Black (Clashing Colors Book 1) (6 page)

Fuck!
To say I didn’t like this would be an understatement, but somehow the logic in rebooting Cia’s shitty childhood made sense to me. So as the good soldier I am, I would follow orders.

“But about that video surveillance – who sees those tapes?”

“I do. I’ll be Cia’s therapist during her stay, and I will be looking closely at her reactions to the exercises as well as the dynamic between you two.”

“I don’t like that you can see us even in the bathroom,” I said. 

He arched a brow. “You would be surprised how uninteresting it is to see people groom themselves, and I can assure you that I don’t get a kick out of it. What I’m looking for is mental breakdowns and breakthroughs. Cia is a minefield, and we are about to go map those damn bombs placed throughout her childhood and blow them up once and for all.”

I grinned. “Now you’re talking… I’m a sapper; blowing up things is my specialty.”

“A soldier, huh?” He smacked me on my shoulder. “Then this is going to be just another mission.” 

“To be honest,” I said, “I would much rather go face-to-face with an ISIS warrior in Afghanistan than tell Cia what you just told me. I think she’s going to go bat-shit crazy on me when I tell her about the baby thing.”

“Are you afraid she will physically attack you?” he said in all seriousness.

“Hardly,” I replied, trying to mimic his earnestness. “I hope she doesn’t, but I can pacify her if it comes to that.”

“Good, and that reminds me, I’ll have them bring a pacifier too… it goes with the baby equipment. If you need me there’s a phone on the wall that connects to my cellphone.”

“Thanks, but – ehhh – it’s only two p.m. – what do we do until bedtime?”

He stepped outside and I followed him. “In my experience that black hair color will take a while to wash out, and our last Goth client ended up with yellow hair afterwards, so Therese had to color it to something as close to his natural color as possible. Luckily Therese is a trained hairdresser, so she’ll make sure Cia looks nice before she leaves her. There’s a collection of books in the great room, so go find one to kill the waiting time. You’ll also need it when she takes a nap tomorrow because you’ll need to stay with her at all times until she becomes a preteen.”

“Anything else I should know?” I asked.

“We eat dinner at six p.m. in the dining room; that’s where you’ll meet the others.”

I did as he had suggested and went to find a book to read while I was waiting. I got through five long chapters before I heard footsteps outside the cabin and looked up to see the door open… and oh my fucking God… did I gape.

CHAPTER 5

Baby

Cia

I was happy to be out of the neutralizer room but felt completely naked without my armor of black.

Therese walked me over to cabin number five, as if she was afraid I would run away… not that I wasn’t tempted, but where the hell would I go? I was beginning to understand why this place was so isolated.

“Just go right in,” Therese instructed. “Your daddy is inside.”

I arched a brow, not understanding what she was talking about but feeling confident I wouldn’t find Brent inside the cabin. I was right.

I found Gabriel lying on a bed, reading.

“Hey,” I said and if I hadn’t felt stupid and naked already, I certainly did after the way he stared at me as if I had grown an extra head.

“Wow, you look so… different,” he said and sat up.

I had seen myself in a mirror and knew I looked like a bloody sixteen-year-old with my girl-next-door look.

“At least we’re in the forest so no one will see me like this,” I said grumpily.

“You’re blond now,” he pointed out and took me in from head to toe in my sweatpants and t-shirt with a printed logo that said Camp TRC – which I had been told by Therese was short for “The Regression Center.”

“So the beauty mark
is
real,” Gabriel said and pointed to my mouth.

“Yes, it’s real, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I thought that maybe it was a tribute to Madonna… you know, the singer... she used to paint on a beauty mark and she…”

“Yes, I know who Madonna is,” I cut him off and pointed to the pile on the bed. “What is that?” For some reason it made me nervous.

Gabriel put his book down and got up from the bed. “I think you better sit down for a minute,” he said.

“Why?”

“Bruce gave us the first assignment and left it to me to explain it to you. Come sit down.”

I got on the bed, leaned my head against the headboard, and tugged my feet up under me. “I’m ready, so what is it?”

Gabriel was rubbing his forehead and giving me a troubled look.

“How bad can it be? Just spit it out,” I demanded.

Five minutes later when he was done explaining, I was pacing the room, ready to kill someone.

“If you think that I’m going to allow anyone to dress me up in a baby jumpsuit and sing me lullabies, then you must be out of your mind. I can call you Daddy if I have to but that’s as far as I’ll go.”

