Blood & Rust (Lock & Key #4) (29 page)

“It started out as flirting, a game.”

“A game? A man from another MC is not a game. You know better.”

“I know. I do. I just—I’ve never been so attracted to anyone before.” Nina’s face crumpled. “Not like this.”

“Jesus. There’s more to life than fucking and getting off!”

“This isn’t like that! It’s—I barely understand it. I can’t get enough of him. I need him.”

“Is it really so difficult for you to keep your fucking panties on?”

“I just want to be with him. All the time. He makes me feel like—”

“Whoa, she feels, ladies and gentlemen! Nina Scott actually
feels
things.”

“Shut up! That’s not fair.”

“Fair? You have no fucking idea,” I spit out.

I had chosen to be with Nina because I’d assumed I was done, and yet now I was careening through feelings and emotions for a woman I couldn’t have. Was it fair to suddenly feel things I hadn’t felt in years? Was it fair to fumble with possibility, curiosity, excitement, and tenderness at the very time that I had all my big plans in place? Was it fair that the one person who made me actually want to wake up in the morning and face the day, the one person who made me realize all that possibility, was, right this minute, in a bed down the hall, fucking someone else? A someone else who was a formidable ally and potential opponent.

Motherfuck.

Nina sniffled, her red eyes wild with emotion. And fear, too. Yes, fear of this new pull in her heart, a heart that had never been clawed at and ripped into shreds before.

Yeah, I knew that fear well.

“What are you saying? You in love with him?”

“Yes,” she cried. Tears streamed down her face, her chest heaved.

It’s a fucking whirlwind, ain’t it, baby?

“Welcome to the real world, Nina, where feelings are genuine, and they are felt
right through your goddamn soul. Feelings overwhelm you, and they can drown you, Feelings cut deep, and you fucking bleed. The one thing they aren’t is fair.”

“I know I fucked up. Fucked up bad. I’m sorry. But I can’t…I can’t do this anymore,” she said through ragged, hiccupy breaths, her arms wrapped around her middle, as if she were freezing.

“Tough shit. You can’t just cut and run. We had a deal. You fucked it up.”

“I know, I know.”

“Do I have to remind you that you have just as much at stake in this as I do?”

“I’m pregnant!”

“What?” That fist tightened in my chest, that nausea rolled in my gut.

“I’m—”

“I heard you!” I steadied myself. “Is it mine?”

She shook her head. “No. No, it’s his.”

“You sure?”

“I went to this clinic place. I’m seven weeks pregnant. You and I haven’t…for a long time now.”

“Ah, shit.” I leaned over and sucked in a breath. “But you’re on the pill. How the hell—”

“Remember when I got sick a couple of months ago, and I had to go on those antibiotics? I forgot to take a pill or two, and I think the medicine interferes with it anyway.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry!”

I wiped at the prickle of sweat over my forehead and dragged a hand through my hair. “Sorry gets us nowhere. When Reich hears about you cheating on me—and he will—what are you going to say? You know your sister will be calling you. What are you going to tell her?”

She wiped at the tears on her face. “I’ll tell her what I told everyone out there tonight. That Catch came on to me. We were at a party, and he was drunk, and I’d been drinking, too. We flirted, and Catch took it as an invite. Fuck, Deanna knows how I am. This won’t be a stretch for her to believe.” She bit down on the corner of her mouth, rocking back and forth. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

“Nothing’s gonna be the same again. Nothing.”

“I’m sorry. Please, I’m so sorry,” she wailed.

“Shit had finally settled down with us and the Flames. And now…fuck. You going to keep the baby? I mean, what do you want to do? You going to tell Catch?”

“I want to keep it. I want…” She started crying again.

I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. “Look, for the time being, you can’t tell Catch about the baby. If you do, he’s going to come bulldozing over here to get to you. And that can’t happen just yet.”

“Right.” She grabbed a tissue from her handbag and blew her nose.

“You lay low, hang out with Jill, the other old ladies, and be the good girl. No going out at night to bars or clubs anymore, not even a movie. When you hang out with them, I mean, only coffee, lunch, their houses, babysit for them, but that’s it. Nothing more.”

“Okay.” She nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears.

“For a fucking change, you need to keep your mouth shut and be the quiet good girl on the block. Can you do that?”

Her watery eyes met mine. “Yes,” she whispered.

“And you’re going to have to play the guilty card, too. Be humbled, ashamed, remorseful, so I don’t lose face by hanging on to you. You convince them that you want to stay with me, that you’re bending over backward for me. That you know you fucked up royally. This needs to stay real, goddamn it. At least for a little while longer. You got that?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Stay the fuck away from him.”

“Okay!”

I gripped her chin. “Do. You. Understand?”

She blinked. “Yes. Yes, I understand.”

I released her. “I fucking hope so. For both our sakes.”

“
TANIA
.”

I unglued my eyes. Finger hovered over me.

