Black Number Four (44 page)

“Exactly, so then why am I here rubbing salt in the wound?”

“You’re supposed to be the one nursing her back to health.”

I sigh, taking a bite of salad even though I’m far from hungry. Dinner drags on and I can’t decide what’s worse – watching Skyler ignore me, listening to Erin talk, or catching death glares from Adam every chance he gets. Even though he’s with Cassie now, apparently he still feels protective over Skyler. He hasn’t talked to me since news of us splitting got around and now he’s practically cracking his knuckles at the table.

Why am I here?

“Excuse me,” I say when I finish dinner, standing. Skyler looks up at me, but doesn’t say anything. I make my way to the bathroom and splash cold water in my face, trying to calm myself.

“Kip!” I turn just as Kade breaks through the bathroom door. “I thought that was you I saw! Damn man I’m glad you’re here. I need my partner in crime tonight. I came with this chick Arielle, but Jess has been giving me the eyes all night and I’m kind of thinking she’s over the shit that douchebag, Greg, has put her through. I might make my move. Is that stupid or just dumb?”

He’s talking sixty miles a minute and clearly is oblivious to my current turmoil. I do my best to smile genuinely. “Who cares? If it’s what you want, go for it. Just don’t be a dick to the girl who brought you. Is she into you or did you guys come as friends?”

“Friends, but I think she might think it’s something more.”

“Ah,” I appraise the situation. “Well, tread lightly. It’s bad enough to get kicked in the balls, you don’t want it to happen when your neck is constricted by a tie, too.”

“True story,” he says, fixing his tie in the mirror. “I fucking hate getting dressed up like this. Jeans should be formal.”

I laugh and shake my head, enjoying the ease he’s bringing to the night. I actually like getting dressed up, so I don’t chime in on that one. And I definitely don’t mind seeing Skyler dressed up.

Even if I can’t touch her.

A sharp pain wrecks my chest again and I expel another long breath to clear it. Kade claps his hand on my shoulder. “You all right, dude?”

“I’m as good as I can be, considering.”

It takes a minute, but finally recognition sets in on Kade’s face. “Oh shit, you and Skyler are still split? I figured you’d be here with her.”

I shake my head. “Ashlei invited me. She said she thought Skyler would want me here, but I think it’s clear that’s not the case.”

Kade shrugs. “Well, you probably won’t have to deal with her much longer. I think she was drunk before we all got on the bus to drive here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, man. She’s drowning out the memories, tonight. Good thing she came here with Bear and not another guy because I’m pretty sure they’d be scoring later.” I punch him in the arm a little harder than I intended and he rubs it out. “Fuck, man! I’m just saying.”

We make our way back to the ballroom and I immediately see that Kade is right. Everyone is dancing, Skyler included, but she looks sloppy already. She’s got a drink in her hand that keeps spilling on the floor as she moves, but her hands are in the air and there’s a huge smile on her face. She does look happy, and I can’t be mad at that.

Ashlei pulls me out onto the floor, too, and we dance a little, though she’s mostly with the girls and I’m mostly with my brothers. We’re all being goofy, doing ridiculous dance moves, but I can’t keep my eyes off Skyler. She’s trying her damndest not to look at me, either, but somehow our eyes always make their way back to each other.

Suddenly, she turns away from Clinton and makes her way straight toward me. “Dance with me,” she says just as the music switches to a slow song. I swallow and nod, taking her waist gently in my hands as Ashlei winks and leaves us alone.

“Why are you here?” She asks, not wasting any time. She’s clearly not affected by the close proximity of our bodies where as I, on the other hand, have forgotten how to breathe.

“Ashlei invited me.”

“Right,” she says. “But
why
are you here?”

I sigh, wishing we could have this talk somewhere a little more private. “I wanted to see you, to talk to you. I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Oh, you think that’s all you owe me?”

She’s feisty tonight, the same Skyler I met at the beginning of the semester. She’s not soft like the Skyler I’ve come to know. No, her walls are back up and I’m on the outside trying to climb them again.

Except this time, she’s installed barbed wire.

“I’m sorry, Skyler.”

“If you’re sorry, drop out of the tournament.”

“I can’t.”

She scoffs, removing her hands from around my neck. “Yes, you can. And if you loved me, you would.”

“It’s not that simple, Skyler. There’s more to it.”

“Oh?” She crosses her arms. “There’s more to it than you being a conniving dickhead, making me fall for you so you could learn my
poker game
? So you could beat me at a tournament for your
daddy
?”

She’s pushing my buttons now, but I try to keep my cool. “Skyler, please, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I know everything just fine. Your dad didn’t get to play poker the way he wanted to in his life so now he’s making you do it for him and you don’t have the balls to tell him no. You preach all this bullshit to me about being comfortable with who I am and not caring what other people think, yet here you are letting your dad control you like a puppet.”

“You don’t know anything about him!” I say it a little louder than I want to and I really don’t know why I react the way I do. Had this been three weeks ago, I probably would have agreed with her. I
did
agree with her. I hated playing this stupid game for my dad and I was going to call the whole thing off. But then everything changed. In one split second, over one of the longest phone calls of my life, every single little thought in my head rearranged.

She laughs a low, soft laugh, shaking her head. “No, you’re right, I don’t. And clearly, I don’t know you, either.”

With that, she turns and storms away, straight toward the bar. I run my fingers through my hair and curse under my breath. Before I can make my way back to the table where Ashlei is, Erin slides in front of me.

“Can I have this dance?”

“No.” I push her aside, not in the mood for her shit.

“Wait.” She grabs my arm and I turn to face her, annoyed. “Listen, we don’t have to dance. I don’t want any trouble. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, for everything.”

