Blood Wolf Dawning (8 page)

He worked his stubble-covered jaw a few times, then exhaled a sharp breath through his nose before he admitted, “I used money from my trust fund, which I finally started to spend after I quit Bloodrunning. And since I didn’t know how long this thing with Aedan
was going to take, I didn’t see the point in renting anything when I could just buy it.”

Her mouth actually hung open for a moment. “Trust fund? Are you serious?”

He grunted in response, and she had to laugh. No wonder the guy had always seemed a little out of place in their small mountain community. He was probably used to living in a freaking mansion, rather than the rugged beauty
of Bloodrunner Alley.

She didn’t know much about Cian’s family, other than that his mother had been a member of the pack who’d fallen in love while on vacation in Ireland and had never returned. But Cian never talked about her much, and she couldn’t recall him
ever
talking about his father. “Do the others know?”

He slid her a shuttered look that was impossible to read, then shook his
head and returned his attention to the winding road. He’d explained when they set off that it would likely take them hours to reach the Alley, since they’d be avoiding the main roads, taking smaller ones that were less traveled...and less likely to be monitored by his homicidal brother. She let the conversation about money go, thinking instead about the possible reasons for the Hennessey brothers’
apparent feud. Was it over a woman? The family money? Or something even darker than that? Wouldn’t it have to be, if Aedan wanted to hurt his brother badly enough to kill over it? And that was definitely the point of all this. Cian’s behavior made at least that much apparent.

“So,” he murmured, his deep voice startling her when neither of them had said a word for the past half hour. “I was
wondering what your powers are like now.”

Her shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. “Oh, you know. Just typical witch stuff.”

He shot her a look before turning his attention back to the road. “Can you go into a little more detail than that?”

A quiet laugh slipped past her lips. “I can’t read your mind, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

“It wasn’t,” he remarked in a dry tone, “but
thanks for clarifying.”

“I can sometimes do that with animals, though, and communicate with them. But it’s pretty rare, and usually only when they need my help.”

“Like with the snakes?” he asked, shifting the Audi into a lower gear as he took a particularly tight turn in the road.

“What?”

“When Elise first came to stay with Wyatt, he and I came back from being out on security
patrol one evening and found all the women freaking out because some rattlesnakes had wandered into the Alley. But you were as calm as could be when you came outside and spotted them. Instead of screeching, you just lifted your hands in the air, your eyes all glowing and bright, and those fucking snakes listened to whatever you told them, slithering back into the forest.”

“I remember that,”
she said with a small smile. “Chelsea was so pissed at Eric because he couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous her and the others looked, jumping up and down on top of Brody’s truck and screaming their heads off.”

He gave a low laugh. “It was one of the craziest, funniest damn things I’ve ever seen.”

“You calling me crazy?” she asked, playfully smacking him on the arm.

A sensual
smirk curved the firm line of his beautiful mouth. “Only in a good way.”

Sayre rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“So what else can you do?”

Picking at the frayed edge on her shorts, she said, “Well, there’s the healing ability, and the energy, light-shooting-out-of-my-hands part. Other than that, I’ve occasionally had some moments of what I suppose you could call ‘sight’—but it’s
been a long time since anything like that happened.” Looking over at him again, she said, “As the energy thing’s become more powerful, it’s like it’s eclipsed everything else.”

He glanced her way, then focused once more on the road. “So then what’s the story with the gun that you pulled on me yesterday? I’ve seen your powers in action, and that was before they hit full throttle. So why not
use them?”

“They’re not something I use in front of humans if I can avoid it, so I carry the gun.”

“That’s understandable. But you could have used them on me.”

“I could have,” she admitted, momentarily caught up in watching the way he was holding the steering wheel with his left hand, his thumb stroking over the smooth leather in a way that struck her as incredibly erotic. Clearing
her throat a little, she added, “But the gun was more...impersonal.”

