Blended (Redemption #1) (40 page)

Eight hours have passed and she hasn’t moved a muscle.

Jacobs pulled a seat up to the bed, which allowed me to remain at her side. I’ve had to get up and do a few exercises in the room, but I haven’t left her side other than to shower.

I’ve become uncomfortable with sitting down for all of these hours so I get up and lie down on the other side of the bed and under the covers with her. I pull her body against mine, careful not to snag her IV line as I do. I position her in the way that she used to sleep with me, her head in the crook of my arms, with each part of her body touching mine. She’s dressed in one of my shirts that she used to wear all of the time, the one that I considered hers since she first wore it.

I place a kiss on her temple and breathe her in. “I’ve missed you, Rye. I have no right to miss you because you no longer belong to me, but I couldn’t give a shit. You still carry my heart around with you, whether you are aware of it or not.”

I don’t close my eyes in fear that I will fall asleep. I want to be here and present when she wakes up. I’ve turned off all of the lights in the room with the exception of the one on the nightstand beside her, which is currently set to dim.

I search her features for a sign that she’s there, that she’ll be all right. I move her curls behind her back and frown at the bruises that have slowly but surely been making their appearance on her silky skin. I need to know where else he hurt her, what else he stole that belonged to me.

I place my lips against the large bruise on her jaw before running the pad of my thumb over her mouth.

“I should have left the penthouse sooner. I should have come after you when you left me in Sydney. I should have grown those brass balls and told you about Isla.” I tell her my regrets as I move the covers off of her body to inspect her for myself. I notice more bruises marring the skin on her thigh. I push my shirt up until I’m able to see her hips. There’s a long line that runs across her waist. He must have bruised her there while she kept hitting herself against the sink in front of her. I turn her body slightly to see the bruises, which are shaped in the form of his hands on her hips.

I shut my eyes as I pull the shirt back down her body and settle her into her favorite sleeping position again before I allow myself to breathe. If it were up to me, Lawson Stafford would already be buried six feet below. I move her hair from her face and place my hand at the small of her back to keep her against my body.

“I love you,” I say close to her ear. “I’ll never be able to stop,”

The ache that I’ve managed to keep at bay through my recovery resurfaces and I close my eyes as I’m immersed in the pain—the pain of knowing that she doesn’t want much more to do with me.

I’m jolted awake by a hand on my shoulder. “Wade? The doctor is back to check on her,” Isla says.

I blink through my sleep and release her from my hold before sitting up and getting out from under the covers.

“Are you okay?”

I refuse to answer her because she knows my truths. She knows exactly how ready I was to take on Rye forever before she left me. Isla understands what I’ve been struggling with and how I’ve had to deal with it in order to keep living.

“I’ll let him in. Put a shirt on.”

I nod and walk into my closet to change. When I return to my bedroom, buttoning up my shirt, the doctor is taking her blood pressure.

“Her vitals are back to normal,” he says as he checks his watch, “and it’s been twelve and a half hours. I’m hopeful that she’ll wake while I’m here. I might stay until she does.”

“Very well.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Jacobs walks in. “Excuse my intrusion, Mr. Brass, but your rehabilitation specialist is here and waiting for you downstairs.”

“Good. Isla, would you mind staying with her while I get this session over with?”

“You didn’t have to ask. Go before
Olga marches her ass up here to kick you into shape.”

“Fuck off,” I tell her and grab my sneakers from the closet before making my way downstairs to greet my new specialist.

I struggle through the first thirty minutes, and she doesn’t seem too thrilled with my physical history over the last twenty-four hours. I don’t apologize. It has nothing to do with her.

Isla comes down forty-five minutes into the session. “Brass? She’s awake.”

I start to unstrap the monitors, and I’m met with a glare. “I’m cutting today short. I will see you earlier tomorrow morning.”

If I could sprint up the stairs I would, but instead, I take them slowly with Isla by my side. “You need your rest, Brass. She needs you to be rested.”

“She won’t want to be around me once she’s given the okay to go home.”

“I doubt that. Pull your head out of your ass, will ya? This may very well be your last shot with her. Don’t waste it by sitting in the corner and pouting like the pussy that you’ve become.”

All true.

We enter my bedroom, and her head moves to the side lazily to see who has come into the room. I walk to the end of the bed and take in the sight of her. The daylight that is streaming through the open curtains shows me exactly how bruised up she is. Aside from the marks that I found on her last night, her lips seem to be an odd shade, and she has dark bags underneath her eyes.

Through all of it, though, she’s still the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. The only woman I have ever loved. The only woman that I would lay my life on the line for.

“Hadley.” I walk to the side of the bed, and she reaches her hand up for me. I take her one hand in the both of mine and bring it to my lips.

“What happened?” she asks in a faint voice.

I make eye contact with the doctor. “Why don’t we let the kind doctor explain?”

I let go of her hand to move across the room, but there’s panic on her face the second I take a step back from her.

“Please—” she chokes out.

“I’m not leaving, Rye.” I take a seat in the chair that Jacobs provided and allow the doctor to explain what I walked in on and what has happened since. How her body has reacted to the drugs, as well as how she’ll need to stay in bed for the remainder of the day.

