Blind Love (Sulfur Heights Series) (33 page)

When she starts to come down from her high, my gentler side takes over and I roll her over to her back
, settling myself on top of her and place my lips to hers. They are taking me in.

B
etween her panting breaths, she whispers, “Please, Jake. Take it all away. I can’t leave without having all of you. Just… take it all away.”

My lips meet with hers again and I kiss her like she deserves to be kissed. With each caress of my tongue and connection of my lips
, I slowly meld myself to her. I will help her forget how painful the last few days have been. As long as I’m living, I will never allow her to feel pain like that again, and if she does, I will hold her in my arms and take it all away.

I break our kiss and move my lips down her neck and throat
, tasting the sweetness of her skin as I smell the lavender of her soap.

It’s perfect.

It’s Delilah.

She moves her hands up my back and clings on to my shoulders, holding me firm to her tight, small body.

“Jake, please,” she pleads.

“It doesn’t have to be now. This is new to you—new to both of us. I can wait. You know I’ll wait for you, sweetheart.” I don’t want her to feel pressured to do anything she’s not ready for. I don’t want her to think this is all I want from her.

She grabs my face between her hands. The look of desire and seriousness covers the blue in her eyes and she begs, “You’re the one I want. From the moment I met you two years ago, this is all I’ve ever wanted, to be close to you. Give me this, please.”

It’s all she needs to say. I crash my lips back
onto hers and run my hands down her body. It’s breathtaking. Like I knew it would be. I slowly move my hand down to her shorts as I keep my lips pressed against hers. Kissing was never my thing, but when it’s with the woman you love, it’s more addicting than sex itself. The connection is binding and forever, and in this moment, I’m glad I’ve never really kissed anyone. This moment is only hers—only ours.

My lips ache to explore her body. I move them down past her collar bone
, up over the hills of her breasts and down to her flat, firm stomach. I inch my fingers inside the waist band of her shorts and guide them down her legs only to discover she’s not wearing panties. Fuck!

I take a moment to look at Delilah lying on my bed and the sight of her makes me speechless. Her naked body is a work of art. The shape of her body is exactly what the perfect woman should be
; from her full breasts, down to her small trim waist, and the curve of her hips—absolute perfection in every way. How the fuck did I get so lucky right now? No one has seen this side of Delilah and she trusts me fully to claim her—make her mine.

She pulls me back on top of her and
puts her hands inside my boxers and starts tugging at them. I am ready to feel her from the inside. I know it will be scarring and life changing, but in a good way. She’s already etched herself within in my soul, why not by body, too.

I finish taking my boxers off and start to move from the bed to get a condom off the dresser when she grabs my wrist, stopping me from leaving. “No.” She pulls me on top of her.

I’m pissed at myself again because I’ve probably gone too far, making her worried or scared. “It’s okay. We can stop.”

“That’s…
that’s not what I want. I want you… only you. I only want to feel you.” I’ve never had sex with a woman without protection, but all logic of what I’m doing is gone. She’s torn apart my self-control the moment we met. I will give her whatever she desires.

I fall back on top of her and settle myself between her legs. I lean down and press my lips to hers and whisper, “It’s only ever been you, Delilah. No one has mattered as much in my life than you. I want it to always be you.”

She meets my lips with a kiss and slowly I push the tip of my dick inside her tight opening, holding myself there, knowing it will hurt. She sucks in a breath and freezes.

“Are you okay?” I whisper
. She only nods and pushes her pelvis up to mine.

I move myself in deeper until we are completely connected and she’s filled with me. She is warm, tight and inviting. The feel of skin against skin takes the place of every fuck I’ve ever had. Because this is what real sex is supposed to feel like, this is making love
, and for the first time ever, I get it. I finally understand the connection so many men fall victim to because, right now, I’m right there with them, wounded forever by this woman’s body.

With her guidance, she encourages me to move and I do. Slow and deep, I push myself into her small body, igniting the fire in my groin. She feels so good, better than I’ve ever felt before. Delilah
has been the missing piece to my dismantled puzzle. We fit perfectly inside each other.

I move slow
ly, letting the beats of her heart set the rhythm of each and every movement. Small whimpers and moans escape her lips, encouraging me to keep moving in time with her heart. Then she starts to loosen up—to really move. In Vegas, I got a small glimpse of what those hips could do, but now, with her body connected to mine, Vegas is inconsequential. Each movement from her pelvis is making my body feel alive and overcome with pleasure.

Keeping my lips connected with hers, I run my hand down her side, over the apple of her ass and then lift her leg higher on my hip
before hooking it over my shoulder. I need to get deeper inside of her. She moans out loud and meets me thrust for thrust.

The intensity building in my balls is coming to the end
, and at any moment, I’m going to explode. I start pumping fast, moving in and out of her. The sweat saturates our bodies as we move hard and fast, racing to the finish line together. Once the trembling starts, Delilah practically screams my name as her back arches off the bed while she shivers and shakes from her orgasm. My body is unable to hold off any longer and I let myself go, filling up her body with my release. Then I collapse on top of her, kissing the sweat from her face and brow, weak and high from this life altering experience.

The last few days have been the most challenging days of my life, but in this moment
, I know everything we’ve been through has been worth every second of agony. Everything happens for a reason. In my fucked up head, I can’t help but think the reason why we are here together, making love in my bed with the best person I know, is because Presley knew this is where we needed to be and her death has been the only way we would’ve gotten there.

