Bitter Fruits (8 page)

“No. No one can touch me here. The punishment is too great,” he says. For the first time, his voice reveals something I was not sure he
possessed: sorrow and loneliness.

“The Mark of Cain,” I
say, the darkness and misery of the myth finally settling on me. This is not a game and Alec and Caleb, as human and normal as they appear, are part of something that is dangerous and terrifying.

“It is my reminder, my curse,” he says and replaces his shirt. He sits back down and I
am torn between going to him, holding him and offering him comfort, or running from the cabin and never looking back. Alec appears behind me and his arms reach around me, releasing the fear from me as they hold me close. I sense that he knows about my complicated feelings for his brother, but he says nothing.

“It’s getting late and we need to get moving. I’ll go; one of us should stay here to protect Nora,” Alec says.

“Why don’t you stay?” I ask. I want to argue that I don’t need protection but, after seeing Caleb’s back, I think perhaps I do. However, Caleb is not what I have in mind and my attraction to him is likely more of a risk than any curse. I don’t know how to express this to Alec, but I fear being alone with Caleb. It’s a delicious fear, an undeniable urgency; it is a threat to everything sacred.

“No. I need to go,” Alec says. “It’s what’s best.”

“I don’t understand,” I say.

“There are pieces that need to fall into place, questions that need answering. Besides, I have the cloak of night as well as your trust. If my brother took weeks to return, would you have faith he was still looking?” Alec asks.

“Well, no, but you won’t be gone weeks, will you?”

“I’ll be gone as long as it takes to find him - or until the cycle calls for completion.”

“How long is that?” I ask.

Caleb speaks. “I imagine we have until the next full moon before...”

Alec nods and turns to me. There is pain in his eyes, but also a determination to prove himself. I don’t need proof that he loves me. I just need him to come back safe. He takes me in his arms and kisses me, but under Caleb’s watch, it feels wrong somehow. I break from the kiss and gesture toward his brother.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Caleb says, although he is hiding his own suffering. I don’t know if it’s my kiss with Alec or the possibility of losing his brother, but something has rested on him and it is
tearing him down. “I will watch your girlfriend, but she better not be difficult.”

“I have no doubt she will be,”
Alec laughs. “And I have no doubt you will be happy to do it.”

“Alec, if this is to be-” Caleb starts, but his voice
is choked off by sadness.

“She makes her own choices,” he replies. “I have come to terms with it.
The forces at work... Well, we will see how it plays out this time around. I’m too tired to do it again.”

I don’t know what they’re talking about, but a look passes between them that
tells me they’re still leaving much out. Frustrated and ignorant as always, I say nothing. There is nothing to say when no one wants to share your own destiny with you. Talk of curses, puzzles, cycles, and fate is empty; this is my life and yet my choices are being made by people who have all the secrets and hold all the cards. Torn between anger and the inherent desire I feel with both men, I give up. Alec is right; we will have to see how it plays out.

“I should leave immediately, before it starts to grow light,” Alec suggests.

“The revenant camps...” Caleb says, but doesn’t continue.

“There are
camps
?” I ask. “How many are there?”

“We don’t know, but they’ve been growing in size for a while now,” Caleb says.
“Although our coming here seems to have slowed them.”

“It was the party,” Alec adds. “I haven’t heard of any new ones since the party.”

“That bothers me, brother. Their kind is not discriminating.”

Alec nods. “I know.
If I find anything... Well, either way, I will be back before the moon changes or as soon as I have found Henry.”

Already I ache for him. This could take
weeks, and when he returns... No. It won’t happen; by the time Alec comes back, I will know how to save him, I promise myself. Still, just as we started to become close, I am losing him. It feels almost planned, as if this is another test, another part of the story that is being written around the edges of my life.

“While you’re gone, Nora and I will begin tracking Lilith,” Caleb offers.
“Although you do realize that her involvement, your relationship as it were, lessens our chances of success. Especially now that you have chosen...” He looks at me, as does Alec, and I burn under their observation. As soon as Alec leaves, I’m demanding answers. Caleb
will
tell me what I need to know.

“Perhaps,” Alec responds, “but I love her. What power does a curse have if it does not make one hope the impossible is somehow possible?”

