Blood Born (20 page)

“Don’t be. You couldn’t help it.” He brought his eyes back to me, the green in them hypnotic.

“Yes I could.” Now I was the one who broke our gaze, ashamed of myself more than ever. “I could have stayed away from you. And from Kayla. But I chose to put both of you in danger by sticking around. So yeah, I could’ve helped it.”

Chance smiled. “Always the martyr, huh? You love trying to take the blame for everything that’s happened to you. Why can’t you just accept the fact that bad things happen to good people?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well hello, Mr. Cliché. Nice of you to stop by.” Chance laughed with me, and things felt normal again between us. Well, as normal as possible between a human and vampire.

“Cute,” he whispered with a smile. “Cliché or not, I’m for real. You need to cut yourself some slack, Ava. I think you’ve handled things pretty well.”

“If you say so.” I smiled back at him, just having him close was making me feel worlds better. I still felt like I wanted to die, but having him there reminded me that I wasn’t, that I was very much alive. He kept brushing my hair with his hand, neither of us saying a word. We didn’t need to; the silence between us was far from awkward anymore. It was nice.

But as I lay there looking up at him, his face grew somber. I watched the happiness slowly fade from his eyes, replaced by worry and dread. I knew he was thinking of something bad, and I really didn’t want to know what it was, but I asked anyway.

“What’s wrong?”.

“There’s something you have to do,” he finally said. “Something you
need
to do.” His eyes were dark, the light normally found there gone. Whatever it was that I had to do was something he didn’t like. Before I had time to ask, he blurted it out.

“You need to eat.” I knew what he meant by “eat”, and it wasn’t a ham sandwich.

“I can’t,” I said, closing my eyes. Images of blood and sounds of screaming filled my mind.

“You have to, Ava. What happened can never happen again.”

“I know it can’t. I don’t intend to let it happen again.” And I meant that. Even if I had to stay away from Kayla for the rest of my life (or the rest of hers, since I was immortal) no way was I going to hurt her ever again.

“You can’t guarantee that. Not yet, anyway. You’ve never fed. Not on
living
blood. And until you do, that need to is always going to be there, controlling you.”

“It doesn’t control me. I don’t let it.” I knew as I said it that it was a lie. Well, a
half
lie. Sometimes I could overpower the urge, but today had proved me wrong.

“Once you do it, you’ll be able to focus on what you have to do without always being distracted.” It was like he had stepped inside my mind and read my thoughts. The bloodlust
was
becoming a distraction, especially since he and I were getting closer. The fact that he knew it was weird, though.

“Are you a mind reader or something?” I asked him, trying to sound like I wasn’t constantly thinking about what blood might taste like.

Chance laughed. “No, I’m not a mind reader. I’ve just been around vampires more than you. Even new ones.” He said the word vampire without wincing, but I could tell it still bothered him.

“You’ve been around vampires before me?”

“Yes.” It was a simple word that held volumes of meaning. The secret he had been keeping from me, the thing he most didn’t want me to know.

“So that’s it,” I whispered, gazing off into the sparse room as my mind put the pieces together. “That’s what you’ve been hiding.”

Chance moved his hand from my face, my skin instantly missing his touch. “No,” he answered, moving away from my bed. “That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

“Let’s not do this again, Ava. Please. Not now.”

“Why not? Why won’t you tell me?”

“Look.” He moved back in next to me, resting his hand on top of mine. “I promise I will tell you everything when the time is right. You just have to trust that.” Again he was right. I couldn’t be sure before now, before what had happened today, but now, I had no more doubts. I could trust him completely, and I did.

“Okay,” I said with a resigned smile. I wanted desperately to know what secret he was keeping from me—a secret that involved a history with vampires—but I wanted to not hurt or upset him even more. So I once again let it go. “So,” I went on, changing the subject, “now you’re what, an expert on vampires?”

“Compared to you? Absolutely.” He actually laughed as he grabbed the chair he had been sleeping in when I woke up and pulled it close to my bed. He sat down and leaned in next to me. “Now, we can spend the rest of the night arguing, or you can just agree with me and get the inevitable over with.” He flashed that charming smile of his, softly rubbing my fingers with his own. The heat from his touch ran up my arm and straight to my head, swimming around with the scent of his blood and making me blissfully lightheaded.

