Black Thursday (3 page)

two

I certainly didn't expect
this particular evening to be quite the way it was turning out, but despite a moonless night and the threat of snow flurries, a substantial crowd was already lined up along the sidewalk in front of Bargain Barn and weaving its way around the side of the building.

Anastasia was there when I arrived. She greeted me outside the news van with a makeup-preserving air kiss and gave my casual-yet-camera-friendly ensemble of dark pea coat, mauve silk blouse, black slacks, and matching accent scarf an approving once over. “I'd say this divorce is agreeing with you.” She wrinkled her delicate, bobbed nose. “Except that those people heading in our direction look far too much like Frank not to be his parents.”

We watched together as Eloise met up with Joyce, Gerald, Barb, and Craig, who'd followed us over to Bargain Barn in a second car.

“Not to mention his brother and sister.” We weren't friends exactly, but given Anastasia was Frank's co-anchor apparent for
Frank Finance
, the now on-hold national version of his popular local show, and so she was well aware of the particulars of our collapsed marriage. There was no reason not to tell her the latest developments in my ongoing marital saga. “His whole family showed up for Thanksgiving.”

She raised an expertly plucked eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Hard as that may be to believe.”

Anastasia's heavily sprayed blond bob stayed firmly in place as she shook her head. “I can't believe you had them all for dinner, much less to tag along tonight.”

“Lighting check,” someone from the crew said.

Before I could explain that I hadn't exactly invited them for either event, Frank materialized from the news van holding a makeup kit and sponge. “You're a little shiny,” he said, dabbing my forehead like a seasoned makeup artist.

“You could be a model!” Joyce said loudly, announcing the
arrival of the Michaels gang. Her faux chinchilla coat (which I suspected wasn't faux at all) made an even louder statement. “Couldn't she?”

“Thin enough to be.” Craig, whose taste in women ran to the pleasingly plump, scrunched his face a little.

Barb offered her hand to Anastasia. “We're here to watch Maddie's big moment.”

“And pick up some cool deals while we're at it.” Craig shook hands as well but looked wistfully toward the burgeoning crowd in front of Bargain Barn.

“None of this was my idea,” I managed to mouth from behind their heads.

Anastasia gave me an
it's all good
wink.

“Maybe we should get in line and save a place for Maddie so she doesn't miss out on anything while she's being interviewed,” Craig added.

“Great idea,” Joyce said.

“No need,” Anastasia said. “Alan Bader is letting us in the employee door early to film the crowds entering, so you'll be first in line.”

“Awesome,” Craig said. “Maybe I'll be able to get the TV
and
snag one of the sound systems.”

“How can we be of help in the meantime?” Joyce reached into her oversized purse and pulled out two water bottles, a box of granola bars, and a pack of gum. “Anyone need a snack?”

“Ready when you are, Stasia,” the cameraman said.

“Why don't you just watch and enjoy?” Frank, always the consummate professional (at least where his job was concerned) immediately whisked his family over to a spot behind the camera.

“They're all on their very best behavior,” I whispered.

“No surprises there.” Anastasia led me over to two X marks taped to the cement and stood on hers. “You ready?”

My pounding heart certainly wasn't. The first and last time I'd been on stage, much less in front of a camera, was in elementary school when I'd tried out to play the Dormouse but instead been cast as Alice in the third grade play. Needless to say, my understudy, Suzie Shultz, had taken over after the first performance—a memory I'd somehow managed to suppress until now. “I …”

“You're going to do great,” Frank said, returning to my side. “Just remember—”

“Feet shoulder-width apart, arms to your sides, lean slightly forward,” Eloise said in a dead-on imitation of the instructions Frank had repeated ad nauseam on the drive over. “And speak a little louder and a lot slower than normal.”

“Exactly,” Frank said, handling being teased better than expected. “And put your cell on silent.”

“Will do,” I managed, managing to at least get the ringer on my phone turned off.

