Bitter Wild (14 page)

“The
snow has finally stopped. There’s a good eight inches on the ground.”

Casey
nodded as she bent to prepare the meal Chance had provided them with. “That’s
good. With any luck at all, the front will pass as quickly as it came and the
temperature will start rising again.”

“It’s
still pretty bitter out there.”

“It’s
spring. The weather changes fast this time of year. Although the good news is
that the snow is holding everyone up, including Jester.” She lifted her gaze to
focus on Jack. “It’s entirely possible that he got caught in the storm and
froze to death.”

“I
can’t say I would be disappointed if we found him dead.”

She
shrugged. “It’s just as possible that he found some shelter of his own. Even if
he did, though, he can’t move in this any more than we can. He’s too smart to
risk leaving his shelter and getting caught in a secondary front. Which means
he’s not gaining any distance on us. John and the others will have access to
weather reports. That means they’ll get a jump on all of us.” She turned back
to the rabbit and finally finished cleaning the animal. She turned and called
out to Jack. “I’m done, you can bring me the pot although I’m afraid you’re
going to have to do the cooking.”

Jack
heard the strain in her voice and cursed himself for not thinking about how
weak she must be. He’d been so busy trying to avoid the rabbit that he never
even thought about what it was costing her to stay upright for this long. He was
on his feet in an instant and at her side a moment later. He bent to set the
pot down and waited until she’d put the meat inside it and washed her hands.
Then he swept her up in his arms again and carried her back to the fire. She
shot him a frown as he sat her down.

“You
don’t have to keep doing that, you know. I’m sure I can walk with a little
help.”

“I’m
sure you could, too. And even if you couldn’t, you’d never let it show.”

She
arched a brow at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He
answered as he turned around to go get the pot. “It means that you’re the most
independent woman I’ve ever known.” He came back with the meat. “And the most
stubborn.” He sat the pot down and met her gaze. “What you did was insane. It
nearly got you killed.”

Casey
opened her mouth to argue with him, then snapped it closed again. He was right.
She’d been thinking the same thing before she got knocked out. The trail had to
be marked, but she should have done it as soon as she was certain Jester had
doubled back to the second trail. She’d known the rain would start freezing.
But she’d underestimated the weakness in her leg. It had slowed her down far
more than she’d expected. That, coupled with the frigid temperatures and the
sleet falling from the sky had turned what should have been an hour long hike
into nearly three. She held Jack’s gaze as she nodded.

“You’re
right. I should have waited. I was tired and my leg was hurting and I should
have known it would take me longer than usual to make the hike. I’m sorry for
putting you through all this.”

Jack
stared at her in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to agree with him. He was
quickly learning, though, to never
expect
her to do anything. She was
never going to be that easy to categorize. He cleared his throat.

“I don’t
need an apology, Casey. I just want you to understand that you aren’t alone. I
know I’m not experienced at survival. I’ve never set foot in the woods until
now. But I’m not a complete idiot.” He shot her an alarming smile. “At least
not most of the time. I have been known to stick my big foot in my mouth once
or twice, though.”

Casey
couldn’t quite manage to feel comfortable with this side of him. From the
moment she’d met him she’d felt as if she had to constantly be on guard. Now
she considered that her vision of him might have been shaped as much by her own
insecurities as by the things he’d said when they first met. He’d proved that
he trusted and respected her. He wasn’t an arrogant chauvinist. He was just a
man trying to make the best of an awkward situation. She returned his smile.
“Yeah, well, you aren’t the only one who suffers from that particular affliction.
I’ve been known to let my rampant feminism get the better of me on occasion.”

He shot
her a look of mock surprise. “You’re a feminist? I’d never have guessed!”

They
both laughed, then he glanced down at the pot of meat. His face drew up into an
uncertain expression. “So what am I supposed to do with this, exactly?” He
lifted his gaze to hers once more. “I’m not a particularly spectacular cook
even when I have access to all the modern conveniences.”

Casey
shook her head. “There’s not a whole lot you can do. Our options are a bit
limited. You can try to make a stew, though without any vegetables I don’t know
how much of a stew it would turn out to be. Or you can grill it right over the
open flame.”

He
didn’t hesitate. “Grilled. I’ve been feeding you jerky flavored water and I’m
not remotely interested in going for the same thing with a little different
flavor.”

Casey
watched as he repositioned the grate over the fire, then laid the pieces of
meat along the edge where they’d be close enough to the heat to cook, but far
enough away to not burn into instant charcoal. She closed her eyes. She was
impressed by the way he’d handled himself during their crisis. In fact, she had
to admit she was pretty much impressed with how he’d handled himself through
this entire trip. With the exception of that first day when he’d tried to
follow her into the woods and nearly gotten himself chewed up by the big cat, he’d
taken everything they’d faced in stride. He might not have been born to the
mountains the way she had been, but he was adjusting remarkably well. With a
little time and experience she believed he would become someone she wouldn’t
hesitate to rely on out here.

She
called a halt to her thoughts. He wasn’t going to get any time or experience.
As soon as they caught up to Russell Jester, Jack Hall and all the other
federal agents would leave. Jack would go back to the city and probably forget
all about his adventure in the wilderness. He’d forget about her. And that was
exactly the way it should be. He might be adapting well to the rough living,
but that wouldn’t change what he was. She knew the life he was accustomed to
living. The fact that she’d been born in the mountains didn’t mean she had no
experience of the rest of the world. She’d gone to college in the city, mainly
because it had been the only place she could go and partly because she’d wanted
to see what city life was like. She’d learned quickly that it moved with
lightning speed and enough noise to drive a person mad. That was the place Jack
was from. Glitzy restaurants and nightclubs. Twenty-four hour a day activity.
He’d go crazy in less than a month in Decatur. There was one restaurant, a
diner that served the basics, but nothing fancy. There was one bar in town that
had live music two Saturdays a month. There was a movie theater in the next
county that played films roughly a year after they debuted elsewhere. The
closest thing Decatur had to offer to live theater was the Christmas pageant
the school put on each year. In short, Jack Hall would die of boredom. She
opened her eyes, pushing the oddly unpleasant train of thought away as he
spoke.

