Blaze (14 page)

Blaze glanced at each of them, overwhelmed with gratitude and affection. The Green Sash Faction had always been close. They had supported each other through battles and in their personal lives.

There was no other place he would rather serve. Still, he could not risk leading them if he was no longer qualified.

"Thank you," Blaze said. "I'm not sure if your trust has been misplaced, but I will find out. I will never do anything to harm this faction. That I swear. I'm placing Crag temporarily in charge.

Mahir and Torn already know of my decision."

"Yes, Sir," the Knights stated in union.

With a final glance at them, Blaze left the herbarium and went to find Melody.

* * *

After Blaze left her that morning, Melody slept for a couple of hours. She'd awakened a short time ago and walked to the stream behind the fortress to bathe. All the while, her thoughts focused on Blaze. Though he seemed well enough after his ordeal, she knew the spirits' sudden disappearance affected him deeply. When she finished with her bath, Melody returned to Blaze's room and changed into a fresh tunic. She headed for the kitchen with the hope of appeasing her grumbling

stomach.

"Melody."

She turned to Blaze who was descending the steps.

"Good afternoon." She smiled and met him at the bottom of the staircase. "I was going to find something to eat."

"Sounds good. Maybe we could take it to my room." Gazing into her eyes, he cupped her face in his hand.

Melody's belly tightened at his expression. During their separation, she had longed to make love with him. When she received his letter, she had been so concerned for his welfare that she had completely forgotten about the drives of her body. Now, when he gazed at her with such desire in his beautiful blue eyes, it returned in a rush.

"I'd like that." She curled her fingers around his wrists and guided his arms around her. "I've missed you so much, Blaze."

"I've missed you, too," he whispered close to her ear. "Being around you makes me ravenous, but not for food."

"You look like you can use a good meal."

Taking her hand, he began walking with her to the kitchen. "Lets see if we can get in the cooks' way."

"I'm sure. You know cooking isn't among my greatest talents."

"You have others that more than compensate."

Melody studied his face. His pleasant disposition had apparently returned and it lured her as it had on the day they had met. Still, something about him wasn't quite right. Once they were alone, they

could talk more.

In the kitchen, several of the Knights' wives and daughters were employed as cooks. No sooner had Blaze started searching through the pantry than a plump woman with graying reddish hair approached.

"It's about time you started raiding this kitchen again, Blaze. I've been worried about you lately.

Hardly eating. Scarcely coming to visit me anymore." The woman turned to Melody. "You better be prepared to fight your way into the pantry once you marry him, Dame Melody."

"I already know about his healthy appetite." Melody glanced at Blaze and almost blushed at the lusty look he tossed her before wiggling his eyebrows. She took the loaf of freshly baked bread the redhead handed her.

"Don't be moving things around in my pantry!" The woman slapped Blaze's hand away from the shelves. "Ever since you were as tall as my knee you've been putting things out of order in here.

Pretend it's a herbarium, Blaze, and leave it as neat as you found it."

"Forgive me, Lenora." Blaze took her hand and playfully kissed the back of it.

Giggling, Lenora snatched it away. "He always gets everything he wants with sweetness."

"She only says that because she's looked after me like a mother since the day I arrived here.

Because of her, I never missed not knowing my own."

Lenora grinned. "You know what makes him so hard to resist?"

"I can list a number of things," Melody replied.

"He's as sincere as he is charming."

Melody smiled. This amusing woman certainly seemed to know Blaze well. Funnier still, the women’s compliments actually had him blushing a bit.

"You've gotten yourself a good one, Dame Melody. And that's something I can't even say about all of my own sons, the Spirit help me."

"Lenora, in this case I've gotten the good one." Blaze's smile faded as he held Melody's gaze.

Again she sensed restlessness within him. Of course he would be upset after everything that had happened. All he needed was some time.

After filling a bowl with fresh berries and a portion of cheese, Blaze took Melody's hand and they walked back to his room.

Inside, Melody opened the curtains. Sunlight filled the room. A warm breeze caressed her face as she gazed out at the fields.

"Mahir suggested that I take some time away from my duties."

She turned to him, watching as he arranged the food on the table. "I think that's a good idea, Blaze."

"I'm considering turning over leadership of my faction to someone else."

"Why?"

"Because of what I did and how my life has changed. I made choices with the spirits in mind. Now that they're no longer with me, I have to wonder about my decisions."

"Blaze, everyone's life changes. Nothing ever stays the same."

"I know that, but some things alter our perception of everyone and everything."

Melody's stomach lurched. Was he trying to tell her that his feelings for her had changed and he no longer wanted to marry her?

"I know I'm being completely selfish right now. So absorbed in my own problems." His brow furrowed and he began pacing the room like a caged animal.

"It's not a crime to be selfish once in a while."

"Of late it's the least of my crimes."

"You haven't committed any crimes."

"I took up a weapon and I used it to claim lives."

"But that's what happens to soldiers in battle. Do you think I've never killed and that I don't feel guilty about the lives taken by my sword? I can't let that rule my life and stop me from using my skills to serve others. I am a Dame of the Opal Order and you are a Knight. Neither of us have made or broken our vows lightly. We broke one just by making love before the marriage."

"That's different."

"Why?"

"Because that vow is more of a formality from the old days. It's a good custom, but it's not the same as picking up a weapon to kill when you have sworn not to."

