Blame It on the Mistletoe (17 page)

But he would let her, she knew that. Ryan would do anything for her.

It felt good for Alex to finally check out of that damn hotel room he’d been in for over two weeks. He’d talked Mr. Bowman down to an extended stay price, but still, spending a grand for a hotel room wasn’t really what he’d had in mind when he first flew down. Then again, a lot of things about this trip had not been what he’d had in mind. Brooke Abbott being at the top of that list.

Just the thought of her as he loaded his luggage into his car made him grin. They’d said their good-byes already, but he had a few hours until his flight and he wanted to see her once more before he left. Last night he’d lain in bed imagining all the things he wanted to say to her, all the plans that flashed through his brain coming into focus to form one monumental thought: He was in love with her. Stupid in love with her, and he wasn’t afraid of it, which was a miracle in and of itself. Alex had never really loved anyone before Brooke, and yet the minute the idea popped into his head he knew it was true.

She was beautiful, yes; she always had been, but it was more than that. She made him happy, really happy. The kind of feelings he didn’t know were possible. A happiness that made it possible to say no to a million dollars, because that’s what he intended to do. He owned the building that the woman he loved used to make her dreams come true—there was nothing more perfect than that.

He hated that he had to leave right before Christmas, which was a little over a week away, but Alex had promised his friend and boss, Miller, that he’d be there to cover a group so the guy could have some time off with his family. It was a commitment Alex wouldn’t think of backing out on, so he had to go back to Oregon. But the company closed from Christmas Eve until New Year’s, so he’d be back, and he couldn’t wait to spend that time with Brooke. He was glad that he would have some time alone to process these new feelings, and hopefully when he came back he’d be ready to tell her.

He walked down Main Street, past the bakery and hair salon, toward 100 Main. It was still unbelievable that this magnificent structure, with all its quirks, belonged to him. It was old as hell, and really didn’t hold many good memories for him, but now with Brooke inside things were different. He stepped across the street, dodging the “Road Closed” sign, and onto the sidewalk. He loved the way she’d decorated it to look like a gingerbread house. He entered the shop, the bell signaling his arrival, and he was instantly enveloped by the scents of Christmas on steroids.

Walking inside, he couldn’t help the huge smile that covered his face when they met eyes. Damn, he was just so happy to see her. And then he really looked at her. Her normally bright green eyes were puffy and dull, rimmed with red. She looked down quickly, her mouth going into a straight line, and just like that he knew the worst thing had happened. She knew. She had to know.

“Brooke.” He rushed over to the counter. “Look at me, Brooke.” He quickly realized they weren’t alone, and he could see a few customers shopping out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t care if he was making a scene. She wouldn’t look at him so he lowered his voice. “Talk to me, damn it.”

“Don’t you dare cuss at me.” Her voice was only a whisper, but full of venom. “Not in my shop, not anywhere.”

“I’m sorry. I … please.” He would beg if he needed to. “Please come outside and talk to me.”

“No, I have nothing to say to you. In fact, it appears I will be very busy the next few weeks packing everything in here up. So you should probably go.”

He was in shock, never would he have guessed that Brooke could be so mad. He deserved her anger, and a lot more. He felt guilty as hell.

“Brooke let me explain, will you?” She headed for the back, and he didn’t miss the way she swiped at her eyes. He followed, the two ladies eyeing them warily as they passed. Alex gave them a tight smile and nod. “Brooke, stop,” he hissed.

When she passed the curtain he grabbed her arm and swung her around. “Stop running from me and listen.”

“No. I won’t stop running and I most certainly will not listen.” She yanked her arm free of him and pointed her finger at his chest. “You lied to me.”

“I never lied.” He knew he was grasping.

“It was a lie by omission, you asshole, but it is still a lie. You let me go on and on about how much I love my store, and love old things, and love this building. What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell is wrong with me?” She threw her hands up in the air and let them land on her head. “I knew all along you weren’t good for me. You’re Alex Coleman, you have sex with lots of girls, you break hearts, you cause trouble, you leave. And apparently you lie.” He was completely dumbfounded, unable to speak, or even believe what was happening. Just a few moments ago he’d been so happy, ready to kiss her good-bye. Now she stared at the floor, a tear rolling down each cheek, and her voice cracked as she went on.

