Blood Shadows (20 page)

She was smart. Smart and sensitive and perceptive. She’d been reading him from the moment she’d woken on his bed – assessing her situation and making plans. She had to believe she could succeed or it wouldn’t work. If she knew the truth of how impossible her cause was, she’d close down on him and make her soul even less accessible than it already was.

He had to stop her seeing the dense, impenetrable chasm she was in.

It was cruel but it was necessary.

He gripped the counter.

And because of that he couldn’t afford to feel the way he had when he’d wrapped his arm around her in the bath. When he’d felt just how vulnerable she really was. When he’d detected every tiny response to him. It hadn’t been just sexual as he’d intended – finding out what might make her tick. A connection had sparked – the last thing he could afford. He’d enjoyed it. He’d enjoyed seeing that side of her. That side so tightly concealed inside her. For a split second, she’d forgotten who he was. Or for a split second, she hadn’t cared.

That was what he needed.

He needed more.

He needed to get back out there and allow her to get closer. Allow himself to get closer – closer than he’d dared let himself get to anyone in a long time – if he was going to succeed.

Kane hadn’t even looked at her in the hour or so that had passed. His coldness only made what she was about to do harder. Caitlin clenched her hands in her lap as she watched him from the bed. No time yet had felt like the right time to approach him. But she knew no time would.

She thought of the witness statements she’d read about his feeding habits. They were as contradictory as everything else produced about him. Some claimed him to be rough, brutal and insatiable, the sex acts that followed the feed equally fierce and self-sating. Others reported him to be sensual and considerate, but still controlling. None ever wanted to prosecute. All were happy to boast of their encounter. Those that had survived. All said they’d offer themselves to him again.

He stubbed out his second cigarette before standing from the sofa. Crossing the room to the kitchen, he re-emerged a few minutes later with a beer and a bottle of water. He left the latter on the table rather than take it over to her. She wondered if it was her cue to join him.

Her thudding heart resonated in her ears as she forced herself off the edge of the bed. She stepped over to the sofa opposite his, tentatively sitting on the edge.

Kane took a mouthful of beer, the solemnity in his eyes telling her she hadn’t been forgiven even if his anger had dissipated.

She knew she couldn’t hesitate or she’d lose her nerve. ‘If you tell me what killed my parents, I’ll let you feed.’

He lifted his eyebrows slightly in faint amusement. ‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard me.’

‘Yeah, I heard you. I just want you to say it again.’

‘It’s a fair exchange.’

‘You’re offering to let me feed? On you?’

She nodded.

‘What happened to the systems and protocols?’

‘I want a name, Kane. I need to know.’ She dug her nails deeper into her perspiring palms. ‘Before you’re going to do whatever it is you’re planning to do, I want to know what it is.’

He lifted his bottle steadily to his lips, took a slow mouthful then lowered it again, his gaze not flinching from hers as he subtly licked away the remnants. ‘I’d need to control you for every moment of the feed. Are you sure you can take that?’

She couldn’t let her gaze falter. ‘More than sure.’

Her stomach flipped at his flicker of a smile as he turned his attention back to the TV.

‘This is not an open-ended offer, Kane.’

He was a vampire. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to tempt him to bite.

‘What’s the problem?’ she asked, her tone laced with an urgency she hadn’t intended.

His eyes snapped to hers again. ‘The problem is that I could forget myself, Caitlin. I could decide I want more than just your blood. Like you said, if I do anything you don’t like, it could jeopardise my plans. And believe me, during a feed I could do a lot of things you don’t like.’

There was a stirring low in her abdomen at the threat, but she forced herself to focus on the significance of what else he’d said. ‘So you do need to get to my heart.’

He narrowed his eyes slightly. ‘You do know what goes on in a dual feed, don’t you? A vampire gets you to the height of arousal until all that built-up energy gets fit to explode and then he bites – hard and fast. And just as you climax, at that exact moment, he drinks, taking every last shred of energy. You don’t remember who you are, where you are, you don’t even care. Humans can’t survive it. Even you shadow readers, with your constantly self-generating energy, can only take so much. And I’m capable of taking more than you can even imagine.’

She refused to look away despite every facet of common sense screaming at her to retreat. ‘But you won’t forget yourself, will you? Not if your need for vengeance is that strong.’

‘That’s still one hell of a risk you’re willing to take.’

‘I have nothing to lose, do I?’

Her chest tightened as he held her gaze for an uncomfortable couple of seconds.

‘And you thought me trying to seduce you was tragic,’ he said. ‘You offering yourself to me in exchange for information you won’t be able to do anything with is what’s tragic, Caitlin.’ He lifted his bottle back to those sexy, bow lips. ‘It almost breaks my heart.’

She pressed her lips tight together and breathed steadily through her nose for a moment. ‘I just want to know what it is.’

‘You really want to trade that flawless skin for information you can do nothing with?’

‘Do you really want to turn down a free feed?’

He licked the bottom of his lip as his gaze swept from her throat to her mouth. ‘I’d want to bite you full on,’ he declared, the intensity behind those navy eyes as they locked on hers telling her he meant every word. ‘No numbing. I’d want you to feel me go in. And I will hold you down. I can’t risk those magic fingers wandering.’

She nodded despite knowing he was still angry enough to make this difficult for her. But she knew if she pulled away now, she was unlikely to regain the courage to offer herself to him again.

Kane assessed her carefully for a few moments longer before pushing the coffee table aside with his foot, freeing the space between them. He placed his drink on the edge of the table before leaning back, draping his arms over the back of the sofa. ‘Come here,’ he said, resting his gaze squarely on hers.

