Blind Love (Sulfur Heights Series) (35 page)

Chapter 25

Jake

I wasn’t expecting her to be standing in the middle of the hotel room when I was able to pick the lock and break into her hotel room. Jeremy keeps an emergency tool kit in the trunk, and I’m glad I
’ve convinced him to add our lock picking bag. It’s a hobby we’ve had when we were young, but it has proven to be a skill that comes in handy. I can think of no words when I connect my eyes to hers. She’s standing in the middle of the room, wearing only a shirt and panties making my inhibitions and well -rehearsed speech fall to the wayside. My body overtakes me, and with every desire I have for Delilah, I wrap her in my arms and take her.

The room is quiet when I roll off
her body, exhausted from my release and that’s when I notice her face. She doesn’t look satisfied, she looks distant…frightened even, and now I’m growing angry with myself. I’ve taken advantage of her. I came on too strong and she thinks this is the only way I know how to make love, but God it’s not. Not with her. I will treat her as the precious woman she is.

I yank up my pants when Delilah rolls off the bed
, pulling clothes out of her suitcase. This is the first time I really get a good look of her ass, and as the pig I am, I can’t help but stare at it. It’s perfectly tight, round and firm. My words momentarily escape me as I gawk at her ass. God damn! She’s so fucking hot! I snap my gaze to the floor when she turns around, pulling a shirt over her head—covering her body completely. Good, now I can finally concentrate.

Delilah is shaking and the tears have pooled in her eyes. I move from the bed to comfort her
, and as I step closer, she takes a step back, refusing to let me near. Confused I ask, “What? What’s the matter?”

“Just…I…I…just can’t, Jake.” Her arms wrap around her waist and she moves yet another step away. What the fuck?

I went from longing to lust to anger in a matter of moments. My face heats and my muscles tighten as I stare at the woman I love and watch her step away from me. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I mean I can’t be with you Jake. Not like this. Not again.”

I move from the side of bed to stand in front of her. She won’t look me in the eye because she knows she’s lying to herself and I can immediately call her on it. “Then why were you with me not once but twice today. Why did you beg me to fuck you when you knew you couldn’t or should I say
shouldn’t
do it?”

“I don’t know.” She whispers as the tears pour from her eyes and for once they don’t affect me. I watch the tears burn her cheeks
, knowing she’s covering up her true feelings, denying herself the happiness she deserves all because of her fucking family. It’s something she always does.

“Is this about Emerson? Or your mom? Because I know you’re fucking lying to me right now!” I shout
. I’m so angry I’m unable to control the sound of my voice.

“Of course it’s about Emerson, Jake! I’m engaged to be married, I’m supposed to be his wife in
May and look what I did! Look what I’ve done!” She unlocks her arms from her waist and begins to pace the room.

“You don’t have to marry him, Delilah.” I stop her from pacing by putting my hands on her shoulders. She’s feeling guilty; something a good person feels when they’ve done something dishonest.
She needs to realize she’s with me because it’s not meant for her to be with Emerson. She’s meant to be with me. Moving my hand, I place my fingers under her chin and lift her head to connect my eyes with hers. I lower my head down and press Delilah’s salty lips to mine—kissing her, consuming her—then say, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Besides, I didn’t drive two hours to just have sex with you…well not in that order anyway.” I flash my trademark smirk then continue. “I came here to tell you something else.”

Delilah

Panic ensues. I know what Jake is going to tell me. I don’t want to hear the words;
God knows I can’t hear the words, not from him. It will break me just as it will break him the moment I tell him we can’t have each other. He will fall apart. I have to stop him before it’s too late to save his heart, too late for both of us.

“Jake, just don—”

“Shut up.” My eyes narrow. I hate when he tells me that. “I ha…
have to tell you… I love you, Delilah St. James.”

Oh
, sweet Jesus, this is spiraling downward and fast. He has to stop. It will be much easier on both of us if he just stops. The feel of his hands on my shoulders and the look of his warm brown eyes are my undoing. My heart is a masochistic for Jake Evans’s eyes and it finally wins out over my head. I want to hear everything he has to say. I want to torture myself with his words and feel the love I wish I could have with him. I want to feel the warmth of his love before I let it burn to ashes then fade into nothingness.

“I’m not saying it because we’re friends. That’s not how I mean to say it. You have to understand
that I’ve never said that to anyone and I’ve never wanted to say that to anyone… then I met you. The second I looked into your blue eyes, I fell in and I’ve been drowning in you ever since.”

Jake moves his palms to my cheeks and presses his body next to mine
, filling the gap between our two bodies. All I feel is the ever present heat between us, the fire that always burns from our skin. “Earlier tonight, it was a first for me, too. I’ve never made love to anyone and that’s exactly what I did with you. The moment I kissed you in Vegas…” He lifts his warm thumb, gliding it across my bottom lip as he brushes away a lonesome tear and then plants the most tender kiss to my lips. They taste divinely of mint and he continues, “…I was done. I was done with everyone that wasn’t you. The moment I kissed you, I knew I was in trouble.” He leans down and kisses me again—soft and sensual.

“When you arrived in town for Presley’s funeral, I took one look at you and instantly knew I belonged to you and you to me. Because I finally realized how much I fucking love you, Delilah. All I want
is to be with you, love you, and take all your pain away. I came here to tell you that I’m all in. This whole fucking relationship thing, I’m all in for you.”

“Jake, I don’t
k
n—
”

“Please tell me you’re in
. Tell me you are willing to walk blindly into your future, your future with me. I will take those chances any day of the week because it will be
you
walking blind beside me.” Jake’s hands are firmly cupping my cheeks, burning my skin with his intensity.

“Jake
, I can’t. I’m expected to be at home,” I whisper, trying to make sense of this entire mess.

