Blood Wolf Dawning (10 page)

What. The. Fuck?

Was it the force of her own desires suddenly pushing him to take the
hot, rich spill of her blood into his mouth and drink her down, marking her as his? The draw of her power? Their connection? Or did the violent craving for complete possession have something to do with
him
? With what he was? With that part of him that he struggled so hard to keep contained?

Cian wished that he knew the answer, but he was at a loss. All he really knew was that touching her
like this, being with her like this, was more incredible than anything he’d ever had before. Even better than he’d imagined it would be, and he’d played out this scenario in his head so many excruciating times it was permanently etched into his memory. Had hungered for it until he’d felt hollowed out inside, bled dry with need.

But if he didn’t stop now, he understood what would happen.

There would be a damn good chance he wouldn’t stop at all.

* * *

Sayre wanted to scream with frustration when Cian suddenly pulled away from her. One second she was lost in the dark, velvety heat of his mouth, his tongue rubbing against hers so wickedly it made her ache for more, and in the next she was staring up at his cold-as-stone expression as he took a step back from her, wondering
what on earth had happened.

“Cian?”

He gave one sharp, curt shake of his head, then jerked his chin toward the car. “Get in,” he said in a voice so low it sounded more predator than man. “We need to go.”

She blinked, feeling like he’d just tossed a glass of ice water in her face. “You’re kidding, right?”

His response punched from his lips with so much force it made her flinch.
“You want to get down and dirty in a goddamn rest area, Sayre?”

“No,” she returned, though her voice wasn’t nearly as strong as she wanted it to be, her system still reeling from the way he’d kissed her. “I made it clear that I don’t plan on having sex with you. But I thought we could...that we could at least do
other
things.”

“We could,” he muttered, shoving one of his big hands back
through the windblown strands of his hair, “but I need to think.”

“Does this mean you’ve changed your mind?” she demanded, wanting to know
now
, so that she didn’t make even more of a fool of herself later on.

The look he gave her said he thought she was crazy for even asking such a ridiculous question. For a moment, a warm, sensual buzz of pleasure swept through her, until her next thought
quickly sobered her up. Of course he wanted her, at least in a sexual way. The laws of nature wouldn’t have connected them if they weren’t primed for intense attraction to one another. But even though he was finally admitting his need, it didn’t mean that he had to like it. Or accept it. Or embrace it.

From the dark expression on his face, he didn’t plan on doing
any
of those things. Not
a single damn one of them.

As if he could read her mind, he growled, “You don’t need to doubt my desire for you, Sayre. I’m harder than I’ve ever been right now, and it’s because of you.”

She couldn’t help but look down, the sight of his thick erection trapped behind that denim fly making her heart leap into her throat. She gave a hard swallow, embarrassingly aware of the heat burning
in her face. Damn it, she wanted to be sophisticated about this, but that just so wasn’t her. All she could do was stand there and gape, wanting to know what the weight of him would feel like in her palm. If he would be smooth or ridged with veins, and how hot his flesh would be to the touch. If she could make him shout with pleasure, and how he would taste and feel on her tongue.

But as
she watched him make his way back around the front of the Audi, his tension like a physical force blasting against her in the late-afternoon sunshine, she knew her curiosity wasn’t going to be appeased today. Heck, maybe not ever, if he didn’t manage to let go a little and relax.

She opened her door and climbed inside, her thoughts snagging on something that she couldn’t quite put her finger
on. She could understand Cian being worried about taking things too far, seeing as how the life-mate connection they shared naturally drew them together, even though there was only so far they were willing to go, neither of them wanting to be permanently stuck with the other. And if they had sex, that connection would no doubt compel him to bite her and mark her in a way that would be damn difficult
to resist.

But she couldn’t help thinking that there was more to it than that. That something darker than the magnetic, fate-driven “pull” between them was behind his reticence. And her gut told her it had something to do with the man who was trying to hurt her to get to him. She had so many questions about Aedan Hennessey that she didn’t even know where to start. And she didn’t even bother,
knowing Cian wouldn’t answer them.

After pulling her door shut, she latched her seat belt and then turned to look at him, surprised to find him just sitting there, watching her, his troubled gaze dark and endlessly deep, filled with so much confusion...as well as frustration. “Does it bother you at all to be around me?” he asked her.

“You mean with my power or just in general?”

