Authors: Zane Lovitt
Now, as I listen to her scamper down the stairs and into the cold, setting out on her mission, all my confidence evaporates and I stumble to the window. It's as if I know what will happen.
Marnie comes up the driveway. She and Beth pass within a foot of each other and it's Marnie who turns and gives her a second look, watches her too-tight jeans waggle down to the street, open the door of the green Volvo, ease themselves inside. Marnie comes up
the steps, oblivious to how those jeans emerged from my flat, and I launch myself into that conversation while the Volvo motors away.
âMarnie,' I say from the door.
âHi.' She tightens her scarf around her neck. Seeing me has made her want to choke herself.
âHow are you?'
âFine.'
She never asks me how I am. It's not that she doesn't care, she just goes taut at the start of conversations.
I'm like, âI'm sorry about the other night.'
âThat's okay. Lookâ¦' She shifts her weight, settles it into one sneaker. âI'm not happy about you, like, analysing my life. I should be able to tell you about my stuff when I'm ready.'
âI know. I'm sorry.'
âBut I've been thinking, and if you want, I'll tell you about it. It's all come out since anyway.'
I have no idea what she's talking about.
She says, âHe told me. My father, I mean. I made him tell me. That's what changed my mind.'
I rewind my brain to our last conversation. In the alley behind her work.
She says, âHe said he did it for me. The dodgy deals. Wanted to leave me something. Like an inheritance, you know?'
I'm nodding along like I do know. Her parents, the embezzlers. I asked how she went from singing their innocence to abandoning them in a matter of hours.
âIt was like he was telling me it was my fault. Or I meanâ¦'
I don't know if I can handle an information dump right now, so I try to tie the conversation off.
âI'm sorry I crossed the line the way I did. I had no business digging into your life.'
She offers a modest smile, swings her purse from her shoulder and digs inside. The rustle of keys.
âWe're not having a lot of luck, are we?'
âNo. But that's my fault. My mind is really scattered at the moment.'
She lingers, perhaps hoping I'll ask her out again. Somewhere to make it up to her. Somewhere that isn't a pizza joint. When I don't, she pantomimes a glum shame-about-that face and makes for her door.
âLook,' I say. âI've got the most intense workload right now. Let me get through this and then maybe we can hang out.'
âOkay,' she says, pushing her apartment door open. âGood luck with all that work.'
I can't tell if that's sarcastic.
For the coming hours I'm at a loss. Even someone as talented as Beth isn't going to have Rudy eating out of her hand until at least midday, so I should do some work while I wait for the promised phone call. But I'd only flub it.
I could call Tyan and ask how he is. But he'll have the hangover of ten men for the next couple of days, which probably won't improve his disposition. Instead I eat toast and play around online, google Tyan's football team, the Hawthorn Hawks. Apparently they won some big game last season. What if I'd reconnected with Tyan a year ago? Would we have shared that moment? Did Tyan watch it on TV alone? Did he weep with happiness? Would we have wept together?
In the midst of these daydreams and my memories of Saturday, it occurs to me to check my Brett Sherez email address, the one I created for Tristan Whaley. I'm only killing time, so I'm surprised to find that Whaley
has
been in contact.
From: Tristan Whaley <
[email protected]
>
Date: Sun, July 19, 2012 at 5:31 PM AEST
Subject: Transcript
To: “Brett Sherez (
[email protected]
)” <
[email protected]
>
Dear Brett
A pleasure to meet you on Saturday.
Further to our conversation, I inquired with my former office manager at Joad & Clark as to any residual documentation relating to the Alamein matter and, given things appear to be on the slow side this weekend, they happily unearthed this file from the transcription archive. Unbeknownst to me, audio files are transcribed
automatically, and were as far back as 2004. In your capacity as Rudyard Alamein's legal representative, it is appropriate to forward this file to you, with the assurance that there is no further material in the possession of our office or myself in relation to this matter.
Reading over, I find myself recalling one of the more surreal interactions of my career. His comments regarding his son are particularly troubling, though it should be apparent he was not of the soundest mind. However, I speak in part of my remembrance of the interview; I wonder how much of that recollectionâhis fearsome anger, his unrelenting tearsâis properly conveyed by this scant document.
Given the sensitive nature of the contents, I will have the original file destroyed upon your request. A destroyed-material receipt will then be forwarded to you by Joad & Clark. Please let me know how you wish to proceed.
Yours Sincerely,
Tristan Whaley
Attached is a plain text file: 20041105AlameinP001.rtf. I'm barely able to lay the mouse pointer over it to double-click. Outside it starts to rain. I start to read.