“So now what?” Even though I didn’t want to give Chance the satisfaction of being right, he was. I did need to feed, or eat, or whatever it was called. I needed to get the desire for blood out of the way so I could concentrate on reaching the suddenly overwhelming goal of killing a hundred vampires. Chance didn’t say anything as he locked his eyes on mine and slowly brought his arm up to my mouth. I looked from his face to his wrist, which was inches from my mouth and pulsing with the beat of his heart.

“No way,” I said, trying to push his arm away from me. He held it there in front of my face, the muscles in his forearm and bicep bulging beneath the skin.

“You have to, Ava. This is the only way.”

“No, I won’t do it.” I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at the delicious vein thumping in front of me. I could see flashes of Chance writhing on the floor in pain with blood shooting from his wrist—exactly what would happen if I bit him. No way would I ever allow that.

“
Avaline
,” he said, knowing calling me that would get me going. “Look at me.” I reluctantly opened my eyes, his wrist the first thing I saw.

“Chance, don’t make me do this, please.” I was begging for his mercy, but the entire time, my eyes were locked on his wrist. Without even realizing it, I had cupped his arm in my hands and was holding it closer to my mouth.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I won’t let you take too much.” How did he know that? How did he know so much about the monster I was rapidly becoming? I finally looked over at his face, his eyes trying to relax me. Normally staring at their brilliant green hue worked, but I was too wound up this time. Chance’s way was the
only
way to move on.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Just do it.” He lifted his arm and brought it to my lips, the heat from his skin strong and resilient. All the thoughts I had about what the moment would be like—the moment I drank human blood for the first time—paled in comparison to what it actually felt like. All of my emotions were crashing into each other as I unsheathed my fangs and brought Chance’s wrist to my open mouth. I couldn’t look at him again, fearful that I would see his hesitation or regret. I didn’t want to bite him, to feed from him, but I also didn’t
not
want to. More than anything, I wanted to feel his blood flow into my mouth and fill me completely. So before I could talk myself out if it, I closed my eyes and sank my fangs into the bronzed skin of his wrist.

2

Chance’s blood flooded my mouth like a tidal wave, crashing into every crevice with its mesmerizing taste. My fangs were on fire with lust, drinking copious amounts of blood as fast as they could. I could hear faint moans coming from Chance, but I didn’t look at him. All I wanted was more of his sweet blood. I drank and drank, my mind floating in a cloudy haze of euphoria. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for how wonderful it tasted, how perfect it made me feel. At that moment, I realized I had been fighting what was the most real part of me: the vampire that I was destined to become.

“That’s enough, Ava.” I heard Chance’s words but didn’t hear them. My mind wouldn’t allow his voice to penetrate the experience of my first feeding. All it wanted was the pleasure I was feeling to never end, so it chose to ignore him. I gripped harder onto his arm and sank my teeth in further, Chance’s words quickly turning to cries of pain as his blood was slowly being replaced with my venom.

“Ava, stop!” I could hear his pain, could feel it coursing through his dying veins, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t human at that moment, the vampire inside taking complete control of my body and my mind. I was killing him, I knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself—I didn’t want to.

Chance finally managed to pull his arm away from my mouth, my fangs tearing his skin as he did. My body felt the void immediately, pulling me from the bed with super speed. Chance had managed to make it across the room before I was on him. I grabbed his shoulder and threw him backwards, his body slamming into the wall on the other side of the room.

“Ava,” I heard him cry out, slowly pulling himself up. “Don’t—” I didn’t wait for him to say anything else. I sprang forward with an unrelenting fury.

But something stopped me. A very bright and powerful light hit me like a freight train, sending me flying back against the wall. The pain was overwhelming, even with my vampire senses in charge. I couldn’t move, could barely breathe as I struggled to stand. My eyes burned with pain and my body felt like it was on fire. I somehow managed to stand up, using the wall for support. The taste of Chance’s blood was still very powerful, coursing through my veins like fire, and I wanted more of it. I forced my eyes to open, and the first thing I saw was Chance standing across the room from me, blood dripping from his wrist.

“Ava,” he said, his voice calm and soothing. “Control yourself. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I’m in total control,” I answered him, my fangs still dripping with his blood. “And I know exactly what I’m doing.” I lunged forward again, growling like a wild animal hungry for his blood. That powerful, electric-charged light hit me again, but this time, as I flew across the room, I saw where it came from. Chance.

