Blooming (6 page)

Todd stopped
the words about to come from his mouth, he must remember not to poke too much
fun at her - she was so damn tetchy.

“Ok I better
not waste anymore of my time slot,” he sighed heavily, and she felt his weight
drop down and come to rest against the door. “You were telling me the other
night that you got pulled out of school after you were bullied.”

“Yes, well
pretty much after that I lost contact with everybody I knew that was my age and
I just studied by myself. I spent a lot of time on my own because mom was
working long hours.”

“Didn’t you
have any hobbies or anything that got you outside?”

“Not really,
I’d always been shy even before everything that happened. I did horse riding
and ballet when I was a lot younger but never stuck to it; I love reading and
movies that’s about it. I know it’s hard to understand but I spent a lot of
time not very well after I came out of school. I had to see a psychiatrist and
I was on medication for a long time, I had panic attacks that would come on out
of the blue. I spent a lot of time just coping and getting by.”

Todd had a
sudden flash of enlightenment, “Jen did you date much when you were a
teenager?”

“No.”                                                      

Todd processed
this for a second, “did you date at all?”

There was a
long silence and Todd thought he’d gone too far, and then she started speaking
again.

“When all
this happened to me I lost out on that time in your life when you figure out
what you want to be, who you are, but I guess the worst thing was I didn’t get
the chance to go through the whole first love, dating, relationship drama you should
have as a kid growing up. I didn’t develop the confidence teenagers take for
granted, I don’t think it’s possible for me even now as an adult to think about
having a relationship.”

“So does that
mean you’ve never dated?” Todd wanted to get a firm answer from her, again
there was a pause.

“If I tell
you this now you have to know it’s something I find very embarrassing.”

“I know you
don’t trust me yet, but you can, I can keep a secret Jen.”

She gave an
exasperated sigh on the other side of the door, “I’m 27 and I’ve been on a sum
total of two dates, both failed miserably because I panicked because I was
afraid. Other than that I almost allowed myself to be kissed once, by a friend
of my neighbours who I wasn’t in the least bit interested in, just because I
forced myself to try.”

Todd whistled
long and low, “When you warned me this wasn’t going to be easy, you weren’t
kidding were you?”

“No and now
you know why I try not to intrude on people’s lives. I don’t want to try and
have relationships anymore; I can’t give people what they need.”

“I think you
can, you’ve just convinced yourself it’s too hard to try.”

“Todd, the
older I got the harder everything became, it seems like you’re pretty much
supposed to sleep with someone on the first date and not bat an eyelid now. I
couldn’t make myself try with that kind of pressure. I’d be the butt of the
joke when somebody figured me out.”

Todd was no dummy
and he pressed for the last bit of clarification – “Jennifer are you still a
v..”

“Yes Todd, A+
on the perceptivity test, there’s no flies on you – Jen’s a virgin, are you
happy now, you got all the information you want?” Jen’s voice vibrated with anger
and embarrassment.

There was
another long pause, then Todd spoke quietly, “I’m still not going anywhere, and
I still don’t want you to go anywhere either. Maybe you just need someone who
is willing to let you go slow and gain some confidence, and this is me
volunteering in case you’re wondering?”

“Look can we
just change the subject,” Jen pleaded. “I saw Lily yesterday and she wanted me
to go with her on that date you said she couldn’t go on. Did she talk to you
about it?”

“Yes, she
said you told her to change it to a coffee date and that you’d wait around to
make sure it was ok.”

“So is it
ok?”

“I guess, but
I’m still not happy about it. I don’t like being responsible for her, while
she’s with me I’d rather lock her up in a chastity belt and ban her from dating
entirely.”

“I’m afraid
she’s too full of it to let you do that.”

“I know,
she’s a pain in the ass isn’t she?” he laughed, pleased Jen agreed with him on
something.

“Look Jen my
hour’s up soon, but I want you to do something for me without questioning it.”

“I can’t
promise that.”

He growled in
frustration, “What are you wearing?” She looked down at herself.

