Blood Wolf Dawning (20 page)

“What do I want?” Aedan drawled, pulling Cian’s attention back to those feral, blood-colored eyes.
“I think that’s obvious.”

“If you wanted her dead,” he grunted, “you would have already killed her.”

“Oh, she’ll die eventually. But...well, to be honest, this is more enjoyable than I expected it to be. Watching you worry and squirm. It would be a shame to end it too soon,” he crooned as he stepped closer to Sayre and ran his hand down the gleaming fall of her hair. “So consider this
visit a little gift to myself,” he added, his thin lips spreading in a wide smile. “I got to spend some lovely
alone
time with your woman, and now you know how easily I can get to her whenever I want.”

Hoping like hell that Sayre would keep her mouth shut and let him do the talking, he said, “She isn’t my woman, Aedan.”

Stepping away from Sayre, and closer to the place where Cian stood,
his brother tsked. “Come now, Cian. Lying doesn’t become you. It never did. Even when you were a sinner, you managed to be noble.”

“There was nothing noble about the way we lived.”

Aedan gave a snide rumble of laughter. “God, you’re boring.”

“And you’re insane.”

“At least I’ll get the girl in the end, and not you. That’s only fair, don’t you think? Since you took my sweet little
Elizabeth from my dungeon and stole her from me.”

“Do you scent my mark on Sayre?” he growled. “No, you don’t. Because I haven’t claimed her, Aedan.”

“Just because you haven’t had the balls to make it official doesn’t mean this beautiful little piece of ass isn’t yours.” Tilting his head back, he flicked his tongue out like a snake, then looked at Cian and laughed. “I can
taste
the possessiveness
coming off you in the air. It’s thick in your blood, brother.”

“What does any of that matter if I have no intention of ever making her mine?” he countered. “You’re wasting your time.”

Aedan smirked. “I’m afraid I don’t agree. I think you want her so badly it’s
killing
you, Cian. Fucking ripping you to pieces.”

His hands flexed at his sides, his claws beginning to prick his fingertips.
“You’re wrong, Aedan. I’ll protect her because she’s innocent in all this, the same way I’ve protected others from you in the past, like Elizabeth. But you’re letting your madness cloud your judgment.”

“You didn’t protect Elizabeth from me. You stole her!” Aedan roared, his body rapidly changing, preparing for battle, as his temper got the better of him. The instant his fangs released, nearly
two inches in length, his skin turned milk white, as if every ounce of blood had drained from his veins. Against that corpse-like background, the macabre tattoos looked even sharper, the violent scenes writhing as his muscles rippled. He was raw power, cut and lean and horrifically lethal, and Cian wondered how it’d taken him so long to see it when they’d been young. Had he been blinded by their
joint hatred of their father? Or had it been the love he’d once held for Aedan that had made him such a fool?

He hated to admit it, but it was most likely the love. Despite what Aedan’s birth had meant to his mother—a devastating sign of his father’s betrayal—Cian hadn’t been able to do anything but love the boy who had been nothing but scrawny limbs and shaggy hair. A familial love, which
was the only type he’d ever been capable of feeling. And it’s not like he could have blamed the boy for their father’s infidelity. Aedan had had no one, and so Cian had taken over the role of protector.

Instead, he should have taken his head when he’d had the chance, but he’d been too weak, and he put the blame for that weakness where it belonged. On his love. If that right there wasn’t a
blinding endorsement for how that particular emotion was something he wanted no part of, he didn’t know what was.

You know nothing
, his beast muttered.
You never have.

He wasn’t surprised they disagreed on that particular point. Hell, most of the time they hardly agreed on anything. But the one thing they were both fully prepared to do was protect Sayre. At any cost.

