Blood Legacy (PULSE Vampire Series #6) (7 page)

“Octavius,” she whispered softly. “What happened? I was falling.” She was shaking from the cold, from the lack of blood.

“I caught you,” his lips nudged against her ear, brushing it lightly and sending a shiver down her spine. “I’ll always catch you, Kalina.”

“But we were so high up…I fell so far…” She opened her eyes, dizzy as she looked about herself. They were surrounded by snow – snowflakes that glimmered in the full moonlight.

“Before you hit the ground, I caught you.” He nuzzled her gently, pressing his lips to her dark, shining hair. Small flecks of snow were caught between the fine, silky strands – like a crown of stars in a dark night sky.

“Where are we?” They were at the bottom of an enormous mountain whose peak stretched all the way into, it seemed, the clouds.

“The hotel was at the top of this mountain,” said Octavius. “We’re all the way at the bottom.”

Kalina shivered, but she didn’t feel cold. How could she feel anything but safe when Octavius was around? He sat beneath a tall pine tree, pulling her into his lap. Kalina nuzzled into him, feeling his soft cashmere sweater against her skin.

“Oh, my Kal,” Octavius smiled softly. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again. You’re okay – don’t be scared. You’re fine. But I was so frightened – so afraid, watching you die like that. Watching you come so close to dying. You shouldn’t have come here, Kal. Why did you come?”

“I had to come…” she whispered. “I have to save them. The Carriers.”

“You could have stayed in Rutherford,” he whispered, his voice so soft and caressing. “You could have had a normal life. Stayed far away from vampires. Stayed with Stuart.”

Kalina propped herself up on one elbow. She was still very weak from the loss of blood, and she was shaking. “You know I couldn’t do that,” she said. “I never could.” Seeing Octavius now made her so much surer of it. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out, cupping his face. She half-expected him to recoil, as he so often did, forcing himself to withdraw from her, to stop loving her. But this time he did not turn away. He closed his eyes and luxuriated in the sensation of her caress. Now she could hear his thoughts, their telepathic connection stronger than ever it had been before. Crystal clear.

You still love me
. Her heart could not contain its joy, even as it still ached and bled with sorrows.

How could I ever stop? Don’t you know, Kalina – even if you chose another, I would never stop loving you.

Molotov…

“He’s gone,” said Octavius out loud. His voice was gruff. “He’s fled now. But now he’s a danger. No vampire has ever had quite so much of your blood before – and we know just how strong your blood can be. He may be resistant to the rubies now – I don’t know. All I know is that he’s likely gone out to turn vampires, to rebuild his army.”

“He drank from me,” the memory was hazy now, like a cloudy morning. “I almost died.”

Octavius’ eyes darkened at the thought. “If he’d had one more gulp of you,” Octavius said gravely, “he would have drained you dead. And I…it would have killed me, too. I saw that when I saw him drain you. I saw what an effect you had on me. I saw my own weakness so palpable and plain in my love for you.” And then he pulled her in for a kiss. Kalina gasped in surprise – Octavius had not initiated a kiss with her in so long, always letting her chase him, wait for him, want him… But this time it was his turn to give in to their desires; she felt his mouth upon hers, felt him share his longing with her, his loss and his love. It was the kiss she knew he had held back for so long – and yet would hold back no longer. She felt her heart respond to him and to his blood; she felt herself grow weak-kneed with desire. They were together, beneath the falling snow, their minds and bodies and souls and blood all twined at last in the dizzying sensation of that kiss.

She never wanted him to let go.

Chapter 7

A
s they broke apart, their bodies still aching to stay alongside each other, Kalina was shaking. Her body had never quivered like this – the cold of the snow mingling with the heat of her longing. She had never felt as close to Octavius as she did right now. But it was more than physical proximity that made her feel that way. Something was different. Her blood was prickling more than normal – it was responding to his blood in a way she had never seen before. Her skin seemed to glow at his touch; her eyes sparkled as she beheld him.

“It’s so strange...” She sat up, her strength returning. “Molotov almost drained me. But now I feel…almost fine.” She stretched out her hands, looking down on the blue veins, the milky white skin. “Whole again?”

“You were sick, Kalina,” Octavius murmured. “You’d passed out. When we landed here, at the bottom of the mountain, you were about to die. And, my God, I would do anything to save you. Anything. You would have died – Molotov was gone, but you’d still lost so much blood. You were whiter than the snow banks. And I just thought to myself – I cannot live without her. I must save her. I would have asked, but there was no time. You were unconscious; your skin was freezing. I kissed you – I placed my hands all over you – but I couldn’t warm you up. And so I did what I had to do.”

Now Kalina understood. She looked into Octavius’ eyes, her gaze cool but full of love. “You gave me your blood,” she whispered. “Is that it?”

He nodded. “My love, I know the dangers of the act. I knew that it would make the connection between us stronger than ever. It would make your feelings worse for me than they already were. But it, too, would weaken my own resistance against you. It would make me love you more. And it has, my darling Kalina. I feared that you would die with my blood in you and turn – a fate worse than death, Kalina. But it was the only chance I had at saving you. And I was selfish. Willing to take that risk if it meant not losing you – just as I did for Stuart and Jaegar so many centuries before. It is my greatest weakness: I cannot bear to lose those I love. Perhaps I acted selfishly in doing so. But you did not die. You survived.” His voice was low and warm, velvety in its richness. “And now our bond is stronger than ever.”