“My jim jams
and a bathrobe.”

“Are they
sexy ones?”

“No,” she
shrieked, “I don’t own any sexy ones.”

“That’s good,
for now anyway and the purposes of this experiment. Do you have a footstool or
something you can stand on?”

She wracked
her brain picturing where she kept one, “Er yes?”

“Good, come
on out here and bring it with you.”

Jen made a
noise as if she was going to refuse him, and Todd barked, “Just do it will you,
you’re driving me nuts.”

A minute went
by and then the door cracked inward, Jen stood there in fleecy pink checked
pyjamas and a robe just as she’d told him.

Todd drank
her in, she looked tiny and super cute, her hair was piled on her head again
and her face was scrubbed and shiny as if she was all washed and ready for bed.
He just wanted to sweep her up and cuddle her.

She held a
small footstool out to him with a shaky hand and he set it down next to her
bare feet.

“See we have
something in common we both like to walk around barefoot.”

She looked
down at her bare feet and wished there was polish on her lacquer free toenails,
“I guess so.”

“Remember no
questions allowed just do as I say, you think entirely too much.”

She opened
her mouth to speak and he silenced her with a finger to her lips and spoke
again.

“Just nod for
me,” she gulped and gave him the briefest nod, it was taking all her will power
to stand upright because she suspected what this was building up to.

“Stand on the
stool,” he ordered and took her hand to steady her.

Jen stepped
up, balancing on the stool a little precariously, it added a good few inches to
her height bringing her forehead in line with Todd’s jaw.

Todd looked
her right in the eyes as he closed the gap between them. She was struggling
with herself to obey him and he wasn’t quite sure he was playing this right but
he wanted to try.

“I’m not
going to do anything to hurt you, or anything more than you want to do, but I
think it’s a crying shame for a pretty girl to go her whole life without
kissing somebody she’s attracted to.”

Her eyes
dropped so he couldn’t read her anymore, but he could swear he heard her heart
pounding fit to burst.

“First though
just put your arms round my neck and pull me in close then I’m going to put my
arms round you and we’re going to snuggle for a while.”

Seconds
passed and her body wasn’t going to give, so Todd took the initiative and
circled her waist with his solid arms, then his hands gently stroked up the
middle of her back to comfort her, he held off from pulling too close, he
wanted to see what she’d do.

Jen was
concentrating on breathing deeply in through her nose and out through her
mouth, just as she’d been taught to do by countless therapists, trying to bring
her racing heart to heel.

Todd was
holding her steady and as she breathed she took in the scent of him, he smelled
like sea spray and lime and all sorts of good healthy things. His fingers
softly traced patterns through her robe.

“Your turn,”
he said softly.

Todd didn’t
know whose heart was beating faster, he was holding his breath now to see if
she would meet the challenge he’d given her.

Slowly but
surely Jen lifted her arms from by her side and moved them up his arms, her
hands tracing the path to his shoulders, over his t shirt sleeves until he felt
them clasp behind his neck. Then before he had to prompt her again she drew him
closer and rested her head in the crook of his neck, her chin settling on his
shoulder.

Todd stepped
in and closed the gap between their middles.

They stood
there for how many minutes he didn’t know, eventually he realised he was
rocking her slightly back and forth, and her hand was stroking the hair at the
nape of his neck. He doubted she even knew she was doing it.

“This isn’t
so bad is it?” he whispered to her.

“No, its ok,”
she answered.

“Hmm only ok,
I must be losing my touch, you can give me a little more than that surely?”

Jen’s breath
feathered his ear as she paused to choose her words carefully, “It’s nice, I
mean, you’re so big, there’s so much of you, I thought I’d feel scared and I do
– feel scared I mean, but I also feel sort of safe. It’s disconcerting being
near you, I’m afraid to like it too much, afraid of where that leads.”

He felt her lips
ghost accidentally against his neck as she spoke, he wanted to stay like this
longer, but he also wanted to push her a shade further before he said
goodnight. He waited while he felt her heartbeat drop and steady and then said,
“Look at me Jen.”

