Blackness Within (13 page)

“You doin’ okay?” I ask as I plop into a chair.

“Yeah. Thanks for that, Sully. It’s taken me a decade to convince him to get clean. I don’t have words for how relieved I am. I know it may not work and he’ll struggle with addiction for the rest of his life. But I can see how much he wants this.”

“I’m glad I could help out. Why don’t you let me feed Junior and you can go pack?”

“’Kay,” she breathes out sadly.

“It’s temporary, Natasha. I just need to keep you safe for a few days until I get details,” I attempt to convince her.

“I really appreciate this. I…never mind,” she stops herself then hands me the baby and his bottle.

“Finish what you were gonna say,” I urge her.

“This hits a little close to home for me. I’ve had a lot of late night pack and moves. I thought I’d gotten away from this life. Blake’s always kept it away from me. I feel safe and secure in this house. I don’t wanna lose that.”

“I’m sorry,” I say sincerely.

I pop the bottle in Junior’s mouth and he goes to town.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for bein’ such a pain in the ass.”

“You’re doin’ the best you can in a fucked up situation. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll be ready in about twenty minutes. At least I have awesome packing skills to fall back on,” she jokes weakly.

I grab her wrist as she moves away, offering her a squeeze of comfort before releasing her. She gifts me a small smile in return as she leaves. I continue feeding the baby while I listen for anything unusual around the house. I need them out of this fucking place that means so much to Natasha. She may feel safe here, but I feel like a sitting duck. If I’m going to keep my promise to Blake, it’s going to be done my way. I don’t think Natasha’s going to like my way.

Natasha

“This is not a house,” I say to myself as I pull into a gated driveway behind Sully’s car.

His house is a mansion. I don’t know if that’s the right word to describe it, but it’s all I can come up with. I can’t appreciate it fully in the dark, but I can tell it’s a sight to behold.

There’s a soft knock at my window causing me to jump and squeal. Sully pulls my door open swiftly apologizing in a whisper as he does. I wave him off and climb out of the car. I move to get the baby out of the back, but he beats me to it. He pulls all of the bags out of the trunk too and shakes his head at me when I try to help him. Zeus leaps from the passenger seat when I open it and quickly marks his territory.

Sully indicates with his chin for me to go ahead of him and I comply. I walk through a giant garage into a mudroom the size of my living room. I pull off my boots and wait for Sully to toe his off. I try to take the car seat and receive a glare from Sully. I put my hands up in the universal defensive pose and wait for him to lead the way.

I follow him into the biggest kitchen I’ve ever seen, Zeus’s nails ticking across the hardwood floors. There’s soft light casting a glow on the white marble from beneath the deep ebony-colored wood cabinets. It’s breathtaking. Moving from the kitchen, we enter a great room that fully encompasses the term. Massive furniture fills the space, the centerpiece a horseshoe sectional that can probably hold forty people. I can’t see much else because the house is dark save for a few night-lights illuminating our path.

Sully begins to climb stairs at the end of the room and I follow closely behind him. I lose track of how many doors we pass and turns we take. I’ll never find my way around this place in the morning. He stops at a door at the end of a hallway. Behind it is a quaint sitting area with a couch, two leather chairs and a TV mounted on the wall.

Sully waits for me and Zeus to enter the space and then shuts the door behind me.

“This is my wing,” he informs me.

I nod. I don’t know what else to say or do.

He moves away from me again and I trail him. He goes into a room that looks like a guest room. A queen-sized bed, bedside tables, two dressers, a desk and chair fill the area, yet there’s still an abundance of space. Sully flips on a lamp in the corner of the room, allowing me a better look. The furniture goes together but doesn’t match exactly. It’s comforting with pale yellow walls, grey and cream bedding and pops of accent colors throughout. No way he did this on his own.

“Kid and my mom did this,” Sully answers my unasked question.

“It’s lovely,” I compliment.

“There’s a bathroom through there,” he says, nodding at a door to the left. “Should have everything you need. I had Kid get the guys to set up a bassinet in the other room. I can bring it in here if you’d feel more comfortable.”

“If you don’t mind.”

“No problem.”

A few moments later her carries in a rich cherry bassinet. He sets it up at the bedside before pulling Junior out of the car seat and settling him in gently. Once Sully’s content with the baby’s position, he quietly backs away, towing me with him. He pulls the door to the bedroom almost closed before turning to face me.

“There’s a kitchenette back here with a small fridge and a microwave,” he says, directing me toward the far wall of the sitting area. It’s compact, but efficient for the needs of a single man with a bar sink, a few cabinets and a bit of counter space.

Zeus settles himself on the couch behind us and starts snoring lightly within seconds. I take that as a good sign. He’s comfortable…we’re safe here.

“My room’s here.”

He leads me into it and flips on the overhead light. It’s gigantic. I’ve never seen a bed that big before. Overall, it’s a little messy, but not bad for a single man. Clothes are on the floor and the chair in the corner of the room. His navy bedding is rumpled and unmade. Other than that, the space is clean and free from clutter. Pictures of family and friends line the walls all in black and white. It’s masculine, just what I imagined his room would look like…smell like too. His scent fills the air, saturating my lungs. I wish I didn’t love that as much as I do.

“I better get some sleep,” I mutter, moving away from him. “Thanks again.”

“Good night, Natasha,” he says sweetly, a kind smile kissing his lips.

“Night,” I reply with a small wave not knowing what else to do.

