Black & Ugly (28 page)

"Jay, I'm not your girlfriend and I've been meaning to talk to you about what we're doing anyway."

"What's up?"

"What we have together, whatever it is, is gonna have to stop. I think Sky's suspecting something and I'm not cool with it no more. She's like my best friend."

"Are you kiddin' me, bitch? You get in my pockets for over eight hundred dollars in the past few weeks and now you wanna cut me off? Fuck that shit."

"I'm sorry, Jay," I say with my hands in front of me in case he acts stupid. "Look, I start a job next week.

I'll pay back everything I got from you, I promise. It's just that I love Sky and I don't want to sneak around wit' you no more. I want you two to work on your relationship."

"What you talkin' 'bout, Parade? We been fuckin'

for over six months and now all of sudden you got a conscience?"

"I've
been
conscious about what we're doin'. Do you know she asked to use my phone one day from here to call you? Do you know that if I had let her use it, she would've seen your name pop up as Secret Lover? I'm tired of doing this shit, Jay. That was way too close for me. And lately, she hasn't returned any of my calls. It wasn't until Daffany got hurt that I even
T. Styles

163

Triple Crown Publications presents . . .

seen her," I explain as he walks all the way into the apartment and begins to look around.

"Yeah, Sky called me and told me what happened and that's some fucked-up shit," he continues as he stands in front of me. "I told Sky if she knew who did that shit, I'd deal wit' that nigga for her. His ass woulda made the list along with the mothafucka who raped my niece. But Sky said Daffany ain't know who it was."

"Yeah. Even if she does know, she won't tell us," I respond and back away from him. "She don't like nobody knowing her business."

"Look," he says, walking up to me again and placing one of his arms around my waist. "I ain't tryin' to stop what we got right now. I think I'm checkin' for you and that pussy curves to my dick." He smiles as if that will turn me on. "So we ain't cuttin' shit off till the fuck
I
say so."

"Oh, so what, you think me and Sky is supposed to be available to you whenever you want us to?" I pause, waiting for his response. "Well, I'm not fucking around wit' you no more. I want a man and family of my own someday, and not one who doesn't belong to me."

"Why you lunchin'?" he asks as he walks away from me toward Daffany's window. I guess he's checking on his car or somethin'. "Listen, kill that noise man

'cuz you've been takin' my money so as far as I'm concerned, you belong to me. Unless you want me to tell her what we've been doin'."

"Why would you do that? She'll be mad at you, too,
164

T. Styles

Black and Ugly

Jay."

"Man, I don't give a fuck. I cut her ass off the other day, anyway. I ain't even hear from her until she called about Daf."

"So you don't fuck with her no more? 'Cuz Miss Wayne told me he saw her get in your car last night."

"That's only 'cuz she pressin' me. I ain't fuckin' wit'

that girl, for real."

"Oh! So, now that you through with her, you'll ruin my friendship?"

"Like I said, it ain't over till
I
say it's over." I can't believe that calling it quits with Jay is harder on him than it is on me. He doesn't even care if Sky finds out about us, but she wouldn't waste any time cutting me off. I wish I had never gotten involved with him.

"Just so you know, you can't make me fuck wit' you if I don't want to," I state as I look at him. "So even if you tell her, that doesn't mean I'll be bothered with you."

"What I'm sayin' is this," he speaks real slowly.

"This will end when the fuck I want it to end. Don't start changin' on me just 'cuz you got your hair done and shit. It's my money that made it possible." He pauses and snatches my arm. "I ain't neva had a black bitch cut me off before and I ain't startin' now. You feel me, Parade?" He grabs my arm tighter.

"Yes," I reply and nod.

Now what? I don't know what he has planned for me. His phone rings. I know it's Sky by his response.

T. Styles

165

Triple Crown Publications presents . . .

Thank God. Who knows what he was about to do? All I want is for this to be over and for him to move on.

This is a mistake I'll never make again. Maybe I should just tell Sky the truth and get it over with myself.

"Look, I gotta go," he says, breaking my train of thought, "but this conversation ain't over. If you fuckin' wit' some other cat, get rid of his ass if you can't handle us both. I'm out." He drops several hundred dollars and leaves.

166

T. Styles

Black and Ugly

25

Sky

LOOKING AT JAY'S CAR IN front of Daffany's apartment building hurts like seeing another female rockin'

the same exclusive outfit. Why do he have to do this shit to me? We just got back together, and I thought things were working out. I do everything he wants me to do except get rid of my friends, including the bitch who is trying to steal my man. And to think I actually felt bad for dissin' her lately. That was my whole reason for going over her house but when her mother told me she was at Miss Wayne's, I went there.

He was the one who told me she's cleaning Daffany's apartment for her, again. I think they are doin' an awful lot for somebody who got beat up because she's a whore. Everything she got is partially her fault.

Seeing my boyfriend's car makes me hate everything and everybody. I'm gettin' ready to fuck him up.

"You want me to go with you?" Jewel asks.

"No. Wait in the car."

T. Styles

167

Triple Crown Publications presents . . .

I don't want Jewel hearing or seeing whatever is getting ready to happen. The only reason she's with me is because she popped over my house when I was looking for Parade. But now as I see my boyfriend's white Yukon sitting outside Daffany's apartment, I can no longer hide the tears even if I want to.

So I tell Jewel almost everything, like how he's probably been fucking with her for the past five months right under my fucking nose. Even though I wish I had never invited her along, she makes me feel better by saying if he wants to fuck with a hood rat then he doesn't deserve me anyway. She's right, but it doesn't change the fact that for once in life, it will look like Parade got the best of me.

I get out the car and walk up to the building. I want to catch him in Daffany's apartment but he's coming down the steps in the hallway.

"What you doing here, Jay?! Why you ain't answer your phone?"

His eyes grow wide, and I know I've caught his no-good ass red-handed. He probably came out looking for my car 'cuz I called him, but I parked on the side of the building so he wouldn't see me.

"There you go," he says all loud. "I been lookin' for you."

"You been lookin' for me? No the fuck you ain't been lookin' for me either. The only thing you been lookin' for was Parade's black ass."

"Why you gotta be all loud and shit in the hallway?" he responds, trying to intimidate me.

168

T. Styles

Black and Ugly

It doesn't work. All I can think about is that he's embarrassed me, and now Jewel will know that my man chose a dusty bitch over me. Plus, I can't talk low if I want to. He's carried me.

"Why I gotta be loud? Why the fuck I gotta be loud? I gotta be loud 'cuz you cheatin' on me with Parade, Jay! I'da never pegged you for a dirty nigga.

Do you realize how many dudes want to be with me that I passed up fuckin' wit' you, Jay?" He's quiet, but the look he gives me doesn't look like guilt. He looks like he has something else on his mind that I don't know anything about.

"You gonna feel real stupid after this shit, Sky. Real fuckin' stupid."

"What you talking about, Jay? How the fuck I'm gonna feel stupid when you the one sleeping with my best friend?"

"You gonna feel real stupid because you got shit all wrong, that's why."