Bittersweet Symphony (The Damaged Souls series Book 2) (14 page)

“It’s not much but I wanted you to know that no matter what, you will always be the most important star in the sky for me.” As he traced the line of the necklace, pausing long enough to tap each diamond, the sexiest crooked smile he’d ever given me surfaced. It made me wonder if he realized just how much being with him—like this—meant. “I know you belong to the world, Caylee. But also know, you shine for me. You give me hope. You make even the darkest moment brighter.”

Just thinking about it now caused a lump to lodge in my throat. The kiss that proceeded didn’t overshadow the sweetness of his emotions or sentiment. If anything, it captured how I felt about him perfectly.

Although, where he saw me in that light, believing I was some heavenly body sent to love him, he did the same for me.

If I were his star, he was my moon—the pull of who he was irresistible. Just like the ocean, I was drawn to him, found comfort in his presence as it stilled the noise in my soul.

I smiled secretly to myself, never imagining that this was where I would be so many years after. Now that I was, there was nowhere else I’d rather be.

“Don’t say anything,” Cooper interrupted, his breath warm against my ear. “Just get up and follow me out. Okay?”

He didn’t give me a chance to shoot him a quizzical look. With no other words or comment, he rose and disappeared back up the aisle to the exit.

“Is he okay?” Rebecca asked, craning her neck to get a better look at the retreating Cooper. “Do we . . .?”

I shook my head. Gesturing that we’d return soon, I rushed after my cryptic boyfriend. My brain felt like I had a hamster on crack running non-stop on its wheel.

Had something happened?

A trigger?

Was he okay?

Breaking out into the empty auditorium foyer, I scanned the space and caught a glimpse of Cooper at the far end of the hallway. He crooked his finger, beckoning me to follow.

How the hell did he get over there so quick?

“Cooper?” I called out, exhilaration kicking in. He was fine, if the mischievous look he’d thrown my way had anything to say about it. But that wasn’t what had my step quicken. It was the feeling of adrenaline coursing through me from this impromptu game of tag.

It had been the hungry flame in his stare.

The heavy click of a door opening alerted me to his location. He’d disappeared into the staircase that connected the different levels of the performing arts hall.

Was he lost?

Or was something else on his mind?

Praying that I wasn’t suddenly in some cheesy horror flick where the naïve female raced head first into a dark, dangerous stairwell, I pushed against the metal security bar. Cool air hit me immediately.

“Cooper?” I didn’t know whether my voice shook from nerves or excitement.

An arm shot out and wrapped around my waist, followed shortly by another guiding me back against the brick wall. Cooper’s body pressed hard and firm over mine—his hand lowered to the hem of my dress, his fingers digging lightly into my thigh.

Something had lit a fire under him and I knew, just knew, whatever happened next had the potential of setting the world ablaze.

“Do you know how difficult you’ve made it for me tonight?” he muttered, his lips scalding against my neck. “How hard it’s been to sit patiently in the audience, begging for the clock to fast forward so I could get you the hell out of here and back to where I want you . . . need you.”

I tried to answer, but couldn’t. All I could hear—focus on—was the insane way his fingers teased my leg, causing me to clench and squirm, distracting me from any possibility of coherent thought.

Rational Caylee screamed from somewhere—demanding the need for prudence—that at any moment someone could come bursting through the door and catch us.

Aroused Caylee had other plans, however.

Like the heated pressure of his mouth now journeying up my neck, nipping at my ear before capturing my lips . . . I didn’t care about the consequences other than, if we didn’t douse the tension building between us, I would explode.

All I could think about was feeling him inside me—right here—right now. It was the only surety I knew. It was the only thing that could make this moment, this night, perfect.

Sliding my hand between us, I rubbed my palm over his hard length, reveling in Cooper’s surprised grunt. Maybe he hadn’t completely thought this through, believing I’d be the one to put a stop to his sexy seduction. One of us had to have common sense, after all.

Unfortunately . . . or should I say fortunately, that person wouldn’t be me.

If he wanted to stop, he’d have to be the one to say it, because I was claiming temporary insanity. Or maybe, for the first time in forever, I was doing something incredibly smart.

Right.

“Caylee,” he mouthed, his voice hitching as I slightly squeezed and felt him harden more.

“What was it you said before?” I teased, loving the power I had over him. My tongue darted out, licking the seams of his mouth. My teeth grazed over his bottom lip. “Something about not saying anything.”

“Mm-hmm,’ he replied, pressing his hips into my palm. His own hands didn’t stop moving, cupping my behind as he switched us around, his own back against the wall now as I leaned into him.

