Blizzard (The Brotherhood Journals #1) (4 page)

A clearing throat broke my gaze and I listened as Judge began to speak. He held his head high despite the predicament he was in. That there told me just how much they needed us. He wasn’t going to come in here and beg and plead for help. That’s not what a strong president did.

He was going to lay it out on the table, and regardless of our answer he’d hold his shoulders back and walk out of here throwing a
‘fuck you’
over his shoulder.

I had to respect him for that.

“Got a club moving in on our turf, Vicious Vultures MC.” He clenched his fist as it sat atop the table. My mother, Jackie, wrapped her hand over his and gave a light squeeze. “They’ve been on our asses for a month or more now. Trying everything they have. Shooting down a couple of my boys, taking out shops in town, terrorizing people, and telling everyone if we don’t give it up that they’ll burn down everything until there’s nothing left.”

“You ride all the way here because of a war over your ground?” I scoffed. “This is what your other chapters are there for.”

Judge acknowledged my words but continued to talk to Op. “Another chapter came to help, drove them out for a bit but shit got serious… personal, two nights ago.” He cleared his throat and eyed my mom who nodded at him in support. “They took our baby girl.”

I stared at them in shock. I never knew anything about them having another child. I wondered if my father knew, surely he would have loved to have been able to throw that in my face. I pushed back from the table and forced myself to my feet.

I caught my mother move out of the corner of my eye but Op held up a hand, stopping her from climbing out of her chair.

“How old are we talking here?” Op enquired.

“She’s nineteen,” she answered softly.

Numbers began running through my head. How old was I when she left? How old am I now?

I turned sharply and stared her down. “A liar and a fucking cheat.” I licked my lips and glared at her.

“Matty…”

“That’s not my fucking name!” I yelled. I felt a hand on my shoulder, a light hand.

“Blizzard, it’s okay,” Chelsea told me softly.

“It’s not…” I tried to breathe but it was awkward and jolted, the adrenaline and anger filling my veins. “It’s not okay! While you were off fucking around and destroying my world, I was dealing with the aftermath. I was taking the beating for you!”

My mother gasped and a hand covered her mouth.

“
I was taking a beating so you could go out and be a fucking whore.”

“Enough!” Judge snapped, slamming his palms on the table and glaring back at me. “Show your mother some fucking respect. You need to learn the truth before you start throwing unsupported accusations around.”

I took a step forward, Chelsea still gripping at my shoulder in a pathetic attempt to hold me back. “Unsupported? I have the fucking scars to prove it.”

“Blizzard, that’s fucking enough,” Op growled, standing too and turning his body to me. “Sit the fuck down, we aren’t done.”

Chelsea stepped in front of me now and I let her push me back until I felt my back hit the bar and I fell into a now vacated bar stool. She gripped my hand, my knuckles white from the harsh way I was clenching them. She pried it open and forced a cold beer bottle inside.

Leaning into me she whispered harshly, “Drink it before Op comes over here and knocks you the hell out.”

I looked over her head to my president. He may be my best friend, but he had the threat of violence in his eyes as he stared me down. I chugged at the bottle, the cool bitter liquid slipping down my throat. The room sat quietly. Chelsea watched me cautiously until she was satisfied, then she stepped away, sliding up behind Op.

With things calm, Op started again. “How’d they get her?”

My mom cleared her throat. “Picked her up straight outside her work. Killed one of the boys in the process.”

“And since then?” Leo asked, taking my place beside Op at the table.

“Demanding we hightail it out of town in exchange for her.” I looked up as another voice joined the conversation. He was young but tall and broad. He held a lighter in his hands, flicking it in his fingers.

“
Guessing we aren’t looking at that as an option,” Leo responded.

The kid narrowed his eyes. “I want my fucking woman back! And unfortunately, for us, you might be the only way we can do that without losing our club or our lives in the process.”

Ah, so the kid was with my so-called little sister. My instincts screamed punch him for that fact alone. It was a weird feeling.

“You got a plan for this?” Op asked, winding his arm around Chelsea as she stood at his side.

“Hoping that’s something we can figure out if you agree to help us out,” Judge said, strumming his fingers on the table.

Op responded diplomatically, “That’s something I’ll need to discuss at the table with my brothers.”

Judge took my mom’s hand. “Of course. We’ll be staying in town. You can let us know when you’ve come to a decision.”

I watched as Optimus shook their hands and followed them out to their bikes. My brothers milled around, but Chelsea walked straight up to me.

“You need another beer?” she asked.

I looked down at my bottle which had become empty reasonably faster than usual. “Yeah, princess.”

