Bittersweet Surrender (36 page)

“That smells awesome.”

“I've been known to cook now and then. Don't let the word get out, though.” She grinned and he smiled back.

“So what's wrong with you?”

“I had a migraine all day. I'm much better now, though.”

“Did you tell your face that?”

“Ouch.”

She laughed. “Sorry, you just look a little beat up.”

“I always look like that once it's over. It drains me.” He stepped closer to her. “I'm not contagious, though.”

His bold move threw her off. One hand leaning on the countertop, she took a step back. “What exactly does that mean?” She tossed a nervous laugh out there that made her want to laugh all the more.

“It means I'm not afraid to get close to you.”

“Scott, are you taking serious drugs?”

He stepped closer. “No. I've just done a lot of thinking today, and I'm tired of playing games.”

“Games?”

“Yes. You, me, games.”

She stopped and he stopped right in front of her. “I've agonized over this all day, and I'm just going to lay it out there to deal with it.” He gently caressed her hand into his own, pulled it up to his lips and brushed light kisses over every knuckle while Carly stood there, goose bumpy and speechless. “I love you, Carly Westlake,” he whispered. “I don't know why I couldn't see it before, but I do.”

The ring,
she told herself.
The ring.

She opened her mouth to comment, but he placed his fingers lightly over her mouth. “Not yet. Let me finish before I lose my nerve.”

She gulped. Audibly.

“I'm not sure when it happened, I just know that it did. Period. It may seem weird, the two of us in that light. Maybe it could never be more than friendship for you. I don't know. Don't respond to it right now. I want you to think about it. If this presents a problem in our working relationship, I'll leave.”

He brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Just think it over, will you?”

She stared at him, simply swallowed, and gave a slight nod.

His arms dropped to her waist and he pulled her closer to him. “Thank you,” he whispered into her hair before his lips melted onto hers like marshmallow cream on chocolate.

The ring . . .

She was broken and scarred. Yet Scott's arms wrapped around her as though she were something precious meant to be savored. Soft and inviting, his mouth moved over hers, searching, longing, hoping. She could feel the light stubble on his face, smell the lingering scent of soap.

The ring . . .

Shock gave way to bittersweet surrender as she yielded to more than just a kiss. Her past with all its fears and disappointments dissolved to an uncertain future, knowing God was in full control and He would see her through, no matter how many disappointments life threw her way.

The . . .

His lips reluctantly pulled away from hers. His left hand cupped around the back of her head; he nuzzled his face into her hair. “I love you, Carly,” he whispered. “With all my heart, I love you.”

Carly's legs trembled; chills covered her body and she prayed she would never wake up from this dream.

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace before he grabbed her hand and led her into the living room. She only knew it was wonderful.

“Now what do we do?” He tried to get her to sit down on the sofa beside him.

She shook her head. “I need time to think, okay? My head is spinning.”

“Before you go, I want to give you this.” He handed her a Natalie Grant CD. “Promise me you'll listen to the song ‘The Real Me.' Promise?” His eyes searched hers, and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

She nodded.

“Thank you.” He bent over and kissed the top of her head. “See you later.”

She practically raced out the door before she could change her mind. Another kiss and she'd drag him to the marriage altar before he knew what hit him.

She remembered she hadn't asked him about the checkbook. And the ring! She'd forgotten about the ring!

Deep breath.
She'd just have to ask him once he got back to work. There had to be a reasonable explanation. He couldn't kiss her like that and betray her, too, could he?

Once she was home, she wondered how she
had gotten there. Like the characters in those old Dial commercials, she was pretty sure she'd floated. Fortunately for her, she only had to watch one episode of
Murder, She Wrote
before Magnolia went to bed. Carly didn't want to talk tonight. She needed time to think. Lots of time.

After getting ready for bed, she slipped the CD that Scott gave her into the player, then eased between her sheets and closed her eyes so she could concentrate on the words. The gentle music poured over her thirsty soul like a warm shower. The lyrics spoke of the veiled person she was to others but how God could see the real her—the one hiding deep inside—and how He loved her still. He had a plan for her life and if she would but let Him reach into the core of her, He would help her through it all.

The words worked through her, kneading her soul with truth, reaching into dark corners that hadn't seen the light of day since Gary left her. Jesus' healing touch radiated over raw pain, warming, easing the agony with promise of brighter tomorrows.

Tears drenched her hot face and clouded her swollen eyes, slits through which she could barely see. She continued to play the song, over and over, trying to comprehend the truth, the awesomeness of it all.

Jesus saw the real her. The weak, broken, and frightened whole of her.

She was weak, but He was strong.

She was broken, but He was the potter.

She was frightened, but He had it all under control.

She was no longer alone. He was with her. Always had been. Through it all, He never left. Gary did that.

Her heart had hardened to the truth. A wall of stone. Deep down, she had blamed God for everything. He could have stopped the illness that drove Gary away, but He didn't.

She knew that bad things happened to good people. But they were other good people. Not her.

Or so she'd thought.

So when it happened, the foundation of her faith fell out from under her. She hadn't meant for it to but it had.

Still, God was faithful.

She knelt by her bed and poured out her heart to Him. Her guilt, her sorrows, her fears. When she finished, she climbed back into bed, feeling more lighthearted than she'd felt in months.

