Bitter Fruits (4 page)

“I’ll look him up, but Alec, I’m going to be at the church in three days,” I say.

“For your sake, Nora, I hope that you’re not.”

I stand and dress, his eyes never leaving my body, and I’m satisfied that he at least looks rueful that we didn’t take it further tonight. He smiles at me - a painful smile - and I go to him, letting him hold me against him again. I don’t know what Charles Samuels has to do with us, but in Alec’s arms, I can’t imagine a world where it would matter. “Three days,” I promise. He kisses me quickly and, of course, disappears almost immediately. I am getting really sick of that.

4.

Of course, the first thing I do as soon as classes are over the next afternoon is go to the library. Sure, I could just look it up on my laptop in my room, but as an English and art history major, all I know how to do when confused and in need of answers is to head to the library. I make my way to the study annex and settle in, prepping my iPod. This requires music. My laptop readies and I tap my fingers on the hard tabletop. Why is it that whenever I want the computer to start quickly it needs to add fifty updates? Finally, I get online and I type in the name Charles Samuels. There are some vague references, but certainly nothing that warrants Alec’s hot and cold behavior. I’m on page eight of Google when something catches my attention. It’s an article about a murder at Oxford; a college senior was found guilty of killing his brother, Allen, but disappeared before the sentencing. One night, he simply vanished from the prison where he was held. Even weirder is the fact that the body of his dead brother disappeared around the same time, dug from its grave. I’m not sure what this has to do with me until I click on a related link and see an old scanned photo from the original article. Even with the age, it’s evident that the guy in the picture is the same guy I met at the party - Caleb, I think he said his name was. The photo is from the day that Samuels heard the verdict; he is grinning. That grin, although not covered by a silver mask, reaches out from the screen and tugs on my heart. How is this possible? There must be a logical explanation.

I read further and find that there was a lot of controversy about the case because many believed that Samuels was not fit to stand trial; he, however, refused to claim insanity. In his statements in court, though, one could argue that he was definitely not of sound mind. I read the article and stop at one of the comments from Samuels’ testimony.

It was Allen’s fate to die, as it was my destiny to kill him. No one fights the darkness. My brother and I have always known this was our path, as it has always been and will never cease to be.

The policemen who brought him in said that the crime scene was not cleared; Charles had merely left the knife beside his brother’s mutilated body and had written the same word in his brother’s blood in each room of the house they’d shared. “Lilith.”
When they arrested him, it was also the only word he would speak. People assumed drugs were involved and, when Charles disappeared, the case was big news for a while. Then, something else must have happened and people forgot. Allen’s body was never recovered and Charles was never found, but it appears that eventually people stopped looking. I suppose human beings only have so much to give before something even more shocking garners their attention. My mind goes to the Samuels brothers’ family, although there is no mention of them in any of the articles.

Despite the weirdness of the entire story and the obvious creepiness about Charles and Caleb looking
exactly the same, I’m still not sure why Alec feels a murder over half a century ago has anything to do with our relationship. I print the articles and decide to do a quick search on Lilith, but nothing comes up that seems relevant. A lot about Jewish mythology and Biblical lore, but it doesn’t make sense if linked with a fratricide in the UK. I realize it’s getting late, so I grab my copies from the printer and head back to the dorm. Maybe I can ask Henry tomorrow.

My chance comes sooner than expected because Scarlet is on the phone with him when I get back.

“Hey, ask him if he knows anything about a mythological person named Lilith,” I say.

Scarlet rolls her eyes at me, clearly having better things to discuss with her boyfriend, but she asks him nonetheless. His answer must be long and complicated because she just hands me the phone. I only catch the end of his explanation.

“-but no one knows for sure.”

“It’s Nora. Scarlet handed me the phone. I only caught the end of that. And it doesn’t sound helpful.”

“You know Lilith was in the review materials for my class, right?”

“In Genesis?”

“Well, no, but I didn’t expect you to follow directions and only read for the next class.”

“Busy. You know, impossible love interest, masquerade balls, ethical dilemmas involving my mythology professor.”

“Nice. Anyway, there are several theories, but why do you want to know?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. Alec gave me some vague name and I am supposed to research it. It led me to a word, ‘Lilith.’ Somehow, this
is all connected to a sinister darkness that Alec believes he is saving me from. Or something.”

“Lilith is a complex myth. How much time do you have?” Henry asks.

I look across the room at Scarlet, who is tapping her foot against the bed frame. I’m guessing she doesn’t care about folklore and wants her phone back. I know Henry and I, on the other hand, could discuss ancient mythology all night. I sigh into the phone. “I feel like this is going to be involved. I don’t want to take up your entire night. Maybe you can look over the papers I printed in person? I’m sure there is a link if Alec thought it was this important.”