She didn’t
question him but drew back and looked at him. She was still having trouble
meeting his eyes, but she did it anyway he noticed with a little triumph then
he took one arm from her waist and stroked her cheek softly.

“I’m going to
kiss you now, you don’t have to kiss me back, just accept it. Can you do that?”

Her eyes
flashed once, her emotions unfathomable.

He left a
thumb tracing the corners of her lips encouraging them to part slightly, his
fingers followed the line of her jaw and throat, then he leaned in and said,
“Close your eyes kiddo,” and she obliged him without resistance.

Dipping his
head, he kissed her full bottom lip softly, then her top, then repeated the
kisses more firmly. Then he tilted her chin up to close her mouth and kissed
her full on the lips staying in place for several beats of her heart.

He stepped
back, keeping his hand on her waist until she opened her eyes. Her hands rested
on his shoulders, and her cheeks were pleasantly flushed.

The devil in
him couldn’t keep quiet any longer, and he gave her a wink, “we’ll save tongues
for next time.”

She gasped
and spluttered and the spell was broken, she leapt off the footstool and had
her door open in a flash.

“I’m going
before you say anything and don’t be brooding on this all night because I know
another secret about you Jennifer - you’re not as scared as you’d like to
believe.”

He laughed as
the door slammed and he heard her stomp away.

****

Jen was on
fire, everywhere.

After she
slammed the door, she didn’t know what to do with herself, she felt like crawling
under her bed and pounding her fists on the floor, her senses were shot to
pieces. She was terrified, electrified, there was no way she was going to bed
early now.

She touched
her lips, she could feel his 5 o’clock shadow against her cheek and her chin,
she could still feel the patterns he’d stroked on her back, she felt like she
was going mad. She burst into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror,
she tore her robe off, her skin was flushed from chest to forehead and she felt
like she needed a cold shower.

“Aargh,” she
screamed at the top of her lungs, venting like a madwoman.

Upstairs
Sebastian dropped a copper saucepan on his foot in shock and started hopping
around cursing the air blue, and Sean rushed in to see what was going on.

Downstairs
Lily looked up as Todd came in the door.

“This dating
thing’s going well for you two isn’t it?”

“You heard
her?”

“I think the
whole block heard her, what are you up to?”

Todd looked
confused, “I really don’t know, no matter what she tells me, and all the hurt
she’s had in her life, I get the feeling that if I give her too much sympathy
she’s going to find it easy to give me the brush off. The only time she opens
up to me is when I bug the shit out of her, and god help me I really enjoy
doing that.”

“She’s been
opening up to you?”

“Yes,” he
walked over and stood next to his outgoing and beautiful sister and stroked the
back of her head. “I can’t tell you anything other than to say it made me
grateful for our family, and how lucky we’ve been. I hope in time she’ll open
up to you on her own Lil, but in the meantime give her a break will you, don’t
force things on her, give me a chance to get to know her first.”

Lily looked
up and was taken with the impassioned look on her brother’s face, “Ok, but be
careful not to treat her like a pet project, women don’t like that either.”

Todd laughed
and kissed his sister on her upturned nose, and was distracted by the sound of
muffled thumps on his ceiling and strings of curse words.

“If she has
any teddy bears on her bed upstairs, I suspect she’s about to strangle them and
rip their dead bodies to pieces,” Lily joked but only half kidding.

“She swears a
lot too - for somebody that claims she’s a wallflower I mean?”

Todd grinned in
agreement.

 Jen may try
to deny it all she wanted, may have chosen to ignore it all her life, but every
instinct Todd had about her said she had the potential to be a very passionate
person, and he was every bit as strung up about it as she was.

****

The phone
ringing off the hook woke Jen the next morning, she turned over stiffly to look
at the clock and saw it was only 7, who could be ringing at that time? Her
clients knew she only took business calls between nine thirty and four.