Bittersweet (10 page)

Chapter Twelve

“It’s good to be home.” she whispered before taking a deep, relieved breath as she stepped out of the car. The day was beautiful and so was the view. The ride from the hospital seemed to take forever. Although she appreciated Tyler’s thoughtfulness, he drove like an eighty-year-old woman after church on Sunday. In any other circumstance, she probably would have laughed or gotten frustrated with him. Instead, she was touched.

Home—she was finally home, admiring Tyler with Jayden in his arms. The sight of their faces lit up with excitement made her smile. It felt like a dream; too good to be true. She took in her surroundings as if seeing them for the first time. Her square, average-sized, brown-brick home had never looked better, and she jumped when Tyler wrapped his arms around her.

“Whatchya thinking about?” His lips were close to her ear, and his hot breath felt like a caress to her whole body, making her go weak in the knees.

“Hmm, I’m thinking that it feels like a whole new beginning, that I’m so glad to be home, and I was admiring you with our son.” She laughed, looking around. “Where is our little monkey?”

“He ran off.” Tyler shrugged. “It’s so good to have you back, Jenna.”

His eyes turned glossy and she couldn’t stop her need to comfort him. Leaning forward, caressed the side of his face and embraced him. The need to feel his lips against her own was overwhelming. “I love you,” she whispered, breathless. Tyler was still alive, she was actually home with Tyler, and it still wowed her.

“Geez, Tyler, she’s been home all of two minutes and already you’re hogging her.”

Jenna chuckled happily at the sound of her best friend’s voice. “It’s great to see you, Sam.” She turned to see Sam holding Jayden’s hand and her parents standing behind them, waiting patiently for her and Tyler to go inside.

“Damn straight,” her husband remarked. “And I’m not sure that I want to share.” He pulled Jenna toward him, winked playfully, and kissed her good before letting go.

“Later.” She winked back and laughed as he swatted her butt.

“That’s a promise. Welcome home, Jenna.”

She was coddled, loved, and completely pampered the entire day. It wasn’t surprising, but it was tiring. She’d been in the hospital for too long, and it was time to fend for herself and take care of her family as she had before. One day wasn’t going to kill her, though, so she bit her tongue and spent some quality time with her favorite people.

“It’s great to see you, Sam. I missed you at the hospital.”

Sam looked guilty. “I went to see you once. It was after your surgery, and you looked awful.” Jenna laughed and Sam smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…I couldn’t handle it. There were complications, and you looked so lifeless. I should have been there, but I couldn’t. I got updates about you, but I just preferred to remember you full of life. Can you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive.” Jenna knew Sam cared and could understand. Had their roles been reversed, she might have preferred not to have haunting memories of a lifeless Sam. She looked around to make sure the coast was clear. “Um, can you join me on the porch? I have some questions, and I’d prefer if we could keep them between us.”

“S-sure what’s up?” She followed Jenna out.

Fall was approaching; the nights were beginning to get cool, and she shivered. Jenna needed to get to the point. She was confused and searching for some kind of rational explanation for how she had “dreamed up” Brady and all that time in Ireland in such believable detail.

“When you were in Ireland did you happen to go to Dublin?” It was a stupid question, of course Sam had, but she was nervous and had to break the ice somehow.

Sam nodded, looking confused.

“The pictures you brought back, I know I saw them, but what were those places? Where they, by chance, pictures of St. Stephen’s Green, Merrion Square, Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, or the Four Courts, to name a few?” These were places she’d seen, or at least thought she had, and she needed to know if she’d pictured them subconsciously because she’d already seen them in photographs. “Please, Sam.”

“Some of them are,” Sam answered, looking puzzled.

Jenna nodded and felt so frustrated that she wanted to cry. Ireland was a place she’d always dreamed of visiting. At least that part made sense. Her familiarity with the country was the result of Sam’s experiences mixed with her daydreams of one day visiting. That had to be the explanation, partly at least.

“Sam, did you ever visit a place called Whelan’s? It’s a pretty popular pub, I think.”

“I’ve heard of it, but no. I was too busy, and besides, I’m not one to go out by myself. I’d feel kind of silly. Why are you asking me this?”

She didn’t answer and continued. “Did you happen to meet anyone named Brady or Caleb while visiting, whose picture I might have seen? Both are tall and extremely handsome.”