“Why
don’t you get some sleep? You must be exhausted.”

“I’ve
been sleeping for a day and a half.”

He
shook his head. “You’ve been delirious for a day and a half. It’s hardly the
same thing.”

She met
his gaze. “Did I give you any trouble?”

He
immediately thought of the ache he’d spent the night fighting after he’d felt
her naked body pressed against him. He shook his head. “Not really, though you
were pretty fitful.”

She
frowned. “How so?”

Jack
knew this was the moment he could ask about Andy and the scars on her body. It
would be perfectly natural to ask questions. But he suddenly realized that he
no longer felt so compelled to ferret out all her secrets. He knew what he
needed to know about her and that was enough. He shook his head. “You just
didn’t rest well, that’s all.”

He
wasn’t telling her everything. She could see it in his face. She tried to
imagine what she might have said or done during the fever. Almost immediately
she realized that there would only have been one thing on her mind. She sighed.
He’d seen the scars, but he hadn’t asked about them. She knew enough about him
to realize that was out of character. He always asked why and how. She couldn’t
believe he’d suddenly lost that need to know.

“What
did I say?”

“It
doesn’t matter. You were sick.”

“Come
on, Jack. Tell me what I said.”

He
locked his gaze on her. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t expect
it.”

“It’s
okay.”

He
nodded. “You talked about someone named, Andy. You kept saying it was your
fault.”

She
felt her heart rate jump at the mere mention of his name. She nodded, but took
a few moments to fight past the emotion that clogged her throat. She finally
drew a long, slow breath and told him the story.

“His
name was Andrew McAllister. Sam McAllister, the man who provided the horse you
were riding, is his father. Andy and I grew up together. Sam used to act as a
guide in these parts and he started taking us into the woods with him when we
were both kids. I guess you could say he was the one who put the love of the
mountains in my soul. Andy and I played here. We lived here. We camped and hunted
and tracked all over these mountains. By the time we were in our teens there
wasn’t anyone in the state who knew this corner of the Rockies like we did.
People came to us when someone was lost. Fish and wildlife used us to track
down poachers.

“I suppose
it was entirely natural for us to fall in love with each other. We were so
close that sometimes I thought we might truly be one soul split into two
bodies. We went to college away from here, but neither one of us could stay
gone for long. When we came back we both swore we’d never leave again. When he
asked me to marry him I didn’t even consider saying no. But I had this silly
notion that I wanted to get married in the winter, when the snow blanketed the
mountains. We planned to marry at Christmas.”

Jack
could see the pain in her eyes and he shook his head, wanting to tell her to
stop. She either didn’t understand or didn’t see the motion, though, because
she continued as he saw tears fill her eyes.

“It was
spring, earlier than now, but the weather had been unseasonably warm. We
decided to take a ride into the trees, to go on a picnic. We went to a favorite
spot and laid out a blanket. We’d just started pulling out the food when the
bear charged us.”

Jack
felt himself flinch in shock. Her tears were pouring down her pale face. She
shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. “It hit me first, knocking me to the
ground before taking hold of my leg. Then Chance went after it. It would have
killed him right off if it had the use of both its arms. One of them was badly
mangled, though. It had tangled with another bear or some other big animal and
the arm was broken and infected. It let me go to take on Chance and I heard
Andy screaming at me to move.

“I
didn’t have my rifle with me. It was more than a dozen feet away, leaning
against a tree. I started crawling toward it and I heard Chance yelp. I knew it
was going to come after me again. Then Andy started shooting with the handgun.
It drew the bear away from me. I heard it scream and then I heard the handgun
go silent and Andy started screaming. I finally got to the rifle and managed to
put the animal down. It was too late for Andy, though. He was dead before I
could get to him.

“I
can’t remember a lot of the details after that. One of the horses broke its
tether and ran. They tell me that I somehow managed to get Andy and myself onto
the other animal and ride out of the woods. I was unconscious when they found
us. By the time I woke up a week later in the hospital, Andy had been buried
and everyone was calling me a hero for surviving.” He saw the
self-recrimination in her gaze. “I was no hero. If I’d been more careful, Andy
wouldn’t have died. I should have had the rifle within reach. It was my
carelessness that cost the man I loved his life.”

Jack
couldn’t believe she was serious. He shook his head. “No. The bear cost Andy
his life. My God, Casey, how could you have known something like that would
happen?”

“I
don’t know! But I should have been prepared. I should have moved faster or
noticed the horses were nervous. I should have done something different.”

Now he
understood why she’d reacted the way she had when he’d been face to face with
the cat. Her anger made sense. Her insistence that he and Skip were her
responsibility. She was still trying to atone for something that wasn’t even
her fault.

“Listen
to me, Casey. What happened to you and your fiancé wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t
anyone’s fault. You said it yourself. Nature takes no prisoners. I’ve seen
enough in the past few days to understand just how true that is. You might be
the best guide in the state, but you’re only human. And forgive me if this
seems indelicate, but you weren’t the only guide there that day. Why didn’t
your fiancé have the rifle close at hand? If you’re going to blame yourself for
not thinking of that, then he has to take some of that blame as well.”