His nostrils flared as he pulled in a deep breath, and he muttered, “Your power.”

“So far? No,” she said, giving him an honest answer.

He nodded, then looked away from her and started the engine. As they pulled back out onto the winding mountain road, he seemed to get lost in his thoughts, but the silence didn’t bother her. Her emotions were too raw at the moment to make casual conversation.

Pulling the backpack she’d left on the floorboard into her lap, Sayre took out the iPod Jillian had given her for Christmas and her headphones, then scrolled through her playlists until she found the one titled
Free
. She’d paid for every track on the list, the meaning of the name going deeper than her measly bank account. It was an eclectic mix of songs that embodied what she wanted most out
of life: freedom from her past and the things that held her back.

But as she listened to the first song, she realized that it wasn’t quite fitting for her current set of circumstances, and she wondered if maybe she should put a new list together and call it
Strength
.

After everything that she’d been through, the last thing that Sayre considered herself was weak. But she was also realistic
enough to know that there were times when even the strongest of people needed a little more.

And if she were going to make it through this thing with Cian without any permanent damage to her heart, she had a feeling she was one of them.

Chapter 7

A
s he steered the powerful sports car into the Alley, Cian couldn’t help but recall the night Eli Drake had returned to the mountains he’d grown up in after an absence of three years. Was this how the mercenary had felt that night? Like he was walking into a dream? One that was both calming and familiar, and yet, oddly terrifying?

Had he felt as out of place as Cian
did in that moment, like a stranger in his own home?

Shaking off the uncomfortable thoughts, he put the car into Park, turned off the engine and twisted toward Sayre. She was worrying her lush lower lip with her teeth, her gaze shadowed with something that seemed remarkably close to fear. It made his insides tighten, as if he physically rejected the idea of her feeling that sour emotion when
it was his job to protect her.

He might fail disastrously when it came to upholding most of his duties as her mate, but ensuring she felt safe was one that he had every intention of carrying out.

For the moment
, his wolf muttered.
Some hero you are.

Ignoring the sarcastic jibe—leave it to him to have an inner wolf that constantly sported an attitude—he studied her as she slipped
off the headphones she’d been wearing for the past hour and dropped them back into her pack. “You feeling okay?”

She pulled in a slow breath. “So far, so good.”

“If it gets to be too much, let me know. We can have as much privacy as you want.”

“Privacy didn’t help before.”

Knowing exactly what he was doing, he shot her a heated look, and let a slow smile lift the corner of
his mouth. “If you need me to, I think I can find a way to get your mind focused on something besides your powers.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “
Now
you decide to flirt with me? God, you have some seriously craptastic timing.”

He didn’t know how she managed to make him laugh in the middle of some of the tensest situations in his life, but she did. “Craptastic? Is that even a real word?”

Shrugging a slender shoulder, she sighed. “I don’t know. I just...” Confusion clouded her gaze. “You mess with my head, Cian.”

Since that didn’t necessarily sound like a good thing, he let it go as he opened his door and climbed out into the warm, slightly humid evening. Pulling in a deep breath of the forest-scented air, he almost felt light-headed from the way it hit his system. Not
as potent as Sayre, but still meaningful, like he was pulling in a deep breath of home. There was no other place in the world that smelled like this to him, and it made his heart hurt to think that he was going to lose it again when all was said and done.

Only because you’re too stubborn and pigheaded
, his beast grumbled.

Mentally flipping off the wolf, he closed his door, shooting Sayre
a look over the top of the car as she did the same. Worry for her punched him low in the gut, and even though he knew this was the safest place she could be once Aedan made his appearance, he also knew that he wouldn’t force her to stay if it became too much for her. With a nod of encouragement, he turned and faced the small group that was making their way toward them. Jeremy must have decided
to come back to be there for Jillian, because he was walking right beside her, while Mic and Brody followed just behind them.

The mercs who worked with Eli Drake were there, as well, and he found a frown tugging at his mouth. He could have done without them, seeing as how Sayre had been pretty close to a few of them before he’d left, but he knew they were permanent residents in the Alley
now. Single ones, from the looks of it, since the four of them—Lev Slivkoff, Kyle Maddox, Sam Harmon and James Bennett—were still without wedding rings. But that was hardly surprising. They were even bigger womanizers than he’d once been, though that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Keeping a wary eye on the group, Cian moved to stand at the back of the car, his muscles tightening with awareness
as Sayre came to stand beside him. The wind was tossing her wild mane of curls against his arm, the silky caresses striking him as oddly sensual, considering it was simply the touch of her hair. But it seemed that his mind equated everything to do with the little witch with sex, from that devastatingly sensual scent that he wanted to draw into his mouth and bite down on, to the way she chewed on
her bottom lip when she was deep in thought. If he didn’t know how much she resented being linked to him, he would have thought she’d put some kind of spell on him. One that made him crave the scent and touch and taste of her.