Scott knew her so well. He'd known all along what she needed. Just the way he'd always known. She saw that now. The truth slowly seeped through her thick head while her dry, broken, and dusty spirit sprang to life.

Scott saw her as she was—through Jesus' eyes—and loved her still.

Could this be happening? Was it possible? Her heart had refused to believe that love would come to her again. She had thought when it did come, it would be with Jake. But she had been wrong. For now she knew in her heart what had been there for so long.

Scott Hammond loved her and she loved him!

“Okay if I leave now?” Katelyn poked her
head into Carly's office.

Carly glanced at the clock. Hard to believe another workday was almost over. “Sure. Got big plans for tonight?”

Katelyn just smiled. “One never knows what possibilities may lurk around the corner.”

“So true. Go enjoy yourself.” Carly waved good-bye and smiled inwardly at the carefree days of youth. Katelyn had been doing a great job for them, and Carly had grown quite fond of her.

“We need to talk,” Scott said when he stepped into the room. “Would you be willing to come to my house for dinner tonight? It's hard to talk at your place with Magnolia there.”

Carly hesitated. He no doubt wanted to talk about their future. Not exactly the kind of “possibilities” Katelyn was talking about. She'd wanted to dream a little longer, but decided tonight she'd better tell him the truth about Ivy and C. J. Might as well get it over with. She needed to settle this before her heart twisted around him even more. And though she'd rather forget the ring, she knew she had to confront him about it.

“Okay, that would be fine. I need to talk to you about a few things too.” He seemed surprised at that but said nothing. “Want me to pick up something?”

“No, I'll get it,” he said. “How about seven?”

“Sounds good.”

They talked a few more minutes before closing shop, and Scott left. On her way upstairs, Carly's stomach was in knots and she prayed once again that God would give her the strength to deal with all this.

“Magnolia, I won't be staying here for dinner.”

“Oh?”

“I'm going to Scott's house. We need to talk over some things.”

Magnolia bit her lip. “I need to talk to you about something too, dear. Would you sit in the living room with me?”

“Sure.”
Must be a full moon or something. Everyone is acting weird today.

They settled on the sofa. Magnolia grabbed Carly's hand. “I hope this doesn't bother you too much, what with Ivy and your relationship, all that. But the pastor talked to me today. Told me there were a few other people in the church who wanted the coffee shop named after their relatives. Seems it could start a problem in the church if they name it after a person, so he thought it might be best to have the teens come up with a fun name for the place. So we're not going to name it after Ivy.” Disappointment lined Magnolia's face, but she was giving in to the turn of events with grace.

“I'm sorry, Magnolia. I know that would have meant a lot to you. But you know Ivy—she never liked the limelight. She would prefer it this way, I think,” Carly assured her.

Magnolia brightened. “Do you think so?”

Carly smiled and nodded.

Magnolia hesitated. “I believe you're right. I don't know what got into me. It seemed so important to have her name on that. It was a pride issue, no doubt about it. I'll have to apologize to Scott. He was right all along.”

Carly bent over and kissed Magnolia on the cheek. “You are such a special lady. I hope I can be just like you when I grow up.” And she meant that. Well, for the most part.

“Oh, dear.” The older woman chuckled and waved her hand. “You can tell Scott for me, if you want to, and I'll talk to him later, let him know there are no hard feelings.”

“You're amazing. I'll be back soon,” Carly said with a final squeeze to Magnolia's hand.

Carly breathed a prayer of thankfulness for the way things had turned out. This way Magnolia didn't have to know the truth about Ivy. Why bring her pain at this point? Nothing she could do would change the past. Ivy was gone, and unfortunately, she'd left a trail of sadness behind. Why not spare Magnolia the sorrow, if possible?

“Mmm, it sure smells good in here,” Carly
said as she stepped into Scott's house. The air was perfumed with the tangy scent of garlic and tomatoes.

“Why, thank you, kind lady,” he said with a slight bow.

She followed him into the dining room where the table was decorated with linens and flickering candles. “Scott, this looks wonderful.”

“Thank you, again.”

While she helped him bring the salad bowl, hot lasagna that still bubbled in its serving dish, and garlic bread to the table, she told him about Magnolia's change of heart over the coffeehouse name.

“Boy, that's a relief.”

Over their meal, they talked of days gone by, work, and trivial matters. Carly's stomach was in knots, but she tried to stay calm. He would say what he needed to say, and she could share her piece. Whatever happened once the air was cleared, happened.

After dinner they took their coffee into the living room and settled in for whatever it was Scott had on his mind. He sat beside her on the sofa.

“Why don't you go ahead and tell me what it is you wanted to talk about.”

Carly bit her lip, then leaned over and reached for her handbag, while Scott looked on with interest. “I know I shouldn't have been snooping. I didn't mean to, really. I was looking for your tax paperwork to bring over to you while you were sick and—”

“You were looking in my desk?”

The expression on Scott's face sent a spurt of panic through her.

“Yeah.” She opened her bag. “And I found something I wanted to ask you about.” She unzipped the compartment in her handbag and pulled out the velvet bag holding the ring. Scott's eyes grew wide as walnuts, causing more fear to shoot through Carly. “Where did you get this?”

He hesitated as though she'd caught him red-handed. One look in his face and all her hopes and dreams came crashing down once again.

“Do you know something about this?” he asked.