Black Number Four (50 page)

She tilts her head slightly, questioning.

“I may have won the tournament,” I breathe, taking a small step toward her. “But did I lose you?”

For the first time tonight, she pulls her eyes away from me and to the ground. I freeze, my hands by my sides but desperately aching to reach out and touch her.

“I don’t know where we go from here, Kip. I don’t know if we can come back from this. We lied. Both of us. We played games and even though all the cards are on the table now, I don’t know if this is a game we can finish playing and still survive.”

My bottom lip shakes and I look toward the sky like someone can save me, willing myself to keep control. Slowly, I bring my eyes back to hers and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, Skyler. For everything. And I know those two words won’t do anything to heal the fucking hole I’ve punched in you but I mean them. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that nothing in this world is more important to me than you are. Nothing.” I pause, trying to find the right words to say. “You’ve changed everything about my life. Every dream I thought I had means nothing to me now if you’re not a part of them, too. I’ve never opened myself up to love, I’ve never let anything get in the way of my career. But you came in and turned all that into nothing. You obliterated everything I thought was important. All that matters to me, Skyler, is you.”

Skyler fidgets, her eyes on the ground. “How do I know what was real and what wasn’t? How do I know when you were getting to know me because you wanted to as opposed to when you were just playing a game?”

I move closer but she steps away, keeping the space between us. I wish she’d just let me pull her into me. If she could feel my heart, the way it beats only for her, she’d know the answer to her question.

“Everything was real, Skyler. It was real when we kissed the night we met and the electricity shocked us both. It was real when I asked you about your past. It was real when I helped you figure out who you really are and told you not to be ashamed of her. It was real when you ripped my fucking heart out at the Valentine’s Day dance.” I pause, my body trembling at that moment, knowing this night could very well end the same way. “When I touched you for the first time, when we fought because we cared too much about each other, when we made sacrifices and decisions we weren’t proud of – all of that was real. This,” I say, stepping toward her. This time she doesn’t move. “
We
, are real.”

She still won’t look at me, and the pain in my chest is almost too much to handle. I know it’s a poor bet, but I’m running out of options. I reach into my pocket and pull out the lone black die I bought after the tournament ended.

“Let’s let fate decide. Roll the die,” I say, holding out the shiny black plastic in my hand. “If it’s a four, we give this game another round. If it’s anything else, we walk away.”

She eyes me through her lashes. “You know those odds are really terrible, right?”

I shrug. “I’m confident in our number.”

Chewing her lip, she studies me for a moment longer before slowly taking the die from my hand. She shakes her head, but tosses the die in her hand a few times before letting it slide across the concrete.

My heart is thundering in my chest, stirring up a storm that racks my entire body as the small black die bounces. It knocks against a man’s shoe, bounces a few more times, and finally falls.

Six.

My heart stops beating and just sinks, down through my chest, my stomach, all the way to the cold hard ground. My shoulders fall with it, and the weight I thought was unbearable before completely gives way, making me crumble and break beneath it. I can’t even lift my eyes to find Skyler’s, I just stare at that fucking die, at that fucking number, and I know this is one of those images I’ll have seared in my memory forever.

The crowd is lively around us, but it’s as if Skyler and I are in our own bubble, the noise and excitement muted by our despair. Suddenly, Skyler bends down to retrieve the die. She goes to hand it back to me and I inwardly cringe, not wanting to touch the cursed plastic, but then, it goes sailing over my head.

Whipping around, I watch as it falls into the fountain with a splash. I turn to Skyler and she’s smiling, her sky blue eyes dancing in the soft light of the fountain. “I’m done leaving my life to chance. Black number four can suck it.”

She closes the space between us and before I have the chance to realize what’s happening, I wrap her in my arms and crush my mouth to hers. My hands find her hair and I pull her in deeper, my mouth still hard on hers as she fists my shirt in her hands. Music spills out from the fountain speakers and the show begins, but neither of us look up to see it. We lose ourselves in each other, touching and feeling and kissing as the water shoots up into the night sky until someone near us clears their throat, pulling us back to reality.

“I love you,” I breathe, pulling back and running the pad of my thumb across her lower lip. “I’m so fucking sorry, Skyler.”

“Stop.” She shakes her head. “We both played a stupid game.”

“I promise to never gamble with your heart again, Ella Mae.”

She smiles, pulling me in for another long kiss. “Deal.”

Grabbing her hand, I pull her away from the fountain and toward the strip. I want her alone tonight, even if the city is begging us to stay out. “I can’t believe you let me watch that die roll like that, when you knew it didn’t even matter.”

She giggles. “It was fun to watch you sweat.” She winks and I grip her hand a little tighter and nudge her playfully. “That was super cheesy, by the way,” she adds, glancing back at the fountains still going off.

“What? You’re not impressed with that impeccable timing?”

