Blogger Girl (16 page)

Suddenly, I was no longer thinking about Hannah. I was thinking about being in bed with Nicholas. Had I shot myself in the foot by telling him I didn’t want to be his fuck buddy? I
really
wanted to sleep with him again! Now that I made my feelings clear, he would either continue to pursue me or cut his losses. And if it was the latter, I couldn’t retract my statement and bed him anyway. He’d lose all respect for me and I’d lose all respect for myself. I was screwed. Or rather, time would tell if I’d be screwed. I removed the journal he bought me from my coffee table and ran my hands up and down the silk bound cover waiting for inspiration to hit. I wondered how long it would take Hannah to fill the journal with notes for her next novel.

And just like that, I was back to thinking about Hannah. I looked up towards my ceiling, threw my hands in the air and exclaimed, “Oy vey!”

I EYED THE LAST BITE
of my rib eye steak sandwich. I was seriously tempted to clean my plate, but already felt the need to pull my gray pencil skirt down past my hips so I could breathe again.

“Just do it, Kim,” David said.

I looked over at him and he smiled. “You know you want to finish it.”

I rubbed my belly. “I do. But I’m so full!” I glanced at Rob’s plate. He left half a tuna steak uneaten. “Seriously, Rob. You’re making the rest of us look like pigs!”

Rob tossed his napkin on the plate. “I’ve lost ten pounds over the past six months. Don’t want to gain it back over the course of one lunch.”

Rob had always been fit, but ever since he married his second and significantly younger wife, he had become obsessed. Considering his lunches usually consisted of yogurt, an apple and maybe half a turkey sandwich, I was happy he hadn’t ordered the Farmers Market Salad with balsamic vinegar. “Well, as long as you saved some room for dessert.”

“I always save room for dessert,” Rob said assuredly.

“No sorbet either!” Standing up, I said, “Excuse me. I need to use the ladies’ room.” At both firms where I had worked with Rob, whenever our group took someone in the department out for his or her birthday, one of us (usually me) had to slickly tell the waiter. And then the birthday boy or girl had to pretend to be surprised when the waiter brought over a piece of birthday cake and we all started singing “Happy Birthday.”

After I tracked down our waiter, I went to the bathroom, ran a brush through my hair and reapplied my lip gloss. When I returned to the table, all of the plates had been removed.

Rob cleared his throat. “Now that my right hand is back, I’d like to make an announcement.”

Another one of Rob’s famous announcements. I chuckled and glanced at David. He gave me a knowing look and flashed me a wide grin. I covered my mouth with my hand in an effort not to laugh.

“What’s so funny, Long?” Rob asked accusingly.

I bit my lip and looked at Rob with wide eyes. “Absolutely nothing. Unless you’re gonna tell us about the time the electricity went out during your trial and even the backup generators didn’t work. And how the lights went back on just as someone from the other side was about to abscond with your exhibits, and your junior associate was held in contempt of court for wrestling him to the ground. That’s a funny story.” I paused dramatically. “No matter how many times you tell it.”

Rob calmly nodded at me with his lips pursed. “Okay then. Well, I was
going
to thank my lovely assistant for organizing a wonderful 29
^th
birthday lunch for me. But since my assistant isn’t lovely and it’s my 54
^th
birthday, I think I’ll skip the thank you and announce that I’ve hired a lateral associate who will be starting next week.”

I jerked my head back in surprise. I was generally kept in the loop on these things, especially since I was usually responsible for scheduling interviews, yet this was the first I’d heard of a new hire. “What’s his name?”

“
Her
name is Daneen. She’s a third year coming to us from Cravath. Solid background in trademark litigation. She’ll be working closely with Nicholas on the Soap case.”

I looked over at Nicholas to see his reaction to this new information but he was nodding at Rob and didn’t look at all surprised. Then he looked my way and winked.

When our eyes locked, I felt my body flood with warmth and forced myself to look away. I still had no idea what the previous weekend had meant to him and I was trying to pretend I didn’t care either way.
Even though I did. Of course.
I turned to David. “How are the wedding plans coming along?”

