Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2) (43 page)

“He was gracious and good. The same way Varick always is. He cares more that I’m happy, despite his own destroyed heart.”

“Aye, Princess, ye prove wise.” I could literally
hear
his smirk. “An’ some have the nerve tae name ye young an’ childish.”

“If Varick had acted as I had…” I paused, unable to finish the horrible thought.

“Then we’d all be dead now. He would’ve torn our heavenly city from stem tae stern—had he reacted as ye did. Thank all that’s holy we only received one wee careless an’ hurtful offhanded comment. Aye, I think yer completely justified in running away from him. Justified in punishing him by refusing tae accept his earnest apology, an’ making him suffer an’ worry as long as ye wish.”

I rolled back over, faced the best friend I could ever have in the whole universe, and smiled at him.

“I’m a childish, selfish idiot, am I not?”

“I’ve nae thought ye an idiot, Princess.” He winked then and pinched my cheek. “Forget nae, wee Angel. I dunnae care who yer heart now loves, ye still owe me our promised date.”

“Yes, Brother. I remember. I’ll wear my rare red dress, just for you.”

“Aye, Lass, an’ I’ll sweep ye off yer feet an’ across an entire realm.” He touched the tip of his nose to mine. “Wrapped securely in my arms.”

I grabbed him and kissed him full on the mouth. “Thank you, Brother, for everything. I love you so much.”

“Aye, wee lamb, I know ye do. An’ I love ye more.”

Chapter 50

Varick

(VAH-rick)

I burst through the clouds over Spadroon and flew straight into the tribal leader’s chambers. I made myself visible to all who were gathered around his deathbed—the ones who loved and mourned for him, and the treacherous ones who only
pretended
to. All of them looked to the tiny colorful stranger now standing at the foot of his massive bed.

I respectfully repeated the heavenly words God had sent to me through my great-grandmother
and
a strange little Mermaid creature, the very ones I had learned to say through the gracious help of the only man I had ever killed in cold-blooded vengeance.

The wise leader sat up in his bed and bowed his head toward me. I humbly returned the honor, then turned to leave the silenced room.

As I made my way back to the old wooden chamber doors, I stopped in front of the leader’s lovely wife and his youngest brother. She bowed down and tearfully blessed me for saving her beloved husband. I flashed out only one lethal wing and brought it swiftly down—severing her lying head from her deceitfully used body—and looked at her shocked lover’s face. With little more than a reflex, I caved in his treacherous chest, ripped his wicked heart out, and tossed it upon the floor beside his dead partner’s lifeless body.

I turned back to the healed man and bowed low to him again. He inclined his knowing head and whispered an ancient blessing of his people upon me.

*****

When I returned to Vanahirdem’s gate, I’d been gone from Vittorio’s wise counsel less than twenty minutes.

Varick was standing in the street just outside my home. Instantly, I stood before his worried face. He began hurriedly apologizing for everything he had ever said that may have harmed me in any way. I watched this enchanting man stumbling over his words, professing guilt he did not truly own. I grabbed both sides of his face and kissed his speaking mouth. He tried to continue his ardent apology, I only kissed him again and again until his words ceased and his beautiful lips returned to me in-kind. Varick lifted me up and carried me into my still crowded house.

Vittorio had returned and our friends were all laughing and swapping stories about their recent summonses. We did not break our embrace, nor did we slow our kisses, as Varick carried me through the great room and toward my bedchamber.

The cacophony of voices halted as all eyes followed our passage.

“Hmm, wonder if they made up?” Vinika sneered playfully.

They resumed their play-by-play action stories as Varick closed the door and laid me upon the giant feather bed.

“How did your summons go?”

“Quite well… I suppose. I healed him. I executed them.”

He chuckled. “You are a strange creature, Milady.”

“I prefer the word
unique
.” I smiled.

“You are definitely that. So can I assume you have forgiven me?”

“No, I have not.”

His confused expression was precious, he looked so young.

“But—”

“There was nothing to forgive, Varick. I was the fool, and I yet play the part. Of all the things I have witnessed upon all the layers… nothing I have seen is as unjustified as your love for me.”