“You lied to
me
. I thought … I don’t know what I thought. But this felt right, which meant … I trusted what I wanted, I trusted myself. I thought I’d finally known what I was doing when it came to a man. Damn it, Alex, I trusted
you
!”

“And you
can
trust me, Brooke. Please. Let me explain.” He felt like shit, her words were killing him, and he hated the way she wouldn’t look at him.

“Brooke, are you back here?” Ryan’s voice came from the hall and then he was bursting through the curtain, fully uniformed and itching to read someone their Miranda rights. “What the hell are you doing here, Coleman?”

“I’m talking to Brooke. Can you give us a minute?” Alex wasn’t going to let Ryan fuck this up for him.

“Don’t leave, Ryan. I want him to go,” Brooke said, her words full of panic and desperation, wounding him more than she’d ever know.

“Brooke, don’t do this.” He wanted to be the guy who saved her from the world. “Why the hell did you call your brother?”

She turned hard, her eyes wide, finally staring him down, but full of so much pain. “I called him because he’s the only man that I can trust in the whole world. When I need protection from selfish guys, he’s there for me. He wants me to be happy, and safe, and, fortunately for me, not lied to.”

“Alex, you need to go,” Ryan said, and there was almost a hint of pity in his voice.

“We’re not done here, Brooke. You’re mad at me, I get it. I deserve it. I fucked up. But we are going to talk. This isn’t over.”

“It’s absolutely one hundred percent over.”

Could he blame her? She was right, he’d had a million opportunities to tell her the truth. Shit, he’d even wanted to. He’d needed someone to talk about it all with. But he hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And yet, that was exactly what he’d done. No fucking surprise. He’d never had a real relationship, it only made sense that when he finally tried to make a go of it that he would mess it all up.

**

Brooke was operating in survival mode by that Thursday. She didn’t know what to do about her shop, what to plan for, what to think, where to live. In a matter of one day everything she thought she was doing had been scattered to hell. Her store, her classes, and her jewelry … that had been the plan. The only one, there was no plan B, no backup. No exit strategy. Her only goal was to fake it until she made it, to work her ass off until she was a success.

Now … she had no idea. She was lost, and that was an incredibly scary place to be. Under normal circumstances she might have been able to strategize, but she was also dealing with a broken heart. She’d been such an idiot to believe for just one second that there was something special going on between her and Alex Coleman, it was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. Which was saying something considering her past with men. But she’d known exactly who he was right from the start; she’d watched his history play out before her eyes, watched him sleep around, get arrested for being an idiot. But she’d convinced herself he was just young then, that he’d changed. She was wrong.

Alex had left her three messages. She’d listened to the first one, begging her to pick up the phone, to listen to what he had to say. But she couldn’t. He’d be stupid if he didn’t take the money. She couldn’t understand why he hadn’t just told her. She wasn’t an idiot, she would have been able to understand his situation if he’d just given her the chance to do so. But obviously he hadn’t trusted her, and because of that, now she didn’t trust him. How could she?

And with only six shopping days until Christmas she was starting to get nervous. She hadn’t yet asked Ryan if she could move in with him, although she knew he wouldn’t turn her away. But her checking account was barely in the black since everything she was making was spent as fast as it came in. The cost to maintain a retail space was unbelievable. Rent, utilities, loan payments, insurance, and that didn’t include the product for her projects. She’d been so sure that she’d finally turned the corner and was going to start getting somewhere soon. She’d felt it in her gut, the future had looked bright and happy. Now it was all uncertainty and darkness. And so lonely.

The door opened, a frigid breeze trickled over her, and she shivered. Her shoulders dropped when Ryan entered. What was she hoping for? She knew Alex was halfway across the country, so he wasn’t coming back. She’d been very clear that she was not willing to listen or talk to him.

Ryan had been in every day to check on her, and while she loved and appreciated him for that, it only served to make her more depressed. Knowing that at twenty-eight she still needed her big brother. What a joke she was.