I crashed into the far wall again. Somehow my mind managed to overpower the vampire within me and I felt my fangs retract into my gums. The bloodlust that was normally so apparent seemed to finally be satisfied, and I was able to focus on what had just happened. I jumped up, totally ignoring the pain I felt from being tossed like a rag doll, and looked at Chance. He was standing motionless across the room, his hands held out in front of him. His right arm was covered with blood, still oozing from the wound on his wrist. But my mind wasn’t focused on the blood. I was looking at his hands. They were
glowing
.

“Ava?” His voice was trembling, fear lacing his words.

“It’s me,” I answered, my breath ragged. “I’m okay.” Chance lowered his hands and walked over to me. I kept my eyes locked on his, my mind spinning with confusion. What just happened? What was that light? And more importantly, how did it come from him?

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I answered. “I don’t think so.” I did a quick check for anything out of the ordinary with my body. No broken bones, no open wounds—all good. “What the hell was that?”

“I-I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Chance said. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“Wait, so you
knew
you could do that? That, whatever it was?” I was even more shocked that the electric light that flowed from his hands was of his own doing. I thought it had been like some sort of unexpected power surge or something. But he did it on purpose? Now I was completely freaked out.

“Yeah, I did. I’ve been able to my whole life.” Chance kept looking from my face to my arms and legs, obviously searching for any signs that he had hurt me. I would’ve found his concern sweet—and overbearing, of course—any other time. But right then, I wanted to scream.

“So you’ve had this weird, light power thing all this time and you didn’t bother to tell me? You know, the half-vampire girl you dug out of the ground?” I knew I was probably overreacting, but I was too upset to stop. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know why,” Chance said, walking away from me. “It’s not like I go around telling people ‘Hey, I’m Chance, I’m a Healer’.”

“A
Healer
?”

“Yeah. That’s what I am. A Healer.” He walked back over to me then, his face twisted with embarrassment and fear. I knew he was afraid I was going to laugh or make fun or tell everybody or something, which I would never do.

“What does that mean?”

“Just what it sounds like. I heal people.”

I was shocked with how forthcoming he was being considering all the energy he had spent trying to keep me in the dark. “Were you born this way or—”

“Was I turned like you? No. I was born this way. My dad was one.” I got a sense of sadness from him when he mentioned his dad. I didn’t want to make the situation more uncomfortable for him, so I moved on.

“So, are you like a god or something? Like, an
immortal
?”

“No,” he answered, his words barely a whisper. “I’m all human. I’m just
special
, according to my mom.” A tiny smile crossed his face as he said it.

“How young were you when you found out you could do this?”

“I don’t know, five or six maybe. My dog was hit by a car when I was a kid, and when I started petting him, my hands lit up and got really hot and all of a sudden he jumped up and started licking my face. I knew then that there was something different about me.” Well that explained why he was always so warm to the touch, why he produced so much of that alluring heat. He was basically a walking power source. I watched his eyes light up as he recalled the memory of that day.

“So you saved your dog’s life?”

“I guess I did. And I totally freaked my mom out when I told her about it. She said that she had hoped I wouldn’t turn out like my dad, that I would be normal. She’s never been the same since.”

“So is that why she was so cool with me moving in?” Chance nodded in agreement. “Is she scared of you or something?”

“She’s only scared of how I might end up, what might happen to me.” He reluctantly moved toward me, obviously still unsure if I was completely myself again. The smell of his blood grew stronger with each step he took.

“And how’s that?” I asked, suddenly afraid of what he might say—and of how close he was getting.

“My father went crazy and had to be institutionalized. She thinks I’ll end up like that.” So that was why he didn’t like to talk about his dad.

“And you don’t?” I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest.

“No, I don’t,” he answered confidently. “My dad didn’t want this, but I do. I like being a Healer. He didn’t.” I could feel energy and heat emanating from him.

“You like it?”

“Yeah. I like being able to help people.” His eyes lowered a bit, and some of the happiness left his face. “But I can’t help you.”

When he said that, many of my questions about him were answered. Why he had such a short temper. Why he couldn’t stand the fact I was a vampire. Why he could barely
say
the word vampire. It was because he so desperately wanted to help me—to
heal
me—and he couldn’t. It was like he couldn’t do for me the one thing he could do for everyone else. My heart broke for him.