“Then you wouldn’t turn me,” Kalina whispered. “If I wanted you to?” She didn’t want to be a vampire – but she already suffered from the hunger pangs, the vampire cravings. How much worse could it be to be made immortal? If Octavius would never become human, then she longed to live out eternity with him, for she could not bear the thought of vanishing into mortality as he went along without her.

Octavius shook his head. “If I were in my right mind, no. But seeing you almost dead – it made me crazy. Made me reckless. I am sorry for that now.”

“Don’t apologize…” Kalina brought him in for another kiss.  “I can feel the bond. It’s stronger than ever before. I can feel it, Octavius. You can’t hide from me any longer what you feel. Because now I feel it, too – and Octavius, it’s strong. Our love is too strong. Your essence is in me now, Octavius. Your blood is in me. I can feel it running through my veins.”

Octavius smiled a sad smile at her. “Then you know what it’s been like, don’t you? What torture it has been spending each moment away from you – when I want nothing in the world so badly as to spend the night with you, each day with you, wrap my arms around you in bed and never let go. And then I start to waver and quake – I start to doubt myself and the oath I have sworn…”

He sighed.

“Why do you have to be so noble, Octavius?” Kalina pressed her lips against his marble-white forehead. “Why can’t you ever think of what
you
want?”

“I do think of it,” said Octavius. “I think of it all the time. But I cannot act on it. Not when I have brought so many vampires into this world of suffering – so many of them have been staked, with no hope of regaining their humanity. And those that remain still suffer. When I have brought such cruelty into the world, I cannot live with myself unless I cast it out again. Someone has to act as I must act, Kalina. Or else this world that you and I inhabit will become a different world, one where the likes of Molotov and Mal, vampires with no regard for human or vampire life, will rule. And the humans who rule, too, will be likewise cruel and callous. Without people like you, Kalina. Without people who have taken the oath that I have taken.”

“That doesn’t make it any less hard,” Kalina said. “It’s one thing thinking about what you
ought
to do – it’s another thing working up the strength to actually do it.” She thought once more of Stuart, of Jaegar, of her uncontrollable urges, and she was ashamed. Here she was, giving into each compulsion, each need, freely moving from vampire to vampire as her urges took her – even while Octavius wanted nothing in the world more than he wanted her, and yet he was able to force himself to resist. She thought once more of Justin, and her lips began to quiver with the pain and shame of it. If she hadn’t left Justin alone, if she hadn’t gone off to give in to her lust with Stuart, would Justin still be alive right now? Her eyes began to well up with tears at the thought. “I can’t stand it,” she whispered. “I’ve been awful – such a fool. Why can’t I be as strong as you are, Octavius?”

“But you are strong, my sweet.” He was stroking her hair. “Kalina, my love, you are the strongest woman I have ever known.”

Kalina shook her head. “Not strong enough. I have these…urges. These desires – and they’re so strong I can’t control them. One minute I’m in love with Jaegar, the next with Stuart –
always
with you – and my hunger and desire are so strong I can’t resist them. No matter how hard I try.”

Octavius smiled sadly. “So you have a compulsion that makes you give into your urges by making them ten times stronger than normal.”

“I’m so selfish! I’ve hurt Jaegar, hurt Stuart, hurt everyone I love by not being able to resist any of you…”

“But Kalina – doesn’t it sound familiar to you? Uncontrollable urges – burning needs…”

“I don’t understand.”

“We vampires suffer from hunger all the time. And in your Life’s Blood you have vampire blood. And that Life’s Blood has given you an incredible capacity to love – but also the pain of desire that comes with it. In us, vampire blood gives us an urge to feed. But in you, the urges are largely different. But how could I – or any of us – blame you for being overwhelmed by your blood, when we have struggled with that same question for centuries? I will not lie – of course it hurts me to see you with Stuart, with Jaegar, even with…Aaron.” Octavius went quiet at the mention of the youngest Greystone brother, long since staked into oblivion. “But I understand how it must be for you. I’ve been there. I remember waking up that first morning in Ostia, feeling the hunger, my teeth sinking into the neck of a servant girl, a friend of mine, a girl I cared for…” He sighed at the remembrance. “I know how hard it is to control your needs, my love. Your desires. And when someone is as beautiful, as irresistible as you – you could have your pick of anyone, man or vampire. Your struggle is a noble one – you and I are not so different. We both struggle with longings we cannot control. Perhaps that is why my heart waited so long to find you – two thousand years without love, and then the day I met you all that changed. Perhaps…” He sighed...

She leaned into him, closing her eyes. She could think of nothing to say – there was no need for speaking. He could hear all her thoughts – coursing through her brain. Her fear about Justin, her terror that he would wake up a vampire, turned into one of Molotov’s minions. Her loss, her loneliness. And still, alongside it all – her love. Her brain was going wild – she could think of nothing but that sure refrain:
I love you,
her heart was saying,
I love you, I love you, I love you.

“Why do I have to love you?” Kalina said at last out loud. “It would be so much easier if I didn’t, if you weren’t in my life. Then the choice wouldn’t be so hard. I’m so in love with you – I feel I’ll never be able to move on. And if as you say, this blood connects us more – it’ll be worse now than ever. For both of us.” Because she knew what she wanted, she could not have. The two of them could never be together – she would have to suffer her longing and loneliness in silence; she would have to bear losing him once more.

Octavius gave an ironic chuckle. “Fate, perhaps?” he said slowly. “Fate that has wrenched us apart, torn us apart over centuries, and yet which keeps thrusting us back together. Perhaps we should wait and see what Fate has in store for us this time?”