Unzipping his fly, I murmured softly as I peered up into his lust-glazed eyes. “Do you know how hard—” I traced my fingers over the hard ridge pressing out from his pants for emphasis. “It’s been to sit next to
you
all night?  Knowing that all I needed . . .” I licked his lips again, not once breaking eye contact. “Everything I wanted was right here . . . just you and me.”

Cooper released a barely audible whimper as I reluctantly moved my hand and stepped back enough to cup his face—holding him still so he could see me utter my next sentence.

“I love you, Cooper Hensley. And as scary as that might be, it’s nothing compared to what might happen if I don’t have my way with you right now.”

Bless his heart, the man actually laughed. “Have your way with me?” he gently teased and rested his hand lightly on my hips. “Do I have a choice?”

I cocked my eyebrow. “Is there somewhere else you’d rather be?”

The way his fingers dug into my body, slowly inching up my dress, I knew my answer. The building could tumble down around us and this would still be inevitable.

The following minutes were a flurry of movements—from passion-filled kisses that caused my toes to curl to unwrapping the condom to that blessed moment when my head fell back, Cooper driving deep into me, pinning me to the wall.

Rocking against him, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, all I could do was hold onto his shoulders, my head resting against his as we let go.

It was impossible to think . . . to breathe . . . to pay any kind of attention to anything but the frenzy crashing over us. With each glorious thrust, I tried to speak—to somehow find some way of vocalizing what I was feeling.

I tried uttering his name, my lips parting as I forced myself to form the letter C.

I tried gripping his shirt . . . his arms . . . the back of his neck.

Anything to find some kind of anchor before the approaching orgasm threatened to break over me—us—and swallow me whole.

I didn’t know whether it was the thrill and recklessness of public sex, but this would definitely go down in history as the best sex ever. It would be something I’d analyze later, maybe even with Rebecca, but for now . . . the only thing rising up out of me was an almighty moan—every drop, every syllable, every ounce of pleasure too big to contain any longer.

“Cooper—” I managed to push out, my body tensing.

I looked in his eyes and there was a second of clarity where I saw straight into him—saw him as clearly as I knew my own name. There were no defenses, no walls keeping me out. There were no deflections or withholding.

They said the eyes were the windows to a person’s soul.

What I found there made my heart ache and cry in joy all at the same time.

He loved me. Cooper might not always find the right words or feel brave enough to say them out loud, but he wasn’t holding back now.

He’d let me in—an all access pass to his heart.

Despite what he believed about himself, there was only one way to describe what I found.

Beauty.

Cooper Hensley was beautiful and trusted me with another piece of who he was. Here in the stairwell, a short distance from an auditorium filled with strangers, he’d just given me another gift.

That alone made me want to scream from the rooftop.

“Caylee,” he uttered, his own release beating down on him. “I . . .” Cooper squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating for all he was worth.

I moved—I don’t know how—but whatever it did, a pulse of fiery energy rocked through me, and I tightened my thighs around his hips. There was no controlling it—my body in the throes of unadulterated bliss.

“Fu—ck,” Cooper drawled, maintaining his relentless drive until he collapsed over me, the added weight comforting. A soft chuckling bubbled out of him as we both struggled to capture our breath.

If we could’ve amplified our heartbeats, they would resemble the techno dance music he sometimes liked jogging to.

Leaning his forehead against mine, his hair damp with sweat, Cooper said nothing. He simply laughed.

“I’m hoping that’s not an indication of my performance,” I whispered, having enough strength to trail my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. That was it, though. Something told me if he were to set me down right now, my legs would crumble underneath me.

It was Cooper’s turn to mess with my hair, brushing it aside so he could touch my skin. “Only a fool would declare what just happened as anything other than sheer perfection.” Another chuckle rippled through him. “I just never expected . . . that.”

“I surprised you, did I?” When I tried to lower my legs, Cooper shook his head, holding me in place.

“And rocked my freaking world.”

“Well, I do aim to please.” I kissed his lips, savoring the saltiness. He was intoxicating.

“Is it bad that for the life of me, I can’t bring myself to move?”

It was my turn to smile. “Only if it’s bad that I’m happily content staying in the position for . . . I don’t know . . . forever?” Something I’d said pleased him as I felt him move inside me. It was the only excuse for the brazenness that suddenly flared again.

I guess Hussy Caylee liked sitting in the control seat.