“So this is what you’ve been hiding from me all this time?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, believe me. I couldn’t, literally.” I watched his chest rise and fall, the rhythm of his breath soothing and inviting. I suddenly had to ignore the desire to reach out and touch the exposed skin just below the hollow of his neck.

“Why not?” I squeaked out, flustered.

“Because we’re not allowed to reveal what we truly are.” His voice was deep and gravelly. “Unless we have to, of course.”

Guilt flooded me. “Yeah, sorry,” I murmured, embarrassed by what had just happened, what I had almost done to him.

“It’s okay, really. It was my fault. I should have warned you that might happen.”

“Why didn’t you?” I felt my heart thumping in my throat, but I was unclear if it was because of the smell of his blood still dripping onto the floor, or if it was because he was only inches away from me and I was getting lightheaded.

“Would you have still fed on me if I had?”

“Point taken.” I forced myself to move away from him, crossing the room and pretending to make the bed. “So are you gonna be in trouble or something? You know, for revealing who you are?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think it’s ever happened before.” I fumbled with the sheets on the bed, and Chance—being the chivalrous guy he is—quickly stepped in and helped me finish. “But it doesn’t matter if I am. It was worth it.” We stood on opposite sides of the now-made bed, staring at each other. I could almost feel the imaginary line connecting us, keeping us always in each other’s orbit.

“Wow.” My suddenly overwhelming emotions were beating against my head, my chest, desperate to be released. “So, um, what exactly is a Healer?”

“Well.” He broke our gaze and sat down on the bed. Without realizing what I was doing, I sat down across from him. “To make a
really
long story short, Healers were created to protect humans from vampires.”

“So people know vampires exist?” Chance nodded. I felt like I had just stepped into an entirely new world, a world where I was clueless about its customs and beliefs. I guess, in a way, I had. “How long?”

“Always,” Chance said. “I don’t know much about the history, but Healers have been protecting humans for centuries. That’s our entire purpose. We do whatever it takes to make sure people don’t become victims to vampires.”

“Is this why you’ve been putting up with the horrible way Aldric treats you, because you’re trying to protect me from him?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to do that for me.”

“Of course I do, Ava. I was
created
for that very reason. That’s why I have this gift.” I knew Chance was getting frustrated, so I quickly changed gears.

“So who created Healers?”

“I don’t really know. My dad didn’t fill me in on everything. I kind of just know the basics. I know I’m supposed to stop vampires.” A tiny flash of sadness rolled over his face. “Sometimes I do, other times I don’t.” I knew instantly the true meaning hiding behind his words.

“Chance,” I said, moving quickly to sit next to him. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself for what happened to me.”

“How can I not, Ava? I’m supposed to protect people.
You
. But I didn’t. I didn’t do the one thing I was born to do.” I could feel the sadness he was harboring, deep and painful beneath his skin.

“Listen,” I said. “You’re human, right?”

“Completely.”

“Then you should know that humans aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. They get over it. That simple.”

“
They
?” He looked deeply at me then, his eyes full of that dark sadness.

“What?”

“You said ‘they.’ Like you’re not one. Like you’re not human.” I hadn’t realized I said it. But now that he called me on it, I knew that somewhere inside me, I must have believed it to be true.

“I don’t feel very human right now,” I answered honestly. Chance stared at me, his eyes full of compassion and understanding. Maybe he really understood how I was feeling. Maybe he had felt different all his life, too, like he was a freak stuck in a world of normal. Knowing his secret changed how I saw him. Somehow, he became even
more
human to me. He took my hand into his, lifting it slowly to his chest.

“You feel that?” he asked, keeping my hand pressed against his hot skin. The strong, hypnotic thrum of his heart pulsed into my hand, and I felt that sweet dizziness all over again.

“Yes,” I said. “But I can feel your heart beating even without touching you.” But I didn’t pull my hand away. I wanted to touch him. It felt right. He kept my hand pressed against his chest for a moment before pulling it away, moving it to my own chest and holding it there.

“Now, do you feel
that
?” And I did. It was faint, and not nearly as enticing as his, but it was there. My heartbeat. Proof that I was still alive.