“I'll introduce the segment and introduce you,” Anastasia said. “Then you take it from there.”

“Great.” My knees began to tremble.

“The camera senses fear,” Frank whispered, “so think happy thoughts.”

Happy thoughts
…

Even though it was in my nature to be upbeat and generally positive, somehow I couldn't think about much of anything but that camera lens staring at me with its one skeptical eye.

I was thankful, however, that I'd doubled up my Lady Speed Stick with an extra swipe of Secret when the light went on and Anastasia instantly transformed from rosy-cheeked and pretty into a luminous, poised, intelligent beauty.

She leaned slightly forward, just as Frank had directed me, and assumed an expression of confident, serene intelligence. “While many of us haven't even started to fight over the wishbone, savvy local shoppers looking to cash in on early-bird bargains have already set up camp, quite literally, outside local retailers …”

The camera panned away from Anastasia and onto a scene that looked like a winter barn raising—complete with bundled-up shoppers lined up alongside the farm mural running the length of the concrete building.

“With the prices we're hearing about on everything from appliances to big entertainment systems, it's no wonder shoppers are clamoring to leave their cozy spots by the fire and bring the whole family out for the Thursday night bargains.”

The next thing I knew I'd been guided/moved/gently shoved onto my X.

“Remember to look at Stasia, not the camera,” Frank whispered.

A bead of perspiration rolled from the nape of my neck down my spine.

“With me today is Maddie Michaels, better known to many of you as local bargain hunting maven Mrs. Frugalicious.”

To say my life flashed before my eyes would be a little overstatement and a lot Gerald-style cliché, but for one never-ending second, everything went white. Everything, that is, except the red-hot feeling in my ears and the sight of Frank reminding me to smile by pressing up the corners of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger.

I tried to force the panic stiff muscles in my face to follow suit as Anastasia continued:

“I love a good deal and I'm all for a fun family outing to help burn off that turkey and pie, but when I look at all the people gathered out here, frankly I'm awestruck and, I have to admit, a little overwhelmed …”

With the word
overwhelmed
, I locked my knees to keep them from buckling. I willed myself to not think about my disastrous turn as Alice in Wonderland. If only I'd practiced my lines in front of someone instead of the mirror. If only I'd been prepared to take on a lead role …

“It's all a matter of preparation,” I finally said.

To my complete surprise, my voice didn't crack in the slightest.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see people waving from the line, including my friend and business contemporary Wendy Killian from
Here's the Deal
magazine.

“Knock 'em dead!” Barb whisper-screamed from the sidelines.

Imagine the viewers are a group of friendly supporters
, Frank had said during the drive over.

Fact was, they already were.

“Black Friday is a big, crazy shopping day and it starts earlier every year,” I heard come out of my dry mouth. “But if you do your homework and come ready to get what you came for at the lowest prices, it's by far the best.”

My smile morphed from forced to real when I caught sight of someone holding a sign:
GO MRS. FRUGALICIOUS!

“You don't have to be a seasoned bargain hunter to take advantage of the incredible deals out there tonight if you follow these steps …”

I hadn't had time to panic about being on camera until I was about to go live, but instead of freezing completely, somehow I felt my shoulders relax, noted my hands were indeed at my sides, and realized I kind of liked the opportunity to reach an audience much wider than the band of dedicated bargain shoppers who frequented my site.

“To start,” I said, with what felt like a little louder than normal voice, “go through all of the newspaper ads, online sites, and price-comparison phone apps ahead of time and figure out what you want to buy, where to go to get it, and in what order. Once you figure out where you're headed, ‘like' those retailers on social media sites and sign up for their email lists to get extra coupons and last-minute deals.”

Anastasia nodded thoughtfully.

“And don't limit yourself to the big-name chains. Some of the very best doorbuster deals this year are at stores like Bargain Barn, where you can combine Black Friday prices with Small Business Saturday shopping for a true win-win.”

