Black & Ugly (11 page)

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I remember he is still a man. "You okay, chile?"

"I'm fine, Miss Wayne. I'm just getting up, and my mother already yellin' like she lost her fuckin' mind." My mother yells, "Bitch, get your black ass off my phone. How dare you talk about me like that, you ungrateful little bitch."

"
Ooooh.
Bye, guurl," Miss Wayne says as he hangs up.

That's all I need. She's gonna be screamin' in my face for the next thirty minutes until it is time for her to go to work unless I get out this house. I grab my bag and stuff some undies and some clothes in it. I decide to shower over whoever's house I crash at later. I slide on my shoes and determine that I'm on my way to Sky's. She lives in the building behind mine and we have a lot to talk about, anyway.

I open my bedroom door and my mother is in my face, just as I figured she would be.

"You've gotten too fuckin' disrespectful, Parade. I wonder if
Miss
Wayne," she says sarcastically, "talks to his mother like you talk to yours." She's still tripping over the name he asked us to call him when he was in the fourth grade.

"Ma, look how you talk to me. You or Daddy never say nothing nice to me. The only thing you say is how black and ugly I am, and he says nothing at all. I don't need to hear all that," I continue as I move toward the door.

Why couldn't I just leave without sayin' something to her? Now she'll be all on my case and probably carry
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our business out into the hallway.

"I call you ugly 'cuz you are. And if you'd go out and get a job, you wouldn't have to worry about me being in your face."

Remember I said I knew I was ugly the moment she handed me a mirror? That's because she reminded me every day from that moment forward. But outside of her being five-foot-three, we look just alike. Maybe Grandma told her the same thing when she was growing up. I do remember her telling Daddy that Grandma did things like make her wear the same clothes three days in a row when she was in high school, and about the time she forbade her to take a bath for a whole week.

"Ma, every time I get a job I get fired 'cuz you keep callin' me tellin' me to come home and wash the dish-es or cook Daddy somethin' to eat. Them supervisors don't want to hear nothing 'bout me leaving work to fry my father some chicken. They have businesses to run."

"And there's something wrong with cooking dinner for your father? Wait till I tell him how you really feel.

See, he thinks I'm too rough on you. But wait until he hears that you don't like cookin' for him, that you're complainin' and shit."

"Ma, I didn't say that. I'm saying it's hard to keep a job when you do things like that. And the last time I said I couldn't leave work, you threatened to throw my things out."

"Don't try to get out of it now, Parade. If you feel
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that way, that's how you feel. I'll be making sure he knows."

I know what she's doin'. She knows Daddy and me have a closer relationship than she and I have, even though it isn't perfect. The truth is, it's hard to have one with him since he is hardly ever here. He's a con-struction worker who gets up early in the morning and comes back late at night. I know he's home when I smell his feet. He's always had a terrible foot odor and used to leave his work boots directly outside of the door in the hallway. At first the neighbors complained about how funky it smelled out there, but eventually they got over it. However, when his boots were gone one day, he started leaving them in front of the door inside the apartment.

"You know what? Tell Daddy whatever you want, Ma. I'm outta here," I snap as I slam the door.

Once in the hallway, I rush out of the building so she can't see which one of my friends' houses I am headed toward. That's the only messed up part about living in the same complex as my friends. She knows where they live, especially Miss Wayne because he lives in the same building as me. So going to see him is definitely not an option.

I get outside and I see Melvin's car next to Daffany's building. His friend lives upstairs from her, so I figure he's over there checking him out, but I am not in the mood to see him right now either.

~~~~

I make it to Sky's building and I see Jay's car
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parked out front. I should turn around, but in a way, I want to see him. He called my phone over six times when I was at the party last night, and I wonder if it's possible for him to actually miss me.

"Hey, Sky. We need to talk," I tell her as she opens the door.

"I know. Look, come in and go to my room. I'ma get rid of Jay in a minute."

I walk in and see him eating pancakes at the kitchen table. Her parents' car isn't out front but even if it was, they like Jay so much that he's there most of the time anyway. Unlike at Sky's house, if I'm having company, my entire house has to be clear.

A strange feeling comes over me when I see him, and I'm kinda jealous at the scene. Just yesterday he was blowin' my phone up and now he is eatin' pancakes and bacon at her kitchen table.

"Hey, Jay," I speak as I walk toward Sky's room. He doesn't say anything to me, just nods.

"Parade, go in the room and I'll be there in a sec," she says irritated, probably because I acknowledged her man.

On the sneak tip, I look through her hamper to find the white pants. I see them and my heart sinks. Almost the entire front is covered in dried blood. I grab the pants and stuff them in my backpack before she comes into the room. I don't know why I did it. I just did. She spends thirty minutes with Jay before I hear the front door close.

She walks in the room, shaken up and real nervous.

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"You hear anything yet?" she asks, closing the door as if we are not alone. "They know it was me?" she questions, sitting on the end of her bed.

"Calm down, Sky," I say, trying to relax her. She has me on edge, and I haven't even heard anything.

"No. I came by to see if you heard something," I continue as I get up and sit on the chair across from Sky so I can look in her face.

"Nothin', Parade. I'm so fuckin' scared I don't know what to do. Jay came over here last night but I didn't want to even see him."

"Oh, I didn't know he came over," I say, trying to prevent the jealousy from consuming me.

"Yes, but I didn't tell him nothin.' I just hope she's okay. I ain't mean to hurt her, Parade, but she jumped in my face. You know I don't play that shit."

"Well, what exactly happened?" I ask, feeling relieved that I will finally get the full story.

Sky takes a deep breath, and tears roll down her face. It's the first time I have ever seen her cry.

"She walks up to me and says, 'I know I know you from somewhere,' when I was outside hittin' the last of the bob we had in the car."

"Where was Jewel?" I ask, attempting to bring light to the fact that the bitch left her alone.

"She was talking to Silver somewhere."

"Oh," I say as I shake my head. "I don't see why she would leave you by yourself. That's stupid."

"Lada for that, Parade," she asserts, brushing me off. I think she knows what I am getting at though. "So
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anyway, she comes up to me and starts talking shit. I started to come get y'all, but I ain't want her thinkin' I couldn't hold my own. We exchanged a few words and out of nowhere, she stole me. And when she did, she knocked me up against Donna's father's toolbox. My back still hurts now," she says as she stands up so I can see the black and blue marks on her back.

She sits down and says, "So once I was down, she started hitting me again with some long iron thing she found in the backyard. I still don't know where she got it from, Parade. I was yelling for her to stop, hoping somebody would come outside. But nobody could hear shit in the house over the music. And if you looked outside from the sliding glass door, it was too dark to see because there was barely any light. So, I had to defend myself, Parade. I fuckin' had to.