Black Sheep (17 page)

Tyson

FAR OVER THE EDGE.

That was where I was. Her touch went straight to my head, allowing me a freedom I’d never had with Nicole.

I touched her.

I kissed her.

I pressed my body against hers, and every bad thing in my memories melted away, leaving only her and her goodness.

The blackness that had hovered over me my entire life faded, and for the first time in a long time, I breathed deep and felt the oxygen fill my lungs. Nothing heavy on my chest to keep me from inhaling—nothing heavy on my heart.

There was only her—and her hands and her lips—touching me all over and soothing every scar on my soul. She whispered my name every time I released her mouth, begging me for all the things I wanted to give her, and it was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard in my entire life.

She was it for me.

She’d always been it for me.

I tasted her neck, her unique scent mixed with a light perfume fueling me. I’d smelled that perfume for years—the sweet smell of her essence mixed with her favorite scent—and it had driven me mad. It was driving me nuts now, but at least, now, I had the balls to do something about it.

I was taking, and she was giving. It was the most beautiful moment of my life—the most freeing.

She tugged at my hair, pulling my mouth away from her neck only to bring her lips to mine. I tasted her sweetness, probing her lips for the sugary nectar that was Nicole until she was everywhere. I wanted to taste all of her.

No.

I needed to taste all of her.

Moving down her body, I kissed her stomach through her tank. Her fingers dived into my hair, tugging and pulling me to her body as I placed kisses just below her navel.

Moving lower, I tugged her sleep shorts down over her hips, taking her panties with them until she was naked enough that I could bury my face in her sweetness. And that was exactly what I did. I dipped my tongue into her, lapping at the sugary moisture. She tasted amazing just like I knew she would.

“Ah, God,” she moaned.

Pride filled me. I wanted her to feel as wonderful as she’d made me feel—I wanted her pleasure for myself.

Her hips bucked when I rolled my tongue over her clit, and I latched my fingers onto her skin to hold her still. I wanted to satisfy her. It was only fitting since she’d given me so much pleasure in my life.

Every sweet smile—every brush of her fingertips—was all pleasurable for me. She was always there, silently directing me to do the right thing. She was everything, and it was way past the time that I took my time and worshiped her.

I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to taste her deeply. Lifting her left leg, I pulled it over my right shoulder, hooking her knee on my collarbone. She opened for me, giving herself to me so freely that it was almost poetic. I made love to her with my mouth—kissing and sucking—licking and tasting.

Every breathless word she said fueled me to push her harder. She tugged at my hair and her fingers pressed against the back of my skull driving me deeper until finally, her body stilled as if she’d been shocked by electricity.

The sounds that exploded from her lips as she came on my tongue were a thing of beauty. I’d never experienced her this way, but I knew it was too late for me. I’d gone over the edge with Nicole. I’d tasted her ripeness, and I was addicted. It was in my blood. She was in my veins. And I knew at that moment that I would never be whole again until I was inside her.

Nicole

HE WAS WILD,
taking from me and giving so much in return. I’d never seen him this way, and I wanted to remember every second. It was selfish of me to take from him at a point in our lives when we’d already lost so much, but I couldn’t stop it.

I’d never used drugs, and I’d only sipped on a beer once in my life, but I knew I was high on everything Tyson was doing to me. My body soared, his mouth touching me in places only I’d ever touched myself. And while I knew I should’ve been more conservative and reserved, once I felt his tongue in my secret places, I fell apart, and a woman I’d never been before stepped forward.

I said things I’d never said. I did things I’d never done, and when he lifted my leg to taste me deeper, I all but helped him by spreading my legs as wide as I could. The bed cradled me while he rocked me. His fingers on my hips held me still, but once my body let go and I exploded for him, everything collapsed.

When I came back to myself, he was above me looking down at me. His body was pressed into mine, and I helped him as he pulled my tank top over my head and tossed it to the floor, exposing me to him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, as his eyes moved over me.