“How did you know I wouldn’t be dumping your ass when the fountains went off like that?”

I frown, pulling her into me and knuckling her head. She laughs and pushes me off, her radiant smile lighting up the strip more than the casino lights.

“I knew you couldn’t resist this.”

She rolls her eyes. “Please.”

I stop, pulling her into me and pressing my lips to hers. Running my fingertips down her arms, I grip her waist and pull her into me, biting her bottom lip between my teeth. She moans and I instantly harden, tugging her closer so she feels what she’s doing to me. “You couldn’t resist me if you tried.”

She smiles against my lips, her eyes bright and playful. She’s the same Skyler I met that first night, yet she’s entirely different. The girl back then was hiding something, she was ashamed to be the girl I knew she was. Tonight, she’s exactly who she was meant to be, and she’s wearing that same confident smile that has killed me and brought me to life at the same time ever since the very first time I saw it.

“Wanna bet?”

THE END

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

“You’ve got this,” Kip says, his smile mimicking the nervous expression on my face. Even through video chat on my tiny phone, his smile seems bigger than life. “You’re going to be elected president, you’re going to go out and party tonight, and then you’re going to fly out to see me in just three short days.”

“How are you so sure?”

He shrugs, which somehow makes me even more attracted to him. “Because I know you. And I know those girls would be stupid not to make you their president.”

The doors to the chapter room swing open and Jess peeks her head out. “We’re ready for you.” She’s smiling, but it’s not a confident, radiant smile, which scares the shit out of me. She excuses herself to the other rooms down the hall to tell the other candidates it’s time for us to go in and I stand, panic setting in.

“Breathe, Ella Mae,” Kip says and I stick my tongue out. He chuckles. “Just go win this thing and then we can count down the days until you’re in California. With me. Where you belong.”

Now it’s my turn to smile, because I truly am beyond excited to see him. We spent all summer together after the tournament, staying at his parents’ house in Kansas during his father’s last few weeks. It was a little strange meeting Oliver Jackson at first, knowing what he had asked Kip to do to me, but once we got to know each other it solidified the choice I made in Vegas for me. I could see how much poker meant to him when we would play on the make-shift table near his bed. Those lazy days spent chatting and playing poker with Kip and his dad are some that will stay with me forever.

When Oliver passed, the summer took a solemn dive, and Kip and I both fell into the dark together. But we had each other, and that’s all we needed to make it through. After the funeral, Kip and I stuck around to be with his mom. I got really close with her during that time and now we talk daily, which I know is good for her now that her husband is gone. Truth be told, it’s good for me, too. Kip is a lot like his mom, and she has helped me through more than she realizes in this past semester – including getting the courage to run for president of KKB with everything that’s happened.

The summer was tough as hell, but we were together all the time. I can’t remember us even going twenty-four hours without seeing each other. But when he started at UCLA in the fall and I came back to Palm South, we both knew it would be hard. We’ve only seen each other once since then, during Thanksgiving break, and being this far apart is physically straining for both of us. I even tried talking him into letting me transfer there, but he knows this is where I want to be – where I belong. I’m needed here, which is an amazing feeling.

But I need him here, too.

This past semester has been the most difficult. I declared my major in entrepreneurship and started working for the casino cruise, honing my dealing skills and saving every penny to get my business started after graduation. I’ve never been so excited about school, but finally knowing the direction I’m going gives me something to look forward to. It took a while for the poker world to stop talking about me, and every now and then I still come up in conversation – will I ever get back into the game? Did losing the tournament crush my spirits forever? But the truth is I still love playing, just not as much as I love the thought of owning my own business and helping others have a good time in a casino atmosphere. I survived the pressure of playing and I met my goal. I made enough to pay for college and set my family on their feet. That’s all I ever wanted. So now, I reserve my skills for poker nights with Clinton and his brothers.

And of course, I take their money every time.

It’s been a rough six months, adjusting to not playing anymore and figuring out how to turn that focus to school, instead. Staring at the blue-eyed boy on my screen, I know I couldn’t have done any of it without him. Even if we did cause quite the storm of rumors when it came out that we were an item. Everyone put the puzzle pieces together, discovering that he was the same boy from the photograph snapped at the bonfire last semester. Needless to say, we were the juiciest story the poker world had for quite some time. But eventually it died down, and now most reporters and bloggers give me peace.
Most
being the key word.

I blow a kiss through the screen and Kip catches it, kissing his knuckles before throwing the kiss up to the sky. It’s something we’ve been doing ever since his dad passed, making sure to take the time to remember him every single day. Kip gives me a wink before ending the call and I shove my phone in my Vera Bradley bag before heading to the chapter room.

All my sisters remain seated, clapping and smiling politely as the other candidates and I walk up to the front of the room. Once we’re all situated, Erin quiets the room and the doors are shut again.