His cheeks glowing, David said, “Amy is already looking into venues. I wanted us to enjoy being engaged for a while before getting too caught up in wedding plans, but she’s so excited that I’m just letting her run with it.”

“That’s so cool! We should get drinks or something to celebrate one night.” Although I was genuinely happy for David and his upcoming nuptials, I couldn’t shake off a feeling of discomfort about Rob hiring Daneen without even telling me. In all of the years we’d worked together, Rob had made me feel like an important member of his team, telling me all the big news before almost anyone else, but suddenly I felt like an outsider, a measly secretary.

Rob had moved across the table to sit next to Nicholas. Their heads were bent towards each other and they were talking in hushed voices until the waiter brought over our coffees and cappuccinos. After we sang, “Happy Birthday,” Rob returned to his own seat and I whispered, “How come this is the first I’ve heard about Daneen?”

Rob widened his eyes. “I didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head and frowned. I was surprised and embarrassed by how upset I was about this. I pushed the remains of my chocolate cake around my plate.

“I’m sorry, Kim. We didn’t go through regular channels with this one. In fact, we weren’t even looking for anyone but she’s a major coup. Comes highly recommended with trial experience beyond her three years.” Looking genuinely apologetic, he said, “Didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

“Well, that’s great then.” Trying to shrug off the insecurity that had caught me off guard, I enthusiastically added, “Congrats!”

“Thanks, Long. It’s good for the squad. And stealing an associate from Cravath is certainly an added benefit.” He gave me a cocky smile.

“Who’s her secretary?” So far, Rob had avoided sharing me with anyone else but I was the only secretary at the firm with only one assignment and I knew it wouldn’t last forever.

“We’re still working out the details.” Rob looked at his watch. “Time to get back. Time is money, folks!”

The best part of “taking” Rob out for his birthday was that he expensed it and after he signed the bill, he put his credit card back in his wallet and stood up.

Everyone quickly followed suit and began gathering up their things to head back to work.

As we waited to cross Park Avenue to our building across the street, Nicholas came up behind me. “Nice job on the lunch, Kim.”

I turned to face him with a knowing grin. “Thanks! I’m the preeminent reservation maker.”

Nicholas winked. “And don’t you forget it! What are you doing tonight?”

“Don’t know yet. Laundry?”

When the light changed to green, we walked side by side to the opposite side of the street. I was dying to know why Nicholas asked about my plans for the evening. In hindsight, I could have said something much cooler in response than “doing laundry”, but at least it was honest. We stopped walking when we reached the sidewalk and trailed behind the others who went directly inside the building.

“Well, I don’t know if I could top laundry, but if you have enough underwear to last an extra day, want to get a bite after work?”

I narrowed my eyes at him and joked, “Is ‘bite’ a euphemism for something?”

Nicholas gave me a lazy smile. “No, it’s not.”

“Well then count me in. Assuming I ever get my appetite back.”

“Excellent.” He held the door open for me and as I walked through it ahead of him, I tried to wipe the giant smile off of my face.

***

As I sat next to Nicholas at the bar at the South Pacific themed The Hurricane Club later that evening, I felt overdressed. Not only because I was wearing a buttoned up long sleeve white silk blouse in the presence of scantily clad, cleavage-bearing women, but because I was overheating. The upscale bar was crowded and so our stools were right on top of each other, and I hoped I wouldn’t break out in a sweat simply from being in such close quarters with him. The last time we had been so close was in his bed. I pushed a hair behind my ear and angled my body toward him.

Nicholas pointed at the plate of fish tacos. “Do you want the last one?” As with all trendy restaurants in New York City, appetizers and small plates always came in odd numbers.

“You can have it. I’m still digesting my steak sandwich from lunch.”

Nicholas smiled and shoved the taco in his mouth in one bite.

Laughing, I said, “What would you have done if I wanted the last one?”

“I would have let you have it, of course.”

I nodded. “Good to know.”