Not giving Cooper a chance to reply, I leaned forward, closing the distance between our mouths—not completely kissing him. I hinted at it . . . teased even. When he lurched forward to steal one, I pulled back at the last second.

“You know what else I’ve been thinking about all night?” My foot found the ground and, while I wanted to mourn that this impromptu rendezvous was coming to end, I knew it was just the beginning to what the rest of the night had in store.

“Do I even dare to guess?” Cooper watched my face as he quickly zipped himself back up.

“Well,” I drawled, sliding my panties back on and readjusting my dress. I gave it another hour before both items would be tossed on the floor of my bedroom, discarded. “I love this necklace you bought me and I was thinking of modeling it with the perfect outfit.” When I tugged at the neckline of my dress, revealing a tiny peek at the black-laced bra underneath, I knew I had his attention. “This wasn’t the only thing I bought special for the occasion.”

Cooper’s eyes roamed up and down my body, his gaze narrowing like he was trying to peel away my clothes with the power of his mind. It made my skin tingled just imagining his thoughts.

They were probably as descriptive and lewd as mine.

“Let’s go,” he answered gruffly, tugging me behind him as he left the stairwell.

“What about Rebecca and Marty?” I cast a backward glance, offering no resistance as Cooper raced us toward the parking lot where his car was.

“Not my problem.”

“Cooper!” I exclaimed. My protests fell on deaf ears as he whirled around and kissed me—scrambling my thoughts. Again.

“They can find a way home,” I murmured, touching my lips gently, a dreamy inflection in my voice.

“Good girl.” Cooper chuckled, helping me into the car.

It was a miracle that we made it back to the house in one piece—divine providence that we weren’t pulled over for speeding.

But all of that didn’t matter.

Everything melted away the instant my dress dropped, revealing just how right Rebecca had been.

The sexy lingerie, heels, and diamond necklace brought a smile to Cooper’s face.

He then proved what an appreciative boyfriend he could be as he showed me I was the most precious thing in the galaxy.

Like the stars and the moon—we blazed brightly until we greeted the sun hours later.

Chapter Fifteen

Cooper

She’d been right. Good god, had she ever been right.

There’d been no holding back once we had the privacy needed to honor the thoughts racing through my mind. All I could fixate on was getting her stripped down and bare—the diamond at her throat sparkling as I feasted on her naked body.

I’d said it before and repeating it didn’t diminish the impact in the slightest—Caylee Sawyer was a goddess amongst women. I would never be able to get enough of her. I would always return, begging for more.

And right now? Her seductive mouth was kissing its way over my satiated body—stopping only to savor a certain favored spot, her tongue sweeping across my skin like she viewed me as her most favorite dessert.

I wasn’t going to front, it made me hard as fuck, which was saying something because there’d been no limit to her own appetite tonight. Something had lit a fire beneath her and Caylee couldn’t keep her hands off me.

Just like now, all that was required from me was to lie back and enjoy the hell out of it. With my eyes closed, I couldn’t help tensing up as goose bumps spread like wild fire over my skin.

It was erotic.

Unable to suppress the moans bubbling up from within me, I fought to keep still, not wanting to break the magical spell she was casting like an expert. Fuck, she knew exactly how to turn me inside out. My fingers twitched to take over—to flip her onto her back so I could have a turn—the curves of her body my favorite playground.

Just the thought sparked an idea for a song, but I pushed it aside. The only music I was interested in was the melody we created. If I could capture the way Caylee seemed to intuitively know exactly how I liked being touched, and add lyrics to it, it would rock the damn world to its core and shove everyone into instantaneous heat.

There’d be a population spike unlike anything seen before—
Fifty Shades
included, all because Caylee didn’t ever hold back. She took charge and seized without fear.

She’d have made a formidable Marine.

As her mouth teased my stomach, her hair acting like a curtain over my cock, I held my breath, waiting in barely constrained anticipation over which direction she’d head toward. Either way, I wasn’t complaining.

Upward.

Caylee’s tongue licked at my nipple and her teeth grazed it. “You know what would be sexy?” she murmured, her tight body up against mine.

“How long do you have for my answer?” I chuckled. “Because a few ideas come to mind.” Wrapping my arm loosely around her waist, I anchored her to me. There wasn’t any chance of Caylee going anywhere, but it didn’t stop some irrational part of me who worried this was a dream. If it was, I didn’t want to wake up.

This was the closest to heaven I’d ever been.

I’d kill to keep this—to keep her.