Tired of letting
this son of a bitch stand between him and his woman, Cian released his own lethal set of fangs, his long Lycan claws piercing through the tips of his fingers as he charged Aedan in a blur of speed. He managed to get in a solid strike across the bastard’s ribs before Aedan backhanded him with so much power he was surprised his head hadn’t snapped off, the hot rush of blood filling his mouth telling
him that his lip had been smashed. Shaking it off, Cian rolled his head over his shoulders and narrowed his gaze, just as a deep, guttural growl surged up from his chest. Aedan might have the cold, calculating hatred of a vampire, but Cian had the scorching, primitive fury of his beast, and the ruthless animal was seriously pissed that their mate had been put in danger.

In the next second,
Aedan flew at him in a flurry of strikes, his talons slicing across the front of Cian’s shirt, shredding the cotton but only grazing his skin as he twisted to the side. He wasn’t hurt badly—it was only a scratch—but Sayre reacted as if he’d been gutted. Surging to her feet, her face pale and her eyes wide with fear, she flung her arms forward, throwing up one of those crackling, blinding walls of
energy between him and the vampire.

But Cian wasn’t going to let it hold him back.

“Sayre, stay out of this!” he roared, gritting his teeth as he pushed into the light, his skin sizzling from the searing burn. But he didn’t back down, determined to reach his brother and inflict as much damage as he could.

When he’d made it through the wall, stalking toward Aedan—who was watching
the whole thing with another one of those chilling, maniacal smiles—Cian pulled off the tattered remnants of his shirt and tossed them on the ground. “Come on, you sick bastard. You want blood?” he snarled, knowing damn well that his eyes were turning the same haunting shade as his brother’s, his rage fueling his bloodlust. “Then come and get it.”

“Not today, I’m afraid,” Aedan murmured,
pushing his hands in his front pockets as if they weren’t in the middle of a vicious fight to the death. “Like I said before, brother, this is proving so much more entertaining than I’d hoped. And I was already aiming high, after spying on your dreams these past few months.”

He froze, unable to believe what he’d just heard. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Aedan laughed low in
his throat, and took a step closer, though nearly ten yards still separated them. When Sayre had thrown up her light, his brother had scrambled away like a frightened cat. But now he was all cold, malevolent confidence. Lifting his brows, he said, “Think about it, Cian. How else do you think I learned about her after all this time?”

“You saw my dreams of her?” he growled, flexing his deadly
claws at his sides.

Aedan smirked as he shook his head. “You’re jealous I saw you thrusting like an animal between those silky thighs? That doesn’t sound like you, brother. I can remember a time when you liked screwing your meals while others watched. It made you
hotter
.”

He flinched and cut a quick look toward Sayre, who was still standing by the fallen trunk as she stared at his brother
with complete focus, her expression impossible to read.

When Cian returned his attention to Aedan, he found the bastard staring right back at her. “You’d probably faint if I told you what my precious brother dreams about doing to you, little witch. Some of it was so depraved, I couldn’t get enough of watching, just like a voyeur.” His head cocked at an eerie angle, as if his neck wasn’t attached
correctly. “Though you’ve probably been having those dreams, too. It’s because the two of you were quickening for one another. That happens when life mates spend too much time apart, at too great a distance.”

“How the hell would you know?” Cian demanded, wanting to rip out the bastard’s eyes so he couldn’t look at her that way. As if he was seeing her like she’d been in so many of his dreams,
passionate and wild and hungry for pleasure.

“I’m a hunter, brother, and hunters study their prey. I’ve been learning everything I could possibly need to know about your doglike nature for years.” He finally tore his attention away from Sayre, and slid Cian a gloating look. “Although, it wasn’t the sex dreams that truly caught my attention. They were just the cherry on the top of my
favorite
part. The thing that reached out across the world through our link and clasped on to me, digging its way into my mind.”

He swallowed, knowing exactly what Aedan was talking about.

“You see, Sayre, Cian’s been dreaming about more than just nailing you to every available surface he can find. He’s been having bad,
bad
dreams. And it’s funny, the things you can tell about a person’s feelings,
when they’re afraid. You see what they care about most in those moments. What means the most to them. Like when a fire alarm goes off, who does the husband run to first, his wife or his kids?”