He swallowed hard. “Well, actually, that’s not the worst part.”

I narrowed my eyes and clenched my jaw. “Then what is?”

“That as your father I have to give you a bath and feed you.”

“
No!
Absolutely not!” I shrieked.

Gabriel shrugged. “I’m only doing it to help you and I promise there will be nothing sexual about it.”

“You’re damn right there will be nothing sexual about it, because
it’s not happening,
” I said in a raised voice.

“Those were our instructions,” Gabriel said.

“I don’t care. I’m not doing it. I told you… I don’t take orders from anyone.” My voice was loud and high-pitched and inside me my heart was hammering so fast. What he was asking me to do was terrifying. Fuck the baby costume, I could pretend it was Halloween and make a joke of it, but the part that brought out a full-fledged anxiety attack was the realization that Bruce wanted me to relinquish all control and let Gabriel take care of me.

“Calm down,” Gabriel said with a frown.

“No, I won’t calm down,” I hissed back. “I’m not taking orders from you… and certainly not that crazy Dr. Jekyll who thinks he can play twisted games with me, and call it therapy. Fuck him!”

“You can use that phone and call Bruce directly.” Gabriel pointed to a phone on the wall. “But wouldn’t it be easier to just play along?”

“Oh, I’m calling Bruce right now, because this is crazy.”

Gabriel took a seat on the bed while I called up Bruce, who remained completely calm no matter how much I screamed profanities at him. It was like banging my head against the wall.

“You can spend your two weeks here being a baby if you refuse to work with us, or you can comply and move up to become a toddler tomorrow. It’s up to you, Cia. If you cooperate, you could be a teenager by the end of the week.”

When I hung up the phone, I slid down the wall and pulled my legs up to my chest, hugging myself. I couldn’t even look at Gabriel or face the humiliating things before me.

I couldn’t see him with my head hidden against my knees but I felt him sitting down next to me.

“Hey, it’s not so bad,” he said in a soft voice. “We’ll get through this together, and what if it actually helps? Won’t it be worth two weeks of craziness if you end up feeling a lot better?”

I raised my head and looked at him, not caring that he would see the moisture in my eyes. “I don’t want to do it.”

“I know,” he said and stroked my back. It made me jerk and I shot him an angry glance, not feeling comfortable with his touches. “But I don’t think you have much choice.”

“Of course I have a choice,” I said, got up, and left the cabin, slamming the door after me.

Some people might have been brave enough to just start walking home. I know I wanted to, and maybe I would have succeeded if the sign at the end of the road hadn’t been there. “Beware,” it said and showed pictures of bears, cougars, and wolves. That sign made me stop and ponder for a minute. It would take me hours to hike to a road large enough to hope for a ride, and it would be dark before I got there. I had nothing with me. No flashlight, no water, no map. Chances were I would get lost or end up as dinner for some wild animal.

This therapy was ridiculous and disgusting, but was it worse than dying or going to jail?

My feet dragged when, thirty minutes later, I turned around and headed back to the cabin, to find Gabriel sitting outside on the porch.

“Let’s get this over with,” I hissed as I passed him, hoping he didn’t see me dry away an angry tear.

He got up and followed me inside, closing the door.

“So how do you want to do this?” he asked and moved forward to grab the pile on the bed. “We have to get you into the baby costume and since you’re a baby, I have to dress you.”

I reached for the pile, and when I lifted the black and yellow jumpsuit my eyes widened. Underneath were a diaper, a pacifier, and a baby bottle.
Hell no!
I had been ready to do this, but the diaper was a deal breaker.

Gabriel swallowed a laugh, and I snapped my head up and gave him my most evil look.

“If you think this is funny, then why don’t I dress you in a diaper?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s so grotesque that it’s funny,” he said, still trying to suppress his laughter.

I stuck a finger up his face. “If you want to get out of this cabin alive, you will not even attempt to put me in a diaper. Do you understand?”

He was nodding when the phone on the wall rang.

“What?” I asked angrily, squeezing the phone in my hand.

“The diaper will have to go on. It’s an important part of the role-play,” Bruce said on the phone.

My eyes flew around the cabin and stopped when I saw the camera. “Are you fucking spying on us?” I hissed.

“It’s all for the purpose of helping you, Cia. The diaper has to come on.”

“What kind of pervert are you to spy on people and then have them strip naked?”

