Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) (12 page)

My body is a weapon. In order to wield it properly, I have learned to center my thoughts and calm my disquieted spirit. The demon’s hold will not relent unless I possess full control over my mind and spirit.

The thirst is also worsened by this loss of composure. A vampire’s emotions are much more difficult to combat than a human’s. They can bring about one’s demise, or one’s insanity.

              -W.F.

Great. So, basically, I needed to see a shrink. This day kept getting better and better. Slamming the journal shut, I closed my eyes, releasing an audible sigh.

“Do you want some help with anything?” a soft, timid voice asked.

A little startled, I glanced up to find the quiet brunette standing right in front of me. I was so consumed with my research I hadn’t even realized she was still here.

She introduced herself before I could answer the question. “My name is Sophie.” She extended her hand and eyed me, a bit unsure of herself now.

“Sorry, I’m Lucy,” I said, making no move to take her hand. “I probably shouldn’t touch you. Apparently, I have no control over my demon body.”

She stared, wide-eyed for a moment, then cracked a smile, measuring my intentions before responding herself. She finally pulled her hand back to push her glasses up her nose.

“Um, so is there anything I can help with? I’m in here a lot, so I know where a lot of things are,” she said sweetly.

“Yeah, do you happen to have
How to be a Good Vampire For Dummies
?” I asked.

Another hesitation before the joke dawned on her. “Oh! Oh, you’re funny,” she laughed. “I don’t know if I can help you there, but there might be other questions I could answer.”

“To be honest, Sophie, I’m not sure if I can handle any more answers right now. They always seem to bring bad news.”

“Well, like I said, I’m here a lot if you think of any. Let me know,” she repeated shyly.

She was a tad awkward and in serious need of a confidence boost, but I could tell we were going to get along splendidly. So far, she was the only person who seemed genuine. Everyone else either wanted something or had a hidden agenda. She was also the first person who didn’t look at me like I was a celebrity. Bonus points for that.

“Thanks. Actually, I do have a question, not vampire related,” I prompted.

She beamed. “Sure. What do you want to know about?”

“Who really owns this house? I know some of the Keepers leave part of their inheritance to the organization after they die, but whose signature is on the deed?”

It wasn’t exactly imperative that I knew the answer, but it has been nagging me since I arrived.

“Hmm,” she pondered it as her nose wrinkled with concentration, causing her large glasses to slip down further. “I don’t know. Helen mostly runs the place, but I don’t think her name is on the deed. It might be one of the benefactors who passed away, or his family. I only came here about a year ago. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. I was thinking how my room alone could be fit for royalty. It isn’t, like, some royal family’s vacation home, is it?”

“No, but they did remodel your room before you got here. Helen saw to it that you had all new furniture and clothes.”

“Did she?” I asked. Was she trying to make up for the years of silence? Curiouser and Curiouser.

†

The rest of the day was dreadfully boring as I sat in my room listening to music, all the while forming a plan to tame my inner demon. That went about as well as a cat taking a swim. When Helen suggested I try meditation routines this week, I walked away.

I was sure this place would result in my demise or my insanity, as my new pal, W.F., would say. My success at learning meditation was improbable at best.

Wade had directed me to another training room where I would begin my lessons in glorified breathing, per Helen’s request. I was to report there every day for a week, or until I showed signs of progress. I wasn’t happy about the lack of action, but with an enormous effort, I kept myself subdued. I knew it was the safest thing for everyone in the house.

The following day, I met a couple new people in the meditation room. There was a tall lanky guy about 16 with long, dark, shaggy hair named John and another dark haired girl about the same age with a short gymnast build named Rachel. I learned they were siblings, but Rachel was only fifteen, while John just turned seventeen.

They were nice and kept mostly to themselves, almost afraid to get too close to me. I didn’t push them. They did yoga while I sat quietly trying to clear my head.

According to Wade and Helen, I needed to think about whatever might be bothering me and come to terms with it. Let me take a moment here to laugh out loud. I really wanted to test my strength on their faces.

Hmm. What could possibly be bothering me?

So instead, I spent the entire morning thinking of other ways to get my muscle back. I went through every meditation routine I could think of, which consisted of me chanting Ohmm over and over for a couple hours. I tried clearing my mind, but that only led to me focusing on every tiny sound reverberating throughout the mansion.

I heard floors creaking, chairs scraping, tree limbs creaking under the weight of the snow and a little heavy breathing somewhere in the other wing of the house. Someone was getting lucky.

Frustration finally got the best of me, and I had to break for lunch before I accidentally hurt someone. On my way to the other wing, I passed Blondie in the hall, who was so busy trying to straighten her blouse that she almost ran straight into me. I stopped to allow her enough time to look up and see me.

When she finally did, she came to a full stop, gasping in surprise. “Watch it,” she snapped.

“I was watching, which is why you didn’t run into me,” I retorted with growing disdain.

“You think you’re hot shit, don’t you? You shouldn’t even be here, vampire. We were better off without you.”

What was she talking about? I didn’t think of myself as hot anything. “What is your problem?” I asked.

“You. Everyone is so in awe of the chosen one. You’re the one that will bring peace to the world and blah, blah, blah. I don’t buy it, though. I think you’re going to get us all killed. From what I hear, you’ve done nothing but piss off every powerful vampire in the world and they’re looking for you. And from what I’ve seen the past few days, I don’t think you can handle it.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, too… I’m sorry, what was your name?”

“It’s Allison. I’m one of the best fighters this place has. I’ve killed vampires before. Remember that in case you start to get hungry.”