“And yet, knowing what you know, knowing of the last time, you are leaving her-”

“She needs to make the choice,” he says. Alec’s eyes are blazing with anger and I want to ask what he means, but there is little darkness left in the night and he must leave. He walks me out of the cabin to say goodbye and kisses me deeply. No longer under the watchful eye of his
brother, the passion returns to his lips and he starts for my sweatshirt. I want to give myself to him, to feel his body against mine, to feel him inside of me, but I know that it will only delay his leaving. It may also prevent him from finding Henry in time, so as much as my body aches for him, I pull away from the kiss and run my hand along his face. It terrifies me that this may be the last time I touch him like this, but in the name of the future, I stay steady.

“Why are you leaving? Why can’t Caleb go?”

He looks up to the sky and then his eyes come back to my face, the simmering intensity fighting to stay contained. “There is a story. The last time… I fell in love and it became personal. There isn’t time to tell you, but maybe my brother can fill you in on the details. It was his violence that changed things. Nora, I do what I must because it has shown to be the only way-”

“How?
What if you just stop? Just let the cycle not happen?”

He holds my face in his hands.
“Again, a story for another time. Suffice it to say that the penalty is great. And now, I need to know. I need to see what he does, who he is.”

“So you’re using me - as a test?
Is that it?”

“I’m not using you. One of us must go. To be frank, I don’t trust him with my future. Sometimes I think he needs this cycle to have a purpose. It has to
be me; at least I can promise I have a reason to return.” His lips press against mine again, but it’s a terrifying kiss; it feels so final.

“Be safe and come back for me,” I whisper.

He kisses me again quickly, his lips still a whisper on mine when he turns to leave. “I love you, Nora. What happens from here will not change that.”

And so
, he disappears into the darkness, while I walk quietly back into the warmth of his brother’s cabin, having no idea what waits.

9.

Caleb’s protective duties are not very involved for the first few days and, in fact, he seems barely to register my existence. All of the sexual tension and, well, actual tension between us is gone; now, he is just a guy I see around sometimes. I prefer it and grow comfortable seeing him looming in the distance as I walk between buildings every so often. It’s almost funny; he looks like a stalker. Fortunately, no one else seems to notice and my life appears to have gotten back to normal. Minus, of course, the missing professor, immortal boyfriend, and hunt for the mother of all monsters. I go to classes, worry about Henry while the TA bumbles through Henry’s lecture notes, and listen to Scarlet mourn her relationship (although she knows nothing about revenants, vampires, or even Alec). Therefore, it’s safe to say that I become somewhat complacent about the idea that I am in the middle of an unholy war. It almost feels like I stayed up too late reading and my sleepless night has mixed the story with the truth. I suppose then that it’s my fault when I come back to the dorm and find my room destroyed.

“What in the fuck?” Scarlet’s eloquence is beautiful music and I rush her in the doorway, crushing her in a hug. At least she’s safe.
My things - not so much. However, they’re only things.

“You’re okay. I thought-”

She pushes me away and adjusts her dress. “Well, I’m fine. But Jesus, Nora, I do
not
feel like cleaning this.”

I wonder
briefly if vampires have some magic ability to make things disappear. Scarlet’s right; this is going to be awful. All of my clothes are thrown around the room, my mattress is ripped and something drips from the tears, my books and notes are shredded, and the window is smashed. As much as I’d love to drop a match and pretend none of it happened, I assume Scarlet would disapprove. Great. I guess someone isn’t seeing her security deposit ever again.

“Guess we should start cleaning,” I say. I go first to the window and pick up the broken glass, stepping on a piece that had landed under my notes on Cain and Abel.

“Damn it,” I cry out, the glass having burst through the sole of my shoe and torn into the flesh on the underside of my foot. I pull off my shoe and blood seeps into my notes, making them useless; I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I figure, at this point, I either am acing this exam or will be dead before it takes place. Or my professor will be.

I collapse on Scarlet’s bed, since mine is more loose stuffing than bed now, and try to
elevate my foot. The blood is rushing and I grab a tissue to staunch the flow. Although I know it is normal and not even a deep cut, seeing this much blood makes me woozy. Scarlet is just staring at me with suspicion when Caleb appears behind her. He doesn’t notice her as he hurries to my side; joining me on the bed, he starts to clean and treat my foot. Scarlet coughs, loudly, and I look up to see questions on her face. I shrug. I will explain later.

“It looks worse than it is,” Caleb says and covers the cut with a bandage. “Just stay off
it for a bit, if you can.”

“Thanks, but what about my room?”