I’ll
never
forget that hot little mouth of hers
, his wolf snarled, baring its fangs at him.
Could gladly kill you for pushing her away today.

Yeah, he had to agree
with the jackass on that one. But he hadn’t had any other choice. If he hadn’t pulled away from her, he’d have ended up screwing her beautiful little brains out in the middle of a rest area while he marked the shit out of her throat, and then everything would have gone to hell so fast it left his head spinning. And the results would be just as bad for her, seeing as how she would have been stuck
with him. No matter how badly he wanted her in his bed, he wasn’t so much of a bastard that he would ruin her life that way just for the sake of his dick.

Not that the idea wasn’t tempting, because,
hell
, it was Sayre, and he wanted her in ways he still didn’t even fully understand. Ways he refused to look at too closely, convinced he wouldn’t like what he found.

Jillian was the first
to reach them as she hurried away from Jeremy’s side and grabbed her little sister up in a crushing embrace. “Ohmygod, I’ve missed you so much,” she said in a broken rush, while Sayre hugged her back.

“Me, too,” she whispered, and he could hear the tears she was holding back in those quiet words. Sayre raised up on her tiptoes and hugged her sister even tighter, and while it no doubt made
him a perv, he couldn’t help but notice the way her shorts had hiked up with the action, revealing even more of her smooth, sleek thighs.

And he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.

Turning his head back toward the group, he caught the way the mercs, as well as Max and Elliot, were checking her out, and had to choke back the sudden urge to snap at them with his jaws. But while he hated
it, he couldn’t fault them for their primitive interest, given that they were hot-blooded males and she was the embodiment of lush, guileless femininity. A sensual feast to each and every single one of a man’s senses, and he couldn’t help but wonder which of them had knowledge of that firsthand. Given his reputation, it made him a complete and total bastard, but he wanted to know which ones had stroked
and tasted her and made her come. Which ones had touched what was
his
, and enjoyed her in the ways he’d never been able to allow himself to do before.

Damn it, he’d barely managed to get through kissing her today without seriously screwing it up, and he knew he needed to get a white-knuckled grip on himself before the next time. And there would
definitely
be a next time. No way in hell could
he keep his hands off her now.

“It’s good to have you back, scamp,” Jeremy drawled, pulling Sayre into a hug when Jillian had finally released her, the healer’s eyes damp with tears as she smiled at them.

While Sayre spoke with Jeremy, Cian stepped back to give them some space, and the others obviously took that as their cue to move in closer.

“That’s an awfully nice ride you’ve
got there,” Lev murmured, grinning like a jackass. “One might think you were trying to impress someone with it.”

Kyle laughed. “I doubt a guy with Hennessey’s reputation needs a fancy car to impress a girl.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” the blond merc drawled, with a certain edge to his voice that spelled trouble. “He was the tomcat of the wolves, wasn’t he?”

Max muttered for them both
to shut up, shooting Cian a cautious glance. The kid was worried he’d lose his cool with the mercs, but he wasn’t going to get into an argument over his reputation in front of Sayre. He didn’t need to have that tossed in her face, and he knew exactly why the cocky mercenary had started in on him. Slivkoff had been close to Sayre before Cian had left, and from the way he kept stealing looks at her,
he was interested in getting even closer. And that didn’t sit well with him. Especially given how the guy’s golden good looks and unusual blue-green eyes, not to mention his shit ton of muscles, never failed to make him popular with the ladies. Hell, he could have given Cian’s rep a run for its money, and he was just about to pull the merc aside and explain why it would be in Lev’s best interest
to stay away from Sayre, when Jeremy slapped him on the shoulder, a little harder than a friendly clap, and told him they were all heading over to Brody and Mic’s place for some dinner.

