Blood Shadows (24 page)

He should show her some affection or compassion. Give her reassurance or even just a compliment. Because making her feel safe was the next way in. Safe was a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. Something that would seal the deal further.

But she wasn’t safe. And he wasn’t willing to play that game.

And when he detected what looked like shame and embarrassment in her eyes, he almost felt a glimmer of guilt.

She’d wanted to climax. She was ashamed she hadn’t. In her naivety, she’d thought it could happen that easily. She didn’t see that what they’d done was just the start.

He stepped away from her, tried to get a grip on himself. He opened the fridge and grabbed himself another beer and her a bottle of water. He flicked the lid off his bottle, picked up a chair and placed it adjacent to hers. He put the bottle of water in front of her on the table.

She didn’t flinch.

He took a mouthful of beer, the silence uncomfortable even for him. ‘Conception’s impossible unless there’s an eclipse,’ he said. ‘Just in case it crossed your mind.’

‘It didn’t.’ She shoved her chair back and stood a little too quickly. She pressed her hand to the table for support, before regaining her balance and striding past the table and through to the bathroom.

He could have reached out and caught her, but he let her go.

The honesty of her words cut him deeper than they should have. She had no reason to worry because in her mind it was pointless. She might have been hell-bent on killing the soul ripper, but she didn’t expect to survive it. She was fighting with everything she had even though, deep down, she believed her own survival was a lost cause. He had been her last resort. It had taken everything, had gone against every instinct, to ask for his help. She’d done it because redemption for her parents was more important than her own pride. Getting one over on the soul ripper that had killed them was more important than her own safety. Caitlin wanted this badly, needed it. And he understood those feelings only too well. But he wouldn’t let it cloud his judgement.

And he couldn’t give her time to close in on herself again. Her mind was fending him off only because her heart was sending out signals that it was feeling vulnerable.

That was exactly what he wanted. Instead, he felt like a complete and utter bastard for what he needed to do next.

He’d give her a little while. Maybe finish his beer. She could try and avoid him if she wanted to, but there was no way he was going to give her that luxury.

Not now.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

N
o. No. No. No. No. That was not supposed to have happened. Caitlin clutched her head as she paced the bathroom. What the hell had she been thinking? She dragged her hands down to her mouth as she faced the windows. And how the hell had it happened so quickly? Sleep with him, yes, but not less than fifteen minutes after resolving to.

She sat down on the steps and rested her forehead on her clenched knuckles.

She’d lost it. She’d totally lost it. She cursed in frustration, still aching and throbbing and tingling, every inch of her skin alive from his touch. Her stomach flipped at the recollection of how easily he had got her on the table, just like he had back in the interrogation room. She hadn’t even thought about how easy it would have been for him to bite her too. It could have taken her hours to recover from that. Hours she couldn’t afford to lose.

Damn it.

She wondered if her walking away had made it worse. If she should have just stayed there and shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

But it wasn’t nothing. She’d just had sex with a vampire. Worse than that, a vampire she had craved since she’d first laid eyes on him. She’d had sex with Kane Malloy. And he’d just proved himself to be everything she’d imagined him to be and more.

But even that hadn’t been enough.

She impatiently wiped away an irritating tear of embarrassment. He’d proved it – she was useless. He was flawless and still she couldn’t be sated. She truly was defunct. She’d given herself to him – and for what? To have him laugh at her ineptness? Or to smear his masculinity? Because if he didn’t already hate her before, he’d hate her even more now.

She’d proven to him just how unbreakable she was – even more unbreakable than even she knew. If he didn’t need her, he may as well just kill her.

Her plan had backfired in more ways than one. A plan she’d deluded herself into thinking could actually work. Just like she’d deluded herself into believing she could abstain from him long enough to get what she wanted.

She couldn’t go back out there. The way she was feeling, she didn’t want to go back out there ever again.

She’d had the most gorgeous male she’d ever come across, and she’d just lain there, too tense and frigid even for the basics.

She snapped her attention to the door as the handle turned.

Kane pushed the door all the way open and leaned against the doorway with a nonchalance that made what they’d just done all the more painful. He took a mouthful of beer before lowering his arm to his side. ‘Are you okay?’

She looked back ahead. ‘Fine.’

‘You don’t look fine.’

‘Really,’ she said, meeting his gaze, unable to conceal her glower. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Then why are you looking at me like you could kill me?’ He lifted his bottle back to his lips, concealing the hint of a smile that had crept there.

‘I wouldn’t have to look at you at all if you gave me some privacy.’

He lowered his bottle again and pulled away from the doorframe. He placed his bottle on the corner of the sink and sauntered over to her. He sat on the floor directly in front of her and leaned back on braced arms, his legs splayed.

She curled her toes into the carpeted step as she refused to look away. She would not let her gaze wander. She would not let herself be distracted by the honed perfection displayed in front of her.

But rather than being aggravated by her defiance, the glint in Kane’s eyes told her he was amused by it. She averted her gaze and focused on the patter of the rain at the window rather than the excruciating silence between them.

At first she thought him touching her toes was an accident. But as she looked back at him, she saw from his hint of a smile that his caress was very much intentional.

‘You need to think less and play more,’ he said.

She knew she should have withdrawn her foot up onto the next step out of his reach, but she didn’t. ‘Whereas you play games all the time, don’t you, Kane?’

‘I nearly lost control out there. You do know that, don’t you?’

She warily met his gaze.

He slid his big toe into the gap next to hers, the rest of his toes covering hers. ‘What happened on that table, that spark, it doesn’t happen often.’