“Hmm, I wish I had. It would have definitely made the trip more interesting, but I’m not really sure if I could handle two men at one time.” She winked and smiled. “Why the sudden curiosity about Ireland and the handsome Brady and Caleb?”

The front door opened, distracting Jenna from her disappointing conversation.

“Dad and I are leaving now.” Her mother looked out the door.

“All right, Mom, thank you for coming today.”

“What’s going on here?” She glanced between Jenna and Sam.

“I was just asking Jenna the same thing,” Sam said. “I’m calling it a night too.” She stretched and forced a yawn. “You and I need to talk soon,” she whispered as she hugged Jenna. “And then maybe you can explain this conversation.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

Several hugs and kisses later, Jenna and her two favorite men were finally alone in the house.

“Okay, Jayden are you ready?” Tyler asked while swinging him up into his arms.

“Ready?” he repeated.

“Yes, Monkey, it’s time for a bath, then bed.”

“Aw, no fair,” he whined, and Jenna bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“That’s tough, little man. We’ve all had a long day, and your mamma needs her rest.” Tyler looked adoringly toward his wife and son and helped Jayden up the stairs for the nightly ritual of bath, bedtime story, tucking him in, and a kiss good night.

***

“He’s finally asleep,” she announced, joining Tyler in the living room again. Jayden had been abnormally hyper throughout the day, and putting him to bed took longer than usual.

“That’s a miracle. I thought he’d never sleep.” He moved over on the couch to make space so she could sit beside him. “How are you feeling?”

Tyler still looked worried, and she knew he wouldn’t take any chances with her recovery. “I’m fine; you can stop asking. I promise to let you know if I’m not.” She plopped on the couch and snuggled as close to him as possible. “And if you promise to be gentle with me, I was hoping we could catch up a little.”

“Are you serious?” He moaned. “It’s been way too long without you, and there is nothing more I would rather be doing right now. It’s all I think about. Hell, I’ve even dreamed about it.”

Tyler shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried adjusting himself to get more comfortable. He was definitely sporting a chubby, and she leaped at the chance to have him inside her again, so she was on top of him in no time. When she covered her mouth with his, he immediately responded. Their tongues wrestled and played with each other, and she moaned in desperation while wrapping her arms around his lean, muscular shoulders to deepen the kiss as far as they could. She had to touch him. She trailed her hands down his torso. She was on fire for him and had to feel him in her hands. She wanted him in her mouth, and then she wanted him inside as deep as he could go. She stroked his straining cock several times and lifted her hips to feel the friction against her.

“Easy now, Jenna. Any more of this and it’ll finish before it starts.” He was breathing hard and spoke through a clenched jaw to control himself.

“Now we wouldn’t want that.”

He growled his impatience, scooped her up, and carried her to the privacy of their bedroom.

“Tyler, wait.” She was breathless, and self-consciousness swept through her as he undressed her. Her body wasn’t the same since the accident. She was thinner from the horrible hospital food and being in a coma. She had scars from her surgery, and she was still tender in other spots, even though she didn’t look half as bad as when she’d first come to.

“What is it, Jenna?”

She blushed and felt a little silly all of a sudden. Since when had she ever been shy with him? The answer was never. “I’m different now,” she whispered. “With the scars, it’s probably not going to be very pretty to look at.”

He didn’t answer. Instead he continued to undress her until she stood before him completely nude. “Come with me.” He moved her in front of a long mirror and lifted her chin so she was forced to look at herself. “You’re beautiful, Jenna.”

His lips were close to her ear, and his breath was warm and soothing. It gave her a chill as she leaned into him. “I’m glad you think so.”

“You’re trim.” He continued trailing his hands from her hips up to cup her breasts. “And perky, perfect. God, Jenna, your breasts are just right the way they lay in my hands.” He tested their weight in each as he fondled them, stroking his thumbs across her hardened peaks.

“Tyler, don’t stop.” Breathless, and weak in the knees, she leaned into his embrace while he teased and tweaked her nipples. She reached back to stroke him, but he moved to stand in front of her instead. Starting with her feet, he gazed up her entire body with lust. Once he reached her eyes again, he said, “The scars are still healing and barely noticeable. You’ve been through hell, and you’re still so damn sexy.”