He grunted again, which seemed to be his standard response when she said something he didn’t care for. They drifted back into another heavy silence for a few minutes, until her impatience finally got the better of her. Before she could stop herself or talk herself around in circles over whether it was the right move or the
wrong one, Sayre tucked her left leg up under her, turned to face him and said, “So, I’ve been doing some thinking, and I need to talk to you about something.”

The way his body seemed to brace itself, his muscles tightening beneath his skin, told her that he’d picked up on her nervousness. “Go on,” he said in a low voice, sliding her another shuttered glance before looking back at the road.

“I’m, um, still coming to terms with how to handle this, but I don’t...I don’t want the time we’re together to be spent fighting. I want to call a truce. One where we don’t keep arguing about what happened before. All I ask is that you’re honest with me, even if it’s painful.”

“Sayre,” he rasped, so softly she almost couldn’t hear him. His chest lifted with a deep breath, and she could
literally
feel
the heat pouring off his big, powerful body, his jaw hard as he probably tried to work out where she was going with this.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Cian. I don’t even know what I’m willing to give you. But I know that I feel better when I’m with you than I’ve felt in a long time. Maybe, if we work together, then just
maybe
we can somehow find a way to be...friends.”

He swiped his tongue over his lower lip, his face and throat flushed with a heat that she wanted to feel under her mouth and against her tongue. “There’s just one problem with that, lass.” His voice was rougher than she’d ever heard it before, husky and deliciously thick. “I want to do things to you that I wouldn’t want to do to any of my friends, if I had any these days. Things I’ve wanted
to do for
years
, Sayre.”

Trying not to let herself get carried away with excitement over hearing him say he wanted her again, she pointed out the obvious. “You never seemed all that attracted to me before. Just possessive.”

“Because I fought it with everything I had,” he growled, the tendons in his neck straining in a way that made her want to nip them with her teeth.

Knowing this
was make-or-break time, she clutched on to every ounce of courage she could find and went for it. “I don’t want to argue about the past anymore. What’s done is done, and there’s nothing you could ever do to make it right. But I...I want things from you, too.”

His head turned sharply to the side. “What are you talking about?”

Her confession came in a soft, breathless rush of words. “I
want to know what all the fuss is about when it comes to pleasure and the man who was meant to be mine. I want to enjoy my time with you, the time that we’re together, however short it is.”

Slowing the car, he veered onto the grassy shoulder, then slammed the brakes so hard she had to brace her hands against the dashboard. “Say that again, Sayre.”

“I think you heard me just fine,” she
whispered.

The way he was looking at her made it difficult to breathe—her body all ramped up on hunger for the things she’d been missing out on. For a split second, she froze, wondering if she were doing this because it was the logical, mature decision, or if she were simply being steered by her hormones. Then she exhaled a shaky puff of air, watched his eyes darken as she licked her lips
again...and realized that she just didn’t care about the reasons and justifications. She was doing it, to hell with what was stupid or dangerous or unwise for her future. The future was never going to be what she’d once hoped for, so she needed to take her happiness when and where she could find it. And that was here.
Now
. Right that very second...and as many seconds as she could have afterward.

“Let me get this straight,” he said in a low rumble. “Are you saying I can touch you now?”

“I’m not saying you
can’t
. I’m still figuring things out, and it’s not easy when you’re still not answering my questions.”

“Christ, Sayre.” He sounded equal parts frustrated and turned on, which made her want to grin...maybe even laugh, which wasn’t something she’d done much of in a long time.
She knew there weren’t many people who surprised him, and it felt good to be one of them. “Are you...are you
blackmailing
me with your body?”

Instead of outright denying it, she gave him a look of open curiosity. “Could I do that?”

The look he gave her in return was so freaking hot she could have melted right there in the sumptuous leather seat. Quietly, he said, “You’re playing games,
lass, that you’re not prepared to lose.”