I’d never been naked in front of a man before. In the back of my mind, I knew I should’ve been more nervous, but when Tyson leaned back and looked at my body, I’d never felt more gorgeous. I’d never felt so wanted in all my life.

His gaze dropped to my naked hips before moving back up over my stomach and bra. They skimmed my shoulders and neck before connecting with mine. The heat I saw in his gaze warmed me, making me feel hot all over.

“So beautiful,” he repeated. “You’re mine, Nicole.”

He was right.

I was his.

I’d always been his.

I nodded, agreeing with him and hoping my acquiescence would bring him back to me. I wanted more. When it came to Tyson, there was never enough, and my body had once again become tight and begging.

“Say it. I want to hear you say you’re mine,” he demanded.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment, but somehow knowing that once the sun came up, things would go back to the way they were. We were wallowing in our grief and using each other to lessen the pain, but secretly, I hoped he wouldn’t go back to his silent self when it was all said and done. Secretly, I hoped he’d keep me instead of constantly pushing me away.

What did that say about me?

What kind of woman was willing to sleep with a grieving man?

What kind of woman even thought about sex while she was grieving?

Was I using him?

Or was he using me?

No.

I’d never, and he’d never take advantage of me in that way. He’d never do anything to hurt me, and hurting Tyson was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel. I wanted him to break for me the way I had for him.

I leaned up and grasped his shirt. I wanted him naked against me. I needed to feel his skin against mine.

“I’m yours, Tyson,” I said, pulling his shirt over his head and exposing his beautiful chest and shoulders. “I’ve always been yours.”

He watched as I let my fingers slide from his shoulders down over his chest. The morning dawned, and soft light began to fill my room, allowing me to see him more clearly. His tats blazed in color, begging me to follow each inky line until my fingers brushed the button of his jeans. He’d removed his belt when he went to bed, and I was grateful it wasn’t in the way, slowing me down.

His jawline was tight, his teeth gritting together as he remained still and let me caress him and feel his body. Leaning forward, I let my lips skim his chest, my tongue poking out and tasting his salty flesh. I pushed and pushed, watching his eyes and waiting for the second when he’d snap.

And then he did.

“Fuck,” he growled, moving into me and pushing me deeper into the bed. “I need to be inside you. I can’t take it anymore.”

He went to work on his button and tugged his jeans down over his narrow hips. I didn’t have time to look down and admire all that he was before he moved into me, lifting my leg and preparing to give himself over to me finally.

His eyes connected with mine, his expression different as if he were asking permission to become one with me.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, swallowing so hard his throat bobbed up and down.

I nodded. “Yes,” I said, pulling him to me yet refraining from digging my fingernails into his skin. “I want you.” I swallowed hard, feeling crazy with desire. “I want you to be my first and my last. You’re all I ever wanted.”

His eyes scanned my face once again, but his expression shifted. His brows pulled down in confusion, and his lips went tight.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed. “When I move inside you, it’ll hurt.”

“I don’t care.” I lifted my hips, feeling his hardness against my folds. “Please, Tyson.”

He breathed, before resting his forehead against mine. Then he leaned up, his eyes scanning my face once more.

“Oh, my God. What am I doing?” he asked rhetorically.

And then he lined up with my body and pushed himself inside me.

I gasped at the pain, and he moaned in pleasure. Seated deep inside me, he remained still. Again, his eyes moved over my face.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, feeling fuller than I had in my entire life.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered before pressing his lips to mine.

Why was he apologizing?

He was giving me everything I’d ever wanted.

“Don’t stop.” I swallowed, lifting my hips even though it brought on more pain.

“This …” he choked. “This is so fucking wrong, but you feel incredible.”

He pulled from my body and pushed into me again. A tiny sound slipped from my mouth, and he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine, and catching the noises I couldn’t keep contained.

It was pleasure.

It was pain.

It was amazing.