Bruce’s voice remained calm. “I assure you I feel no more excitement about seeing your naked body than your doctor does when you get an examination.”

“I won’t do it,” I sneered. “This is a gross violation of my personal boundaries.”

“That’s your choice, but unless you do it, I can’t give you the papers you need for the judge. I’m not saying this is easy or fun, but the sooner you allow your father to care for you like his little baby girl, the sooner it will be over.”

“Then at least give Gabriel back his money, because we’re leaving right now.” I gave Gabriel a sharp look but only received a frown in return.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Bruce said. “You are free to go if you think jail is a better option, but we don’t do refunds.”

I smacked the phone back on the wall and flipped a finger at the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

Gabriel sat quietly beside me for a few minutes.

“I know you just met me, but if I had known you as a baby I would have been happy to bathe you and change your diaper – I like kids.”

I didn’t look at him, afraid I was going to take my anger and frustration out on him, I kept my head down and tried to focus on my breathing. A few minutes later I was calm enough to say; “You would have been eight years old when I was a baby. Don’t you think you would have been too busy riding your bike to care for an infant?”

Gabriel got up from the floor and sat on the bed, facing me. “Maybe,” he said; “but I always wanted a younger brother or sister.”

“I’m not your sister.”

“I know.” He said quietly. “Can’t you just pretend you’re playing a part… like an actor doing a show or something?”

I still didn’t budge but sat for an eternity thinking about my options. Leaving would be impossible without Gabriel driving me somewhere, and there wasn’t much chance of convincing him to leave when he had just spent a fortune on me. I could refuse to wear the baby costume, but that would get me nowhere. I needed Bruce to give me the papers for the court. If not, I wouldn’t be wearing a baby jumpsuit but an orange prison jumpsuit.

No matter how I searched for an alternative I was pressed into a corner and my only way out was to suck it up and get it over with.

I lifted my head and looked at Gabriel, who was lying on the bed reading. “I’m hungry,” I said grumpily.

He gave me a faint smile. “Me too… There’s dinner in the main house.”

His words gave me the last piece of motivation.

“Okay,” I said.

Gabriel pushed off from the bed and looked at me expectantly. “Are you ready to do it?” he asked.

I nodded with my jaws clenched too tightly to speak.

He slapped the bed, signaling for me to get on it, and as soon as I did, he started to take off my clothes with great concentration. I closed my eyes and placed my arm across my face to avoid being part of this humiliating role-play.

Gabriel removed my pants and panties, and I heard the plastic sound from the diaper and died a little.

“How does this thing work?” he asked and I was forced to move my arms and open my eyes to see him study the diaper and turn it in the air. “How do I know which way is front and back?”

“Give it to me,” I hissed and reached for the diaper, which was like a big white pair of underwear. After turning it a few times I handed it back. “It probably doesn’t matter, just put the damn thing on.”

“Okay, okay.” He tugged the diaper up to my thighs before he asked me to lift my butt.

I took a deep breath and lifted my ass so he could get the diaper underneath me, and tried not to think too much about how exposed my private parts were.

Luckily Gabriel seemed completely uninterested in that part of me and solely focused on getting me into the diaper and jumpsuit while touching me as little as possible. He didn’t remove my top until he had covered me up to my waistline and even then he was careful not to touch my breasts.

In the end, Gabriel zipped up the jumpsuit and looked pleased with himself. “See, that wasn’t so bad,” he said and tried to put the pacifier in my mouth.

I turned my head and refused to take it.

“Cia,” he said in a persuasive tone.

“Don’t even think about it. I didn’t use a pacifier as a baby and I won’t do it now.”

He gave a questioning glance to the camera in the corner while I got up from the bed and took a look down at myself. “Who the hell decided on black and yellow?” I said dryly. “I look like a freaking bee.”

Gabriel grinned. “You look cute.”

Cute was one word no one had ever called me.

“Now what?” I asked and threw my hands in the air.

“Let’s get something to eat.” For a moment Gabriel looked uncertain and then he simply picked me up.

“Put me down,” I demanded.

“Stop wriggling – you’re a baby, you can’t walk yet.”

Having him carry me in his arms forced me to be close to him, and I was stiff as a board.

“Relax, Cia, I won’t drop you, I promise.”

I remained stiff in his arms and growled into his ear, “If you ever tell anyone about this, I will personally find you and castrate you.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” he muttered back.