Black & Ugly (34 page)

Triple Crown Publications presents . . .

someone or something. First it was men, then coke and now it's crack. I always had to fend for myself or I would've had nothing. And, on many nights, I had to take care of her, too.

"Baby, I'm sorry. When Sky came and got me to look after the apartment while you were in the hospital," she said, continuously moving around, "I lost it." The idea of Sky getting her to watch my place bothers me. Sky knows my mother can't be trusted with a butter knife, let alone a fully furnished apartment. I try my hardest not to think that she did it on purpose, but I'm starting to believe she's just that conniving.

"I tried to do what she wanted me to, baby," she continues, "but this shit got me all fucked up, real fucked up in the head, Daffany. I thought if I invited a few people over to take just a few things, they'd give me some money and that you wouldn't notice."

"That I wouldn't notice? Are you that gone, Mamma? Why wouldn't I fuckin' notice?" I scream.

"I mean, I thought it would be okay. But then they started taking everything ... I told them not to touch your clothes and stuff, but they took them, too."

"So, you had strangers in my house?" I ask, inter-nalizing the concept of people entering my home to steal my things with my mother's help. "Do you realize how bad you make me look?"

"I'm sorry, baby," she says as she tries to touch my left arm, but I snatch it back.

"Who was it, Mamma? Who came in my place and stole my things? Huh? I don't want them back. I just
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gotta know who witnessed a mother stealing from her daughter," I continue then stand.

"It was a bunch of people," she says with her head hanging lower than Jay's chain.

"A bunch of people like who, Mamma? Who came in my fucking house? I deserve for you to tell me that, at least!" I yell.

"Umm ... that little boy Marcus, and ummmm, Karen ... and her oldest son, Keith. And, ummmmm ...

the rest I can't remember. I'm sorry, Daffany, and I want you to know ... this is it for me. I ain't fuckin'

with that shit no more. That shit has made me steal from my baby. This is it, for real. I'm gonna be a real mother to you, just wait and see." I look at my mother with disgust and pity. I can no longer count the number of times she's said that to me.

I know that little boy Marcus she's talking about is nobody else but Markee. I'm afraid - afraid that she will not know the answer to the most important question I have to ask her. It's now obvious that she did this for profit, so what happened to my papers? They couldn't benefit her or any of them other rogues. Still, I have to ask.

"Mamma, there were some very important papers under the bed. Where are they?" I question as I gently grab her arms and look at her face - a once beautiful face that now resembles one of a fifty-nine-year-old instead of a thirty-nine-year-old.

She starts to scratch her hair then her arms. I can tell she is really thinking, but fifteen years of smoking
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crack has taken a toll. I decide to leave after realizing she doesn't know anything and if she did, she can't remember.

"Nevermind, Mamma," I say as I head for the door then walk out.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
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32

Sky

DESPITE WHAT HAPPENED, I DECIDE to come anyway.

There is no way I will allow her to steal my man without a chance at stealing hers, too. I've been looking at him all night, and I have a feeling he wants me. They always do.

"So, Parade tells me you live around here, too," he says.

"Yes, Cannon," I answer seductively with a smile.

"I've been living around here all my life."

"It must be nice to have friends in your life you've known for so long," he continues as I turn to look at Miss Wayne and Parade who are still in the kitchen. I roll my eyes.

"It's okay.
I guess
."

"Oh, really?" he says as if he detects something in my voice. "I'm gonna leave that one alone." Oh! I feel we are starting to connect. Damn! The bitch calls me from the kitchen.

"Sky! Did you want anything? We gonna start the
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game when Daffany gets here." Yes, bitch. I would like my man back. Can you do that? I wonder.

Instead, I say, "No thank you,
very good friend
." I give them both my super fake-ass smile, the one that I had reserved for Jay's niece.

I notice that Cannon appears to be staring at me, and not like he wants me, but more like he is trying to understand me.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, trying to feel him out.

"Yeah. Everything's cool."

Just then, Parade and Miss Wayne come out of the kitchen holding a tray with a bunch of snacks - pigs in the blanket, cheese and crackers, potato chips and potato salad. I've never understood what's up with him and potato salad. He eats that shit every day.

"Here you go, ladies and gentleman," he says in his usual gay manner. "Dinner is served." He's wearing a red spaghetti-strapped dress with his fuzzy red slippers since we're not going out and I think he looks ridiculous. If I were Parade, I would be embarrassed, but the two of them appear to be in another world. Her hair looks freshly done, so I can tell it's new. This time she has soft curls throughout her head and is wearing a Calvin Klein skirt set with a fresh pair of tennis shoes. Once again, she has a new bag and this one is by Marc Jacobs. Out of anger, I drop three pigs in a blanket on the floor. They don't stain.

Damn!

Her man isn't paying enough attention to me so I
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decide to remove my jean jacket, stand up and flaunt the form-fitting Donna Karan dress as if I were on a runway.

"What you doin', girl? Giving us a fashion show?" Miss Wayne laughs.

"No," I respond, feeling embarrassed. "I'm just going to get something to drink."

"Damn it, I did forget the drinks, didn't I? Honey chile, bring me something, too. I want a Coke!" Miss Wayne yells. "And what y'all want?" he asks Parade and Cannon who appear to be on their own planet with all the kissing.

"I want Coke, too, Sky. What you want, baby?" she asks as she reaches in for another kiss. He accepts.

"Nothin'," he snaps, staring at me like he is looking straight through me instead of at me.

I hate them bitches. Trying to carry me in front of company. Any other time, Parade would be waiting on me.

I grab two glasses, move out of their view from the living room, turn around and dig my hands between my legs. Then, I stick my finger in my pussy and smear it on the inside of Miss Wayne and Parade's glasses. I'm getting ready to pour the soda. I turn back around and look Cannon dead in his eyes.

"You need any help?" he asks.

I'm so shaken by knowing he saw me that I drop one of the glasses on the kitchen floor.

"Oh my goodness, is everything okay?" Miss Wayne asks as he runs in to help. "You okay, Sky?" he asks
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again as he checks my stiff body for any cuts. I can't respond at first because my eyes are still glued to Cannon's.

"I'm okay," I say, putting the other glass on the counter.

"Well, let me get the drinks. Go sit down, honey. I'll clean this mess. I should stop being so lazy and get it my damn self. After all, I am the hostess." Miss Wayne reaches into the cabinet, gets another glass and is about to pour the Coke in the one I smeared with pussy juice. Cannon snatches it from him.

"Don't use this. It's dirty," he interjects then puts it in the sink and walks out of the kitchen.

"Okay," Miss Wayne responds and smiles. "Girl, Cannon is so attentive. You got you a good man there, Parade!" he calls out.

Miss Wayne turns around and looks at me. I'm still stuck.