51
file 20041105AlameinP001
tape ozk0161655date deleted W-A
UNKNOWN: ( inaudible ) | |
W: | That's all right. I'm a criminal solicitor from the firm of Joad & Clark. |
A: | You came here. |
W: | That's right. I've taken an interest in your son's wellbeing. |
A: | My son. |
W: | That's right. I'm recording this, Piers. This is a dictaphone. Is that all right? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Would you like a drink? Some water or tea? |
A: | I keep my fluids up. |
W: | Officer, we need some tea. |
UNKNOWN: I'm not a fucking café, mate. | |
W: | I saw the kettle as you brought me through. I don't suppose you know if he takes milk or sugar. |
UNKNOWN: ( inaudible ) | |
W: | One with milk and sugar and one with just milk. Please. This isn't my first time here. I'll sign a waiver if you like. It's only tea. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | And excuse me. Would you get a blanket? This man is freezing. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | ( inaudible ) |
W: | What's that? |
A: | ( inaudible ) |
W: | I can't hear you when you cover your mouth. |
A: | Did the dog come back? |
W: | Which dog is that? |
A: | The dog that ran away. |
W: | The dog that ran away. |
A: | Busby. The fucking dog. |
W: | It's all right. No no no. It's okay. Please calm down. I'm afraid I don't know about the dog. |
A: | The dog knew. That's why. |
W: | Right. |
A: | It's interesting, you see. Outside, dogs are good. They mean loyalty. In here, dogs are bad. If you're a dog then you're the opposite of loyal. |
W: | What is that? What you're playing with there. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | It's all right. They're bringing a blanket. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | What is that there? |
A: | The teeth. |
W: | Teeth? |
A: | Our idea of loyalty. |
W: | Right. |
A: | Loyalty was the first morality. Before there was law. Before there was love. Before there was God. |
W: | I see. |
A: | But not before there was family. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Piers, I want to determine how you're being treated. |
A: | It's all back to front here. They think. They think solitary confinement is a punishment. |
W: | You prefer not to be in the company of your fellow inmates? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Was that marking put on your hand with your consent? |
A: | Consent. Consent is a story you heard once. |
W: | Why do you say that? |
A: | Consent is a legal fiction. |
W: | What do you mean? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Piers, I've heard about your last will and testament. One that you've produced during your time here. |
A: | Use normal words. |
W: | May I ask, have you written a will while incarcerated? |
A: | Use normal fucking words. |
W: | It's all right. It's all right. I will. I'll use normal words. Please try to relax. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Thank you so much. |
UNKNOWN: This one's sugar. | |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | No. |
W: | Piers, you're shivering. |
A: | No. |
W: | It's all right. Just leave it with me. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Would you like yours with or without sugar? |
A: | ( inaudible ) |
W: | It's all right. He's gone now. You don't have to cover your mouth. |
A: | Milk. |
W: | Sugar? |
A: | Yes. |
W: | All right. Good. A lovely hot cup of tea. Now, you were telling me about your will. You produced it recently? In the last twelve months? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | It's tainted. |
W: | Is it? |
A: | I can taste it's tainted. |
W: | Would you prefer we swapped? Mine isn't tainted. I've checked and it isn't. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Is that better? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Piers, does the new will include provision for your son? |
A: | Where is he? |
W: | Where is he? He lives in the house in Albert Park. You remember the house. |
A: | He said I should confess. |
W: | You mean the newspaper? Yes, I saw. |
A: | He said it. |
W: | When a newspaper smells a scoop, they're like a shark that smells blood. |
A: | The newspaper is not the shark. |
W: | You think someone else is the shark? |
A: | No. Sharks kill to survive. They're not assassins. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Piers, is it your intention that Rudy should be thoroughly disinherited? |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | They told me at the front desk that you don't permit your son to visit. Why not? |
A: | He has to come forward of his own accord. When he does, then ask me about forgiveness. |
W: | Forgiveness for what? |
A: | The very worst of crimes. Though perhaps it is what we demanded. |
W: | What did he do? |
A: | I choose not to say. There's a man in here who did the same thing. The same crime. His eyes are broken. |
W: | What did Rudy do? |
A: | I choose not to say. In here they call it turning dog. I won't turn dog. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Do you miss your son? |
A: | Do you miss your tea? |
W: | This is my tea. |
A: | No, this is yours. And you've got mine. It's got my DNA and I shunned it. Because it's tainted. But I never turned dog. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | Busby knew. That's why he ran away. Perhaps he saw. He never turned dog either. Because he's a dog. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Piers, is Rudy provided for in your new will? |
A: | No. |
W: | Why not? |
A: | Not in the way you mean. |
W: | In what way? |
A: | I'm leaving the boy something more. Something special. A family heirloom. |
W: | What heirloom? |
A: | Something incredible. |
W: | What is it? |
A: | The blessing of a short life. |
W: | What does that mean? |
A: | Yes. |
W: | What do you mean? |
A: | Yes it has a meaning. |
W: | What is it? |
A: | African children are the same. The dead ones, I mean. |
W: | I see. |
A: | The dead ones have a meaning. |
W: | Right. If I arranged for a psychological evaluation for you, Mister Alamein, would you consent to that? |
A: | They don't know it. We all know it but we don't want to say it. They die for a rock. That's a meaning. None of us get that. I won't get that. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | Just a shade of a garnet. Not a ruby. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | I'm sorry, Piers. I didn't want to upset you. |
A: | Insects or children. Children or insects. It's biological. Reverse larval. ( inaudible ) |
( 5-second interval ) | |
A: | You think I ( inaudible ). |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | It's all right. Come on, now. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | It's all right. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | Perhaps I'll go. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | It's all right. I'll go. I might come back when you're feeling better. |
( 5-second interval ) | |
W: | I'll come back when you're feeling better. |
UNKNOWN: ( inaudible ) |