Before she knew it, the back of her legs hit the side of their bed, and he was lowering her onto it. He slid down her slick body, teasing her with his tongue until it finally hit her sweet spot, and she arched her hips forward with a moan.

“Yes, Tyler, yes.” She tightened her hands in his hair with a demand to make her come. She took a shuddering breath and let the sensation that Tyler created ride through her. She knew it wouldn’t take her long to achieve her ecstasy. His mouth was magnificent as he licked solid strokes and swirled his tongue around her hard nub. “That’s it.”

She moaned again and thrashed her head from side to side. She was so close. Her grip on him tightened and forced him to stay in the right spot. She thrust her hips repeatedly and watched as he devoured her. As she screamed his name, the climax hit her hard, but before the pulsing vibration of it finished, his pants were down and his cock thrust deep inside her. He was exactly where she needed him to be as they were finally one again.

He gave her a sexy smile and began to pump at a leisurely pace. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Love me, Tyler,” she whispered. “Fuck me. We’ll make love later over and over, but right now I need to feel you passionately.” She pressed her chest against his and rolled her hips to meet his thrusts at a faster pace. His cock filled her fully and was warm and slick with her juices. It was such a good kind of full.

“Oh, God, Jenna,” he moaned. “I can’t hold it any longer. I’m gonna come, baby.”

She reached between where they were joined to finger her clit. She felt no shame when taking her own pleasure, knowing the sight of it drove Tyler over the edge.

He impaled her all the way to the root of him, shuddering while his release filled her.

Her second climax hit and her eyes rolled back in her head. She kept them closed until her last shudder finally eased, and when she slowly opened them again, it was to get a glimpse of Brady.
What?

The vision of him startled her, but it also added more excitement. She had them both for an instant. Sweating and breathless, she covered her face as her heart rate slowed. “That was amazing.” And that was the complete and utter truth.

Later that night she tried hard not to overthink it. It wasn’t cheating. It was just a little imagination, right? Everyone had a highlight reel, and she couldn’t wait until the next time to see if it would happen again.

Chapter Thirteen

“Man that was good.” Tyler collapsed on the bed beside her. After round three of their lovemaking session, fatigue had begun to overtake them.

“It always has been good, Tyler. What makes it better now, I think, is that we know how it feels to think that we’d lost one another. We have a better understanding of how much love is here, and we appreciate each other that much more.”

“I couldn’t have said it better.” He smiled and caressed the side of her face. “But I’m curious. You said you knew how it felt to think that you’d lost me. You were so sure in the hospital that you even assumed we were all dead when you saw me. It’s a scary thought, and I was wondering why. What had you so convinced?”

She didn’t know how she could explain herself without sounding crazy. Hell, the whole situation seemed crazy to her. She didn’t really want to talk about it, ever, so she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m not sure I can explain it to you properly. The mind can be a pretty powerful force sometimes.”

Okay, that was stupid, but she never did that great while under pressure. “I honestly don’t know, Tyler. When I woke up to see my mother waiting beside me, it was like a déjà vu, like I’d lived it before. The first time I thought I woke up, she told me about the accident and said that you didn’t make it.” She looked up to see his reaction. “Don’t you see? I was convinced you were dead, convinced I’d lived miserably for over a year afterward, but then I woke up in a hospital room with my mother, and a man I thought was dead walked in. It was a cruel illusion, a dream, and I’m not sure why I had it. Am I making any sense? Because, if I am, you might want to explain it to me, please? I’m still so confused.”

He laughed, as though he was trying to make light of her explanation. Hugging her tighter, he said, “You’re a smart woman, Jenna, so I’ve never had any doubt that you have a powerful mind, but I don’t think I could explain it for you. It’d be nice to have an explanation, though. No matter how confusing it may be.”

He was obviously trying to make her feel better by saying that, although she knew none of it made any sense. There were so many unanswered questions, building her curiosity, especially concerning Brady. Tyler was alive, so she should just let all thoughts of Brady go, but she felt she still had some kind of unexplainable connection to him. Yes, Tyler was back, but where the hell had Brady come from? She just couldn’t believe she could have made him up. It was almost as if he was out there somewhere; she could feel it. Or thought she did. What frightened her the most was not knowing. If she sought out the answers, discovered Brady was real and found him, what would she do? She was a married woman, and she still loved her husband despite loving Brady as well. Did that make her a bad person?