“All on Thursday night.”

“Exactly.” I smiled.

“So, figure out what you want, what you're going to pay, and the best place to go to buy it?”

“And be sure to bring copies of those ads so you know you're getting the right price, especially at stores offering to match or beat competitors' prices,” I said. “Mainly though, you need to make sure you're comparing apples to apples. A big-screen TV that comes bundled with a video game system and DVD player may be a better value than a bigger TV that costs less at another store.”

“Good advice,” Anastasia said. “And what about preparing for the actual shopping itself ?”

I couldn't believe it, but I was feeling a lot more like a seasoned professional than the almost-ex-wife of one. “If you're going to snag a highly sought after item or three, you're going to be out there for the long haul, so make your wait as comfortable as possible by bringing lawn chairs, blankets, coffee, water, snacks, and even games.” As I stopped to take a surreptitious breath, Eloise gave me the thumbs up. “I also suggest you bring along fellow shoppers who are as excited as you are about Black Friday and leave those grouchy spouses home with the potentially whiny kids and sleepy babies who will only slow you down.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Anastasia said, having noted the
THEY'RE READY INSIDE
someone had jotted on a piece of paper and held up for her. “Thank you for that enlightening and incredibly useful information, Mrs. Frugalicious.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Anastasia smiled broadly. Her smile grew that much bigger when the camera faded to black. “I knew you'd be a natural.”

“Atta girl!” Joyce said, rushing over to envelop me in a hug.

“Terrific!” Barb said, trailing behind them.

“Wow!” Frank said, nodding. “Way better than even I expected.”

_____

Even though I may have omitted a helpful tip or two
9
in the midst of it all, I pretty much felt, well … if not like I was a
natural
, at least totally energized by the first part of my interview and excited for what was still to come.

Spending Thanksgiving with my estranged husband's family was a definite departure from my original plan, but so was Black Friday in general. As such, having them along wasn't an entirely bad thing in that I had a bargain posse
10
made up of more than just Eloise. And Frank, despite all the water under our bridge, had really helped relieve what could have been a crippling case of stage fright.

Any other lingering concerns about the evening, including possible negative fallout from Contrary Claire's short-lived gripe, also began to fade with Awesome Alan Bader's warm greeting at the side entrance of Bargain Barn. Not to mention the sheer exhilaration when he led us inside a store empty of shoppers. A store overstocked to the rafters with everything from closeout auto parts to zebra-striped, wall-to-wall carpeting.

“I can't tell you how much I appreciate having you folks here.” Alan's eyes sparkled with a giddy, almost boyish excitement. “For once, the big-box outfits have to compete against us!”

I'd never actually met Alan in person, but felt I knew him from our friendly, borderline-flirtatious business conversations. That and his trademark commercials, which featured him—slick, stocky, and definitely cocky and always in a Bargain Barn polo—standing next to some prized horse, cow, or sheep and whatever appliance or furniture item he was trying to push. With his firm handshake, I was struck by how much better-looking he was in person. His hair, which I'd assumed to be dyed brown, was really salt and pepper. His signature gold bracelet and necklace, which seemed to shimmer on camera, were more smart than showy in real life. He was also a little shorter, but at least ten pounds thinner (confirming that old adage about TV and making me happy to have made my onscreen debut at an all-time low weight).

“How about we get you on camera before things get rolling, Alan?” Anastasia asked.

“Impromptu interviews aren't for me.” He flashed a smile at me. “I think I'll leave the commentary to Maddie tonight.”

“Don't you think we should set up the camera beside the front doors and back to the right ten feet or so, then?” Frank asked.

Anastasia did a quick scan of Bargain Barn's floor-to-ceiling, warehouse style aisles. “For starters.”

“There's an even better view of the front doors from over there.” Alan pointed toward the Customer Service counter where two salesgirls were putting out what had to be Black Friday maps
11
to help shoppers locate the specials set up throughout the store.