He blushed crimson. “That’s not true.”

“Let me finish. I don’t deserve even a passing thought in your head. You should find me repulsive in every way. The way I have repeatedly torn your heart from breast… it should stand absent in my regard.”

“Is that truly how you thought I felt about you?”

“It’s truly how I feel about myself. And I deserve it. I have earned it, well and good. Yet when you look upon me, your eyes sparkle.” I touched the gold streak edging his regal face and twirled it around my finger.

“I can’t help it,” he whispered. “You put that sparkle there even before you were born.”

“Yes, but I have also done everything possible, humanly and inhumanly, to remove it. Not by intent, sweet Guardian, but by careless and foolish action. You deserve a
real
Princess, someone you can be proud of. Varick, you deserve a good woman who is without spot or blemish. Not one who has lain in the mud moments after bathing. Never has your inherent nobility shined more than when placed beside my common filth.”

“And you, Mother of Angels, you deserve a husband who will fight for you. You deserve no less than a man who will rend hell itself asunder just to gaze upon your rare beauty. A man who will honor you above all creation, one who will sacrifice everything he has gained and all he counts dear… just to see you smile. I loved you because I always have, because I was always meant to. But you alone are a treasure so grand, so valuable, that without even trying… you were loved by a mighty Prince who had not even a heart. You, Jenevier, you
created
love where there was none. If a being were given this task and spent eternity upon it, day and night, without ceasing… it could not be done. Yet you, a tiny child with no intentions at all, effortlessly created the purest love ever known in the only place in all creation where love did not and
could not
exist. And that wasn’t the first time, no.
Two
Princes, incapable of love, minus hearts, both are now forever changed by your love. Alas, your damnable fate is so cursed… you claim neither one still at your side. Yet, you carry on. Always broken, always in pain. Still, you forge ahead. How can I do anything but stand in awe of you? Same as Merodach, same as Vindicus—I am humbled by you, dear one. I’m not worthy enough to be counted friend, much less husband and lover. I fear I am not made from as rare a substance as are you.”

“Stop it, Varick. You’re killing me. I cannot bear another kind word. They are knives to my treacherous heart. You have never betrayed me. In the four years I was away, you knew not whether I lived, and
still
you did not love another. I caught but a glimpse of what I deemed to be your marriage and lost all control. I wasn’t
happy
for you. I wasn’t so gracious as to say…
you deserved a wonderful
wife
. No. I wanted nothing more than to call God’s own wrath down upon my wicked head by
slaying
her in front of you. I wanted to hurt you for loving someone besides me. And now… now you lay here and
congratulate
me? For what? For taking a stranger into my bed? Are you serious?”

“He was no stranger. He was your devoted husband. You did not know Apollyon beforehand. You don’t know what it is you have accomplished. Hell is not the heaven you believed it to be. You can’t even imagine how many times your dark Angel has sent demons out to do all manner of evil. Nor do you know just how many of my brothers and sisters he has happily sent to the Otherworld. You chose the
one
entity that could control darkness itself, and you gifted him with the only thing he could never possess. Light and laughter have penetrated all the hidden places throughout all the layers… simply because of your pure heart. All because you loved me too much, you struck the Prince of Hell upon his face. And he
let
you. A being, completely incapable of the slightest bit of warmth or caring, held you upon his lap as you watched the theatre of your life together. This he did all before you were blended with one another during that strangest of all healings. It was you, Jenevier. You unwittingly planted the seed of love in a dead and barren heart, and it grew. Don’t give credit to an accidental dip in primordial ooze, tiny Princess… that was all you. How can I possibly be worthy of one so amazing?”

“If I’m so amazing, explain to me how it is I always want to lash out and hurt someone? If I am nothing but love and innocence, how can I act so spoiled and ignorant?”