“Sure, stay after class tomorrow. Bring the info you have and I’ll see what I can dig up as well.” He sounds actually excited about this and I smile.
Mythology professors - a critical tool when dealing with insanity.

“Yeah, okay. Here’s your girlfriend.” I toss the phone back to Scarlet and try to ignore the dirty talk that commences.

****

Following Henry
’s lecture the next day is a challenge; he is far better versed in the Bible than I am and the review books were not nearly helpful enough. He talks about Cain and Abel and the theories about the murder, as well as the archetypal structure of the story. I get the basics - duality, jealousy, punishment, and revenge. Otherwise, I am lost, but when he says the name Lilith, I try to make sense of what he is saying. According to Henry, there are myths that show Cain leaving Adam and Eve and, after his punishment from God, his coming across Lilith. Biblical scholars debate about whether or not Lilith was a legitimate force in the canon, but many agree that there is enough evidence in the Apocrypha to defend the belief that Lilith was Adam’s wife before Eve. Huh. That’s the first I have ever heard of Adam being with anyone but Eve. I always thought that they were the only ones in Eden. Henry says we will be discussing Lilith at length in the coming weeks, but that for now, it’s important to know that theories suggest Cain went to her for refuge after God’s mark was placed on him. Some even hint that she was Cain’s mother, not Eve. From there, the stories go in radically different directions. This is one of the many reasons that I love my major. I adore the way that each story has so many versions and they are all right to someone. By the end of the lecture, I am looking forward to studying the subject in more depth.

After class, I stay around to talk to Henry and pull out the copies of what I found online. He places them on the desk in front of him and he begins to mumble to himself. 

“What is it?” I ask.

“There is a myth that has been discussed only in the most obscure circles. It questions everything from the popular versions, but there is little evidence that it has any merit. Do you mind if I read some of this and pass it by a friend of mine before commenting more?”

“Sure. But what does this have to do with Alec? I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow night, but he feels like these papers may change everything. How? Why would I care about a murder that happened before even my parents were born?”

“I don’t know but the fact that he’s worried about
this concerns me. There is nothing that strikes you as odd? Even the smallest detail-”

“Well, I mean, the guy, Charles, he looks just like this guy Caleb that Alec was talking to at the party. I think they’re brothers, but it would be impossible for them to be the same guy. Maybe Charles was their uncle or something.”

“Wait - he looks like this man here?” Henry points to the mug shot of Charles Samuels and I nod. He grabs my arm and his fingers dig into my flesh. “Nora, stay away. If this is what I think it is, you are in grave danger. These men, they are-”

“Why?” I demand, pulling my arm free. “Because a crazy guy killed his brother fifty years ago and looks like another guy I saw at a party for five seconds? Henry, I appreciate the help, but I think you’re letting your stories go to your head.”

“Nora, please. For your own sake, stay away. I’ll have information for you in a few days. At least wait until I can confirm...”

“Fine,” I say and take my things. I
have no intention of waiting a few days, because Alec said if I didn’t show at the church, he would assume I was no longer interested. And I
am
interested, even given his weirdness and Henry’s overreaction. Henry is the one who told me that some people let the stories go to their heads and Alec has shown no sign of being dangerous. If anything, he has been too safe, avoiding anything that could get either of us in trouble. Despite the number of fantasy novels I have read and the movies I’ve watched, I’m not a flake; I don’t believe in monsters. Henry should know better than to warn me about a story in a newspaper; my major aside, facts and reason still trump myth. Even if Alec is related to a murderer, I can’t blame him for the sins of his family.

It
’s grown cold when I get back outside and I am surprised at how quickly fall seems to have faded away. It is another one of those years when the leaves are gone before I even noticed them falling; it depresses me, but I try to ignore it. I head to the cafeteria to get coffee before going to the library to work on my research for Henry’s class. Personal nonsense aside, I do enjoy his course and I want to keep up. This Cain and Lilith story, especially the various theories, is intriguing and I can’t wait to learn more. I’m almost at the library when I hear someone call my name.

I turn toward the sound but don’t see anyone at first. A few second later, a figure emerges from behind one of the now bare trees. He is as stunning as he was at the party; the mask actually seems to have hurt his looks, because now, without it, I can’t help but stare. The deep blue of his eyes promises t
o drive me into chaos and yet I meet his gaze. I find him fascinating. I try to shake his grasp, but it doesn’t work; I walk toward him as if my body is not my own. He takes my arm and pulls me close to him, breathing me in, and although a voice is crying out Alec’s name in my head, I ignore it. The turbulent oceans of his eyes threaten everything and still I don’t veer off course.

