Blood Bond (PULSE, Book 5) (19 page)

“Octavius, I don't
want
children! I'm eighteen, not thirty!”

“You speak as if there is a great chasm between those two ages. But I am nearly twenty-one centuries old. The years you speak of are like dust in an hourglass to me. I will always love you, Kalina. But my life is no life for you. For anyone.” Kalina could hear the sorrow in his voice, and as she stood before him, she felt her heart breaking.

No – this wasn't how this was supposed to go. This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all! The moment she turned a vampire was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life. Instead, Kalina felt a grief in her heart so deep it almost paralyzed her.

“Darling?” Stuart entered, the smile still wide on his face.

Octavius turned and went over to Stuart, clapping him on the shoulder. “I wish you all the best, my boy,” he said. “Be good to her – as she has been good to you. I want you to go back to Rutherford, both of you. Max and I can follow the Carriers on our own – with Jaegar, if he is willing. Her blood and my strength – now that we have the rubies, we no longer need to fight in such great numbers. And once you and Kalina marry, and consummate that union, the Life's Blood will cease to be as strong. Fewer vampires will seek you out – and those that do, you will be able to easily fight off. Live the life you deserve – both of you.”

Stuart and Octavius embraced one another – as family, as friends, at last.

Max walked over to Kalina.

“How are you feeling?” Max said. “I know that face – that's not the face of true love, is it?”

Kalina said nothing. This woman – her mother or not – barely knew her! How could she know what Kalina was feeling or not feeling. “It's complicated,” said Kalina.

“It always is,” said Max. “Stuart is a good man. Was a good vampire. I don't imagine he'll treat you unkindly – not ever. He’ll cherish you for as long as he lives. If that's enough for you, then so be it. But...I waited a long time for your father. He fought in the Consortium too.”

Kalina's ears pricked up. This was the first time she had heard tell of her biological father.

“Like Octavius, he believed that he would never turn. That there was too much to be accomplished. Then one day – it was time...and Constantine put down his sword and never looked back.”

“But it's too late,” Kalina's lips trembled. “I already turned Stuart. That's it – right?”

“But he's not the only vampire you've turned, is he? Stuart told me about Jaegar.”

“But it didn't work,” Kalina said. “It didn't count then – he turned back.”

Max looked skeptical. “In all my years as a Carrier,” she said. “I've never heard of a vampire turning back. It's impossible. Once you're a human, you're a human. That's it.”

“But Jaegar...”

“You'd have to ask him,” said Max. “Your blood is not like my blood. It's enhanced. Your powers are greater than mine. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to turn two vampires –
or three
.”

“You think I turned...”

“Never doubt your powers, Kalina,” said Max. “And don't give up too soon. Your father turned. He was a great Emperor once – an earthly emperor. And then a great general vampire. And then a great man.”

She turned away.

“Emperor...Constantine?” Kalina put it all together. “
The
Roman Emperor Constantine?”

Max said nothing. At last she turned to Kalina. “I don't know how to do this,” she said simply. “I'm not maternal by nature. I don't do bonding. But you're a strong girl, Kalina. And I've given you good advice. It's up to you to take it. And I have no doubt that whatever you want – be it a vampire or be it anything else – you'll be able to get it. Just don't settle for anything less.”

And with that, Max vanished, leaving Kalina alone and utterly confused. What did Max mean about turning Jaegar? Had she turned Jaegar after all? Could her blood work on more than one vampire? And why was she so reluctant to give her answers?

“I'm going to find Jaegar,” said Kalina to Stuart. “To say goodbye.”

She left the room, calling Jaegar's name softly. But he was nowhere to be found. She searched the upstairs, the labyrinthine rows of chambers upon chambers, the rafters and the closets, but she could find no sign of him.

“Jaegar?” she called out loud. Then she tried telepathy:
Jaegar?

But there was no answer – only silence. It was as if the bond between them had been broken. Kalina felt a sudden pang as it hit her. Jaegar wasn't there at all. He had gone – severing their bonds of telepathy. Wherever he was, he didn't want her to be able to reach him.

Kalina felt a strange lump in her throat. How could Jaegar leave like that? She knew she had hurt him deeply – more deeply than she could ever have thought possible. She had pursued him in the woods, promised him her love, and then turned his brother...

But she hadn't meant to – she hadn't been thinking. She was so upset over Justin, so worried, wanting nothing but to save Stuart in the moment...

And she still loved Jaegar. It was clearer to her now than it had ever been, as she desperately called his name one last time, her words echoing back to her from the rafters.

She came out into the courtyard, but she knew the attempt was futile. She picked up a stone and angrily threw it into the pond, all the while knowing that the ripples would do little to assuage her frustration. But as the pond rippled, a small tin box floated to the surface, shimmering in the noon light.

She felt her blood calling to her once more.
It's yours, Kalina. Take it.

