Blood Wolf Dawning (13 page)

“Wait a minute. You have a goddamn
brother
,” Brody cut in, looking ready to bolt to his feet. Cian figured the only thing holding his former partner back was the touch of his wife’s hand on his arm.

“Brody, calm down,” she murmured.

“No, that’s not gonna happen. Because it’s one thing not to tell us about the
vamp blood,” the Runner growled, his scarred face ruddy with anger as he glared up at him. “I don’t like it, but I get it. But why the hell did you need to keep your family a secret? What the fuck is that about, Cian? I didn’t think we kept shit like that from each other.”

“We didn’t,” he said, hating the hurt he could see that was fueling Brody’s anger. “But Aedan is a twisted son of a bitch
and there wasn’t any way to tell you about him without telling you about the other.”

“How about ‘Hey Brody, I have a brother. He’s a jackass, so I don’t like to talk about him. But I just thought you should know’?”

“Christ, Brody. He’s not a jackass.” He couldn’t stop his voice from rising, each word torn out of him like a bleeding chunk of flesh. “Aedan’s an evil piece of shit, and
I spent ten years of my life acting just like him!
That’s
why I didn’t want you to know!”

The Runner’s face paled so quickly it was like he’d been gutted.

Dropping his head forward in defeat, Cian screwed his eyes shut, hating that look of shock that had just spread across his friend’s face. Voice weary and thick with disgust, he forced himself to explain as much as he could stomach
to reveal. “He’s a hundred times more powerful than a rogue wolf. Their drive and their frenzy—that’s Aedan on a mellow day. I heard he once took out an entire Lycan family of eight on his own, within a mere matter of minutes. He’s
that
strong. That screwed up in the head, and I spent an entire decade with him when he was a boy. At the age of sixteen, I traveled the world at Aedan’s side, doing
more shit than I could ever possibly name that I’m not proud of. But Aedan always took things even further. I tried to get him to...hell, I don’t know. To tone it down, I guess, and I made excuses for him for a long time, like he was someone I needed to look out for and stand by because he was my brother.” Lifting his head, he forced himself to look Brody right in the eye before he went on. “Then,
one day, I ran dry. He’d done something that I couldn’t make any more excuses for, and I got out. But not before I’d made a lifelong enemy of him.”

Jeremy’s deep voice cut into the heavy moment of silence that followed. “And now he wants to hurt Sayre because of you? Because she’s yours, and he holds a grudge against you for something that happened all those years ago?”

Before he could
respond, Brody shot to his feet and paced away to the far side of the room, then turned around to face him with a dark, vicious scowl. “That’s why you left,” the Runner snarled, his thick chest rising and falling with the harsh force of his breaths. “Goddamn it, Cian! When you realized what she was to you, you took off to protect her. You didn’t even ask for our help. You just left!”

Hardening
his jaw, he managed a curt nod, feeling sick to his stomach. In that moment, standing there in the face of his best friend’s pain, he hated himself...and he hated his old man more than ever for not ending Aedan when he’d had the chance.

Though their father’s vampire strain was one of cunning and strength, the “dark” blood from Aedan’s mother was as evil as it came. Their father had always
claimed that she’d used that ancient power to enthrall him, leading him to her bed against his will. But Cian knew better. Colin Hennessey was nothing more than a self-serving son of a bitch who thought of nothing but himself, and he always would be.

When his father should have destroyed Aedan, once they’d realized just how far he was slipping away from them, he’d refused. Because of power.
The fool had seen Aedan as a weapon that could be used to defend his position in Ireland, not understanding until too late that
no one
controlled Aedan, including the man himself. Aedan had been lost to the darkness inside him from the moment his vampire instincts had gained the upper hand, and there was nothing anyone could do that would ever bring him back.

“Jesus,” Kyle rumbled, locking
his fingers behind his head as he leaned back in his chair, while Brody completely turned his back on the room, his hands braced on his hips. “I knew you had some serious shit going on under the surface that none of us knew about, Hennessey. But I never guessed it would be this messed up.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything at all.

“I wish you’d talked to us,”
Jeremy said with a tired sigh, his blond hair falling into his eyes as he shot a worried look over at Brody. “That you... Shit, man, I just wish that you had trusted us.”

He swallowed so hard that it hurt, knowing there wasn’t anything he could say at this point that would make things better. This wasn’t one of those times when
sorry
was going to cut it. Not unless he wanted to sound like
an even bigger dick than he already did.