“Where is he?” she asks me, her eyes locking with mine.

I uncross my leg and remove my hand that was covering my mouth before speaking. “He’s in police custody. You have nothing to worry about, Rye. I won’t let him hurt you again.”

“You’ve got me?” she asks me hesitantly.

I search her eyes, waiting to see a glimpse of indecision at the words she just said, but when I find nothing but hurt and truth in them, I tell her exactly how I feel in the short phrase. “I’ve got you.”

“What about Isla? I thought that the two of you would have been something by now.”

She’s not making sense, but I answer her question. “There has never been more than friendship between Isla and myself.”

“All right.” She swallows slowly before she sits up and winces, then moves her hand to her hip. “Can I take a shower?”

The doctor answers, “Yes. My nurse will be up shortly to assist you. I’d prefer if you weren’t alone for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”

“All right. I was . . . uhm . . . Wade?”

“What is it?”

“I want . . . would you mind?”

“I’ll stay with her. We’ve had enough nurses around us these past few months to last a lifetime.”

“All right. You have my number if you two need anything. I’ll be back to check on you in a day,” he says as he disconnects her IV, removing it from her arm.

“Thank you,” she says to him, but her eyes don’t leave mine as he packs up his things once again and leaves with Isla.

I get up and walk across the room to shut the door when she speaks, and I’m startled by the panic in her voice. “Please, Wade, don’t go.”

I close the door before turning to look at her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She pushes herself up farther until she’s got her legs off the side of the bed. She stands and my shirt falls into place over her bruised, skin. She’s hesitant as she steps toward me. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming to get me. I don’t remember much of anything. I just remember praying for someone to stop whatever he had planned.”

I move toward her as she does me, but we stop a breath apart from each other. “I didn’t get there soon enough.”

“You still came. After how I left you, I thought that you wouldn’t . . .”

“Never assume that. Now tell me, what is the last thing that you remember?”

She keeps her distance as she tries to remember the last thing. “I remember texting you, and then he forced something into my mouth, which took a while to dissolve.” She scrunches her brow in thought. “I think he fed me some drinks, but that’s all that I can recall, until, well, until waking up a few minutes ago.”

“There’s nothing else?”

“No. I don’t even remember him taking me to the bathroom or how he got me semi-undressed. I just . . . there’s nothing. It’s all so overwhelming.”

“You don’t remember what else he may have done to you?”

She shakes her head and folds her arms over her chest as if she’s trying to protect herself. “I mean, I’m angry for being so vulnerable, and I think I’m still in shock that he did all of this to me, but I only have myself to blame for it. I shouldn’t have been out with him alone.”

I start to reach for her hand, but I stop and pull away. “None of this is your fault. It was beyond your control, and you should not now nor ever feel as if you allowed it to happen.”

She shrugs and sighs heavily before dropping her arms. “I’ll get through it, just as I have before. I may be bruised, bleeding, and sore, but at least I don’t have the distinct memories that I have from my past encounters with men like him.”

“Don’t allow his fuck-up to mess with your head. The doctor said that I got to you before any serious damage was done, as well as before he was able to climax in his rape. I wanted to reassure you that he was wearing a condom.”

“Oh. Well, that’s something, I guess. I’m not exactly sure where to go from here. It feels like I’m starting over again, as if I’ve been pushed over a ledge and been told to free fall on my own again.”

I step toward her and pull her body against mine. “I’ve got you.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and clings onto me like she did the first time I took her out. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers against my chest. It’s barely audible, but I hear her.

I press my lips to the top of her head and breathe her in. “I’ve missed you, Rye. You won’t have to go through any of this alone.”

She sighs into my chest and looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “What happens next?”

“First, I get you cleaned up and help you forget, and then you’re stuck with me by your side for at least two days. After that, if you decide that you’d rather leave again, then you leave.”

She shakes her head up at me and leans up on her toes to place her lips against mine. I can feel my heart strike against my chest as our lips move together, but I pull back when I realize what is going on.

“Hadley. You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” she asks as I lead her to the shower.

“I won’t be your coping mechanism.”

“Excuse me?”

“After last night. I won’t be a replacement for the pain.”

“Wade. You’re not. I . . .”

“No. I am. I’ll call Lola and have her come and collect you.”
Fuck me if that didn’t kill me—the realization of it.

“Brass?” Isla calls out as I step from the bathroom and away from the woman I love.

“Isla. Do me a favor?”

“Uh, do I want to know?”

“I just need you to stay in there while she showers.”

“Why? Is your cock going to explode if you see her naked?”

“No. I need to call her roommate to come and collect her.”

“Why? I thought you wanted to be with her.”

“You know that more than anyone, Isla, but I won’t allow myself to be an addiction to her. I’ve spoken to you in regard to her illness, and she just pushed herself onto me.”

“How do you know that it was the illness and not that she just wants to be with you? You haven’t seen her in weeks. Hell, it’s more like two months.”

“I don’t know, and that’s why I need to walk away.”

“Wade, don’t do that to yourself.”

“I’m not. I’m doing it for her,” I tell her as I walk out of my bedroom and downstairs to the spot where I left her purse when we came in last night.