Kalina stepped forth. The box seemed to be glowing just for her, beckoning her forth. She knelt and reached out for the box. As her fingertips brushed its edges, she felt a sudden, swift breeze come upon her.

“Jaegar?” She looked up.

But there was nobody there.

Kalina took a closer look at the books. There, in Chinese characters she made out from hazy memory of childhood language classes, she recognized the name of the great doctor from whose laboratory Life's Blood had come.

This was his box.

And now it was hers.

Epilogue

T
here had been a great feast. Once they had arrived back in Rutherford, Justin had insisted on cooking an enormous meal for Kalina and Stuart, eager to ensure that Stuart was able to sample all of his favorite dishes. Steak and chicken, pork and fish, and copious amounts of chocolate had all made their way into their collective bellies. Stuart had taken to humanity with glee. Already he had been a human for far longer than Jaegar had been before he had turned back (
if
he had turned back, Kalina wondered), and it was clear that there were no signs that he would return to his vampire state. It had been a while since Kalina had been in California – she had not been back since leaving for her ill-fated Yale orientation – and she was happy to be back once more among its soft breezes and scented vines.

Stuart's happiness buoyed her own. She  loved seeing him smile, watching him eat and drink. She had even gone with him to church that Sunday, and watched with pride as Stuart took his first human communion in seven hundred years.

“Back when I was alive,” Stuart had said excitedly. “There were only Catholics. But now there's Protestants here in America – and they allow for married priests!” He spoke excitedly of the option of attending seminary in California, studying to become a pastor as he had wanted to do seven hundred years before.

Justin had gone home to finish unpacking, and Kalina and Stuart were left alone together in the vineyard house. It was their first night alone together as a true couple, and Kalina knew as well as Stuart did what that entailed. It would be the end of Kalina's Life's Blood powers of restoration – although the other powers would likely remain.

Not that Kalina was sure what to expect. Her teeth transformed into protruding fangs at inopportune moments; her pallor was so noticeable that a few of her high school friends, upon running into her in the street, stopped her to ask if she was ill. She was, in every sense, looking more and more like a vampire. The sun had started to make her feel queasy, although luckily it did not blister her skin.

And worst of all were the cravings. She would wake up in the middle of the night with a strange and unquenchable desire for blood – Stuart's, Justin's, anyone.

But seeing Stuart stare at her with his kind, puppy-dog eyes, Kalina couldn't help but feel guilty. How could she settle down, end her quest, when she had so many questions unanswered?

Stuart came over to her and pulled her close in a kiss. “I can't believe I'm here,” he whispered. “With you. I've wanted this so long. And when I thought you loved Jaegar, I figured I'd have to wait until the next Carrier. But here we are...”

“Here we are...” Kalina's lips trembled.

“I was thinking we'd get married in the spring.”

“
Married?”
The word sounded strange in Kalina's mouth. “Married – now?”

“We could live here, in the vineyard.” Stuart stroked Kalina's face. “I want to get started right away. Two kids, maybe three.”

Kalina felt as if her heart had just stopped. “Hold on, there,” she said. “Stuart, what about Yale?”

“Ah, yes, that. I suppose I could move to New Haven for a while – we could get an apartment off-campus. Yale has a good divinity school, I hear...”

Images of Kalina's college life flashed before her eyes – taking Advanced Art History while pregnant, foregoing dormitories and friendships for a little house in Connecticut. “Can't we...wait? At least until I graduate.”

“But why?” Stuart's eyes were so wide, so eager. “I love you and you love me and we're meant for each other. Haven't we waited long enough?”

He kissed her deeply, his mouth meeting hers. “I've waited so long...” His hands were upon her, pulling at her clothes, hungry as they led her towards the bed...

And Kalina could stand it no longer. “No!” she cried, pushing him away so roughly that he fell over onto the bed. “No!”

She looked down in shock at what she had done. She was so used to being with vampires, to matching her strength to theirs, that she had misjudged her strength. Stuart was a human now, and she could knock him over like a feather.

“What's wrong? You don't want to...”

“No, I don't,” said Kalina miserably.  “Stuart – I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...I don't want to take away your humanity. I don't want you to lose that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“If I don't love you enough you'll lose your humanity – right?”

“That's ridiculous! Who told you that?”

“Well, it happened to Jaegar...”

“Ah,” Stuart stepped back. “Jaegar.”

“What about Jaegar? Everybody knows something but me – what happened to Jaegar?”

“I don't know,” Stuart said quickly, but she knew he was lying. He was covering something up. There was something about Jaegar's turning that she didn't know. “Kalina – you loved me enough to turn me human. But...”

“My blood did,” said Kalina. “My blood decided to turn you. But what I feel – what
I
want. That's different.”

“And you don't want me?” Stuart looked aghast.

“I don't want
this
,” said Kalina. “Marriage. Children. Spending my college years in a dorm for young-marrieds. Being with one person for the rest of my life. Having sex with someone I'm not sure about...”