It was Jillian who finally cut to the heart of the matter. “How does this affect Sayre? Does she even know?”

He braced himself, knowing exactly where this was headed. “She doesn’t know specifics about the threat, but she knows that Aedan is my brother.”

“And the vampire part?”

Locking his jaw, he shook his head.

Perched on the edge
of her seat, she gave him a look that would have brought a lesser man to his knees, the love she held for her sister making her fierce. “You have to tell her, Cian.”

“I know.” He swallowed, then wet his lips, each thudding beat of his heart making him feel like he was sinking deeper into a pit of quicksand. “I just...I don’t want her to be afraid of me.”
Or disgusted by who I was...

Damn it, he didn’t want to lose what little part of her he had!

“I can understand that,” Jillian offered with a husky note of sympathy. “But it doesn’t mean you get a pass, Cian. The only choice you have is to
trust
her.”

Scrubbing his hands down his face, he muttered, “It’s not that simple, Jilly.”

“It’s
exactly
that simple. You’re going to have to man up and tell her everything.
All of it.” Her dark eyes burned with conviction. “Even those parts that are the...hardest.”

In other words, the secrets he was holding closest to his chest. The ones that would cause him to lose her, and not for a handful of months, or years.

But forever.

Chapter 9

C
ian spent another hour with the group, questioning them about how things had been since he’d left. Not long after his strained exchange with Jillian, Brody had cursed something guttural under his breath and stormed out of the room, his office door slamming shut behind him a moment later. Mic excused herself and followed after Brody with a worried expression on her face,
but the others were willing to let Cian turn the tables and ask some questions of his own.

Even Slivkoff managed to offer some helpful information without sounding like a jackass, and Jillian spoke up a time or two, though it was apparent her thoughts were a million miles away, undoubtedly with her sister. But, together, the group filled him in on the problems they’d had to deal with during
his absence, as well as the challenges they’d taken on. It was clear that the Silvercrest were now thriving, and that the pack had the Bloodrunners to thank for their success. Relations between the Alley and the pack’s mountaintop town of Shadow Peak had never been better, and he was glad that his friends were enjoying the recognition they deserved.

The only part that sucked was that he hadn’t
been there with them. That he’d missed each of the milestones that had marked the passage of time in their lives. Hell, the simple fact that all the Runners, with the exception of Max and Elliot, had kids now would be something that took time for him to wrap his head around. Before Mason had found Torrance nearly six years ago, Cian had never imagined the group would all be settled down and
doing their best to add to the pack’s growing population.

Before they ended the meeting, they talked over the Alley’s security issues, and Jeremy assured him that extra patrols were already in progress. If Aedan wanted to get to Sayre, it wouldn’t be easy for the vampire, and that was what Cian needed. A way to slow down the bastard so that he could deal with him one-on-one, while the others
got Sayre the hell away from him.

When Kyle asked if he wanted a tour of the security procedures they had in place, Cian took him up on it, and he said a somewhat awkward goodbye to the others before heading out. There wasn’t any sign of Sayre as he walked across the sunlit glade, and it worried him, how desperately he wanted even the tiniest glimpse of her—so he told himself it was good
that he was getting away for a bit and putting some space between them. He and Kyle left the Alley in the merc’s Jeep, and headed for Shadow Peak, to the security headquarters that the Runners ran there. They grabbed lunch while up in town, his presence at the diner drawing more than a few curious stares, and he knew that news of his return would have spread like wildfire before the end of the day.
Not that he cared. The few remaining relatives he’d had in the town had moved away years ago, and there was no one else he would have wanted to catch up with, aside from some of the Runners’ parents. But he figured he could pay them visits after this shit with Aedan was over, before he took off again.

After lunch, he and Kyle headed back down the mountain, leaving the Jeep at one of the new
security outposts that had been built out in the forest. From there, they spent hours walking most of the security routes on foot, then grabbed the Jeep and made their way back.

By the time he and Kyle, who had been surprisingly easy to get along with, were parting ways, the evening sun was already setting behind the trees, and Cian was bordering on desperate to see Sayre again. He wasn’t
so naive that he thought she wouldn’t have heard about the meeting that had taken place that morning, and didn’t doubt that she’d demand to know what he and the others had talked about. And when he refused to tell her, she would definitely be pissed at him. But it didn’t matter. He still wanted—and maybe even
needed
—to be close to her. To see her. Breathe her in. Soak her into his memory so that
he’d have a full reservoir to pull from when this nightmare was over and he was no longer a part of her life.