Delilah

I feel different. Like many times before
, I let the other version of Delilah consume my reality so I can do everything I’ve ever dreamed about. From the moment I’ve laid eyes on Jake Evans, I have been pulled in by his intensity and wonder. Now I know where that feeling comes from. Reality hits me when I realize this is something I’ve always wanted to do with him from day one, however my mind has never allowed myself to move past the kiss in Las Vegas. Every single time I would start to think about Jake in a way other than friends, I shut it down, forcing myself to think about Emerson.

W
hat hurts now isn’t my body; it’s my heart. I have to turn off the newly discovered feeling in order to transform back into the Delilah everyone expects. The Delilah whose future has been molded for her. The Delilah I’ve been raised to be.

Earlier
, when Jake was putting Mia to bed, I took the opportunity to quickly pack my suitcase and haul it out to my car, only leaving my pajamas inside the house. It has never been my intention to go this far with Jake, yet by allowing my heart to make every decision tonight, I have given into the feelings I’ve so carefully suppressed and have felt what I’ve been missing from life.

Now
, lying in Jake’s bed, wrapped in his tattooed arms, my world has been shaken to its core due to the fact that I need to leave. I know my mother’s right; she’s always right. I did make a promise to Emerson and I do care for him, but I will never care for him like this; with all my body, soul and desire. Jake owns that part of me and he always will.

Today, when I watched Drake, the experience was eye opening as he poured
out his broken heart to Presley. I love the entire Evans family, but I cannot live here and get caught up in the evilness that lives around every corner.

Sulfur Heights knew Presley was a tortured soul and without hesitation it
sucked her in, taking her to the darkest days of her life. In the form of Carter Brown, Sulfur Heights saw how close she was to releasing her demons then took her life away permanently. I cannot allow that to happen to me or Jake. I don’t want to sit in a funeral home and morn the love of my life because he made the wrong choices.

Jake is dangerous and lives up to the persona. He isn’t afraid to fight and will take anyone on, but one of these days
, it will be the wrong person. It could be a man like Carter, and then he will be dead. I know I won’t be able to handle that. My heart yearns to be with him, however my mind knows the risk I would be taking, on top of the obligations I have with my family. There’s no way I can ever be in a relationship with a man like Jake Evans. It just wouldn’t work. Someone would break.

I
would break.

Jake is holding me tightly in his arms, his breathing deep and even. I take the opportunity to watch him sleep—to study him. This is Jake
at peace. The bad boy exterior is gone and all that remains is a man stripped of love by the one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally from the time he was born.

I
t breaks my heart that that’s all he’s ever wanted out of life. To simply be loved.

I replay t
he first day I went to the shelter, and Maggie’s words that she spoke to me—burned into my brain.
“All these kids really want is someone to love them. It’s as simple as that. But in South Sulfur Heights, it’s as rare as the Hope Diamond.”
Jake is one of those damaged kids. He’s only wanted love and once he realized it would never happen, he transformed to the man he is today. Cold and calloused, he decided to build a wall around himself, guarding his heart from ever feeling love.

Love.

It’s a four letter word that holds so much weight against the rational decisions I could make. Does Jake feel love for me? He’s let down his guard a little since we’ve declared our friendship, yet I don’t know if he will ever fully allow himself to feel love and give it in return. The relationship he has with his family is different because it’s his family, but for him to love someone on the outside of that may be impossible. I know Jake cares for me, but I question if it’s as deeply as I care for him. I don’t know if he really does. He’s never said.

He’s burrowed deep inside my heart, tattooing himself there and now I need to release myself from him.
I carefully move his arm from my waist and slink over to the side of the bed. His breathing lulls, but it soon deepens, going back into his hibernation-like sleep. As quickly and quietly as possible, I pull my clothes back on, looking around the room for any forgotten items.

Then, m
y purse in hand, I walk over to Jake. The faint light from the street light shines in the only small window in his room. I take a moment to commit him to memory, knowing I will never be here again.

Jake is lying on his back, one arm stretched over to the empty side of the bed and the other draped over his eyes. The colorful art on his muscular arms and the lean muscles of his chest are images I’m burning into my mind.

My former self has taken back over with the full realization that we can never be here again. I do love him and it’s because I love him that I will need to let him go. I can’t leave everything I’ve ever known to be here with him.

Leaning down
, I kiss him on the cheek and whisper into his skin, “You will always be in my heart, my love.”

Chapter 24

Jake

My body is brushed with a feeling of loss when I startle myself awake. The room is still dark when my eyes open. The bed is empty, her smell is all over me, but she is nowhere to be found. I can’t ignore the panicked feeling growing inside my gut. Stepping from my bed, I slip my boxers on and that’s when I notice her luggage is gone. I walk to the closet, empty. She’s gone. The panicked feeling skyrockets. Why is she gone? Did I scare her? Maybe I hurt her?

Questions are bouncing around in my head and it feels like my brain is jumping wildly on a trampoline as I get dressed in record time. I grab my cell and wallet then run up the stairs, pulling my boots on as I step. I have to stop her. I need to know why she’s gone. I need to know what I’ve done. And I need to bring her back to me.

The rain has finally stopped. The air is cool, chilling my skin
, as I run down the back steps toward the garage. Drake is still passed out on the couch and next to him is Jeremy. He vowed to look over Drake last night and I briefly wonder if anything happened. However, I’ve got something just as urgent to take care of. I wake Jeremy for the keys to the Challenger. Without a word, he yanks them out of his pocket and tosses them into the air. I catch the metal then get into the driver’s side door.

Firing the engine, I drive erratically out of the driveway and down the street. I have no idea where she is or when she
’s left, but I will find her. If that means driving fourteen hours to Memphis, so be it. I will drive to the ends of the earth to bring her back to me. She’s mine and no one else’s.