“I think you should get a piercing.” Warm breath fanned across my chest as Caylee tugged on my nipple again, heightening the sensitivity that punched a shot of desire straight to my groin.

My fingers skirted across the small of her back. It was her turn to shudder. “Seriously?” I peered down, placing a soft kiss on the top of Caylee’s head. “I wouldn’t have pictured you as a piercing girl.”

“Usually I’m not, but you’ve inspired me.” Propped up on her elbow, Caylee’s gaze was tinged with desire. “And these tattoos . . . I can’t decide which one’s my favorite.” Biting on her lip, she studied the ones on my chest closely. “I’ve always wanted one . . . something small and girly, but I’m too much of a chicken.”

“Needles?” It was a common fear when getting ink.

“Not really. I mean, I don’t like them, but no. My thing is getting one and it not turning out how I want it. Then I’m stuck with something I hate, a reminder forever of a bad choice.”

That would be the other reason many hesitated over.

“Well, if you’re ever brave enough, we can always go together. We can even go see the artist who did the one on my arm.”

Her gaze darted over to the incomplete sleeve that stretched from my right shoulder to my elbow.

“When did you get this one?” Caylee pointed to the Virgin Mary that I still wanted filled with some color.

It was too late to take back my comments, realizing my error. Out of all the ink I had, this was by far the more personal. While I didn’t necessarily believe in God—my anger still too great to consider his reality—I did believe in angels.

Go figure.

Memories stirred of those first few months after being injured and the one person who’d somehow managed to reach into the dark pit of despair I’d buried myself in. She’d shone a light amongst the shadows and demons, single handedly pulling me out to where I wasn’t trying to actively kill myself.

Sgt. Susan Ramsey.

The Virgin Mary tattoo in the act of praying seemed a fitting tribute. For the first time in a while, I wondered how she was, whether she was still in Germany, or if she’d retired from the Corp.

Regardless, I owed her my life.

If it hadn’t been for her patience and sheer stubbornness in outwitting me, I wouldn’t be here, with Caylee in my arms, a semblance of normalcy I didn’t believe possible for me anymore.

Susan was a saint in my eyes.

“You disappeared again.”

I blinked. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

“About?” The look of hope in her expression that I’d opened up made my chest tighten. It always killed me when I watched it dim, the deflated hope that always followed when I dodged her genuinely wanting to understand.

I wanted to tell her. I really did. Part of me knew it would feel like nothing short of a relief. Unfortunately, there was an equally vocal part who refused to let go of the burden, no matter how fucking heavy it was to carry now.

She knew. I could see it as plain as day, written all over her face. She’d asked, and now I was sidestepping. Caylee did her best to disguise her disappointed—adding it to the pile of previous moments—and it crushed me.

For a Marine, I was damned coward.

Wetting my lips, I closed my eyes, begging for my next breath to bring me the courage I needed.

Caylee chose to change the subject. I just didn’t know whose feelings she was sparing—hers or mine. Maybe even both.

“If I ever decide to get a tattoo, I definitely want to go with you. Seeing as how you’re sooooo experienced and all.” Any discouragement flashed away and in its place was her usual fire and sparkle. It didn’t help my guilt, however. “These really are beautiful, Cooper. Especially this one.” Her head titled to the side as she mouthed the words ‘
mi vida loca’.

It was my turn to nod. “My crazy life.”

“Yep,” she exhaled, growing still and quiet again as Caylee rested her head back on my chest. I could all but hear the cogs inside her head churning.

It was now or never. “Ask your questions, sweetheart.”

Caylee traced some kind of invisible pattern across my skin, but she hesitated when I spoke—like I’d said the last thing she’d expected. I had.

“It’s okay, Cooper. I’m happy to simply lie here with you. I’m fine.”

Brushing aside a few strands of her hair with my mouth, I kissed her temple. “I am, too. Go ahead. Ask.”

The tremble in her hand signaled the war battling inside her, making me feel like a complete asshole. This was my fault. No one should ever be scared talking to someone they loved. I’d made her second-guess things—second-guess me.

I’d do my damnedest to make sure that ended tonight.

I might not like talking about shit, but it wasn’t worth the head games it did on my girl. Caylee needed to know—that no matter what—there was nothing to be afraid of.

I wasn’t a beast to walk on eggshells around, at least not with her. She’d changed that so it was time for me to start proving it.

My pride could withstand it.

Her heart, and frankly mine, couldn’t.

“Cooper,” she murmured.