Cian bared his fangs. “Shut the fuck up,” he snapped.

Ignoring him, Aedan went on. “And because Cian and I shared so many...meals together,” he explained with an evil smile, “we formed a connection.
One that bound us in a way others will never understand. I’m sure he would feel my fears, if I had any. But I can assure that I feel his. I feel them as if they were my own. And do you know what most people fear for the most? The things that they lo—”

“That’s enough!” he roared, cutting the bastard off.

Aedan threw back his head and laughed. “Careful now,” he chided. “You’re giving yourself
away, brother.”

Catching the scent of the others in the air, he said, “My friends are almost here, Aedan. You’re powerful, but you’re also massively outnumbered.”

“And you can’t hide here with your animal pals forever. Our time is coming, Cian, whether you want it to or not.”

“I’m an animal, too, Aedan.”

The vampire’s crimson eyes burned with madness. “Which is why I’ll win.
Vamp trumps your noble beast, brother. Always.”

Voice thick with frustration, he asked, “Why can’t you leave me be and get on with your own damn life?”

“Because I’m lonely? Because this is fun?” Aedan’s eyes narrowed, a guttural tone to his own deep voice that sounded like tightly coiled rage. “Because you deserve it for betraying me? Do I really need a reason,
brother mine
?”

His
jaw tightened. “You won’t win this.”

“You’re suffering, Cian. You look as if you’re living in the depths of Hell.” A slow smile twisted his thin lips. “That means I’m already winning.”

“It doesn’t mean jack shit.”

In a flash of movement, Aedan was suddenly at his side, his cold mouth pressed close to Cian’s ear. “And just in case you were getting any ideas,” he whispered, “killing
yourself won’t save her. It’ll just mean I don’t have to go through you to get to her. But she’s still
mine
, even if you’re rotting in the ground.”

In the next moment, the Runners and the mercs, along with Jillian, caught up to them and burst into the clearing, and Aedan disappeared in a blur of speed that the others probably hadn’t even caught.

“Where is he?” Brody demanded, his fangs
gleaming beneath the curve of his upper lip. His massive body vibrated with rage, and Cian felt the sharp slice of guilt tear through him. He hated that he was putting his friends through this. Hated that he couldn’t reach Aedan. Hated every part of it. Every miserable piece of this screwed-up situation.

And beneath it all, there was the sickening guilt that this was all
his
fault. For starting
Aedan on this path. For not ending him when he’d first realized what his brother was capable of, after his father had refused to take action. For the niggling fear that he hadn’t tried hard enough to find Aedan these past five years. The fear that there was a part of him that hadn’t
wanted
to find Aedan badly enough, because he hadn’t wanted to see his brother die. A part that had privately been
relieved he couldn’t go home to Sayre, knowing where that path would lead, too frightened of the things the little witch made him feel. Of how much stronger those feelings would be now that she was a young woman, and no longer untouchable.

Christ, had he ever wanted to touch anything as desperately as he wanted to touch Sayre Murphy? Ever needed anyone as badly, or simply craved their happiness?

The answer was as simple as it was obvious.

Not. Even. Close.

Chapter 14

S
hoving away from Jillian, who had thrown her arms around her in relief, Sayre suddenly turned and took off, running as hard and as fast as she could back toward the Alley. Tears ran unchecked down her face, the enormity of the danger Cian had faced making it difficult to stand, much less move at this speed. But she made her way back to the cabin as quickly as possible.
She was too raw to talk things over with anyone, including her sister, and she knew Jillian would try.

There’d been moments in her life when her “sight” had proven incredibly useful—but only for her loved ones. Never for herself. Never when she’d needed it, and God, could she have used it now. Being blindsided by an undeniable truth when she’d watched Cian fighting his brother had left her
reeling. Left the ground shaking beneath her feet in a way that made it difficult to breathe...to think. All she could do was
feel
, seething in a maelstrom of emotion, the tears coming harder, faster, until she was sobbing with them, every part of her body trembling, breaking apart.