“And then I would have ordered another plate.” When Nicholas looked down at an incoming message on his phone, I took the opportunity to unbutton my top button. I’d have dressed less corporate and more sexy had I known we’d be going out after work, especially to a restaurant packed with fabulous looking women.

“Sorry about that,” Nicholas said pushing his phone away. “The Soap case is killing me.” Squinting his eyes, Nicholas said, “Did you do something different?”

I took a sip of rum from my hollowed out coconut. “What do you mean?”

“You look different.”

Shrugging, I took another sip.

“I got it.”

“You got what?”

“You unbuttoned your blouse, didn’t you?”

My face burning, I said, “Oh, that. Yeah, it’s hot in here. Right?”

Nicholas shook his head at me and smiled. “
Riiight.
”

“Knock it off!” I laughed, knowing I was busted.

“I love how the girl who doesn’t want a strictly sexual relationship is undressing in the bar.”

“I’m not undressing!” I whipped my head around hoping no one was listening to our conversation. “I just feel a bit overdressed in here compared to some of the other girls.”

“What other girls?”

I cocked my head to the side.
“Please.”

Nicholas laughed. Then his phone went off and I watched his brow furrow as he read the text and typed a response.

Looking up at me, he frowned and said, “Kim, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to go back to the office after these drinks.”

I felt my stomach drop in disappointment but adopted a poker face. “No worries. Glamorous life of an associate, right?”

Nicholas ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “We’re so understaffed for this case, Kimmie. I’m doing junior associate work because there’s no one else available.”

“That new attorney is starting next week though, right?”

His face brightening, Nicholas said, “Yeah, Daneen. Thank God. Should take a load off my back.”

“Have you met her?” I still felt a lump in my throat about being the last to know about her.

“Yeah. Rob wanted me involved in the interview process since we’ll be working so closely.” Giving me a wry smile, he said, “Although I have a feeling he would have hired her regardless of what I thought.”

“What do you think of her?”
Is she pretty? Nice body?

Nicholas took a final swig of his drink. “She seems nice.” Shrugging he said, “She’s supposedly a good lawyer. That’s really all I care about.”

I had a feeling that meant she wasn’t pretty and she didn’t have a nice body and I felt a rush of relief flow through my body. “Good then. Rob said she’s highly recommended.” I removed my coconut from the bar and took one last sip before putting it down and looking back at Nicholas. “I’m ready when you are.”

Eyeing my cup, he said, “We can stay until you’re finished. No reason you should be cheated out of a full drink.”

“No worries. I’m finished.”

Nicholas motioned for the bartender and asked him to close out our tab. After he signed the bill, we got up and silently walked out of the bar. When we got outside, we stood on the sidewalk before parting ways since I would be taking the subway in one direction and he needed to walk in the other to get back to the office.

Fiddling with my necklace, I said, “Thanks for the drink and apps.”

Nicholas smiled and took a step closer to me. “My pleasure. I’m sorry it got cut short. I promise to make it up to you.”

“No worries.” I consciously forced myself to stop tapping my heel on the sidewalk as I realized I had now uttered the phrase “no worries” three times that night. I assumed he probably picked up on it too. I felt incredibly awkward standing there wondering if I was supposed to just say, “Bye” and leave like this was nothing more than a drink between colleagues or if I was supposed to wait for him to kiss me like this was the end of a date.

As if reading my mind, Nicholas leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against mine.

Before I had a chance to react, he had stepped back. “See you bright and early tomorrow.” With a crooked smile, he added, “Although depending on how late I work tonight, I might not feel too bright and it won’t be that early.”

Still tasting his lips on mine, I smiled back. “Don’t work too hard.”

With a final wave, I turned and walked away. And I wondered when and if he’d really make it up to me.

IT TURNED OUT
I didn’t have to wait long for Nicholas to make things up to me. Although the only time I saw him the day after our half-assed date was when I brought his and Rob’s lunch order from Seamless Web into the conference room and he smiled at me from behind very tired looking eyes, he came by my desk as I was getting my stuff together to leave for the weekend. When he asked if I was around on Saturday night, I quickly dismissed the option of playing “The Rules” and told him I was free.