Given that it would mean spending an hour or two with a group of guys who were clearly lusting after his woman, along with two of his former friends who were pissed at him for the way he’d walked out on them,
dinner was the last thing that Cian wanted to suffer through. But Sayre was already walking away with her sister, and there wasn’t a chance he was letting her go without him. So he sucked it up, gave Jeremy a tight smile and followed after her, figuring this was going to be about as much fun as having a tooth pulled.

But it actually didn’t turn out that bad. The steak and baked potatoes were
better than anything he’d had in a long while, aside from Sayre’s stir-fry, and even though things were strained with Brody and Jeremy, they didn’t spend the entire time telling him to go screw himself. He ended up taking a seat off in a corner of the room, and let himself simply enjoy watching Sayre interact with her family and friends in a way he knew she hadn’t been able to do in years. He
watched her carefully, looking for any signs of pain or distress, but she seemed to be doing fine so far. She maybe looked a little overwhelmed by all the noise and conversation, seeing as how she’d been on her own for so long. But he was relieved she was holding up all right, even if it did make him a little uneasy.

It wasn’t that he wanted her to suffer. That was the last damn thing that
he wanted. But he couldn’t get rid of the unsettling feeling that something wasn’t quite right. That there had to be an explanation for why she was handling things so well, and the knot in his gut hinted that it might not be one that he liked.

As the others finished off the meal with coffee and cake, she stood by the empty fireplace, talking with Max, Lev and Sam. He still needed to warn
the males to watch themselves where she was concerned, but figured it would have to wait. They’d had a hell of a day, and he’d noticed Sayre trying to hide a few yawns, which meant it was time to call it a night and get his woman out of there.

He shook his head at himself for still thinking of her as
his
, seeing as how he’d never done anything but push her away. But the wolf in him couldn’t
think of her as anything but something that belonged to him.

And the man in him just wanted...
Hell
, he didn’t know what he thought or felt or wanted anymore, other than to keep her safe, no matter the cost.

He crossed the room, caught her eye and motioned for her to join him. She said something to the guys, then came over to him, her expression difficult to read, which didn’t make him
feel any better. Was she angry? Tired? Irritated that he’d taken her away from her friends? He didn’t know, and that just made him feel even edgier, as if he were already losing control of the situation.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I think it’s time to call it a night. You’ve had a long day and should get some rest.”

“You’re probably right,” she agreed with a soft, easy smile that
should have warned him she was up to something. “I’ll go with Jilly and see you in the morning.”

She’d already started to turn away from him, but he stopped her by taking hold of her arm. “What the hell, Sayre? I thought you understood that you’re staying with me.”

She blinked up at him, that pink, sin-inspiring mouth suddenly pressed flat with irritation. “Not if you’re staying in your
cabin, I’m not.”

His brows knitted with frustration. “What do you have against my cabin?”

Michaela’s dry voice cut into their quiet argument, making it clear that she’d been eavesdropping from her nearby spot on the sofa, while Brody sprawled at her side with his arm draped over her shoulders. “Use your head, Cian. I doubt Sayre wants to bunk down in the place where you did most of your
entertaining
. That’s asking a bit much, isn’t it?”

He stiffened, the urge to argue and defend himself instantly building. But what could he say? The beautiful Cajun had spoken nothing more than the truth, and he made a silent vow to thank her for making him look like a prick. He knew Mic cared about him as a friend, and was grateful for the way she’d helped him find Sayre. But she also loved
her husband beyond anything, and was no doubt angry as hell with him for cutting off Brody like he had.

Giving Mic his back, he focused completely on Sayre. “If not my cabin, then where are we meant to stay?”

Jeremy came over and clapped him on the shoulder again, not quite as hard as the last time, but still enough to jar his teeth. “Mic’s just razzing you. I mean, yeah, we all agree
with what she said. But your cabin isn’t exactly how you left it.”

Cian scowled, not liking where this was headed. “What the hell does
that
mean?”

Though Jeremy tried to play it cool, Cian could tell something was up. The sparkle in the guy’s hazel eyes was making him worry, and he gritted his teeth as Jeremy told him, “When we didn’t hear from you for an entire year, we tossed your
things into storage up in town and redid the place. We’ve used it as a guesthouse for the past four years.”

Irritation shot through him like the searing slice of a blade. “You turned my cabin into a damn bed-and-breakfast?”

Ignoring him, Jeremy looked at Sayre. “I swear the place has been stripped and repainted. Even the furniture is new.”