In that moment, when she’d thought he might actually die out there in that clearing, she’d realized that she
didn’t need to fear she was falling too hard and too fast for him, because it had already happened. Her heart was already his, irrevocably and completely, and
that
scared her in a way that Aedan Hennessey never could.

Had she known, when she’d agreed to come back to the Alley with Cian, that this was where her need would lead her? To loving him?

Whatever the answer, it no longer mattered.
She was already at the point where it was too far to turn back, because he’d earned it. He’d
earned
her heart—every scared, agitated cell of it—when he’d faced off against that monster to protect her.

Now she just had to decide what she was going to do about it.

“You bastard!” she screamed only seconds later, when he shoved the bedroom door open, breaking the lock with ridiculous ease,
apparently unwilling to let anything come between them—
except himself
. Fired with savage, visceral frustration, she picked up one of the heavy books from an ugly green bookshelf and hurled it at his head with surprising strength. “You son of a bitch!”

He’d ducked to avoid the book, but the breath whooshed out of him when she nailed him in the stomach with a wooden bookend. “I get that you’re
angry,” he grunted, “but I need to know if you’re all right. Are you okay?”

“You’re damned right I’m angry,” she snapped, her hair lifting slightly from her shoulders as the air between them began to crackle.

“You have every right to be. It’s my fault he got near you.”

She shuddered, recalling the sickening fear that had burst inside her the instant she’d set eyes on Aedan. But
she wasn’t going to let him distract her so easily. “I’m not angry about him coming after me. Yeah, it sucked. But that’s not why I’m livid. I’m pissed
because of what you
did
!”

His head jerked back as if her words had clipped him on the chin. “What?”

“Why would you do that? Why would you just...just try to throw your life away like that? You saw what he was like! How did you expect
to fight him and come out alive? I could have watched you die out there!”

He sighed, his shoulders dropping as he took a step toward her.
“Sayre.”

The way he was suddenly looking at her, as if she were the most precious thing in the world, only made her cry harder. His bright, long-lashed eyes were still painfully beautiful, even when she’d seen them tinged with crimson. So unlike his
brother’s. Aedan’s eyes had resonated with pure evil, especially when seen within a face that was so coldly devoid of emotion. She shuddered again as she relived the memory of Cian taunting that monster to fight him, and shouted, “No! Don’t come any closer. I...I’m liable to punch you if you do.”

He looked stricken to see her so upset, his breath leaving his lungs in an audible rush. “I wasn’t
trying to die out there, Sayre. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, but I’m not going to throw myself on a fucking sword. If I thought it would help, then yeah, I’d be tempted. I’d be an asshole if I felt any differently, because
I’m
the one who got you into this mess. But it wouldn’t stop him. It would just leave you alone to deal with him without me, and I can’t let that happen.”

Trembling, she said, “No matter how this ends, it will be bad for you, Cian.”

“And that’s what I
deserve
,” he growled, his chest heaving as he fisted his hands at his sides, his claws and fangs already retracted.

But his chest and arms were still streaked with crimson smears of blood, and she knew,
she goddamn
knew
, how close he could have come to dying out there.

“Why d-did you
do this?” she sobbed, shaking so badly her teeth were chattering. “Why d-did you come back? I’m not yours. You haven’t claimed m-me, and you never will. So why didn’t you just k-keep screwing your way around the world and let him kill me?”

He took a harsh breath, his brow furrowing as he slid his gaze to the side. “I haven’t.”

“You haven’t what?” she snapped, sniping at him like a child
in a fit of temper.

He shoved a hand back through his hair and cursed under his breath. “I haven’t...been...with anyone. Like that.”

“What?”

He pulled in another deep breath, and slowly brought his hooded gaze back to hers. She jolted from the look burning in those molten eyes, feeling like she’d just been shoved hard in the chest, though no one had laid a hand on her. “I haven’t
been with another woman, Sayre. Not since I left you.”