My heart is screaming to jump, to go into the blind unknown with this man, but everything I’ve ever been told to do is still gripping and hanging onto my reality. I’ve made up my mind and that’s the way it has to be. I
’ve never been supposed to be with someone like Jake, and I won’t allow myself to break away from everything I have been raised to be because he has this power over my heart. Love can only get you so far in life. You have to depend on your head to get you through the rest.

Besides,
I’ve been thinking with my heart for the last four days and look where it’s gotten me. There’s nothing planned for us; we have no future. Like Jake said, we’d be walking blindly into the unknown future and I just can’t play those odds. What I have with Emerson is secure and predictable. Jake is the opposite, and I will not gamble on my life like that. What if we have a Drake and Presley type of story? What the hell will happen then? I can’t sacrifice myself like that.

“To go home and marry him?”
he seethes.

“Yes. He’s good for me. He’s what I need.”

“You mean, he’s safe and it’s what your family fucking wants, but answer me this, Delilah, what the hell do
you
want?” With every question, Jake’s voice rises slightly as our conversation gets swarmed with intense emotions.

I know what I want, but I also know what I cannot have. I won’t have it. I will pick the safe choice. I will pick Emerson.

“Jake, please stop this. Why are you pushing me? Just let it be. Let it go and let me go,” I beg him, hoping he sees what I’m trying to do.

“Is it because he has money and your
parents’ approval? Tell me, cupcake, what is it that makes you think you can’t be with me?” Jake crosses his arms over his chest as it heaves up and down with anger.

“I will never be good enough for you, will I? It doesn’t matter that I haven’t looked or even thought of another woman since I kissed you in Vegas. And it doesn’t matter that I haven’t had a
single drop of whiskey since Vegas because something inside of me told me to just stop! None of that shit matters because I will never be good enough for a stuck up rich chick like you!”

Jake walks like a predator stalking his next kill as he flexes his muscles in anger. That’s until his fist swings quickly through the air and he plows it into the drywall. He’s out of control as he drives his hand over and over into the wall. Blood stains the white paint with every blow.

“Stop it
, Jake!” I run over to him and grab his arm, preventing him from making any further holes I will now need to pay for.

His breathing is deep,
his eyes murderous. “Can’t you see what I’ve done?” He grabs my arms painfully, squeezing them. Angry with every breath he takes. “I’ve told you things, done things I’ve never done before, and changed everything I’ve ever known. It’s been all for you!”

“I never ask
ed you to do that!”

Jake turns his body again
, taking his fury out on the wall. Three more holes accompany the six already there. The blood is now dripping quickly from his hand, but it doesn’t faze him. Nothing is daunting him right now.

“Yes
, you did!” Jake grabs his hips, intense and angry, then his arms flail as blood flies from the wound on his hand. “When you asked me to be your friend, I’ve been slowly changing and it’s all because I wanted you! I needed you in my life!”

“Jake, I have obligations! I can’t just leave!” I scream back at him, not caring it’s the middle of the night and I’m waking the neighbors.

“Goddammit! Are you listening to yourself?” His hands slide from his sides, holding firmly to my arms as blood runs onto my skin. The look in his eyes is burning, intense and irate. “Marrying someone isn’t a fucking obligation, Delilah! You marry someone because nothing else compares. You know from the deepest parts of your soul you’ll love no other. Unless…” He is broken from his thought as another one moves to the forefront. “Unless… it’s not the same for you?”

The guillotine drops and it’s now my turn to shatter his soul to pieces. “Jake…
I do love you, but I think you’re just confused. We’ve been close for a long time and what we did was just impulse, not love. We were both hurting an
d—
”

“Then tell me the real reason why you decided to fuck, cupcake?” I can’t escape the glare in his eyes. I can’t escape anything. I need to finish this. I need to break this off and leave this damn hotel room.

“I… don’t know. I was just caught up in the moment. You were finally opening up about your mother and I just felt sor—”

“Are you saying
you fucked me because you felt sorry for me?” Jake interrupts, and I’ve never seen him so angry in my life. We’ve had many fights over the last couple of years, but this look is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Well, not toward me anyway. He’s glaring like he wants to kill me, and for the first time, I’m frightened. “You took fucking pity on me?”

“I don’t know! I was just confused. Your voice was so distant and sad
… I… I kissed you to make you feel better. To make me feel better, not knowing how you really felt about me. I’m sorry!”

Jake takes a step away. The rage is still present in his body, but he transforms back into the Jake I met years ago. The arrogant, conceited bastard—the mask he
dons whenever he needs to hide his true self.

He moves backward toward the door
as he says, “Well, don’t be sorry about that, cupcake. It took a couple of years, but I finally got to stick my dick inside you. Not once, but twice. What I said earlier is the truth, I do… well, I
did
love you, but now I can see the cunt you truly are and I’m glad I get to walk away. I don’t think I can stand to be with someone as weak and fake as you.” Jake opens the door and slams it behind him.

I finally release the wails that were growing inside my chest. I’ve successfully done what I initially set out to do
, and that was to break him down then push him away from me. He’ll hate me.

This
has been my goal all along. When I left Memphis days ago, my mother said I would need to say goodbye forever, and with him, the only way it would be successful is to completely cut him out of my life. I’ve done that. He’s gone and I guarantee I will never see or hear from Jake Evans ever again.

Chapter 26

Jake

Yvonne comes storming down the hallway when I slam Delilah’s hotel door. She’s livid with me and shouts that she’s called the police for the disturbance. I shrug her off, not caring if she slices my throat or guts me open. Anything would feel better than what I’ve just experienced. My chest feels like it’s been put through a meat grinder and shredded to bits because Delilah doesn’t love me.