Tyler was quiet, allowing her time to deal with her private thoughts. Thinking he’d fallen asleep, Jenna got comfortable, hoping sleep would take her along with him now that she was well ravished and fatigued.

“So you lived miserably for over a year, huh?”

She jumped at his unexpected comment. “It’s not funny,” she mumbled. He was in a teasing mood. She could feel the slight vibration of his quiet laughter.

“You’re right, it’s not. I’m sorry.”

“Good night, Tyler,” she whispered lazily, hoping he’d take the hint. “I love you.”

She was in a white room, stumbling through a maze. Curiosity consumed her with every step.

At the end, she discovered a large red door. The knob turned by itself and the door opened, but she couldn’t see what was on the other side. The image was fuzzy, and the floor beneath her started to move, startling her.

She leaped through the door and found that she was no longer in her pajamas but wearing a formfitting dress and holding a basket full of goodies. She was standing in the main lobby of Tyler’s law firm.

Ah, one of our special lunches
, she thought. She liked where this was headed. They never did get around to eating very much, unless it was something on their bodies, and they did make good use out of Tyler’s desk. She loved his private quarters at work.

The main office was empty. She looked at the calendar where a Saturday was circled boldly in red. It would explain the emptiness. Slowly making her way into his private office, she found he wasn’t alone.

“Jenna?” he called out in shock. Pulling away from his desk, he rushed to her side.

Ignoring him, she looked across the room and concentrated on his friend instead.

Sitting on the edge of his desk was a beautiful woman with long legs and flowing blonde hair.

Who was she?

Narrowing her eyes, Jenna looked at Tyler. “Did I come at a bad time?”

“Don’t be silly, Jenna,” Tyler said, raking a hand through his hair. He stepped in front of her to block her view.

The woman approached and placed one hand on his shoulder. Pressing herself against him, she said, “I hope you don’t mind sharing him.”

Jenna’s mouth dropped open, and then she became angry. If this woman knew what was good for her, she’d better get out of Jenna’s sight. Jenna was ready to punch the smug look off her pretty little face.

Deep, throaty, feminine laughter filled the room as the leggy blonde escorted Tyler back toward his desk. Jenna lunged forward in anger, but she was blocked by something that felt like a thick sheet of glass.
What the hell?
On top of her anger, she had to be subjected to cruelty now as well? A clear barrier stood between them, and Jenna couldn’t get through it. It was a sick, twisted joke at her expense. Trapped in a transparent box, she couldn’t move.

Standing there like an angry idiot, she watched as her husband had sex with someone else on top of his desk. That was their desk, damn it. How could he do this to her?

They zoomed away all of a sudden, and she was back in the white room, but this time it wasn’t a maze. It was just clear and bright.

“I’m sorry ye had to see that, love,” Brady whispered, taking her hand.

She gasped upon hearing the familiar voice and started to cry, realizing how much she’d longed to be near him again. “What are you doing here?”

Brady laughed and kissed the top of her head. “I always will be with ye, love, as long as ye let me.”

“But why is this happening? Am I going crazy?”

Brady laughed again and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. After gazing deeply into her eyes, he pulled her closer to him. “No, Jenna, ye’r not goin’ crazy, love. This is just a glimpse of what’s meant to be.”

She sat up in bed, still feeling angry and betrayed, but most of all even more confused. Her heart raced rapidly and mild panic set in.

Brady had come back, but it was just a dream. Maybe she really was crazy? Good God.

It was just a dream
, she quietly recited as her heart rate slowed. She was alone, the bed empty beside her, and she plopped back down to her pillows with a thump while trying to will herself to calm down.

Tyler wasn’t dumb enough to cheat on her, was he?

***

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Sitting at the kitchen table, Tyler was way too chipper. “Have you been up long?”

“Not really.” Coffee was all she needed. Maybe if she had a good fix of caffeine, her uneasiness would go away. The crazy, stupid dream had her all worked up.

“Good, you looked so comfortable I wanted to let you sleep in.”

That shocked her a little. “Really? I looked comfortable to you?”

“Weren’t you?”

And just like that, Jenna went from being surprised to touched. “Thanks, Tyler, it was sweet of you to think of me.” She leaned forward to give him a quick peck. “I just had a bad dream, that’s all. It’s not a big deal.”