“Noted. I’m actually feeling a bit hungry now,” I said, advancing on her.

She inched back, but that tiny display was enough to know she was all talk. Maybe she got lucky and killed a vampire or two, but the fight in her eyes was beginning to wane with the first sign of danger.

“Care to join me for lunch? Or do you need to go cover up that hickey?”

She huffed and stomped a foot as she hurried past me. “You might want to keep an eye out for sharp pointy objects. Accidents happen. You never know when one might stab you in the back,” she warned.

I walked away shaking my head. “Been there, done that. Find a new threat, Drama Queen.”

Making my way through the dining room with my fresh thermos, I spotted Sophie at a table by the windows. “Hey, mind if I join you?”

Looking up from her worn copy of Pride and Prejudice, she smiled and put the book down. “Sure. Have a seat.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy,” I said, nodding in the direction of her book.

“Oh, no. I’ve read it like fifty times already, anyway. It’s really good,” she gushed. She seemed so animated when it came to books, but any other time I’ve seen her, she was uncomfortable and closed off.

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” I said, admitting to my lack of a reading resume.

“Really? Here, take mine. Everyone has to read this one at least once. It’s a classic.” She offered me the book.

Reluctantly, I took it, not fully committing to the idea of cracking the cover. “Thanks. If anything, I can use it as a shield against Allison’s verbal assaults. Maybe I could just knock her unconscious with it.”

“Oh no, did she say something to you?” Sophie asked, pity filling her voice.

“Only that she wanted me gone and that she may try to kill me,” I responded. “On second thought, I’m not sure I’d be one hundred percent comfortable if not one person in the house threatened to off me.”

“I’m sorry. She can be pretty mean sometimes. She lost family to vampires and takes it out on pretty much everyone.”

“Haven’t we all lost someone to vampires?”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. I lost my dad when I was younger. I went to stay with my mom after he died, until the Keepers tracked me down. I joined them right away. I figured it was the best way to honor my dad. What about you?”

She spoke so openly about losing someone close to her. How did she do that without flipping her shit?

“I’m sorry,” she said after I didn’t answer. “I didn’t mean to pry or bring up painful memories.”

“No worries. I guess we all deal with our pain in different ways.” Apparently, my way sucked harder than I did. Cue the bad joke rimshot.

“Yeah. I guess, but it still didn’t give Allison the right to attack you like that. Honestly, I think she’s just jealous that there is someone stronger and prettier than her in the house. She’s so used to having all the boys’ attention and being the center of the universe.”

“Oh, perfect. I
am
back in high school. Please, just stake me now,” I pleaded.

She laughed and we continued to chat about simple, non-vampire related things for another hour until she retreated back to the library. I did everything I could to pass the time before going back to meditating.

Eventually, I asked John and Rachel if I could do yoga with them. They agreed hesitantly, so I kept my distance but followed all their movements. It turned out that yoga was more calming than my method of meditation. Who would have guessed?

†

The remainder of the week fell into an easy rhythm, but the restlessness gnawed at me. I begged Helen every day to let me go out on the night guard or practice sparring, anything to keep me active.

I was sure I had her convinced I would be more dangerous if I couldn’t let off some steam. She hadn’t allowed me to venture outside for fear of vampires in the area picking up my scent. I was positive she was a crazy person. There were no vampires in these woods. It wasn’t as if they would be hunting bears or wolves. They weren’t exactly the sparkly kind of vampires.

Helen had made herself as scarce as possible the entire week, probably so she wouldn’t have to deal with my complaints. I observed the other house members when I could, and I noticed patterns with some. Certain people in the house had specific duties. The weaker fighters trained with the stronger ones occasionally, but they mostly remained in the library researching the First or the prophecy and tracking bloodlines through advanced genealogy applications. Ancestry.com must have been making a killing off them. The stronger fighters rotated night guard shifts and trained with each other in various forms of hand-to-hand combat as well as weaponry.

I was determined to get on that team. On the last day I was supposed to be working on my meditation, I cornered Helen in her office. It was large and tucked into the front corner of the left wing. The entire back wall was composed of custom built in shelving, not surprisingly covered with books. In front of it sat a large mahogany desk that dwarfed Helen. She looked like a child sitting behind it.

“So, Helen, I was thinking,” I began, initiating my plan to annoy her with questions until she caved. She looked up with a guarded expression. “I’d like to learn more about myself. What makes me different from the run of the mill bloodsucker?”

“Have you not learned all you can from the library?” she asked, her tone brittle.

“Well, see, that only led to more questions. I kill them, but I never wondered if they might have some bit of humanity left in them. What if they do?”

“They don’t,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“How do you know?”

She eyed me as if she was determined to wait out my patience but finally realized I wasn’t going anywhere. She released a long, disapproving sigh. “Have a seat, Lucille.”

I came around to slide into one of the wingback chairs facing the desk. Propping my feet up on the polished wood, I settled in for story time.

“We’ve discussed this in St. Louis, but I’ll tell you again. The Shadow-marked vampires have no soul. They forfeit it when they choose to kill. They choose to kill because they no longer have a conscience. Day-marked vampires are gifted in that aspect. They retain their conscience and ability to experience human emotions when they are changed. They are gifted with the opportunity to restore their soul, so long as they don’t kill. If a Day-marked vampire were to have the blood of a victim they killed in their system at the time of death, they would lose their soul and all humanity for good, just like the Shadow-marked ones,” she explained. “That is what makes you different, Lucille.”