“You remember me?” He teases.

“Caleb,” I choke out, feeling his hands moving along my back and willing them to move lower. I want to stop, but something is preventing me from walking, or what should be running, away.

“My brother is taken by you, you know. You seem less
... shall we say, committed?”

“I … he is …” The problem is that I can’t speak. I know this is wrong but Alec and I have not made any promises and Caleb is sublime. His dark hair falls into his eyes and I reach up to brush it away as I wanted to do at the party, my hand burning as it
comes in contact with his skin. I lean my head back and do not fight when his mouth moves close to mine. His lips brush only the corner of my mouth. He whispers so low that I’m not sure I hear him.

“There is no way you are strong enough. He is a fool.”

Reality kicks me and I tear myself from his embrace. “What?”

“You might think he matters to you, but when faced with death, you are all weak.” Darkness covers his face and I am suddenly scared. Caleb is not his brother; he may be sexy and I may be attracted to him, but he is definitely a threat and I try to sink back down to earth. If Henry wanted to warn me away from anyone, Caleb is the one to fear.

“I’m not weak. I have weak moments, as we all do, but I care for him.”

“He told you about Samuels?” He asks.

“He did. And it changes nothing.” The look on his face is exactly what I hope for and I am proud of my defiance.

“You don’t know what you are getting into, sweetheart, but Alec is not the only one who will die if you pursue this. Don’t say I did not warn you.”

Like his brother, he is gone before I have a chance to respond. I look to the sky and see the darkening night blanket the day. Less than twenty-four hours to see Alec and, despite the endless warnings, I
will
be at the church. I walk back to my dorm, the cold afternoon taunting me as I try to forget the feel of Caleb’s mouth against mine.

5.

The day I am to meet Alec is, I am pretty sure, the slowest day in the history of human existence. Some sort of anomaly must occur because clocks stop moving forward. I don’t have mythology today and instead I suffer through statistics, which is already the biggest threat to my happiness; now, with the interminably long day and my relationship confusion, I start to wonder if the devil invented statistics to test our strength.
Job has nothing on me
, I think. By the time night falls, I haven’t eaten and I have checked the clock on my phone a hundred times.

Beyond the nerves and frustration, the time also gives me room to think.
What am I doing
, I wonder. Alec is gorgeous, but he isn’t interested in me; he has done nothing but play games and tease me. The more I listen to my mind, the more annoyed I become. Why does he have this power over me? Normally, if a guy showed such little interest in taking a relationship to the next step, I would leave. Although, I have to admit, no guy has ever shown interest in me, and yet refused to make it physical. Excellent. Now I can add confused to the list of problems I have.

Eventually, I can’t take the sitting around and staring at walls, so I walk to the church even if I am early. Keeping moving stabilizes my thinking. I don’t tell anyone where I am going, which, looking back, was probably a stupid idea, but I don’t want to hear Henry rant about some ages old story or Scarlet lecture me about being safe. Instead, I just want to lose myself in Alec and let the rest fall into
place as it will.

The church looks different tonight; the light is lower since the moon is no longer full and, without a party bringing life to the place, I almost let superstition and all this talk of danger hold me back. However, when I see Alec standing on the church steps, I move forward, lured by something beyond me. He is also early; I smile to myself, feeling pretty badass that this demigod is as anxious to see me as I have been all day. He is dressed like a reasonable person tonight, in a pea coat and corduroys. Maybe winter is catching up to him as well. Every time I look at him, I wonder how I was lucky enough to meet him, to have him choose me. My body reacts as I get closer and I determine that I will have him tonight.

Nothing changes with each time I see Alec; I can’t resist him. When he faces me, the green in his eyes turns me into a weak-willed damsel in need of saving. I don’t know what it is about these two guys; it goes beyond their looks. There is something between us that links us to one another across time. Pushing thoughts of his brother out of my mind, I greet Alec with a kiss. His lips taste sweet and I want to keep kissing him. He cuts the kiss short, however, and takes my hand in his gloved one.

“You came,” he says, half questioning and half impressed.

“I did. I told you I would follow you anywhere. Although a cold case from half a century ago?”

“It’s not cold. Everyone knows what happened.”

“Fine. But what does that have to do with anything? Also, why is your brother hunting me down to offer sinister and vague warnings about your death?”

He clutches my hand and his face, already pale, grows somehow paler. “My brother found you?”