“Not really,” she murmured, determined not to let him rattle her. “Because I think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is. All I’m interested in is scratching an itch that should have been dealt with a long time ago. So long as you don’t bite me and make a bond, why not indulge while we can?”

Because of the life-mate connection
they shared, Cian held the ability to create a permanent blood bond between them if he ever sank his teeth into her throat—and that was something she intended to avoid at all costs. She couldn’t think of anything worse than being stuck forever with a man who didn’t want the same things as her. Not that she even wanted a bond with him anymore. She would have to trust him...and love him first,
and those were two things that this particular male would
never
have from her.

He turned his head away from her, staring out the front windshield, his profile so stark he looked like he’d been carved from stone. “It’s not that simple,” he eventually said, sounding as if he’d had to force the gritty words from his throat.

Sayre sighed. “Fine. If you don’t want me, then just say so.”

“Not want you?” he muttered with a harsh, humorless laugh, shaking his head again. “I want the touch and taste of your body so badly it’s all I can do not to just
take
it.”

“Then look at me, Cian.”

He did as she said, the heat and hunger in those smoldering gray eyes making her feel stripped down to her bare flesh, despite the clothes chafing against her warm skin. In that moment,
she could have been wearing freaking Eskimo furs and she still would have felt completely exposed. It was a heady feeling, being the center of such intense focus, and the answering part of her soul gloried in it. Soaked it up like a freaking leaf with sunshine, even though her heart was screaming to be careful...cautious.

“I’m not playing a game,” she told him, working hard to keep her voice
even. “Yes, I want answers to my questions, and I’m hoping you’ll eventually give them to me. But I want more than that, and I don’t want to wait for it.”

His eyes narrowed, the gray glinting like piercing chips of silver. “Then spell it out for me. In
exact
terms, Sayre.”

She took a deep breath, refusing to let herself break eye contact as she put it all out there. “I don’t want either
of our emotions involved. And I don’t even know if I want the full sex act. But I...I want everything that leads up to it.”

“No emotions, huh?” It was clear from his tone that he didn’t like hearing that any more than he’d liked some of the other things she’d said to him since he’d suddenly burst back into her life. “Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing where I’m concerned?”

She couldn’t hold back the sharp burst of laughter that rushed up from her chest, her lips twisting with chagrin. “Oh, I
feel
plenty, Cian. Anger being first and foremost the majority of the time, along with a lot of other nasty things like pain and humiliation. But there’s also hunger, and I’m tired of aching for something I can’t find anywhere else. My powers have been keeping me prisoner for
years, but here I am, sitting beside you, and I’m okay. Maybe...maybe if I work you out of my system, things will be different when you leave again. Maybe
I’ll
be different.”

She could tell he hated that idea, as well, but didn’t have an argument for it. And, really, what could he possibly say? That he planned on sticking around this time? That he wanted her in a forever kind of way, just
like her girlish heart had once hoped he would? Even if he tried to sell her on the idea, they both knew it would be a lie.

Without a single word, he tore that heated stare from her face and looked over his shoulder, checking for other cars before he pulled back out onto the road and floored the gas. Disappointment settled heavily in her gut, but she refused to beg. “Is this your answer then?”

“No,” he growled, squeezing the steering wheel so hard she was surprised it didn’t crack. “You want my hands on you, then they’re going to be on you. But that wasn’t the time or place.”

Sayre was half convinced he was simply trying to buy himself some time to think of a way to let her down gently—until she noticed something that made her ridiculously happy.

The hand he’d just shoved
back through his hair was actually shaking, and she couldn’t help the small smile that crept its way into the corner of her mouth.

Yeah, this was bound to end badly. And yep, she was most definitely playing with fire. Hell, she had the matches lit and was dancing in the middle of a sea of gasoline, splashing through it like a kid in a puddle. But maybe that was okay.

Maybe—just
maybe
—it was about time she stopped playing it safe, and actually got a little burned.