Black & Ugly (39 page)

They live in Largo, Maryland, which is an upscale part of the state about forty-five minutes from me.

Whenever I talk to him, he tells me he's getting dicked down with eleven inches or something else nasty like that. He's such a freak. Just as long as he's happy, I'm good.

Markee was convicted for the murder of Russell Hargrove a.k.a. Eclipse a.k.a. Cannon. He didn't last three days in jail because Jay paid somebody to sodom-ize him with a broom handle and slit his throat. He said it was for raping his niece and stealing her ATM

card a couple of months back. They found out he was
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responsible for that, too, after running his prints. I guess all the shit he did finally caught up with his ass, truly. So, Silver and Jay have major beef now.

Anyway, I'm on my way to meet Daffany and Miss Wayne at PG Plaza. I can't wait to see them because I miss them so much. That's one thing I can say is different about where I live now. Back at the Manor, I had all my friends accessible. Now, I don't.

They arrive at the mall and we all hug for five minutes as if we didn't just see each other last week.

"Hey, girl!" Miss Wayne screams. "I'm lovin' your hair. You done got all fly on a nigga and shit. DO IT

BITCH YEOOUUUSSSSS!" he says as he hits my arm.

"Thank you, baby. Workin' at that salon pays off. I get my hair done free because they don't like their employees looking any kind of way," I tell him.

What's sad is that since everything happened with Sky, and I left home, I finally feel better about myself.

Maybe I should've distanced myself from people who brought me down a long time ago. Now I realize that I'm black and beautiful. It's a shame it took a murderer to show me that.

I'm still hiding a secret from my friends. I have a new man and it's serious. The only thing is he's a drug dealer. I met him a week after Sky's murder.

~~~~

In the wake of Daffany's HIV status, I decided to go get tested. I went to the clinic in downtown DC that gives immediate results. I had unprotected sex with too many men including Melvin and Jay. I'm sure Sky was
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having unprotected sex with Jay, too, and who knows if either of them was fucking Daffany, so I was scared.

Thank God I'm negative. After receiving my results, I decided to go to Arundel Mills Mall and buy a new pair of shoes. A diamond necklace in the window of a jewelry store caught my eye as I was leaving the mall. I stopped to look and stood there staring at it for few minutes. I searched through my purse already knowing I didn't have enough cash to make the purchase. I couldn't help but think about Cannon and everything he did for me when I thought he was real. I'm sure he would have bought the necklace for me in another time and in another life. Just as a tear fell down my cheek, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around.

"Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you are absolutely beautiful," he said. "I mean stunning."

"Thank you," I responded and smiled as I wiped my tear.
Damn! He's fine,
I thought and continued to smile. At that point, I understood what Miss Wayne was talking about when referring to them chocolate boys.

He has smooth deep chocolate skin with strong facial features. I bet Sky would not have called him black and ugly even though he's dark. His complexion matches mine to a "T" and in a way, I feel connected to him because of it. He is handsome, flawless and clean from head to toe. His eyes are bright and round with thick lashes topped with perfect brows while his lips are full and extremely kissable.

"You're very handsome yourself."
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"Thank you," he replied. "I can't believe it. You remind me so much of my wife," his voice faded as he spoke those last few words. "What's your name?"

"Parade," I answered.

"
Parade?
" he responded. He looked surprised. His eyes roamed over my body. He appeared to be study-ing me. As I was about to ask him if he knew me, a woman approached with a crying baby.

"Excuse me," he said as he took the baby from her and held him in his arms. He continued to study me.

"He misses his mother." I raised my left eyebrow. "She passed ..." I felt bad for him because the baby eased up a little but continued to whine. For some reason, the little boy looked at me and paused. I set my bag and my purse on the floor then reached my arms out and he came to me. I rocked him a bit then rubbed his back and he smiled at his daddy. He tried to pull at my hair, but I caught the grip of his palm, rattled his soft, little hand then ran it across the side of my face. He laughed.

"And, your name is?" I asked since I was holding his baby.

"Carvelas, but everybody calls me Smokes," he said. It looked like a light bulb went off in his head.

"Have we met?" he questioned.

"No, I don't think so," I responded as I continued to make smiley faces at his child. "Do you know me?"

"Naw," he said, clearing his throat. "I thought you were somebody else."

"Oh," I replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Parade, would you allow me to purchase that
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necklace for you?"

"Uh, what necklace?" I responded, pretending I didn't know what he was referring to.

"The one I saw you looking at before I walked up on you. I mean, you were staring at it, weren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, holding my head down. "It's beautiful."

"No ... it's classy," he corrected me. "
You're
beautiful. I would really love for you to have it," he continued. "Just a small token of my appreciation."

"Appreciation for what?" I questioned, wondering what I did to deserve such an expensive gift from a complete stranger. "I don't even know you."

"Trust me, I know more about you than you think." His eyes were serious and almost scary, but I trusted him.

"Why you say that?"

"I can just tell what kind of person you are," he responded.

"In that case," I smiled, still holding the baby firm-ly in my arms, "sure."

For once in my life, I decided to let a man do what he wanted to for me. It wasn't like the situation with me and Jay. I wasn't being paid for a service.

When he disappeared into the store, I sat on a bench and the woman who was caring for the baby grabbed my bags and joined me. I was sure he was gonna say he left his money and couldn't buy it for me.

Still, I played with the child, who liked the way I bounced him in my lap, until Smokes returned. He
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stepped behind me and I noticed his hairy arm as he placed the pendant around my neck.
Damn, he smells
like money
, I thought. Then, I felt a tingling sensation take over my body. He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and said, "This is just the beginning." Since then, we've been inseparable. That's why I had to keep brushing Jay off. Although he said he wanted us to be together after Sky was murdered, I knew he could never be true to me. I guess he's the one with hurt feelings now.

I love spending time with Smokes. He makes me feel good to be me, all over. Last night we were laying in his bed watching America's Next Top Model and he dug into a part of me that no man had ever explored before.

"Parade," he said, "as a child, what was the one thing you wanted out of life?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Come on baby," he persisted. "There has to be something."

"Well, I always wanted a family of my own," I told him without thinking. "I wanted to give a child the love that my mother never gave me."

"I wanna give you that and more, baby." He reached under the pillow, removed a little blue velvet box and opened it, exposing the biggest diamond ring I had ever seen. "Parade, will you marry me?" he asked.

I stared at it for a minute. I couldn't answer him right away. Nothing about that moment seemed real to
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