“Hey,” he said handing her a bottle of grape soda. “How you doing today?”

“Thank you. And I’m okay.” She took a sip of her drink, not nearly as delicious as it could have been if she wasn’t dying inside.

“You don’t look okay.”

She glared at him. “Just what a lady wants to hear from a man.” Her voice was short, and she knew she sounded like a bitch.

“I’m not a man, I’m your brother.” He sounded annoyed, and she raised an eyebrow at his choice of words. He sighed. “You know what I mean.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I’m just not in a good place.”

“Have you talked to him?’

“Hell no.”

“Why don’t you just hear the guy out, Brooke? He’s called the station twice asking to talk to me.”

She was shocked to hear this. “Did you talk to him?”

“The last time, and only to tell him he was wasting his time calling me. I don’t know what to say. Do you want him to come back? I mean, what the hell was going on between you two? Obviously something more than just—shit, I don’t wanna think about it. But the guy is obviously feeling something for you. He sounds like a dog that needs to be put down.”

“By all means.”

When Ryan sighed, she went on. “Then why didn’t he tell me about owning the building? Or the million-dollar offer. He kept it from me, Ryan, something big. Which normally wouldn’t be a big deal because it had only been a couple weeks, but I run a business in said building. I think I deserved to know.”

“You did deserve to know, and I’m not saying he’s not an asshole. But shit, Brooke, guys can be assholes at times. It’s usually because we make stupid choices. Even the good ones. It’s just an unfortunate fact of life.”

She stared at him. “Are you saying Alex Coleman is a good one?” she asked sarcastically. “The same guy you tried to strong arm into staying away from me?”

Ryan lowered his head in shame and looped his thumbs in his utility belt, unable to get to his pockets easily. He looked so tough in that damn uniform. “I don’t know, Coleman was never a
bad
guy. He was a little dysfunctional, he had a shitty childhood. I mean, yeah, he caused trouble, slept around … but …”

“Yeah I know, so did you, no need to say it. Now you’re an upstanding citizen, enforcing the law instead of breaking it.”

“My point is, maybe he’s grown up. I mean he was an Army Ranger, I’m sure that required an extensive background check among other things, so we know he wasn’t involved in criminal activity. Well, illegally anyway—it is the Rangers. And he works in Alaska for half the year. I can’t imagine he’s doing much womanizing up there.”

“You never know.”

“Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I really can’t believe this change of heart, Ry.”

“Yeah, me neither, but I want you to be happy. Every time I saw you the past couple of weeks, you were smiling. Other people noticed too. Even Mom.”

She grabbed a tissue and blotted at her eyes. “I
was
happy,” she whispered. “But the whole time he was keeping something from me.”

“Yeah, you’re right, and that sucks. But people mess up. Maybe you should hear him out. That’s all I’m saying.”

She shrugged, and when he turned to go she ran toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning gently against his padded chest but careful to avoid any weaponry. “Thank you, Ryan. You’ve always been way too good to me.”

He pulled her head against him and she felt him kiss her temple. “There’s no reason to thank me for that, it’s my job.”

She continued to hold on. “Ryan, I may have to move in with you.”

She felt him tense a little and blow out a breath. “I figured as much. … You’re doing my laundry.”

She jerked back. “Whatever.”

He chuckled and headed for the door. “My place, my rules.”

“Okay, well, if I do laundry I get to make one rule of my own … no girls staying the night.”

He smiled as he walked outside. “Now that’s just crazy talk.” With a wink he let the heavy door shut, and she watched as he got into his patrol car and drove away.

**

Alex stared at the stack of paperwork in his hands. Despite the fact that he’d insisted he wasn’t going to sell, Ted had sent him the latest offer anyway, not wanting to concede—1.9 million dollars. Alex stared at the number for twenty minutes trying to decide if he was crazy or stupid for not accepting it. The one thing he was certain of was how damn much he ached for Brooke.

He’d called her excessively, even called Ryan, but nothing. What else could he do? She wouldn’t listen to him, not for a minute, and he had to respect that. But he sure as hell didn’t want to.