She swallowed so hard that it hurt. “Cian, that...that doesn’t even make any sense.”

“You think I don’t know that? I mean, I know I can’t have you. Not like that. And I don’t want to go through the rest of my life like
this
. But from the moment I walked away from you, I haven’t even
seen
other women. Hell, before I even left, it’d
been...weeks since I’d taken anyone to my bed.”

“You still slept with them,” she said unsteadily, “after...after we realized what we were. What we are...”

“I know.” He exhaled a ragged breath and grimaced like a man in physical pain. “I tried like hell to ignore it, Sayre. To prove I didn’t need you. That I could keep going the way I always have, doing the same things to cope.”

“To cope?”

He shook his head as he looked away. “Never mind.”

“No! No more freaking secrets. Or I walk.”

“Fine. It was how I coped with the bloodlust,” he growled, pacing away from her. His heavy boots were loud against the bedroom’s hardwood floor, his hard-edged muscles rippling with power beneath his bloodstained skin. “The constant fucking—it was either
that
or keep feeding the
monster inside me and stop aging. And I didn’t want that. I wanted to live here, with the others. So I screwed my way through the pack and kept that twisted part of me at bay as best as I could.”

“And after you left?” she whispered, her thoughts reeling so rapidly she had to reach out and brace her hand against the bookshelf.

“I’ve been feeding on supplies of human blood that I purchase
on the black market. It’s why I don’t look as though I’ve aged, because I haven’t. Not since I came back for you.”

“And the blood worked?”

“When I’ve needed it,” he muttered as he lifted one of his powerful arms and rubbed the back of his neck, the position causing his beautiful biceps to bulge. “For the most part, I’ve been...I don’t know. Dead inside. I’ve felt nothing.” He flicked
her a shuttered look from beneath his lashes. “Nothing but the need for you.”

She wanted to ask how he dealt with that need without going crazy, then blushed as she figured she already knew the answer, considering how she’d had to take matters into her own hands over the years. Not that her self-made orgasms were anything to brag about, compared to how Cian could make her feel. As if he’d
read her mind, he arched one of those dark brows as he looked at her, and the corner of his grim mouth actually twitched.

Needing to put the conversation onto a different subject, before she embarrassed herself, she blurted, “I’m sorry for what Jillian did last night. She finally fessed up before I snuck away today. I honestly wasn’t running. I just...I needed some time to myself to think,
and then I...well, I ran into your brother.”

He stopped pacing and took a step closer to her. “Promise me you won’t do that again, Sayre.”

“Yes, of course. I understand now. I...I don’t think I really did before,” she admitted in a nervous rush, wetting her lips. “Aside from those humans you killed at the cabin, I guess the threat didn’t feel as real to me as it should have. But it does
now.”

His brows lowered over his sharp, steely gaze, and he took another step closer to where she stood. “And the thing with Jillian? You’re not angry...about your powers?”

“Cian, that’s
my
problem, not yours. And, anyway, I have enough things to be pissed at you about without throwing
that
on there.”

He grimaced, until he caught the way she was smirking at him. “Smart-ass.”

“In all honesty, I already suspected you were the reason.”

He looked surprised. “You did?”

Nodding, she said, “I started feeling different the morning after you left. And from that point on, each day got a little worse. I’d hoped I was wrong, but I think that deep down, I always knew the truth.”

“Christ, Sayre. I’m so damn sorry,” he groaned, and the next thing she knew, he was right
in front of her. His hands pushed their way into her hair, and then he claimed her lips with his, ravaging her mouth like he was trying to brand her with his need. The carnal, devastating kiss was heated and hungry, demanding everything she had to give, his slick tongue rubbing against hers in a way that was guaranteed to melt her down. But no matter how tempting it was, she couldn’t let him
distract her from what was important.