She walked around the bar and I noticed the small hobble in her step. Chelsea had been hurt badly, needing extensive physical therapy before she was able to walk properly again. But we all noticed when she was worn out or stressed she started to struggle a little.

“Princess, you need to sit down before your old man finds you walking around like a lame duck,” I scolded her as she sat another cold beer on the counter.

“Did you just call me a lame duck?” She tapped her manicured nails on the polished bar, daring me to admit to it.

I grinned. “Yeah, but one of those cute yellow fluffy ones.”

She snorted. “You’re a douche.”

My grin slowly turned into a smirk as I heard the deep rumble of bikes and the thump of heavy motorcycle boots coming to the door. “Hey, Op! Your girl has a wobble in her step.”

Chelsea reached across the bar like she was going to grab me, but I sidestepped out of her reach.

“Woman, will you just sit down,” Optimus gruffed appearing in the doorway.

She folded her arms across her chest. “I’m fine. Your brother here is just pushing buttons.”

“Chelsea…” Op warned.

“He called me a lame duck!” she protested, pointing at me like an accusing toddler.

I laughed, but before I could retort a small body zipped in the door beside Optimus and threw itself at me. I managed to place my drink on the bar before catching Harlyn in the air and lifting her up.

“Hey, brat.” I smiled at the little girl.

Harlyn was Op’s little girl. She and her mother had been living a few states away. That was until shit hit the fan a couple months ago, and Optimus finally moved them back here in an attempt to keep them safe as we were dealing with the same mafia family that had shot me on the side of the street a few months back.

When things finally calmed down, Sugar, Harlyn’s mom decided to move them back and re-join our family. Optimus and Chelsea were both excited to have them here. Another of my brothers was particularly happy to have Sugar so close, but Op was still oblivious to the growing relationship that was going on inside these walls.

“Why aren’t you at school?” Chelsea asked suspiciously, leaning across the bar to give the girl a kiss on the cheek.

Harlyn covered her mouth and gave a little cough. “I’m sick.”

I raised my eyebrow at Optimus and he scrubbed his hand down his face.

“Like hell you are,” Optimus growled walking over, taking her from me and setting her on the floor. He crouched down in front of her. “You missed two days last week, Harlyn. What’s going on?”

She scuffed her tiny tennis shoes on the floor.

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Sugar appeared in the doorway that Optimus had just vacated. “We’re going to see the teacher after school.”

Harlyn groaned, “I’m sick.”

“Bullshit,” Op said picking her up off the floor. “What time? Chelsea and I will come.”

“Three thirty. But for now, you’ve got homework to do missy.” She threw Harlyn’s school bag on the nearest table.

Harlyn looked over to Chelsea as if seeking some support. Chelsea shook her head. “Get to it.”

Optimus placed her on her feet and she stomped off, grumbling under her breath about how it was
so unfair
. The kid may be only six but it was like having a damn preteen around.

“The life of a six-year-old… so hard,” I mocked.

She shot me a glare over her shoulder and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Like father, like daughter.

“Church in half an hour,” Optimus ordered before taking off down the hall to his office.

His words were suddenly sobering. There were bigger things to worry about. If Harlyn only knew how lucky she was.

My life was about to get a whole lot more complicated.

I could feel it.

The plane ride hadn’t been long, but in my head, it had seemed like an eternity. Sitting there, waiting as I slowly got closer and closer to the place where I lost myself.

Athens held the worst memories of my life. It had been where my father had beaten me, where he’d made me feel like I was the lowest scum on earth. He told me stories about how powerful the DePalma family was, how they owned the United States and how they were so dominant and influential. Marco made me feel like it was a privilege to be considered part of their family, not a right simply because I had their blood running through me.

When I first found my father he’d sent me away to college across the other side of the country. It hurt to know that this man who I had been searching for, for so long, was so cold and uncaring. While I was away, I researched the history of Italian families—their customs, their values. It was everything I wanted, everything as a little girl I’d dreamed of. Cousins, aunts, and uncles, grandparents—the type of family that all came together to celebrate.

So when Marco called me to say it was time to come and prove how dedicated I was to becoming a part of their family, I joined him in a flash. Not knowing that what I was about to walk into would utterly destroy me.

I inhaled deeply as I stepped out the front doors of the airport. The air here was just different than it was in New York. Fresher maybe. But even the smoothness of the air and the open spaces did nothing to calm me.

I gave it a few minutes, hoping to calm my shaking hands before tossing my bag over my shoulder and walking to the nearest taxi.

I’d booked a hotel room that was close to the university and town so I wouldn’t need to get a car. The plan was one night and then I was out of here tomorrow afternoon.

In and out—I could do it.