“Yes, but what’s going on, Alec? Some guy killed his brother years ago, some guy who looks like Caleb, and-”

“Not looks like.
Is. Charles
is
Caleb.”

Silence worms its way between us but I have no response. I wonder if there was more in the drinks at that party, given how odd everyone is acting.
First Chloe, then Henry, and now Alec. He is standing here, trying to make me believe his brother is - what? Over 100 years old? What is even stranger is that a part of my brain believes him; logic is fighting to regain control over my emotions, but something inside of me feels as if this is all finally starting to fall into place. I fight that feeling, because, well, I’m not insane.

“Okay, Alec.”

“Nora, listen to me. Please.”

“Alec, you’re hot. Like
crazy hot. But there is crazy hot and just plain crazy. So how old is Caleb? 100? Yet he still looks 20? Drinks a lot of milk, does he?”

“Blood,” he whispers.

I stare at him. I promised not to walk away, not to avoid the darkness, but I thought he was trying to be mysterious; as attractive as he is, I can forgive the capped teeth, but believing his brother is a vampire who killed someone in the 1960’s? This is the real “time to walk away” moment. Somehow, though, I don’t move. Again, a piece of me whispers that he is right; just as Henry and I discussed, it seems like my life has all been a lie until now, as if this was my destiny. The cold stone of the wall of the church presses against my back but I don’t fight it as Alec pushes closer to me and tilts his head back.

“Nora, look,” he says and he reveals his fangs. I reach a fingertip out and prick it on the sharpness of one of them.

“Ouch,” I say as a small amount of blood forms on my finger.

“The masquerade... you may all have been pretending, but me and my brother? Well, we are hunting someone.”

“Hunting?”

“Yes, a woman. She has eluded us since our time in Oxford. I have been looking for - an answer. You and your friends seem to think this life is erotic, fantastical, but it is exhausting. I
can only be killed so many times; I need to break this curse, stop this cycle. And now, with you, the need grows even more urgent.”

“What are you?” I ask. He holds me close and I try to believe that it is not perfectly right; whatever Alec’s story is, I know now that I
’ll hear him out and I will become a part of it. I have been waiting to meet him; I just didn’t realize it.

“You would likely call us vampires,” he says. “Although we are not exactly vampires as your legends tell of us. We are immortal, and we survive on human blood, but it is only the blood of the willing - and always women.”

“Oh, what the hell,” I complain. “I finally meet this dreamy guy and he is either insane or he is going around drinking other women’s blood. Is it so much to ask to just find a hot guy and have a little fun?”

“You’re taking this very well,” he says
, but there is curiosity in his eyes.

“I can’t walk away,” I admit. “I want to. In fact, my mind is screaming that you’re crazy, that this is ridiculous.
But I can’t move. You are meant for me and I can’t deny it. The second you touched me at the party, I knew I was home.”

Alec leans down and kisses me. He is desperate and aggressive, not the considerate lover he has been, but a hungry and needy animal. There is no fear in me, only an equally matched passion, and I fall back into his arms as he moves up and down along my neck and chest. I think we are going to make love right here, against the entranceway to the church, but he steps back, his fangs disappearing, and he sighs. Grabbing my hand, he leads me into the church. Empty, it is no longer a portal to a fantasy world from a book;
instead, it is an eerie entrance into something I realize is darker than I anticipated. We move to one of the pews and the velvet cushion sinks under me as I sit, Alec sitting beside me.

“My brother and I, we are old,” he says.
“Older than man almost. From the beginning. Many of your myths are lacking creativity, but we do survive on passion. It was passion that brought us to what turned us, and it is passion that sustains us. If I stop, the price is too great. Yet all I want is the feeling of something that lasts. When you live forever, you realize how transient everything truly is. Immortality is a tricky thing. I have died enough to know that at least.”

“You’ve died? But isn’t - I mean, isn’t that kind of the opposite of immortality?”

“I don’t die as you die. I just start again. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes years, but eventually, the peace is broken - and the cycle resumes.”

“So you and Caleb have been dying and ‘resuming’ forever?”

“He doesn’t die. I die.”

“Oh, I mean, that makes sense,” I say.

“It does,” he says. “It’s my destiny to die.”

“Why can’t he die? Shake it up a bit?”

“Because he cannot. There is a great deal to our story and perhaps I will tell you someday, but suffice it to say that we each play a role. And you are interfering, because now that I have met you, I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to die, Nora.”

“You can resume, though? So, I wouldn’t really lose you.”