She could barely breathe as she forced herself off the sofa to stand in front of him. All she kept telling herself was that she was insane – insane to even be considering giving herself to him.

He wrapped his cool hand around her wrist and guided her down onto his lap to sit astride him, facing him. The rush of heat between her legs as she spread them across those strong, powerful thighs was too overwhelming for her to dare meet those compelling eyes scorching into her.

After a few moments of silent contemplation, he brushed her hair back from her neck. ‘Undo your dress.’

Her stomach leapt, her pulse racing. She lifted her fingers to her buttons, fumbling as if she were wearing gloves. She unfastened the first and then the second, glanced at him only to see he wasn’t watching her reveal herself, but examining her eyes instead. She unfastened the third and the fourth then hesitated.

He slid his hands up under the hem of her dress to hold her thighs – hands that felt more familiar than they should have. ‘A couple more.’

She stopped mid-stomach then looked back at him. Uncertain where to rest her hands, she interlaced them and held them awkwardly at her stomach.

‘Have you ever been bitten?’

She shook her head.

‘So you’re jumping straight in at the deep end,’ he remarked, his eyes flashing darkly.

‘Sometimes that’s the best way.’

He smiled fleetingly, flashing his incisors. ‘Spoken like a true bite virgin.’

She stared into his eyes, the shadows of the room intensifying around her, blackening the corners. ‘Which I’m sure doesn’t bother you.’

He smiled again – a smile that was as sexy and entrancing as the light but firm grip he held on her thighs. But it didn’t manage to overshadow the dark intent in his eyes. ‘Not at all. Even if it does make you a little jittery. Unpredictable.’ He lifted his hands to her shoulders and slid her sleeves down to mid-arm, exposing the cups of her lace balconette bra, the upward mounds of her breasts. He gently eased down each lacy shoulder strap, leaving her shoulders bare. He ran his tongue down his incisor. ‘But I can work with that.’

She pressed her lips together, reminding herself that she could do this. Every survival instinct in her cried for her to tell him she’d changed her mind, but she knew it wasn’t just about the information. She knew that for too long she’d wanted to know how it felt to have Kane at his most primal. Despite the danger, despite the blood loss, despite the potential energy drain, she wanted to experience firsthand the binding intimacy.

Kane cupped her behind with both hands and tugged her tight against him. As his contained erection pressed against her sex, a breath caught in her throat. She hoped he hadn’t noticed but didn’t dare look at him to check. He caught her hands in his, pushed both behind her back to hold them there with one of his. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, her spine tingling as he rubbed his thumb hypnotically from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.

She looked back at him and her heart lunged. His eyes were different, his pupils dangerously dilated, his incisors more elongated.

And he could never have been more captivating.

This was not just the vampire, but the master vampire emerging. She was learning more in those few minutes than she had learned in years from notes and photographs and witness statements. This was the part of him she most feared and was most fascinated by. She sensed the power but also the need – the deep, sensual, instinctive need that he orchestrated like a finely tuned instrument. Any lesser vampire would have already pinned her to the floor and all but drained her dry.

He didn’t need to.

She tried to relax as he rubbed his thumb along her jaw before turning her head to the side to expose her throat. But as he leaned in, licked over her artery, his incisors meeting soft, tender flesh, she tensed.

He pulled back and studied her eyes. He frowned and let go of her wrists. ‘You’re not ready for this.’

Her stomach flipped. A cool perspiration swept over her. He wasn’t going to risk it. He was playing carefully. ‘We had a deal.’

‘A deal you’re not ready for.’ He stretched his arms across the back of the sofa again, his sullen gaze locked on hers.

She nearly yanked her sleeves back up over her shoulders and pulled herself up off of him, but there was no way she was having him turn her down. Despite the fact it could be her only opportunity, his self-control was humiliating. As she crumbled inside, her willpower increased. ‘You’re actually scared of the consequences, aren’t you?’

He lifted his eyebrows a fraction. ‘You seriously think goading me is a good idea?’

‘I want you to bite me, Kane,’ she said, knowing that, despite her fear, the words couldn’t have been truer. ‘I want that name.’

‘Last warning. I don’t play nice. Sometimes I forget how much more fragile humans are than third-species mates.’

She didn’t dare break from his compelling gaze. ‘Bite me, Kane,’ she said, her eyes narrowed in a taunt to emphasise her double entendre.

He almost smiled as he gently pushed her hands back, his gaze not leaving hers. He raked back her hair, cupped the nape of her neck and leaned in. He slid his lips and then his tongue over her artery, her neck tingling before becoming numb to his kisses. He was anesthetising her, the very fact he chose to ease the pain despite what he’d said making her feel more for him than she knew she should have. But she convinced herself he was just being strategic again, minimising risk of alienating her.

She breathed faster, knowing there would be no stopping him once he’d bit. Not until he fed. And he wouldn’t feed gently.

And she was right.

His bite was hard, his incisors piercing her skin in one easy move.

Caitlin buckled as she felt him go in – slow, deep, controlled. But he held her firmly as he began to draw.

She clenched her thighs. The sensation was like one she’d never known, as if he was dragging her whole heart out of her, luring it, tempting it forward against its will. And the more he withdrew, the harder her heart beat, her neck filling with heat. It was painful. Not searing, scream-out painful, but she hated to think what it would be like without the anaesthetic. It was a sickening feeling, but at the same time created a sense of elation, of disassociation as the pain dissipated into a dull ache.

Caitlin didn’t struggle as he withdrew from the feed to lift her slightly and lower her onto her back on the sofa, his hard and powerful body immediately containing her with ease.

Slamming her hands either side of her head, he interlaced their fingers as his lips glided to the other side of her neck, capturing her earlobe before licking gently back down to her artery.