“I hope it wasn’t about me again,” he said as he stood.

“It was, actually.” Jenna was on the defensive despite her best efforts, and her anger couldn’t help but come out as she thought about him with that other woman.
See? It’s crazy, right?

Tyler wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head while he whispered an apology. “You don’t have to talk about it, Jenna. I just hope I wasn’t dead this time.”

She stiffened and pulled away. Narrowing her eyes, she called him a smartass before going to join Jayden to watch his morning cartoons.

“It’s nice to have you back.” Tyler chuckled. “I missed that temper of yours and all.”

***

That afternoon they sat in the park, watching Jayden play from a short distance away. While he was busy on the playset, Jenna and Tyler enjoyed a leisurely afternoon hand in hand.

“So I’m assuming that you’re probably going back to work shortly.” Although she loved having him home, she could tell Tyler itched to get back into the swing of things. She was curious as to how much time she would have left with him. Tyler’s job was demanding, her days were lonely, and he was exhausted at night after working long hours during the day.

“I see my going back to work isn’t a happy subject.”

“It’s not like that. It’s just with the long hours I miss this, the quality time. I understand they’re a part of the job. I just wish it wasn’t so often. I miss you.”

“I know, I feel the same way, but I’ll be with you for the rest of this week, and on Monday I’ll see what I can do about not working so late. It might be hard to do, depending on how much I need to catch up on, but I’ll still try. Who knows? Everything considered, maybe they’ll all take it easy on me and I’ll be able to start coming home for dinner every now and again.”

“Says the man that works way too hard and loves it.” She laughed, having the suspicion that more often than not, Tyler worked the late hours voluntarily. He loved being a lawyer and got swept up in paperwork, going through files, putting together case after case, and whatever else lawyers did in their offices and the courtroom.

“But here’s to wishful thinking.” He raised his hand and mocked a cheer in her direction.

She sighed before smiling. “It never hurts to dream, does it? What can I say? I love you, and I married a man who is passionate about what he does.”

“I love you too.”

After the three of them shared a picnic lunch, Jayden was off to play again. There were constant interruptions from friends with well-wishes for her recovery, to Tyler’s obvious surprise.

“Wow, I never realized how many people you knew,” he said.

“I do have a good social circle, don’t I? Most of them are from Jayden’s playgroup and the park; some are neighbors. He’s fabulous at making friends.”

“Really?” He feigned shock.

“Oh, shut up.” She laughed, really enjoying these moments with him, but it also made her think about how much she missed this too. Their time together would be very different when he returned to work, and she dreaded spending the next week without him.

Her dream came to mind then, a replay of Brady’s last words
“This is just a glimpse of what’s meant to be.”
An image of Tyler and the leggy blonde came back to her, making her grimace. She just couldn’t let it go for some reason.

“Are you all right?” He looked worried.

“I’m fine.”

He gave her a skeptical look. “Okay, I think we’ve had enough for today. I’ll get Jayden, and we’ll go home.”

“Wait, let’s just give him a couple more minutes.” He looked at her with disapproval, clearly ready to argue. “I’m fine, Tyler, and a few more minutes isn’t going to hurt anyone. Just look at him. He’s having so much fun. Do you really want to pull him away? It’s been hard on him too, so let’s let him enjoy his time here a little while longer.”

He sighed in defeat.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, then changed the subject to the question that had been bothering her. “Speaking of work, do you happen to know of any gorgeous young lawyers with great legs and beautiful, long, blonde hair?” She tried to act casual while reminding herself it had been no more than a silly dream.

“What?”

“You heard me; now can I get an answer? Young, blonde, great legs,” she repeated, going through the basics. She might have some competition out there she never knew about.

“Should I? No, Jenna, I don’t believe there are any lawyers at work that fit that description. Why?”

“Clients?” She felt nauseous.

“Nope, but now you have me curious. If it makes you feel better, I could ask around.”

She swatted at him playfully, and they both laughed. The whole thing was ridiculous, really, and it felt good to laugh at what an idiot she was being. She felt better already.

“Should I ask why there is a sudden interest in gorgeous blondes?”

She felt like a dummy for bringing it up.
Stupid dream.
Shaking her head, she could feel her cheeks heat in embarrassment, especially after finding out that no one at Tyler’s office matched the woman’s description.