He takes in the mess and grabs a trash bag from Scarlet’s dresser. “Throw it all away. Solves two problems: there is nothing left for them to find and you don’t have to clean.”

“Is anyone going to mention that someone got into our room? Does that not bother either of you?” Scarlet asks.

“You’re lucky you weren’t in it when they did,” Caleb says and tosses her a trash bag. She glares at him, but shakes the bag open and starts cleaning. It’s tough seeing most of my belongings end up in trash bags, but Caleb’s right. Most of it will only tempt further invasions. The less I have, the less likely they are to return. Whomever
they
may be.

The three of us fall into a rhythm of tossing almost everything that belongs to me into trash bags. I fight for a few things - primarily clothes and necessities. We manage
, however, to take the majority of my life and wipe it from existence. It feels both depressing and oddly freeing. It’s a dark thought, but I’m a little grateful as well. If I die facing Lilith in the end, at least my parents will be able to get in and out of my room without much effort. Soon the material parts of me are stacked in black plastic by the doorway.

“As far as your window,” Caleb says as he moves across the room, brushing the remaining glass into the
trashcan. I’m not sure it’s safe for you to stay here.”

“What about me?” Scarlet asks.

“You either. I have an extra room. Why don’t you both-”

Scarlet shakes her head. “No. I will stay with someone on campus. Nora would be smart to do the same.” There is
a vehemence in her voice I’ve never heard before. She senses that Caleb is dangerous, but she doesn’t stop me from staying close to him.

Would I be smart to do what Scarlet’s doing and find a friend on campus?
Probably. Nevertheless, Alec tasked his brother with my protection and I would feel safer with Caleb nearby. Besides, when he returns, Alec is more likely to find me if I’m with Caleb.

“I’ll stay with Caleb,” I say. “Although I completely understand that you would rather-”

“Just be careful, Nora,” Scarlet says. She is concerned and I feel guilty keeping so many secrets from her. Especially secrets that involve Henry. However, after what happened tonight, it seems best to avoid bringing anyone else into my mess.

Caleb moves the final bag of trash - lucky number ten - to the others and admires his quick work. Sweat pastes his hair against his face and his eyes blaze with energy.

“So, my place?” he asks.

Scarlet’s eyes flick between us and, when I make eye contact with her,
she raises an eyebrow. Even with the pervasive risk involved, she can’t deny he’s gorgeous and she nods approvingly after taking in his body. “All right, well, the room looks livable, so I will leave you two to - whatever it is you do. Nora, call me tomorrow? We probably need to fill out some papers or something.” This is Scarlet code, meaning, “Call me as soon as you are not with this chiseled god and tell me details.” I nod and watch her leave, dragging several trash bags behind her.

“How’d you know?” I ask Caleb when we’re alone.

“What do you mean?”

“How’d you know someone got in?”

“I was tasked with protecting you. I have been watching you since.”

“I never saw you,” I say.

“Right. Because I am a good bodyguard,” he teases. “That’s why it’s so important you stay very, very close.” His body moves against mine and suddenly the air in the room is gone. The world shifts and it is only me and Caleb and the renewed sensuality under the surface. I want to do things with him that I don’t think there are words for and I feel his arms tighten around me. My mind is going to places it definitely shouldn’t and I don’t doubt Caleb’s is taking the same tour. He is close enough to kiss and I feel his warm breath tease my lips. Suddenly, though, he backs away and picks up most of the remaining trash. “I’ll be right back. Pack up what you have left and we will bring it to my cabin.”

I’m both stung and relieved. What just passed between us could only have ended one way and, as much as my body seems to
want it, I remind myself that my boyfriend is out stalking revenants for me. The memory of Alec as well as what he said about my choices extinguish the fire. I pack my few remaining things in my messenger bag and, when Caleb returns for the last of the trash, I follow him to his cabin. I hope his spare room has a lock, because I feel like I’m walking into an inferno.

****

Living with Caleb is impossible. I want to hate him, to deny what still simmers between us, but he does everything right. For starters, he’s a fabulous cook. On the first morning I stay with him, I wake to find that he’s made me a giant breakfast of French toast and eggs. Since my normal breakfast consists of whatever snacks I can dig out of the cabinet next to my bed, this is luxury. When I return from classes, he already has dinner ready and I wish that my stomach didn’t enjoy his company so much. Of course, he doesn’t eat; I don’t ask where or from whom he gets his sustenance while I am in class. Over the course of a few days and several amazing meals, Caleb becomes a friend. We talk of my studies, of my family, of the weather, and of the ordinary topics that people talk of, with no obligation or expectation. His callousness fades and he starts to show genuine concern for me. When I come in one afternoon after class, he’s waiting by the door and almost knocks me over in excitement.