Jesus
. He had to stop on the way up his front porch steps and brace his right hand against the railing, as that last thought slammed into him like a high-powered kick to his sternum. Whatever his frame of mind had been when he’d come after her, he was man enough to admit that things
were...
changing
on him. His need for her was taking on a new face and shape, until it was something he no longer even recognized. Something that seemed to be shifting on him with each second that ticked by, becoming stronger...sharper, like a reflection in the fogged surface of a mirror as it slowly cleared.

Which meant he’d just have to claw on to every bit of control he could find. And
when he reached the bottom of the well, dig even deeper.

When he didn’t find her in the cabin, his teeth snapping together so hard at the sight of all that damn green that it made his jaw ache, he went back outside and ran into James. From the looks of it, the sweaty, bare-chested merc had spent the better part of the day cutting the plush green grass that covered the entire expanse of the
glade, the crisp scent of the freshly cut blades thick in the air.

“You didn’t happen to see Sayre out here, did you?” he asked, while James chugged back a bottle of water.

The tall, dark-haired merc wiped the back of his wrist over his mouth, then said, “She’s playing poker with her boys.”

He froze, hoping like hell that he’d heard him wrong. “Her
what
?”

James’s brown eyes
crinkled at the corners, the smirk on his face making it clear he thought Cian’s jealous reaction was funny. “Her guys. You know, Max and Elliot and Lev. They always used to play together over at Lev’s place, before she moved. Me, Sam and Kyle would sometimes join them, but it was always the four of them together.”

Something hot and uncomfortable crept its way up his spine, then curled around
the backs of his ears and settled sourly on his tongue. He’d never experienced the vile touch of jealousy before Sayre, but he’d felt it nearly every day since. Even in the years they were apart, it was a constant emotion weighing heavily in his gut, forever reminding him that she was somewhere out there in the world, enjoying her life...with someone who wasn’t him.

Only, she hadn’t been.
Instead, she’d been living in her own personal prison, isolated and alone, and that was on him. Not because he’d made it happen, but because he hadn’t been there for her, in whatever way that she’d needed him.

Feeling like an even bigger jackass than he did before, he headed over to Lev’s cabin.

Without even bothering to knock, he gripped the heavy metal handle that was still warm from
the sun and opened the front door, the music and laughter he could hear coming from inside telling him that everyone was still there. After letting himself in, he saw that they were all gathered around a card table in the middle of the merc’s living room, and he knew, before she even opened her mouth, that Sayre had been drinking. The alcohol had slipped into her scent, giving it a ticklish edge
that would have been intriguing, if she weren’t sitting there getting wasted with a table full of guys who looked as if they’d like nothing more than to put her in their laps and let her wriggle that sweet little ass of hers all over them.

The instant she looked up and saw him standing just inside the archway from the hall, a wide smile spread across her pink face and she flung her arms up
in the air, throwing cards everywhere as she shouted, “I knew you’d find me!” Then she reached over and grabbed Max’s beer, lifting it high and damn near spilling it all over the place.

Christ, she wasn’t just a little tipsy. She was
hammered
.

“’N case you were wondering what I’m doing with this bottle, I’m toasting fate for being such a bitch,” she said with a tiny hiccup, while Max
tried to rescue his beer and Lev and Elliot just looked on with stupid grins on their faces.

Making his way around the table, Cian crouched down beside her, drawing her face toward him with the touch of his fingers on her chin. Sensing that there was something bothering her—and hoping like hell that she hadn’t found out what was discussed at the meeting—he asked, “What’s going on, Sayre?
You were fine when I left this morning.”

A bitter laugh slipped past those pink, velvety lips. “That’s because you ran out while I was
asleep
. And then...then your
harem
started showing up!”

His harem? What was she talking about?

In a moment of clarity, she must have read the confusion on his face, because she leaned in closer so that she could explain, her breath smelling like
peach schnapps. “There’s been a steady stream of ’em all day. Blondes, brunettes, redheads. Slim, curvy, short, tall. Pale, dark, and everything in between. And every single one of them was beautiful.” Her voice got soft, and she made the saddest little damn sound that he’d ever heard, whispering, “So freaking beautiful. And they’ve missed you.”

He bit back a guttural curse, understanding
now how Eli had felt when his past bed partners had tried to visit him in the Alley, after he’d returned. Carla hadn’t reacted well, and neither was Sayre. Not that he blamed her, seeing as how that green-eyed monster was one he was only too familiar with these days.