“Why did you do what you did?” she gasped against his mouth. Her trembling hands curled around his strong wrists as he held the sides of her head in his hands, the masculine sprinkling of dark hair tickling her skin.

With a serrated groan, he broke away from the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. “Because I can’t lose you. Not like that. I can’t
let him hurt you. I’d rather die.”

“If you really feel like that—if you would be willing to
die
for me, Cian—then why are you fighting this? Why not just claim me?”

“Because I’m bad for you, little witch.”

She moved her hands to his broad, muscular shoulders and pushed until he finally relented and pulled his head back to look at her. “Do you really believe that?” she asked him,
staring into those smoldering, tormented eyes.

A gritty, bitter laugh burst past his lips. “Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you the same thing.”

“I’m not interested in what anyone else has to say, Cian. I only care about what I feel and see. And I
see
the good in you. The more time I spend with you, the deeper I see it.”

“You’re seeing what you want,” he muttered.

“No,” she argued, willing him to believe her. “I want
you
. Not some fairy-tale prince. You’re not perfect, and I don’t care. I’m not perfect, either. But together, I think we might be. If you would just give it a chance,” she finished softly, keenly aware that she’d just made herself incredibly vulnerable—but believing he was worth it. Worth fighting for.

“You deserve more than that,” he grunted.
“More than me.”

She blinked up at him, giving him a shaky smile. “More than a life spent with the only man I’m meant to be with? More than the promise of a family with that man?”

His scowl deepened. “Use your head, Sayre. You know exactly what kind of family we would have.”

She flinched, feeling as if he’d just slapped her, and pushed away from him. “If you think I wouldn’t love
and adore my children, no matter their breed, then it just goes to show that you really don’t know me at all, Cian.”

“Sayre,” he sighed, “that’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No,” he muttered, shoving his hand back through his hair again in a telling gesture of frustration. “I just...I don’t want to screw things up for you.”

“And what about you?”

“Lass, my life was screwed
to hell and back a long time ago. And no one is to blame for that but
me
. You said so yourself, when I found you in West Virginia.”

God, he frustrated her! “Cian, I was wrong. When I said it was your fault that I was in trouble, I was angry. And I was
wrong
. It’s not. You’re not responsible for what your brother does.”

“Like hell I’m not.” They were raw, graveled words. “I should have
ended him a long time ago, when I had the chance. But I chose not to—I chose
wrong
—and now his actions are a result of that choice. Of that mistake.”

“You know what, Cian? It’s time for you to shut up.”

“Sayre.”

She glared up at him as she stepped back into his body, then reached up and curved her hands back over those broad, rugged shoulders. “I’m serious. Your words are just pissing
me off, and I’d rather kiss you than listen to you put yourself down.” Then she tugged him down as she rose up on her toes, and kissed him like she was going to die without his taste in her mouth.

He shuddered, then wrapped those strong arms around her, jerking her even closer as he thrust his way past her lips and raked the inside of her mouth with his wicked tongue. She opened her mouth
wider, wanting to take in even more of him, desperate for all of him, body and soul. She didn’t even care that her busted lip was stinging like a bitch, her desire for him burning through her like a wild, rushing flame, her power breaking free in a shimmering burst of those tiny, flickering points of light.

“God, your mouth is so damn sweet,” he groaned against her lips, and she could feel
the emotions burning in those husky words, the hunger and need and craving that went deeper than the physical, and it made her want to shake him until she could get to the truth. But she was too busy trying to open his jeans so she could get to even more of him, while he literally tore her clothes off her body, her underwear shredding beneath his hands as he pushed her back onto the bed. Everything
was moving hard and fast and furious, their harsh breaths filling the air as he shoved her to the middle of the bed and came down over her, that hot, slick tongue curling around one of her sensitive nipples, the sensation so intense it made her toes curl. He gave the same attention to the other breast, sucking on her nipple like it was a juicy piece of fruit, then turned her to her stomach, moved
the fall of her hair to the side and latched that talented mouth on to the owl she had tattooed there.