She wasn’t going to take the risk so I made it for her. It was the least I could do. “Right after the ambush, they flew me out to Germany once I stabilized. I spent a few months there, recovering, getting strong enough to be transported Stateside. Those were the darkest moments I’ve ever experienced. I’m not proud of how I acted, of the anger I threw about like I was somehow entitled to it. Doctors tried helping me, but there was only so much they could do, after all . . . some of the worst wounds were emotional and psychological. I knew they were trained for it . . . knew how to handle soldiers who fought against healing.”

“You didn’t want help?” I heard her gasp. It reminded me of a similar one my mother had released when she’d first seen me at the airport. It contained disbelief and heartbreak.

“No. I had it in my head that I should’ve died there in the streets beside Owen. I couldn’t tolerate the fact he was gone and I remained. I obsessed over each detail, replaying the attack in my head until it threatened to drive me mad. I was bitter and pissed as hell. Looking back, I know it was grief speaking, that the hospital staff was just trying to help as best they could, but there was no consoling me. I bit my tongue a lot because that’s what a good Marine does. We follow orders. But something broke inside me on that village street. I couldn’t let my rage go. So instead, I wrapped it around me like a shield . . . as a permanent reminder of what happened when I failed.”

“Oh, Cooper, it wasn’t your fault.” Her tears fell on my chest like rainfall.

“I don’t know, Caylee. Even after all this time, I just don’t know. Like I can see the logic of it—the situation so completely disassembled in my memory now from my constant evaluation. No matter the briefings . . . the therapy sessions . . . I haven’t been able to let that go yet. Maybe.” My voice softened, trailing off at the end. I shrugged. “Maybe it won’t ever leave. It’ll be something I carry until the day I die. I deserve it.”

Her hand clenched into a fist and for a second I thought she was going to hit me. Instead, she flexed out her fingers before returning them to my chest. It was the only cue I had to go on—her facial expressions hidden from me still.

Not knowing exactly how my long-awaited confession was being received, I didn’t stop. I kept going. “I know that sounds stupid. Trust me, some of the best people have tried convincing me differently. I will say this, though, being with you, knowing you don’t hate me over it, that you’ve somehow managed to forgive me . . . it’s the closest thing I’ve felt to peace.”

A lump formed in my throat big enough to sink the freaking
Titanic
. I’d never said that out loud, but it was as true as anything I knew. Caylee Sawyer, the woman I owed the greatest debt to, had been the one to take me those needed steps into the light.

It was a gift I didn’t know if I’d ever feel worthy of.

“Does this still hurt?” It was her turn to surprise me as Caylee’s hand left my chest and rested over the scar and indention of my thigh—a visible reminder of that day.

“Yes . . . no . . . sometimes.”

Sitting up, Caylee tucked her loose hair behind her ears as she crossed her legs. I didn’t move, however. This was as vulnerable and exposed as I’d ever been. Something told me if I shifted, or attempted to cover myself, the moment would pass and take my courage with it.

“I notice you still have a limp.” My gaze never left her face as she gently prodded at the flesh on my upper leg. For the most part, I’d learned to tune out the hole the bullet had left behind, the angry red scar fading over time.

So it was with a sense of newness that I peered down to where her focus was—like I was having some kind of outer body experience. It felt real, but it didn’t.

I recognized the faraway sound to my voice as the tone that came when I tried distancing myself from the pain. Resisting the urge to escape into denial, I shook my head slightly—desperate to dislodge the sensation.

“Yeah, usually when I’m tired or I’ve overworked my legs. It’ll still hurt occasionally, but the physical therapist said that’s to be expected. I remember him talking about phantom pains and how the body stores memories. I wasn’t really paying close attention, however, so who knows. It does ache something fierce after a nightmare though.”

“And you’re still having them often?” Caylee didn’t look up at me, purposely avoiding eye contact. I was grateful for it. It helped me maintain the façade that we were having a clinical discussion, and not me baring my soul.

“Not as much as I used to. There was a time when it felt like whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, I was tormented. I got to the point where I did everything in my power to avoid it.”

“Until it drove you nuts.” There was the slightest hint of a smile . . . like she was admitting she’d gone through the same. Sure enough, I was right. “I’m familiar with that game.”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize how much we need sleep until I deprived myself of it. I fought it as long as I could until my family finally stepped forward and intervened. They didn’t care about the danger I felt I was or how it would destroy me. They saw the bigger picture. I was slowly killing myself and to them, it was unacceptable.”

Caylee leaned forward, brushing her lips over the puckered scar. With her own brand of magic, her touch made it seem like it no longer held the same menacing appearance.