Black Wolf (35 page)

"You did."

"I didn't want
to. I wanted her to really be all brave and independent and
revolutionary. But she isn't, she's just... broken, somehow. And I
think she's broken Karl too and she got awfully close with you and
now I don't know what to do and I'm so scared."

"I couldn't
let her hurt you. When she attacked you..." He trailed off. "I
don't know. I don't think I'm thinking very clearly, everything
feels very slow and sort of foggy. I think I got awfully cold. Most
people will help you, anyway."

"I'm not
leaving you. We'll find someone, until we're both okay again.
Together. Somehow."

Bane tapped on
the door-frame and handed Deanna a plate with a considerable stack
of peanut-butter sandwiches, a couple of bananas, and a large
bottle of water with condensation on the outside. "Here, before he
dies in Flynn's bed. Kettle's on, I'll bring you hot chocolate in a
minute."

Deanna and
Kevin slept snuggled together, finding comfort in not being alone.
For tonight, just for tonight, they were safe. Tomorrow, maybe
things would seem less dark.

* * *

"Where now?"
Kevin wondered. It was morning; Bane's promise of protection had
expired. He gave Deanna a crooked smile. "I'm not much use. On top
of suddenly not knowing who I am anymore, that temperature drop
last night was pretty bad. Makes it hard to think."

"So I'll do
the thinking for both of us, and you'll have to live with the
consequences."

"Sounds
fair."

"What's
Rebecca actually likely to do? I really don't think she's going to
just lie down and let us go easily. Or, actually, I don't think
she's likely to let you go easily. I doubt I really matter much. I
bet if I'd just abandoned you and walked away, she wouldn't have
cared at all. The problem is, we could find ways to keep me safe
from her, but you're the one she's going to come after and that's a
problem." She pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her
arms around them. "Face it, Kev, in the last four months you've
managed to give yourself a reputation from hell, and no one's going
to buy it if we try to blame it all on Rebecca. She was
manipulating you something awful, but she was building on what was
already there. Just... twisting it." She sighed. "We all fell for
it, not just you, you were just the one she put the most effort
into. Will Tomas help you?"

"I rather
highly doubt it. He's mad enough at me that he's not likely to
disrupt Dmitri's training to bail me out."

Bane didn't
bother to knock, simply pushed the door open.

"Kevin. I want
to talk to you. Alone."

Apprehensively, Kevin got up from the edge of the bed, and followed
Bane downstairs to the vacant living room. Where were Flynn and
Cynthia and Isleen? Bane settled himself on the couch; Kevin chose
the floor, conscious of how sensitive wolves were to non-verbal
communication and unwilling to take any chances on
antagonizing.

"What are you
planning on doing now?"

"Dia was
trying to figure that out when you came in. Rebecca's not really
going to care what she does. Just what I do. And I have no
idea."

"Do you really
think you can stand up to Rebecca alone?"

Wearily, Kevin
shrugged. "No. Doesn't look like there are any other options. I've
managed to alienate pretty much everyone in Haven really quickly,
no one will help me. She won't kill me if she's calmer. She was
just madder than I've ever seen her, last night."

"Half a dozen
senior alphas are talking to her this morning and warning her that
she's going too far, and that she's about to have most of the
wolves in Haven come down on her for it. Non-interference has
limits."

"Well, that
might slow her down for a while."

"How long are
you seriously likely to stay away from her?"

"I don't know.
She's very good at saying things in ways that are extremely
convincing and by this point, she knows an awful lot of my buttons
that she can push to get reactions. And what am I going to do
anyway? Wander around Haven with no coven until a predator notices
the completely unprotected elvenmage and decides that it's worth
the risk? There's no wolf in Haven other than her and Karl that's
going to want me around. At least Dia will be safe."

"Deanna's
loyalty to you is common knowledge—it's protected you from more
consequences of your actions than you think. Do you really think
she'll stand back and let you go back to Rebecca?"

"I don't know,
probably not. I don't know, I don't have answers for any of this.
What do you want, anyway? You helped us, the rest is our
problem."

"What I want,"
Bane said calmly, "is to know just what's left of you that's really
you, and if there's enough of who you were before September to be
worth trying to save. Frankly, I'm not sure either way, but don't
ask my coven-mates that question, you won't like the answer."

Kevin stared
at him. "Why would you care?"

"I have my
reasons. What's left of you, Kevin Lioren?"

That
conversation lasted a very long time. Despite his brusqueness, Bane
wasn't entirely unsympathetic, which made it easier to talk.

Words wound
down into silence. Kevin waited, empty inside of all feeling,
completely numb.

Bane slid off
the couch to kneel in front of him, and cupped a hand under Kevin's
chin to raise his head so he could meet him eye to eye.

"You've
managed to dig yourself into one hell of a hole, mage," the wolf
said gently. "And despite my better judgement, I don't have the
heart to leave you in it. If you promise me, no more bullying,
you'll try to get yourself all untangled, then I'll do all I can to
help you."

Caught
completely off-stride, Kevin whispered, "I promise."

"Up until now
has been the easy part," Bane said. "Now comes the hard part."