His body moved, his hips working him deeper and deeper the more he pulled back and thrust forward. His eyes glazed over, and he closed them, enjoying the feel of my body. I held him to me, hoping that even if it was for just a little while, I could take his memories and his pain away.

Burying my face in his neck, the hard beat of his pulse drummed against my cheek. I kissed his pulse, and his body shook. Pulling back, he looked down at me, his eyes wide as if he wasn’t sure if the moment was real or not.

It was real.

Everything about it felt real.

“You’re everything, Nicole,” he whispered.

The tension was building, and the more he whispered sweet words, the higher it built.

My fingers worked down his back, feeling the slickness of the sweat. I was careful not to dig my nails into his body. When the pleasure became too much, I curled my fingers into my palm to keep from clawing at him.

He sped up, our hard breaths filling the silence of the room—his noises soft and needy.

His fingers curled around my hip, pulling me up and into his thrusts as they grew harder and faster.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, burying his face in my neck. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I can’t … I don’t know if I can last.”

He didn’t need to apologize. Everything he was doing felt amazing, and while my body was responding and climbing its way to another orgasm, I wanted to make him feel as wonderful as he’d already made me feel.

Moving my hands down, I gripped his ass and pulled him to me. “It’s okay. You feel good inside me.”

He pulled back, his pained expression melting away into one full of pleasure. His eyes connected with mine, and I could tell he was struggling and trying to hold back his orgasm.

“It’s okay.” I leaned up and kissed his chin. “Let go, Tyson.”

His thrusts grew abusive, harder and faster, as he drilled into me. My mouth fell open, as he touched every nerve inside me and pushed me closer to the edge. I crested, my body going stiff as a hot flush moved up my body before rushing down.

I came—my screams loud and uncontrollable.

His eyes remained on my face, taking my expression and using it to fuel his own orgasm until finally, he released.

“Nicole,” he growled before his body went stiff.

He stopped moving, but I felt him jerk inside me as his entire body shook. And then he collapsed, his heavy frame pushing me into the mattress and keeping my cooling skin warm.

A few seconds later, he rolled off me, taking me with him and pulling me into his side.

He pressed a soft kiss against my temple as I snuggled into him. I’d never felt so much relief. Not only was my body totally satisfied, but my heart and mind were too.

“I hope you don’t regret that tomorrow.” He sighed.

I smiled.

Kissing the side of his neck, I rubbed my nose against his heated skin.

“Never,” I whispered to him. “I’ll never regret you.”

Tyson

I WAITED UNTIL
Nicole was asleep before I left her bed, grabbed my clothes, and went to my room. Once there, my legs collapsed beneath me, and I fell back onto my bed. The food I’d eaten for dinner felt sour in my stomach, and nausea moved over me, threatening to make me sick.

She was broken and grieving, and I’d twisted her up with pleasure.

I was a terrible person.

I’d heard her crying, but I could only lie here for so long before my need to make her feel better took over. I went to her room with plans to hold her while she cried. But then I’d broken her down piece by piece with the most truthful words I’d ever spoken, and then I’d tasted her the way I’d dreamed about for years.

It was a mistake.

I knew that.

But at that moment, I’d let myself forget all about the reasons I could never taint her.

Being Nicole’s first and last was all I ever wanted, but I was sure once she took off to school, someone else had taken that role.

I was wrong.

She was still innocent—still untouched—and as I’d always feared I would, I was the one who took that away from her.

She deserved better. I was too black—too dirty—too sick in the head from years of abuse, but when I was inside her, none of that mattered.  All my memories went away, replaced by the sweetness of her touch and the pleasure of her body.

She loved me.

She’d told me before, but this time, when she said it, she was looking me in my eyes, and I knew it was all truth.

Nicole didn’t see me the way I saw myself. She thought I was something I wasn’t, and I knew when she woke and the sun was shining light into all the dark crevices and showing the truth, she’d realize what she’d done with me, and she’d regret it.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled.

Her regret was going to kill me.