Bloods Gem (6 page)

I held my breath and
pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me back.

As we continued to kiss, I
felt my body beginning to levitate. We were both inches off the
ground as I held her in my arms. She was too occupied to notice. I
refocused my attention on the feeling that her lips were sending to
every part of my body.

A few minutes in our embrace I
released her because I felt warm liquid oozing down my hand. Slowly
opening my eyes, I was hoping for tears rather than blood. She
looked frightened and I was reluctant to look at the
da
mage.

She started yelling, “You
broke my hand!”

Looking down, I realized my world was
crumbling under me. I was so involved in our kiss that
when I reached behind my head to take her hand in
mine I broke it unintentionally. I did not know what to say or how
to explain.

I stared at her limp hand
in disbelief .

She dashed to her car,
leaving me withdrawn from the situation.

After a few minutes of
standing there unsure of what to do, I pulled my phone from my
pocket and dialed her number.
She wouldn’t
answer.

Persistent in my efforts to get her to
answer, I had many failed attempts. I left a message to convey how
sorry I was.
“Listen, I know I messed up.
I’m not denying, I was absorbed in the moment. I swear Faith I
didn’t realize the pressure I put on your hand. I’m so sorry.
Please call me.”

I was hoping the excuse was good enough for
her to call me back. I didn’t have time to sit there and stare at
my phone all day. People were waiting for me at the castle. For my
going-away party. And it wouldn't be long before my father would
send people looking for me. I had to get home fast.

My car was an inconvenience. It would
be quicker if I ran or winged home, but I wasn't willing to risk my
corvette getting towed. I sprang into the car, turned the key and
pressed my foot on the accelerator. Dodging in and out of traffic,
I used a few tricks getting eighty percent of my fellow drivers to
yield or pull over in my quest to get home. I snickered at my new
police illusion and made a
mental note of
it for future reference.

Before I pulled to the
security gate leading to my home, I had an image of Faith at the
hospital. I made a U- turn and headed in that direction. As I
reached the hospital, I remembered she drove a red mustang.
Scanning the parking lot, I picked hers out from the crowd. I
immediately parked and ran to the emergency door.

She sat just inside the
emergency room lobby, her hand attached to an ice pack. I sat next
to her, took her healthy hand in mine and placed it to my lips and
kissed it. “Faith…”

Before I could say
anything more she interrupted. “I g
ot your message, I
was going to call you when I was done here,” she said.

“
Will you please forgive me, Love?” I
asked hopeful.

“
You have some explaining to do
first.” She glanced at me suspiciously.

“
Faith I know it’s a strange
situation. I don’t know what to tell you, but that I was absorbed
in the moment.”

She looked into my eyes and nodded. I knew
she was hesitant in believing me.

“
The least I can do is pay for the
hospital bill. Since this was all my fault.” She agreed.

The nurse called her in and I waited for
her. It seemed as if days went by. Lost in thought, I was grateful
she forgave me. Even more grateful she let me kiss her earlier. She
must like me at least a little to let me kiss her the way I did. I
wanted to take her home right then. Take her there and say look
this is my girl she’s the one for me.

I fought with myself. One part of me
wanted to keep her, the other part knew how wrong this was, me
wanting to be with someone as fragile as her.
Too breakable around me, and too tempting, a lot of self
control was involved.

After a few minutes, I
sensed Faith was in pain. I ran inside the room she sat in and
placed my hand on her head, using my ability to help her with the
pain.

As we walked outside, I
could see she was cold. Shivering, I placed my jacket around her
shoulders. I inhaled the scent of her as the wind blew over. I
covered my mouth and nose with my hand. My mouth started watering.
I closed my eyes and clinched my fist. Angry over my lack of
control, I thought about shoving a knife in my hand. A distraction
from her scent.

She turned to me, tears in
her eyes, “I can’t do this. I need to go.”

I looked into her eyes
trying to understand her tears and her constant emotional
rejection. I knew she felt something for me, even in this short
time. However, I could tell she was trying to push me away.
It was frustrating not knowing how she truly felt.

“
Why keep running?”
I called out.
She jerked her head up
as if I’d startled her.

Bowing her head. “I have someone at home
waiting for me.”

I felt myself tense. My hands once again
balled into fists. I should just let her go. Let myself go. If I
was logical, I would do just that. There’s no way to keep her safe
in my hands, unless I change her.

I thought for a minute. “Can I ask you
something before you go?” She nodded.

“
You feel something for me, yes?” She
hesitated but nodded. “Then why go?”

She paused, as if trying to think of a good
reason. I stopped her before she could. “Listen, let me put you up
in a hotel for a few nights. At least let your hand heal. If after
a few nights you still wish to leave, I’ll drive you myself. Just
give me a chance.”

She took a deep breath, scratching her head,
“Um…okay.” She replied.

I was stunned. Hopeful, but didn’t think it
would be that easy.

Faith

I’d never really felt like I had a place in
society, or even as if I belonged. I could not relate to people
eagerly moving from one day to the next. It was difficult to even
get out of bed for school. I'm not a chipper person, especially in
the mornings.

Even in school I felt like an
outcast--a loner. It was hard to make friends. I did not want to
pretend I was something I wasn’t just to try t
o fit in.
In the past, I tried to make friends
but it always ended badly. Either I wasn’t cool enough or I would
be talked about behind my back. Once someone betrayed me, I was
done. I wasn’t forgiving and didn’t want to be around people who
treated me with disrespect.

