hot air to launch the pompous ass to the moon.
A slow smile spread across Shareef's face. He lit another cigarette. âGo on.'
âI don't know in what shape we will find Omar.' Marwan tried to bury his irritation. âFor his sake, can't we leave what happened behind us?'
Shareef tilted his head upward, put his lips together and puffed, working his lower jaw like a fish out of water. Rings of smoke floated in Marwan's face. âYeah, all right. Let's move forward.' He waved his hand. Ashes from the cigarette between his fingers scattered in the air. âI'll consider this an apology then?'
Marwan gritted his teeth. So that was how the stupid man wanted to see it? How could this fool have a sister as sweet and sensitive as Nadia? He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.
Smooth things over, smooth things over, Rihab's voice kept repeating in his head. He gave Shareef a curt nod and mumbled under his breath, âRight.'
Marwan and Shareef followed a uniformed male nurse down a long hallway in the small hospital. Pieces of chipped paint dangled from the walls. Cone-shaped light fixtures hung from the ceiling, casting the hallway with yellow light. They passed rooms on either side. Moans drifted from several rooms, making Marwan conscious of the scuffing sound his shoes made. Approaching the main hall, screams mingled with the moans.
With wide eyes, Shareef took one step back and cowered behind Marwan.
The hall housed twelve beds, six on either side of a narrow walkway. Over-sized windows provided ample breeze. Flies buzzed around the ceiling light fixtures. The iron beds showed rust stains on their headboards. A white mesh tent shrouded a bed in the far corner. The nurse headed toward that bed. Marwan tried to make eye contact and nodded a quick greeting to the soldiers, those who were able to see him.
The nurse stopped a couple of steps short of the shrouded bed and pointed with his hand.
âSecond Lieutenant Omar Bakry. Don't have him flip on his back. He must remain in that position.' The nurse turned on his heels and left to tend a soldier at the other end of the hall.
Marwan was about to part the dangling mesh, but a soft groan stopped him short. It came from Omar, laying on his right side, his back to them. Leaving Shareef in his spot, Marwan walked around to face Omar. He entered the mesh tent.
Omar's eyes were shut tight, eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched. Beads of sweat collected on his creased forehead. A blanket stretched up to his neck.
Marwan couldn't see what kind of injury Omar had suffered. âOmar,' he whispered. âCan you hear me? It's Marwan.'
Omar groaned again, more like a long deep moan.
Marwan signaled for Shareef to come around to his side. âShareef is here too.'
Shareef entered the mesh enclosure. âCan you open your eyes?' He mimicked Marwan's hushed voice.
Omar released another agonizing moan. His eyes remained shut.
Shareef touched Omar's shoulder. âWake up.' He patted him.
A scream exploded from Omar. Shareef stumbled back and out of the white enclosure. More screams followed, heart-wrenching, hair-raising screams.
The nurse came running. He fumbled with a syringe, pulled the blanket off Omar and injected him in his backside. âYou will sleep soon.'
Marwan couldn't believe his eyes. Omar's entire body was bandaged. Spots of blood seeped through in places on his left side and back. The stench of urine mixed with blood hit Marwan with a wave of nausea. He grabbed the iron headboard to steady himself.
Shareef put a fist to his mouth, walked backwards a few steps, then turned around and ran out of the hall.
The nurse adjusted pillows behind Omar's back to keep him from turning over. âIf I had known your friend was going to act like a girl, I wouldn't have let him in.'
âWas that morphine?' Marwan swallowed to keep his stomach in check.
âHe's in tremendous pain. We keep him sedated.' The nurse straightened, pulling the blanket over Omar. âThere's no point for you to stay. He won't come to any time soon. Let's go.'
Marwan exhaled. âCan you please change him first?'
âI'm alone here. He's a big man. Can't do it by myself. I have to wait for morning nurses to do it.'
The short, stout nurse sounded offended, but Marwan didn't care. He wasn't leaving until his friend was tended. âI will help you. I've been volunteering at the military hospital in Damascus.' Marwan reached into his pants pocket and extracted a roll of bills. âI know what to do.' He raised his eyebrows at the nurse, a silent question mixed with an invitation. Marwan didn't mind going that route. Hospitals were understaffed and overcrowded. Nurses did their best, but some needed incentives.
The nurse took the money out of Marwan's hand and tucked it in his pocket. âThese will buy cigarettes for the healthier patients.' He went to a cabinet and came back with a stack of medical supplies.
Marwan helped maneuver Omar's body, trying to be as gentle as he could, while the nurse changed his dressings and soiled clothes.
âWhat happened to him?'
âAn exploding tank shell sprayed his body with shrapnel. His comrades said he waited to the last minute, providing cover for his men to withdraw.' The nurse shook his head. âNever seen an injury like that before. His body is like a sieve. He's strong, though. Doctors extracted most of the shrapnel.'
âMost?'
âA couple pieces are next to his heart. He must regain his strength before going under the knife.'
They tucked Omar under clean covers and turned to find Shareef standing at the entrance of the hallway, watching them. They passed him on the way to the front room.
Following, Shareef addressed the nurse, âWhen will he get transferred to Damascus?'
âDon't know. It's up to the doctor. My guess, not for a long while.'
âIt isn't easy to visit him here.' Shareef shuffled his feet where he stood. âI've got classes in the morning and then work.'
âI can make it,' Marwan interjected. âEvery evening.'
The nurse wrote in a big register. âNot sure the other nurses will allow you to help like I did.'
Marwan tossed the car keys to Shareef. âGive me a minute, will you?'
Shareef didn't ask why. Showing his eagerness to leave, he almost stumbled on a wastebasket on his way out.
Marwan placed his hands flat on the desk the nurse sat at. âWhen does your shift start?'
âSix. I'm here every day except Fridays.'
âI will be here after six then. What's your name, my friend?'