"I know how seriously the Green Sash Faction takes bloodshed and killing, but—"

"Damn it, Melody," he bellowed, rage flashing in his eyes. His fists clenched as he drew a deep breath and released it slowly. "I think I liked it."

She paused, staring at him. He was confused, his self disgust almost tangible.

"You liked it?"

"I don't know if
like
is the right word, but it was as if I couldn't stop myself. They kept attacking. I was wounded. Torn was wounded. You know how it hurts when you're almost at the end of it.

Your lungs are burning. Your limbs feel like lead. Enemies keep piercing you with blades.

Stinging. Slicing. Stabbing. Then you have this weapon in your hands and you can stop them.

Completely. And you do it. It becomes like an obsession. They come and you kill. I've never done that before. I never would have done it to save my own life."

A chill ran down Melody's spine. She knew exactly how he felt. That was battle. She'd been through it herself, but had never actually described it. She'd waded through the emotions attached

and done what she needed to survive. Blaze had seen more battles than she had, but he had never surrendered to that basic human need to kill someone before they killed you. His control, his value

of all life didn't come from the spirits. It was something within him. Because of his gift, he had never realized the depth of his inner strength.

"I'm afraid I'll do it again," he said.

"There's nothing wrong with defending yourself. It's a harsh world. Sometimes we need to use force to defend those who aren't strong enough to defend themselves, just like you were doing in

the village. What kind of man would you be if you had left Torn to die at the hands of enemies who had no business being there in the first place? It wasn't that you enjoyed killing, Blaze. You simply

acted on your nature as a human. Someone hits you and you hit back."

His brow furrowed. "That's not always right. Sometimes we have show that there are alternatives to violence."

"And sometimes violence is the only thing some people understand."

He joined her at the table and gazed into her eyes. "I can’t believe you're saying this, Melody. You know the spirits."

"I know some spirits are good and others are not, just like living people. I mean, at one time they probably were alive, too. I'm a person, Blaze."

"I know, but—"

"I don't have the courage to live as you do. That's why I carry a sword. It's not because I enjoy killing, but because I'm afraid of dying. That doesn’t make me a bad, just human."

"I understand what you, Mahir, and my faction have been saying to me. What I'm telling you is that I need time to decide what kind of Knight I'm going to be."

Melody took his face in her hands and brushed his mouth with a kiss. "Search if you must, but I already know the answer to your question."

He uttered a wry laugh. "Then please tell me."

Shaking her head, she smiled slightly. "You probably wouldn’t believe me if I did, so find out for yourself."

"That should make me mad." He grinned, using his foot to drag her chair closer to his. "But right now I don't want bad feelings between us. I need you too much, Melody."

"I thought you might have changed your mind about me."

His smile faded and he tugged her onto his lap. "Never. I was concerned that you wouldn't want me, now that the spirits have left me."

"The spirits again." She raised her eyes to heaven. Looping her arms around his neck, she held him tightly. "It was a wonderful thing to meet a man who could truly understand my connection to Tara, but I love you for so many other reasons, Blaze. The spirits might have helped shape your life, but they didn't shape your soul and your heart. Those are yours alone and they are what I love most about you. Now will you please make love with me before we eat?"

He stood so suddenly that she clung to him tighter and giggled. The scent of his hair and the feeling of his rock hard body so close to hers sent thrills of passion through her. He carried her to the bed

and placed her on it.

Covering her mouth with his, he kissed her deeply. His tongue parted her lips and stroked against hers. Melody's eyes slipped shut and she threaded her fingers through his hair. He tasted so good.

When he moved his lips to her neck, his beard teased her tender flesh.

He moved down her body and tugged off her boots. Giggling, she tried to jerk her foot from his grasp as he tickled it, but he refused to let it go.

Laughing, she pushed against his shoulders. "Blaze, stop."

He released her and stood, shedding his clothes. Melody stared at him, her entire body tingling at the sight of his broad shoulders and chiseled muscles. He needed to gain some weight, yet there was something about his wiry, whipcord body that made her libido scream.

Reluctantly, she tore her gaze from him long enough to remove her tunic.

"You are more beautiful than the finest sculpture." He sat beside her, his powerful, hair-dusted thigh pressing intimately against her side. Resting her hand on it, she savored its texture and hardness. She massaged it, shifting her position slightly to grasp his inner thigh.

Placing his hand over hers, he guided it to his growing erection. Melody sighed. Her eyes closed halfway. The feeling of his cock, so silken yet rock hard, sent waves of passion crashing through her. Her nipples tightened and tingled. Her clit throbbed and she knew her pussy must be as wet as it was warm and aching.

"Ah, Melody," he breathed, his hand hovering lightly over hers as she stroked him. "Do you know how many nights I longed for this?"

"So did I. Sometimes I wanted you so much that I had to touch myself and pretend it was you."

His pale eyes fixed on hers. "I did the same thing many times. You have me as hot and ready as a man half my age."

"Most men half your age can't keep up with you anyway."

His hands cupped her breasts and Melody sighed with pleasure. Long, sculpted fingers rolled and caressed her nipples. The plump buds tightened even more, the tips so sensitive that she gasped with delight when he pressed her onto the bed and sucked one hard.

"Yes, Blaze, my love. Oh, yes. I've wanted you so, so much."

His tongue laved her nipple, then he used the very tip to circle it while one of his legs slipped between hers. Gasping, she pressed her clit against his thigh. She felt completely wanton, clinging to him and humping his leg like some half crazed animal. It had been far too long since they had been together.