I was not the type to try drugs or alcohol
to fit in either. I didn’t like to party or be around groups of
people. It made me feel awkward. I am who I am like it or not. I
wont change for anyone. I didn’t mind being alone much. It’s
actually kind of peaceful.

I often kept my distance from boys, with
good reason. When I did date and if I felt the guy was trying to
control me or push me into something, I would disappear.

My mind was always going, it
was
hard to keep my head in check, with
all the racing thoughts. I often have an active imagination, but
can also reason. I'm the type who would think of things before they
would happen and predict the outcome, or what I would do in a
situation I was faced with. So if something did happen I would be
prepared. Sometimes I just wish I could live in the moment, instead
of always living in the future. It was a burden the way my mind
worked.

I’m not a typical eighteen
year old girl. I know my weaknesses, my strengths, I'm intelligent
and I don't get into any trouble. My style of clothing is goth but
chic, moderately reflecting my personality.

I knew my mind wasn’t weak
and I would not let anything control me. The thought of someone
trying to conform me made me angry.

If I ever decided to get a
boyfriend, I would have my own mind, so if he was to treat me bad
or try to control me in anyway I would disappear. It was so easy
for me to shut my feelings off, to push people away. I guess it was
a natural defense. it was a way to protect myself from getting
hurt, or letting someone make me feel weak.

When I'm lost in thought, I usually don’t
hear what’s around me. But it’s often written all over my face when
I’m thinking too hard. Some people think I’m upset or annoyed just
by reading my facial expressions. Which isn’t the truth in most
cases. People read me wrong. I wouldn’t want to see my face while
I’m in the zone. I think my mother wishes she could read my mind
sometimes. She often watches me while I’m zoned out, wondering
what’s going on in my head.

“
Faith, did you decide?”

I forgot what her and I were even talking
about, I guess I was thinking about the question but it lead me
somewhere else. I was guessing she knew from my lack of eye contact
I wasn’t paying attention.

She snapped her finger in front of my
face.

“
What!?” I snapped back.

“
Did you decide what school?” She
shouted back.

So that’s what we were talking about.

“
I told you I’m undecided.”

She sighed and stood up, towering over
me.

“
You don’t have much time
before I leave. You need to decide what you’re
going to do quick.” My mom was movin
g away for a new
job as a graphic designer in Arkansas.

I knew what she wanted me to say. Where she
wanted me to go, but she wouldn’t ask that of me. Plus in some way
she wished I’d go to a huge university and do something grand with
my life. And there wasn’t anything grand about where she was moving
to.

I have thought about it a lot. The
opportunities I have available to me are overwhelming and
impressive. I was not particularly excited about going to a huge
university. I would be happy with taking time for myself and
becoming a waif for awhile. That sounded nice. Maybe backpack
through Europe, or learn how to paint and have my own gallery
there. Live there on my own.

I knew I wanted to be away. Far away and on
my own to explore. It was kind of scary though, being on my own.
I’ve always relied on my mother who sheltered me from
everything.

Maybe that’s why I was such a recluse. Being
sheltered my entire life. I did wonder what life would be like to
have friends to do things with and have fun. Fun wasn’t in my
vocabulary.

I really didn’t know how to have fun or be
happy. I was just here, living in my own world in my head. It felt
safer.

I thought about my mom’s words for awhile
longer. Then she threw something at me. Another letter. Examining
the envelope, I saw it was from Arkansas. I knew it was another
acceptance letter. Would it be so bad to feel safe awhile longer?
Maybe just enroll, so mom would feel secure too.

Plus it’s something different. Cowboys and a
lot of hay. Bull riding. It might be amusing to see the
difference.

California was full of
diverse people and plenty of things to do. The idea that I had of
Arkansas was that it was slower paced. Not necessarily a bad
thing.

How would they see me? An
outsider invading their state? Would they leave me alone to
let
me marinate in my own thoughts? Could I go
undetected? I was smiling.

“
Honey, don’t get any crazy ideas,”
Mom blurted out.

I laughed. “I know exactly what I want to do
mom.”

She hesitated staring at me like I was
insane.

“
I’m going with you mom.”

Her eyes wide, I could see a smile building.
“Really?” She asked.

“
Yeah. I want to be near you. You know
I can’t go out in this big world on my own… yet.”

“
But I thought you were
undecided?”

“
I've decided now,”
I smirked.

She hugged me. I patted
her on the back. “Okay, don’t make me change my mind,” I
mumbled.

I wasn’t opposed to the
thought of being considered foreign to the people of Arkansas. “Do
they even have internet?” I asked under my breath.

Mom stood nearby trying to
read my expression. I knew she was going to make a smart ass remark
knowing her looks.

We could read each others
facial expressions giving us a heads up on what verbal torment we
should brace ourselves for. “If you’re going to be negative or
miserable the entire time you should consider other options,” Mom
said. She was making me sound like a
nuisanc
e.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m going!” I got up and
went to my room to start packing.

I had a whole month to prepare myself
after I gave my mom my word about going with her. I sucked in a
deep breath and started loading my stuff into our pick up truck. We
would drive this
clunker
to
Arkansas. Our new home. We didn’t have much money. Just enough to
get us there, fed and gas for the truck.

The drive was long and boring. We
didn’t have a radio in the truck. I brought my hand held disk
player to keep me entertained. Listening to Three Days Grace,
muffled voices and static continually interfered. I threw my
headphones off and mumble
d, “Stupid
thing.” unde
r my breath.

“
Nothing getting in honey?” Mom
asked.