My body jerked up in the bed. “What is it? Did something happen? Is Catch—”

“He’s fine. I have to go into town. It’s early yet. You stay here with your brother. My men will be here, and I’m counting on you to keep shit cool until I get back. Shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours. Depends.”

I grabbed his arm, and his eyes narrowed at me.

“Please, be kind to her.”

“Tania, all I’ve ever wanted was the best for her.”

“I know,” I breathed.

“Listen, you be careful with what you say out there. Don’t say shit. After last night, they won’t know what to say to you anyhow.”

“Right. This should be fun. You know, I’m really surprised you haven’t cut my brother loose from the Flames.”

“Why? He’s a good, loyal brother. He’s got balls. He’s also good with numbers. Real good.”

I swung my legs out of the bed. “My brother?”

“Yeah.” Finger shoved on his boots. “He’s gotten us out of a few tight spots.”

“Oh. Good. Glad to hear it.”

“I have plans for Catch. But he keeps fucking up with his bitch dramas. And I don’t think this was any ordinary pussy run, but now, he’s not giving two shits about much else. Talk to him.”

“I will. He’s totally devoted to your club—to you, most of all.”

“I don’t question that. But he’s got to keep his goddamn dick in check.”

“I don’t think this was just about his dick or some grand plan. I think he might actually like her.”

Finger adjusted his bandana over his head and tied it in the back. “He needs to focus. I don’t want to be questioning his choices anymore. This is getting old.”

“I think you know what that’s like, saying to hell with it for a woman.
The
woman.”

He shot me a sharp glance as he unlocked the door. “You make sure your brother is ready to ride by the time I get back.”

The door slammed.

Grace and Alicia sat at the bar, drinking from large white mugs.

“Good morning,” I said.

Alicia wordlessly slid a mug in front of me and poured coffee in it. Jump, Bear, and several other Jacks stood, holding their mugs, talking with the two Flames of Hell men. They stared at me.

“Is it?” Grace asked, her tone pricking like a needle on skin.

Here we go.

“The sun is shining. We’re alive. That’s a big yes in my book.”

Grace frowned at me. “Tania…”

I sipped on the strong black coffee. “I know Finger.”

“Obviously! Since when? You avoided my questions when we saw him in Nebraska. So, now what? You have an ongoing thing? Or is this new? You’ve been married for over ten years. Were you—”

“Grace!”

“We’re talking about Finger here, Tania,” she said, lowering her voice. “The president of one of the most powerful chapters of the Flames of Hell. Not just any ole biker from any ole MC. It’s me you’re talking to here—the old lady, twice over. Your oldest friend, whom you used to yell at for talking to a biker, let alone liking one, sleeping with one, marrying one. Now, spill!”

“Could you please—”

“And how could you keep this from me?”

“Do I really have to explain
that
to you, Mrs. One-Eyed Jack?”

“
That
,
I get, but as your friend, it hurts.”

“I’m sorry. Really.”

Damn, I hate this.

She took in a breath. “Apology accepted. Moving on. Spill.”

I’d prepped the story in my head from the moment Finger had walked out the door this morning. I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. I couldn’t tell anyone. I’d been keeping it a secret all these years for a good reason, and even though I trusted Grace with my life, I couldn’t spill this secret.

“I met Finger through my brother when he first started hanging out with the Flames. I came home just before I got married, and Drew was prospecting then. I went down to Nebraska to see him and tell him my news in person, and that’s when I met the Grand Master himself.”

Grace folded her arms and stared at me. Alicia drank her coffee, her eyes on me from behind her mug.

I pinned a breezy smile on my face, my gaze darting from Grace to Alicia. “Questions? Comments? Half-and-half for my coffee?”

Grace didn’t move a muscle. “What about last night? Don’t tell me you only met that one time over eleven years ago and then again when we were in Nebraska a few months ago? That’s it?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not
exactly
? I should believe that you just caught his eye last night, and he claimed you for his bed, like he would any club girl, and you sucked on his mouth and trotted on after him and—”

“Grace—”

“See? That’s not the Tania I know, not unless you wanted him.”

“I did. I do. He turns me on.”

Literal truth! See? I’m not lying to my bestie.

She shifted her weight, chewing on her inner cheek. That decades old habit of hers hadn’t faded.

“Are we going to sit and share our past sex stories, catching up right now on all those many years we were out of touch?” I said.

She pushed her mug away. “What happened out there last night, I don’t know if you realize what it meant.”

“For God’s sake, yes, I’ve had sex with him before. Okay? But we’re not going steady or getting married.”

No more, Gracie, please.

“Ah.”

“What is it? We can’t be friends anymore? The Flames and the Jacks don’t break bread together? Play in the same sandbox? Is Flame cock off-limits for me? Am I tainted for you now?”

“Geez, don’t make fun,” murmured Alicia.

“I’m sorry. Anyway, my brother is a Flame, so I’m in the clear, right? Fucking a Flame should be on the menu for me.” I cleared my throat. “Can’t Finger and I be…friendly because of that?”

Grace and Alicia eyed me. “Friendly?” they both exclaimed.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.