Her heart skipped a beat. ‘I didn’t feel a spark.’

‘No? I don’t remember the last time I came that quick or that powerfully.’

Her pulse raced. She was looking for the mocking in his eyes, but they were devoid of it. She’d assumed he’d got impatient. Had sensed he was getting nowhere so had sated himself to get it over with quickly. Even now heat scorched her face at the humiliation. He’d probably felt nothing the entire time, nothing but triumph for finally getting her to concede. And now he was trying to make up for it.

She withdrew her foot from his, lifting both feet onto the next step up as she tucked her dress beneath her thighs.

‘You put yourself under too much pressure,’ he added.

‘Maybe I just didn’t enjoy it.’

‘Did I not misbehave enough for you? Because you like me playing the bad vampire, don’t you? It makes you feel safe.’

She stared at him aghast, his words striking too deep a chord. Apprehension squeezed as a damp heat renewed between her legs.

‘Ironic,’ he added. ‘But true. It terrifies you how much I excite you, how easily you gave yourself to me out there, how that heart of yours isn’t quite as impenetrable as you think.’

‘This has nothing to do with my heart.’

‘For a girl like you, when it comes to sex, it’s always about your heart.’

‘So you hoped you’d get me swooning? You thought it would be that easy? You were good, Kane, but obviously you weren’t that good.’

His smile resonated in his stunning navy eyes, but also revealed a hint of those lethal incisors. ‘Ouch. Stake me through the heart, why don’t you.’

‘Trust me, if the opportunity arose…’

He laughed. It was the first time she’d ever heard him laugh. It was the first time she’d ever seen him laugh. It was fleeting, but intoxicating.

‘Maybe I should try again,’ he said, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t take it so easy this time.’

Her heart lunged. ‘Once was enough.’

‘No. Clearly you think I failed.’

‘I never said that. You just weren’t as good as I’d thought you’d be.’

‘You’re just full of compliments, aren’t you, Caitlin?’

‘I’m sure you’ll get over it.’

A smile escaped then dissipated. ‘I warned you these games could get darker.’

‘And I keep telling you I’m not fragile.’

‘You’re more fragile than you can possibly conceive, little girl.’

She stared as deep into his eyes as she dared. This was him – the real Kane seeping out again. The Kane that would remind her how stupid she’d been. The Kane she couldn’t possibly feel anything for. ‘I’m guessing you’ve worked out you’re out of your depth thinking you can break a shadow reader. It’ll take more than a handsome face and a few well-rehearsed moves.’

‘You can stop that soul ripper getting what it wants, Caitlin. You just need to make a choice. You can keep blocking me, keep that self-control and keep fighting me for the next two days until it comes and takes exactly what it wants all over again, or you can give in to me. Let me get there first. And then you can look that soul ripper in the eyes and tell it to go fuck itself. You might not have your soul, but at least you’ll be alive. You win and I win. All you have to do is learn to let go.’

The insult of how easy he made it sound was too much to bear. ‘Is this what you meant back in the interrogation room about me giving you my soul willingly? You making me an offer I can’t refuse? Or am I to take it as an ultimatum? Well, you can go to hell, Kane.’ Her heart pounded, but she wasn’t going to be the first to look away. Not this time. ‘I’ll take my chances with the soul ripper before I give you what you want.’

As soon as she’d said it, she knew she’d made a horrible mistake.

His gaze was as immoveable as hers as the rain smashed against the window, his eyes flashing darkly with unnerving sobriety. She caught her breath and braced herself as he stood up. But he didn’t look at her as he lifted his bottle back off the sink and strolled back out of the bathroom.

She couldn’t move. Her heart pounded in her ears. Every instinct, everything she knew about him, told her this silence meant trouble.

Big trouble.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

C
aitlin stood from the steps, but remained rooted to the spot as she stared warily at the open bathroom door. She wrapped her arm around her waist and chewed on her thumbnail.

She heard music, music that became louder. Louder because Kane was turning it up until she could hear every word of the pounding rock song. The room beyond became dark as he switched off the wall light, only the flashing glow of the television igniting the space. Curiosity urged her to step up to the threshold, but nerves made her legs leaden.

She sat back down, clutched the step either side of her, not daring take her attention off the gaping doorway.

But he didn’t come back.

Minutes seemed to pass, but she was sure it must have been less. She tucked her hair behind her ears and then clenched her hands in her lap. Whatever he was up to, he was taking his time.

The smatters of rain intensified and poured like a mini-waterfall from clogged guttering above. The breeze was picking up, whistling through the small gaps in the windows. She should have felt cold, and she did to the touch. But panic made her perspire, a thin coating already lining her palms.

If there had been a lock on the door she would have run over and slammed it shut, secured herself inside until she’d at least got a grip.

It was all part of his games – leaving her there suffering and pondering, imagining the worse.

Just how bad a vampire do you imagine me to be?

She scowled at the door. He couldn’t do this to her – manipulate her like this. Because that’s what he was doing by walking out of there and saying nothing. By leaving her alone in the silence. He was treating her like a petulant child, so petulant was subsequently what she felt. He was punishing her. Or he just didn’t care.

He couldn’t have given up. Kane didn’t give up on anything. Her chest clenched. He could have tried harder. He could have tried again. He could have persisted a little. If only he’d known how painfully close she had been. How he had made her feel.

Her throat constricted. She was upset. She had to acknowledge it. She was upset because Kane had walked out on her. She should have heaved a sigh of relief, been grateful for some time alone. But all she wanted to do was go out there and find him. Even arguing with him would be better than being sat there in isolation wondering if it was all over – if that was it.