“A little late for that, I think.”

She sighs. “I really hope what is going on between you two isn’t because of me. I want you two to be together. I know she makes you happy and that’s all I want, for both of you.”

I chew my bottom lip, wanting so bad to blame all this on her but I know it’s not the truth. “It’s not your fault,” I sigh. “It’s mine. I’m the only one to blame for what’s going on between us.”

“Are you going to fix it?”

She asks it so calmly, so simply – like she just asked me if I’m going to fix the flat tire on my car.

“I’m going to try.”

She nods, seeming to take that in. “Good. Don’t give up on her. My Little, she’s stubborn, and she’s not one to let other people know when she’s hurt. She thinks it’s better to put up her guard and appear invincible than to admit she’s been broken.”

“I’m picking up on that.”

Erin smiles a soft smile. “Just get her alone and talk to her. I know she cares about you.”

I nod and she turns, walking back to join Jess, Kade, Cassie, and Adam as Ashlei pops up beside me.

“So, looks like all of that went well.”

“Yeah.” I nod sarcastically. “Just perfectly.”

Skyler doesn’t talk to me for the rest of the night. And, to make matters worse, she’s clearly trying to get to me because she’s dancing with every guy she can – even a few freshmen. Every time she grinds against them and they paw at her in her dress I have to clench my fists in my pockets and turn away to keep from running over and sucker punching them. At this point, being here is torture.

“I think I’m going to head out,” I tell Ashlei. She’s at the bar getting another drink and gives me a pouty lip.

“Boo. You should stay, it’s almost over anyway.”

I look over my shoulder at Skyler dancing. She makes her way up onto the small stage and has literally a crowd of guys fawning over her.

“I just can’t really take anymore tonight, Ashlei,” I say, turning back to face her. Her mouth pulls to the side and she nods, seeming to understand. I pull her in for a hug. “Thanks for trying.”

I’m making my way toward Kade and the rest of my brothers to let them know I’m heading out when I hear gasps and screams ring out on the dance floor. My head jerks just in time to see Skyler hit the floor with a sickening crunch.

I sprint through the room and past the crowd gathered on the dance floor, yelling for them to back up as I reach Skyler. Erin is already there kneeled down beside her.

“She lost her footing on the stage and fell off. She’s not answering me,” Erin says frantically. Panic sets in and I pull Skyler up into my arms, moving the fallen hair from her face.

“Skyler, it’s me, it’s Kip. Skyler, baby, can you hear me?” I yell over my shoulder for someone to go get water and a rag from the bartender as I gently shake her, trying to get her to come to. She’s breathing fine, but I’m not sure if she’s been knocked out or if she’s just dazed. Slowly, her eyes flutter open and she groans.

Thank God.

“Fuck, Skyler, you scared the shit out of me.”

She leans into me more, her hands wrapping around my neck as she buries her face in my chest. “Ouch.”

We all laugh a little and I pick her up in my arms just as one of her younger sisters returns with the rag and water. I tell her to wet the rag and then I place it against the back of Skyler’s neck and she sighs, gripping my neck tighter.

“Let’s get you home,” I say softly into her ear and she nods. Erin and the other girls tell me to call them if I need them and I make my way out, climbing in the first cab I see and giving the driver the sorority house address. I’d rather take her to my place, but I know that’s not what she wants right now.

She’s still holding onto me tightly as we drive and my body can’t help but react to the electricity that always flows between us. Slowly, Skyler lifts her face to mine, staring into my eyes for a few seconds before leaning in and pressing her lips to mine.

Her lips are soft, her perfume and the way she feels in my arms enveloping all my senses. I want to kiss her back, to tell the cab driver to take us to my place instead, but I know it wouldn’t be right.

“Skyler.” I pull back and my heart literally breaks when I see her face fall. “You’re drunk. You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Yes I do,” she whispers, but her eyes fill with tears and she pulls away from my grasp and slides over into the opposite seat. My body instantly craves her the moment our contact is broken, but I remain on my side of the cab, watching her warily. “You know, this just might be the worst downswing I’ve ever experienced.” She turns from the window and looks me straight in the eye. “I never could have expected I’d lose so much of myself betting on you.”

Her words sink into my skin like a sharp knife, separating my muscles from the bone, making me feel even lower than I thought possible. She looks out the window again and I try to keep my mouth shut, but I can’t.

“I love you,” I say the words before I can stop myself, but I mean them just as much as I did the first time I said them.

She chokes a little, her face twisting as tears start to fall. “Well I fucking hate you.”

I swallow. “No you don’t.”

She turns to face me, letting me see the tears staining her face with mascara. “I want to.”

And I know she means that. If she didn’t love me, if I didn’t love her, none of this would hurt the way it does. I should tell her everything now, but by the way her lids sink low and her words slur together, I know she’s too drunk to process it anyway. I don’t want her drunken pity, I want her sober forgiveness.

We pull up to the house and I jump out and open her door for her, helping her out of the cab and helping her up to the door. “Are you okay? Are you going to be sick?”

She laughs a small, subdued laugh and rolls her eyes. “I’m fine. I’ve been drunk a few times before, you know.”

“I just want you to be okay.”

Her eyes shoot to mine. “I find that hard to believe.”

Swallowing, I take a step backward and nod. There are other words hanging between us, other things that need to be said, but neither of us grab for them. We just let them stay suspended as we stare at the other, waiting. Finally, Skyler wipes a fresh tear from the side of her face and reaches for the door handle.

“See you in Vegas,” she says, but she pauses, looking over her shoulder. “Oh, and happy birthday.”

She closes the door and I glance down at my watch. It’s just past midnight on the sixth of April.

Yeah.

Happy birthday to me.