My body was beginning to feel much calmer as I sat back and watched the world flash by. I had fallen in love with this town. It was beautiful and old fashioned. A knot formed in my throat. The scenery was familiar, and as I stared out the window and took it in, I began to feel almost comforted.

As much as I both loved and loathed the memories that came with this place, in the end, it still had a feeling of home.

I got settled in my hotel room and ordered some food. I’d chosen to take a late flight so tomorrow I could walk to the university and then catch a taxi from there straight to the airport. There wouldn’t be a lot of hanging around and, therefore, less chance of seeing… someone. I checked the clock. It was almost 7:00 p.m. and it was beginning to get dark outside.

I stood on the balcony and stared out over the street. I’d gotten to know Athens like the back of my hand, and my old apartment was only two streets over from where I was. I could almost see the rooftop.

The urge to go and take a peek was enticing. I’d loved that small little place. Before Chelsea had moved in with me, it had been where I had found my sanctuary.

It reminded me of home.

It reminded me of my mom.

My chest ached as I thought about the woman who’d raised me. I’d tried to ignore my thoughts of her for the past year or so, simply because I knew she’d be so disappointed with the person that I had become.

I threw on a sweatshirt with a hood and pulled on my sneakers. Jogging down the stairs, I hit one of the last corners and almost collided with a woman who was slowly making her way up. I jumped out of the way, apologizing profusely, as she held her hand to her heart like I’d scared the crap out of her too.

“It’s okay, honey,” she said, finally looking up at me. “I should’ve heard you coming but I was in another world.”

Her eyes were beautiful, bright and blue and full of familiarity. The second I thought she might know who I was I excused myself. “No problem, bye!” I took the stairs two at a time, wanting to get away as fast as I could. The last thing I wanted was for someone to recognize me while I was here and have The Brothers come knocking on my hotel room door.

I tucked my hair into my collar and pulled my hood over my head. I kept my face down as I walked, nerves setting in and causing me to jump at every little noise or movement.

It wasn’t that I was afraid.

I knew that The Brothers would never hurt me—not physically. But I knew that given the chance, Blizzard was going to take another shot at ripping me to shreds. I was growing stronger every day, accepting that I’d made mistakes and trying to build myself into a better person. Right now, wasn’t the time to be cut down and destroyed by someone who I once seriously cared for—who I still cared for. I was afraid that every step I’d made so far would have been for nothing and I’d be back to that scared little mouse that I left Athens as, so many months ago.

The wind brushed my hood back from my face and I found myself standing in front of the apartment I’d once loved.

The bottom floor was an old lock-up garage where the people who owned the apartment stored all their stuff while they were gallivanting overseas on cruises and holidays. They never stayed in one place and, therefore, decided to rent out their small apartments to help fund their expenses—not that they needed to, they were rich and horribly greedy.

I couldn’t help but smile at the rickety staircase that led up the side to the apartment. My mom and I had lived in the same type of apartment in California for twelve years. The only difference was that there was an apartment underneath us and Miss Betham, she was the old lady who lived there looked after me every day after school.

I studied the place carefully, wondering why I hadn’t realized the similarities until now.

My mom worked two jobs, and then when I turned fourteen, I worked one too. And even then we were still struggling to make ends meet at the best of times.

The light wind chilled the tears that had begun to slip slowly down my cheeks.

I missed her so much.

My mom was a woman that I looked up to and admired. She was so strong and never let our circumstances dictate our happiness. She always found time, and she made me remember that it wasn’t about how much money we had or where we lived, but who we were as people.

A lesson that I had obviously forgotten.

I felt like I’d ruined everything and destroyed the person she brought me up to be. Things were never meant to turn out this way, they were never meant to get this bad. And I only had myself to blame.

“I’m so sorry, Mama,” I whispered into the wind as I stared out at the small apartment. “I’m so sorry. I hate living like this, but I don’t know how to make it better. Please, if you’re listening, I need you to give me a chance to make it all better.” I looked up at the sky, clouds blocking the stars. I wished I could see them, maybe just for a little sign that she could hear me.

I sniffed and stepped back into the shadows as a car turned onto the street. I’d been there long enough. I scuffed my feet as I headed back to the hotel, my heart sunken and distressed. Losing my mom had sparked the search for my real dad, a dad my mother had spent my entire life hiding me from.

Unfortunately, I was too curious and the hole I found myself in was more like a grave.

When you’ve done the worst. When you’ve hurt people because of the choices you made. When you are falling and falling, and finding your footing seems impossible, where do you turn to?

Who do you turn to?

For the first time in my life, I wondered if this was it. Was this how I was meant to live? Regretting my life choices and never moving forward? Never having a family at my back?

If it was, maybe I had to consider whether this was how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

Because I don’t think I could.