“I didn’t ask them to come here,” he told her. “And I’ve no desire to see them, Sayre.”

She rolled her eyes, or at least
tried to, ending up a little cross-eyed instead. “Sure you don’t. That’s
exshmactly
...I mean
expactly
...damn it, I mean
ezfactly
what I expected you to say!”

“God, you’re cute when you’re wasted,” he rumbled, easily catching her in his arms as she lost her balance on the chair and slumped to the side, crashing right into him. Moving to his feet, he held her soft weight cuddled against his
chest as he turned toward the table and the three guys who were watching them, their expressions almost tender as they glanced at Sayre, who had gone as limp as an overcooked noodle in his arms. It was clear that they’d been looking out for her, even while enjoying her drunken revelry.

“I’m taking her back to my place,” he told them, hoping they were smart enough not to give him any grief
about it.

Max and Elliot smirked, while Slivkoff gave a low laugh. “’Bout time, don’t you think, Irish?”

Cian narrowed his eyes at the jackass. “You got something you’d like to say to me,
Russian
?”

“Oh, I have lots of things that I’ll say eventually. When it’s just the two of us.” The merc cracked his knuckles. “That way I can make sure that you’re listening. Real careful-like.”

Cian flipped him off with the hand near Sayre’s knees, then turned and headed back outside, unable to get enough of the way she felt in his arms, even when she was too drunk to lift her head. He could feel her lips moving against his chest, and was trying to make out the words as he carried her across the grassy glade. Then her voice got a little louder, and he thought he caught something
about letting a wolf out of a closet.

“Hey, are you singing that Shakira song?” he asked, nuzzling the top of her head with his nose, her hair so silky that the animal in him wanted to feel it stroking over every inch of his body, the wolf more tactile than a human could ever be.

“What’s wrong with that?” Her voice was a little sleepy, but not quite as slurred as before, the fresh air
no doubt helping to clear her head a bit. “Shakira is
hawt
!” she added, and he could sense her smile. “If I were a dude, I would so tap that.”

He gave a loud snort. “If you were a dude, seeing you drunk off your ass in those little shorts you’re wearing wouldn’t be nearly so much fun.”

She pulled her head back, her pretty mouth hanging open in a way that was putting some seriously dirty
thoughts in his head. Not that he didn’t always have those around her. “Ohmygod,” she gasped, blinking up at him. “Did you just crack a joke? I didn’t think you even knew how to do that anymore.”

His lips twitched, but he managed to choke back the laugh burning in his throat, not wanting to encourage her.

She snuggled back against his chest and shimmied in his arms until she could bury
her nose in the crook of his shoulder, almost as if she were trying to breathe in more of his scent, and a sizzling spike of lust shot straight to his dick. “This is so weird,” she said around a yawn, making him wonder if she’d sensed that he was getting hard.

“What’s weird, lass?”

She danced her fingertips across his chest, her voice so soft it was nearly lost in the evening breeze.
“Being here, in the Alley. In your arms. I mean, a girl spends years thinking she’ll
never
—as in the freaking moon will turn into cheese and pigs will fly before it happens—never, ever,
ever
be in a certain place, and then
boom
, there she is.”

“Huh. That was quite an emphatic never about ever being in my arms.”

“Well, I might not be human, but I get a clue as quickly as the next girl.
You leaving like you did didn’t beed...um, bade...I mean
bode
well for ever seeing that gorgeous face of yours again.”

He couldn’t stop himself from pressing his nose back into her hair, the sweetness of having her close somehow making him feel better than he had in...hell, in
years
. With a cocky smile in his need-roughened voice, he asked, “You calling me gorgeous, baby?”

This time,
she was the one who snorted. “Like you don’t already know. You’ve seen a mirror, Hennessey.”

His response was heartfelt and low. “Yeah, well, I don’t have anything on you.”

“Oh, get real. I’d rather you just be quiet than lie to me. I’m so, so, sooo sick of all the lies.”

She was finding her words better now, but her voice still had that singsong quality to it that was a sure sign
of someone who’d tossed back a bit too much. And from what he knew about Sayre when she was younger, she wasn’t a drinker. Which meant it probably hadn’t taken much to get her to this point.

Cian got her into the cabin and onto the bed with relative ease, surprised to find she was still awake when he came back from the kitchen with a cold bottle of water for her.