“I have information,” he says. I
’m immediately swept into his arms and it’s friendly at first; soon, though, the proximity lets it evolve into something else. I want to deny him, to say that it’s wrong, but sadly, when his eyes meet mine, I know that it isn’t. This has been building since we met and now, when his lips brush mine and his tongue explores my mouth, there is no way I can pretend any longer. I would have expected him to be rough, his physicality to match his personality, but he’s nothing like I anticipated. He is gentle and his hands are questioning, waiting for my permission. He does not push or ask for more; if I told him to stop, he would with no argument. No matter what my mind says, though, my body gives in to him and he carries me to the couch. He pulls me down slowly on top of him and I feel him underneath me, hard and ready. My own body reacts and prepares itself for him. Neither us moves to go further, unsure what the next step should be, although we both know what he wants. I wish I could say that I don’t want it as well, but I do. I reach for the button on his jeans, but he holds my wrist, stopping me just as my fingers brush his length under the denim.

“You love my brother.”

“I do,” I admit.

“You will regret this,” he says. He moves so that I’m sitting next to him instead of on top
of him. It’s a painful transition, moral and upstanding as it may be. “I was tasked with your protection, not your ruining. I’m not the villain everyone wants me to be.”

“I never said that you were,” I say.

“I know.” He doesn’t elaborate and he doesn’t move to touch me or to push me away. I drape my arm over his shoulders and lean my head against him. It’s comforting; it is also not a move either of us must feel guilty for so we leave it at that. The heat between us continues to flicker, but we ignore it.

“Your news?”
I ask, bringing us back to the present.

“I think I may have found something that could help us track Lilith,” he says.

“Lilith. Right. Your mom. The first demon.”

He sighs. “I really hate your kind. Everything is always demon, angel,
vampire. Why are you all so keen on labeling everything? Lilith is our mother, as we are in this form. Other than that, she was just a mistake, an abomination.”

“Why?” I ask. “What turned her?”

He pauses. “I don’t know. But obviously she wasn’t meant to-”

“Exist?”

“Are you feeling sympathetic toward her?”

“I don’t know. It’s just... I believed you were evil because you were hunting Alec.
But you’re not so bad. Maybe Lilith has her reasons, too.”

“Maybe.
And maybe the revenants are forming a boy band.”

“Sarcasm looks good on you,” I smile.

“You’re flirting with me,” he replies. “It’s dangerous. I may just fall for you.”

There is nothing to say in response. With Caleb, it is a constant struggle to walk the line. Now, I step back behind it again. “Okay. So Lilith...”

“Yes. Lilith. If we can stop her, if we can kill her, the cycle is broken. My brother and I become mortal. It means no more curse. It means we can be free to live as we choose.”

“So no one needs to die? I mean, except Lilith.”

“No one needs to die. You save your boyfriend, I can do something with my life other than track my brother through eternity, and the cycle ends. For good.”

“Perfect. Although I have a feeling it’s not one of those things where we just stroll up to Lilith, tell her we’d like to end the cycle, and then she stands by while we destroy her.”

“Right,” he says. “We would need to face her in battle. Also, there’s a catch.”

“Of course there is,” I reply.
“Blood of a virgin?”

He looks at me. “We’d be in bigger trouble if that was the case.”

“Hey,” I pout.

“No, the catch is that we have to make sure there are no others of our kind. Fifty years ago, when my brother and I went to Oxford-”

“I know about Charles and Allen,” I tell him.

“Good. Well, at that point, it was certain there were no others. However,
we became distracted, to say the least, and, as you know, the cycle was completed; in the time since, we haven’t been able to find her. We are pretty sure there have been no more, but we must know with certainty.”

“Let’s say you kill her and she did turn others,” I say.
“Then what?”

“Then nothing.
The cycle continues, but it does so for eternity, because unless we stop it at the source...”

“Got it.
So let’s assume she
did
, in fact, turn others. What do we do?”

“We have to find them and bring them to her, or we must kill them first. Her blood must be intact when she
is destroyed; even one drop that has gone missing will mean failure. Lilith must be whole, so all parts of her that have been spread over the earth must either be destroyed or brought together,” he explains.