“It’s more complicated - and this form of me, the one that you love - he does not want to die while you are in his life. What if it’s ten years? For me, that may be nothing, but for you…”

His voice breaks my heart and I hold his face in my hands. “You won’t die,” I tell him. “I’m not that easy to frighten and I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop fate,” he whispers.

“It’s a good thing I don’t believe in fate,” I say and kiss him lightly. He backs away again, though.

“The point is, Nora, I don’t want you to suffer. I will die, even if you don’t want to hear it. The bigger concern is that, when I have fallen in love in the past, it has ended badly. Very badly. If my brother were to get to you...”

“I don’t resume,” I reply.

“Right.”

“Can you make me a vampire then?” I ask.

“Cute. No. There is only one who can turn others - and she is our prey.”

“Maybe she can-”

“No. I believe it has been a very long time since she has, and it would be best to keep it that way.”

I glance around the church. Shadows make weird shapes on the walls and I imagine someone is watching us.
Perhaps Caleb, perhaps the woman they are hunting, perhaps no one. Either way, it feels strange and I shiver. Alec instinctively reaches for me and tries to warm me, but the chill is coming from within.

“What happens when you drink blood?” I ask him.

“Nothing really. As long as we can control ourselves, the woman at worst feels a little pain and may be woozy for a few days, but that is all. As I said, she must be willing.”

“What do you mean as long as you can control yourselves?”

“We are driven by passion. Most of our, what shall we call them?”

“Snacks.”

He laughs. “Fine. Most of our ‘snacks,’ as you so eloquently put it, are not women we are particularly attracted to, so it is easy to stop. When we are attracted to the women, however, passion can be destructive.”

“Is that why you keep running away from me?”

“That - and the last time I felt passion, even when I could control myself, well... as I said, it ended badly.”

“I’m willing. And I trust you,” I tell him.

“Nora, no.” He turns from me and I can see him fighting his own desire.

“Listen, Alec, if I’m going to be with you, there is no way in hell I am okay with you snacking on other girls. It’s either all me or you walk away right now.” Part of me worries that he will actually get up and leave. I refuse to let emotion slip into my face, although my heart feels like a jackhammer. I channel some of the confidence I had at the party and it has the desired effect. Alec looks at me and then, with a heavy sagging of his shoulders, I see the fight desert him. He can’t walk away
either and knowing that it is as hard for him as it is for me gives me the opening I need. I lean over to him and lift his shirt over his head. He sighs deeply and lets my fingertips trace the lines of his torso. I ignore the need in my body and try to take it slow, wanting to savor him.

Suddenly, though, he grabs me and all of the sweetness he has shown starts to deteriorate,
his animal passion and hunger driving him. He pushes me back onto the cushion and then he is above me and my clothes are off. I run my fingers along his arms and chest. I want him as I have never wanted anyone and I am tearing at his belt when the first bite registers. He is drinking from me and it is ecstasy that cannot be described. The giving feels greater than any sexual or physical act I have ever experienced; the pleasure and pain are like an orgasm, but we are only beginning. While he drinks, I continue to undress him until we are pressed together, naked and desperate, his body drinking of mine in more ways than one.

Once his pants are off, I whisper to him to stop for a moment. My neck is throbbing, but I do not want to experience this without seeing him in front of me. I have longed to see all of him since we met, masked strangers at a party.

“Stand up,” I tell him and he does without comment. Although it is dark in the church, we are close enough that the faint light from the moon makes him visible. I can see every muscle, every ripple of his flesh, and then my eyes come to rest on him in his fullness. He is beautiful and I grow wetter at the sight. Alec is everything I imagined he would be, his body satisfying me without even a caress. I rise from the pew and approach him, wrapping one arm around his waist and clutching at the flesh of his ass. With the other, I touch him, feeling him react to my fingers with a twitch. I need to have him penetrate me, every part of me. I tease him with my tongue down his chest and to his stomach.

“Nora,” he whispers. “Yes.”

It is the permission I need and I fall to my knees, meeting him with my mouth. My lips fold over the head and he groans; I can’t tell if the sound is pain or pleasure although it may be a little of both. Taking the length of him in, I lick the shaft and reach up behind him to touch the muscles in his back. My head moves back and forth over him and he meets every motion with his own thrusts. The taste of him is all that I have dreamed about this past week and I grow wetter as his hardness fills my throat. Tonight will be a new beginning but I am not in a rush; now that I know neither of us can stop this, we will enjoy every pleasure possible. Alec begins to lose himself and I feel his legs struggling to stay firm. I don’t want him to come yet, needing to feel him enter me instead, so I pull myself away and stand. Our naked bodies meet as I rise; we are pushed together in the coolness of the stone church.