“Because you’re young. Think about it, my love. How can a gentle little girl with no fire inside her ever be able to don an executioner’s mask? And then, how can a spoiled and selfish heart ever be able to control an Angel such as Vashti? Have you never considered why your altar mask looks nothing like we do, looks nothing like a Vanir? Now, remember what you thought you saw in hell? You took them all to be Vanir but so much more, did you not? What you were allowed to see while you were amongst them is but a shadow of their former glory. You knew not what it was you were so blessed to behold when you looked upon Apollyon’s new wings. When he left here that day, he was once again more Angel than demon. Twice you have met him, and twice you have healed him. Yet you knew it not. Jenevier, my love, Vashti is not Vanir, she is Angel.”

“Yes, a Death Angel.
The
Death Angel. So what? I don’t understand why you’re saying these things. What are you trying to do? Confess your love for me, or explain why you cannot possibly love a creature such as I? You have called me Angel from the first day we met. You
all
have. Why is it when you say the word now… a shadow is cast over it?”

“Calling you an Angel has always been just a sign of praise and adoration, no different than calling you Princess. This is true for me and all my brothers and sisters. But things are changed.” Varick gently placed his hand on my belly.

I looked into his beautiful eyes and my heart sank. I believed then… he was only trying to let me down easy by telling me how wonderful I was and why we couldn’t possibly be together. He was trying, in his ever regal way, to let me down easy.

“You know?” My voice was tiny, trembling.

“Yes, little Princess. I know.”

“But how?”

“I am eons old, my love. All the things you complain about not having; patience, wisdom, peace. These things take time. I am thousands of years older than you, so I have had thousands more years to learn. I named you Mother of Angels before.
I
knew before
you
knew. I knew the same moment Apollyon knew. I saw his chest swell with pride and fill to bursting with love.”

I couldn’t meet his intense stare. “So you cannot be with me because I’m with child.”

His noble brow furrowed in confusion. “How does your mind work, you strange little creature? How can you take all my praise and adoration and turn it into dust and rubbish? I am telling you all of the reasons why I will
always
love you, why I don’t place blame upon you for there is no blame to place. I am trying my best to explain why you are the very
opposite
of the evil and filthy thing you’ve convinced your heart you are. You are not Vanir. You will never be Vanir. When your transformation happened within the holy temple, you transcended us all, my love. We couldn’t understand you only because you are so much more than we will ever be. Jenevier, you are an Angel. An honest to goodness
real
Angel. Vashti is an Angel. In your rebirth, you were given the angelic appearance of what had been hiding under your human skin all along. You married an Angel, and not just
any
Angel. And now… Angels grow inside you. Everything about you, everything that’s happened to you, is all because you are a daughter of God. You are
His
Angel.”

“That is how you see me?”

“No, my love. That is how you
are
. You’re the only one who cannot see it, cannot see yourself. You are a magnificent creature blessed with the gift of life and death, a physical extension of God’s own hand. That is why you are so gloriously and wonderfully made. It is also why I stand in awe of you, and why I am humbly honored that you have saved a small piece of your heart… just for me.”

I tried, unsuccessfully, to pull away from him. He held me fast, determined I would listen, resolute in his attempt to make me accept his words.

That greatest fear of all, fear of the unknown, crept into my heart as I looked into his ethereal eyes.

“When did you know?”

“The day you tried to kill me in the arena over Alzeen.”

“But… Vareilious told me you thought I was a demon.”

“Many demons were once Angels. The truth of it came out during your transformation. You would never be just Jenevier again. That I knew. But I knew not which way you would turn, good or ill.”

“I’m still not positive which way I
did
turn. I may look Angel, but I act demon at times.”

“Yes, and that only proves all the more. A creature with the pure light of innocence and even purer love… with your wings dipped in blood.
That
is the mark of a true Angel.”

“You make Angels sound terrifying.”

“They can be.” He laughed softly. “
You
can be.”

“What now? The knowledge of what I am, or at least what you
think
I am, changes nothing. The harsh reality would be it only confirms my vast differences. Where are all the other Angels? Why am I alone in this thing?”

“I know not. They are everywhere, just like you. But Angels are solitary creatures. Each has a job, and that’s where they are.”

“So they don’t live together as the Vanir, as a family?”