I close the door and crawl under the covers fully clothed. I’m too exhausted to get undressed. I breathe deeply, allowing Sully’s heavenly fragrance to offer me a small amount of comfort before succumbing to sleep. I’ll feel better, stronger when I wake up. I have to.

Cradling Junior against my chest, I finally get the courage to leave the small sitting area. I’ve been up with the baby for a few hours and steadily dragging my heels feeding him, bathing him, dressing him, showering and then getting myself dressed. I can’t sit in here anymore. When Junior woke me up for his breakfast feeding, Sully’s door was open and his bed empty. I knew he wasn’t here because Zeus was missing.

Sully’s presence is equally suffocating and soothing so I was relieved for the break from him. I can’t avoid him any longer this morning. I need to start figuring out what to do next. There’s no way I can wait for Blake to detox to form a plan. I have a shift next week. A life to get back to. A baby I have to…I don’t know what to do with. It’s time to make decisions.

I walk out of the room into the hallway and try to remember how to get to the main living area of the house. The space feels grand, almost palace-like. Until I look at the frames lining the walls. There are finger paintings, goofy family photos and candid group shots where regal collector’s art would be in a palace. This may be a gigantic fortress, but it’s a home. Lived in and comfortable.

I take a couple wrong turns—on purpose—before finding myself at the top of the stairs leading to the great room. In the daylight the massive space looks even bigger if that’s possible. The fact that it’s completely devoid of people adds to the effect, coupled with the two story ceilings.

Sully’s in the kitchen with his shirt off, sweat glistening on every surface of his rippled frame. I stand motionless and take in the sight of him. He’s intoxicating. That’s the only way to describe him. I feel high in his presence, foggy yet happy. I don’t trust myself with him. If this were any of the times at the hospital, I could keep my wits about me and fend off his advances. Here with a stolen baby, my brother in a world full of shit and some really scary people looking for me, I don’t have the strength necessary to battle the force of his sex-filled smiles and half-naked, sweaty “I just worked out and could still fuck you for days” hotness.

“See somethin’ you like?” his deep baritone startles me.

“You have a beautiful home, Sully,” I say kindly, avoiding his insinuation.

“I noticed you were admiring my
hardwood
.”

I start to compliment his floors when I get his joke. My brow furrows and I scowl at him. It’s easy to shut off my attraction when he says shit like that.

“Your hardwood appears to be a little dull. Is that from overuse?” I snark as I descend the stairs.

“If you’re offering to wax my wood, I won’t say no,” he purrs as I stop in front of him.

I shoot him the same smile I’ve been giving him for two and a half years. No chance. His cocky smirk crests his lips before he yanks me against his damp chest.

I try to hold my breath because I know his scent mixed with his cologne will be a pheromone nightmare for me. I fail. He holds me too long and I end up sucking in a lungful of the most glorious fragrance. He’s woodsy, musky, manly without being stinky and something that’s just Sully. My knees go weak and I have to push myself away.

Sully clears his throat and asks, “You hungry?”

“I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.”

“Coffee?”

“That would be great.”

I move over to the enormous breakfast bar and tell myself to not look at his tattooed shoulders. The full expanse of the space is covered in his last name with a strange clover knot thing dotting the
i
. Shannon has a similar tattoo on her ribs. It must be a family tattoo. And I’m staring at him when I just told myself not to.

He catches me staring and beams a Cheshire grin while setting down a steaming cup of coffee.

“Tell me about the knot thing,” I say over the rim of the mug. Nicely played if I do say so myself.

“Kid was attacked the first day we met. That’s when the guys and I claimed her as ours, pretty much forced her to move in with us.”

There’s a sadness in his eyes as he recalls their history. The idea that Shannon was ever attacked is shocking. I don’t know the specifics, but I know she was trained by her uncle for a long time. He made her into a super soldier of sorts. That’s what the tabloids have said anyway.

“After Kid’s attack, she was in a bad place. A blackness took her over and it took a lot of work to bring her back. Six months later she wanted to get a tattoo. Something to symbolize the family we had created. I decided if she was getting it, we all should. So we all have some version of it. I’m sure you know about all of the shit that went down with Kid being kidnapped three years ago.”

I nod. It made national headlines for months and got even crazier after that wacked out governor came to my hospital and tried to steal Johnny.

“Well, when Kid was recovering in the hospital everyone in our families got the tattoo. So now, we all have it. It’s the thread that draws us together, but for me it’s a reminder of the piece of Kid I always carry with me. She’s the best piece of me,” he finishes softly.

“That’s really sweet, Sully. Your families have really taken her in as their own.”

“We may not share the same blood, but Kid’s ours. No question about it. She met us and ended up with nine brothers, three dads and two moms. It’s crazy and hard to explain. We just clicked. She was so fuckin’ gorgeous—still is. And for some reason my eighteen-year-old brain didn’t want to sleep with her. Kav and Cal were the same. We wanted to protect her, keep her safe. Not much has changed since then.”

“I’m glad she has you guys. It’s hard to be in the world on your own,” I mutter.

“You know somethin’ about that?”

He walks around the bar and settles himself on the stool next to mine. Sully reaches over and takes Junior from me, cuddling him to his chest. I kind of want the baby back to use as a shield. I scan the room and find Zeus asleep on the floor in front of the roaring fireplace. I could go settle in with him and feel safe. If I’m going to tell Sully about my life, I can’t feel vulnerable.