* * *

Oh, so
true, Bane,
Kevin thought. The hard part.
And it's never
ended, in some ways. I'm such a hypocrite. I came down hard on
Jess, but I'm the most like him. If Coven Sundark ever broke, would
I go back to Becky? I'm not sure I'd have a choice. And I'm
certainly in no position to say anything about irrational
behaviour. I set new records. Gods, why they put up with me then
I'll never know, I don't think they do either.
He got up,
wandering restlessly. It had taken so long to persuade Flynn and
Cynthia to even be around him without Bane or Deanna or Lori
present, though he'd been careful every instant not to do anything
that could be threatening, and he'd failed spectacularly at that
last a time or two. It had taken even longer to learn to think for
himself again, and learn what was him and what was Rebecca's
manipulation. He'd tried so desperately to reassure everyone that
he wasn't what they thought he was and prove himself worth the
faith Deanna and Bane and Lori placed in him. He and Deanna had
healed, and Coven Sundark was born of the bonds woven in the
doing.

Jess had been
dragged, all-unknowing, into their war; he'd survived and in doing
so made himself another target for Rebecca's revenge. The one
person who should best know, had walked neatly into Rebecca's trap
and closed it for her.

Gods, Jess,
I'm so sorry, please please come home. Anyone can change, and I
really believe you have, I was such an idiot... You're my brother,
you're the little brother Mom never gave me, and you need a brother
so bad...

A brother you
can count on, anyway.

Wearily, Kevin
turned away, and went back to his own room.

29

Sam settled
herself comfortably on her bed, and propped a silver-framed mirror
against the headboard facing her. For a moment she gazed into it,
then closed her eyes, concentrated on slowing her breathing and
centring herself.

Once she felt
ready, she opened her eyes and focused on the mirror again.

"Show me Jess
leaving Haven," she murmured to it.

The mirror
clouded; she kept her eyes on it without looking away, and
gradually the mistiness cleared to show her Jess walking along the
road south. She watched, her heart aching, as every step took him
further away.

The image grew
increasingly hazy as he neared the edge of the township, and
finally blurred to such a degree that nothing could be seen.

She'd been
afraid of that. To find even a wolf willing to be found, outside
the borders of the township, would be some trick; to find an
unwilling one would take a minor miracle.

That was no
reason to give up. She'd never forgiven herself for losing him
once; she couldn't let it happen again while there was still
anything she could possibly do.

She reached
out to lay the fingertips of both hands against the ornate frame of
the mirror, and whispered a name.

The mist
shimmered in a rainbow of hues, then cleared to show her the image
of a moon-white tiger with stripes of midnight shadows. It looked
at her, yawned, and stretched.

"Help me," she
said quietly.

*If I can,*
the tiger said, words forming in her mind with the clear silver
purity of windchimes. *What seek you, human sister?*

"Jesse. I need
to know where he is, what kind of danger he's in, what I can do
about it..."

*Peace, be
slower. The young one is difficult for me to find, as well. This,
though, I will tell you: there are those on my plane who grow ever
more certain that he is of Cassandra's line, and there are those
who seek ways to simply kill him so that the question becomes
irrelevant. Those ones begin to involve those who summon them.*

Sam shivered.
"Then he's in serious danger."

*He is.* The
tiger washed one forepaw meditatively, and resumed with a
thoughtful note in its voice. *And yet he is not. Demon-luck is
powerful indeed, and his will to live is very strong. To kill him
would not be at all an easy thing to do.*

"There has to
be something we can do!"

*There is.
Wait. This much I know: this tale has not yet ended, too much
remains unresolved, and the universe dislikes unfinished
business.*

"Waiting won't
help him!" She heard her voice beginning to climb in volume,
lowered it again.

*The greatest
danger to the young one is danger only he can fight, and that only
when he is ready. Let the game play itself out. The time will come
when you must act, but for the present, there is nothing you can
do. Could I find him for you, I would tell you where he is, but
what then? He would not hear anything you say. Be glad I cannot. If
I could, then others could as well.*

Sam shook her
head stubbornly. "I can't accept that. I can't just sit back and
hope Jesse decides to come home someday before the less pleasant
residents of your plane kill him. There has to be something I can
do."

*As you will.
Call him by his true name for all the world to hear. Tell your
friends and his the full truth. Then your wait will be over.*

"I can't do
that either, and you know it."

*Of course you
can. You must simply be prepared to accept the consequences.*

"If you aren't
willing to help me, then I'll ask others until I find someone who
will."

The tiger
laughed, not ungently. *You will not find any who is more your
friend than I. You will get less help from some, and misdirection
from others.*

"I have to
try! Maybe someone can at least give me something to go on.
Anything is better than doing nothing."

The tiger's
form blurred, shimmered fluidly into that of a white falcon with
midnight markings. *You are well matched with your soul-bird, human
sister. I wish you all good luck in your quest.* The image broke
like a rock had been dropped in a mirror of water, and cleared to
show only rainbow mist.

Alfari pushed
the door open, and jumped up on the bed. She sniffed at the mirror,
then curled herself into Sam's lap, purring softly, watching the
mirror intently.

Sam stroked
the cat with one hand while she called upon other demon allies, and
some less friendly ones she knew only by name. Some of them she
thought were as restrained in their mockery as they were only
because of Alfari's presence and obvious loyalty; if nothing else,
the moral support was worth a great deal, while demon after demon
scorned her search or told her brusquely that no demon could or
would help her.

Finally,
exhausted, she gave up and leaned forward to turn the mirror face
down on the bed, then picked it up again. Connection broken; it
merely reflected her and Alfari. She got up, draped Alfari over one
shoulder, and went out to the living room.

Bryan gave her
a weary smile. "Any luck?"

"With
what?"

"Looking for
Jess. Don't tell me you aren't, I won't believe you."

"I didn't find
out much of anything that's any use."

"You and
everyone else. Maybe he'll change his mind and come back."