Blown Away (11 page)

I groaned my agreement. He took off my sandals and tossed them to the floor. I felt his weight on the bed as he lay down beside me.

“Crazy woman,” he muttered. “This is definitely not what I had in mind for us tonight.”

I gave in to the pull of sleep, hoping he'd still be beside me in the morning.

I cut my morning run short. Knowing Drew was asleep in my bed made it impossible to think about anything else.

The camper was still and quiet when I went in. I pulled aside the curtain to the small bedroom and saw Drew still curled up on her side asleep.

Part of me wanted to leave her sleeping and ride with Murph if we went out today. But I had to find out if something was wrong. She'd gotten so wasted last night that I was worried about her now.

I went to a kitchen cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Tylenol, opening it and dumping two into my hand. Then I took a bottle of water from the fridge and walked into the bedroom.

“Drew,” I said softly, sitting down on the side of the bed. She stirred and groaned.

Her blond hair was pooled on the white pillowcase. I reached out and brushed a hand over it, finding it as soft as I'd expected. I'd slept with several dozen women over the years, but I'd never felt the intimacy that was tugging at my chest in this moment.

“Mmm…Aiden.” Her eyes slid open and she squinted as she focused on me. My cock responded to the sound of her saying my name in a sleepy tone and I shifted to adjust myself.

“Morning,” I said.

“My head,” she croaked.

I reached for her hand and dropped the pills into it. “Take those,” I said, opening the bottle of water for her.

She sat up and cringed. “I feel like…death.”

“Six drinks'll have that effect.”

“Did I drink that much?”

I nodded.

She took the pills with a swallow of water and then reached for her temple. “Oh, God. I did. And then I puked in the woods. And you carried me.” She looked around, realizing where she was. Her eyes widened in horror.

“Don't fucking ask me if we slept together, Drew,” I cautioned. “You know me better than that.”

Her expression relaxed. “Sorry.”

“You want to hang out here today instead of chasing? I can go out with the others.”

“No,” she said, sighing. “I need to get up and going. This'll teach me not to drink like that again.”

I smiled, my gaze roaming over her messy hair and the black circles of makeup under her eyes. On her, the fresh-out-of-bed look was sexy.

“What's going on with you?” I asked, leaning a hand on the mattress so I could get a little closer to her. “It's not like you to drink that much. Was it because of what happened with us yesterday?”

Drew gave a hum of amusement. “You mean when we jumped into a ditch to avoid death? Or when you kissed me so well I almost orgasmed? Or when I flipped my shit because you were changing a tire?”

“Orgasmed?”

Fuck storm chasing. I wanted to climb on top of her and take yesterday's kiss all the way.

She looked down at the bed. “I guess it was just everything. I rarely feel overwhelmed, but I did yesterday.”

I nodded, my stomach sinking. It was all over her face—she regretted the kiss. The role reversal would've been fucking ironic if it wasn't so likely to ruin me.

I'd crossed a line I couldn't uncross. Drew was more than under my skin now. I'd tasted her lips and felt her body against mine and now I wanted it
all
. It was more than just want; it was a deep, primal craving for her.

“I should take a shower,” she said, sliding off the side of the bed. The side across from where I was sitting.

She'd gone from begging me to touch her to avoiding me like the plague. My muscles tensed and my gut churned.

I grabbed my soap, shampoo, and towel and followed Drew out of the camper.

Tex was sitting in his lawn chair by the motorhome drinking coffee. He arched his brows and gave me a shit-eating grin. A comment about me and Drew was only a second away.

“You say a fucking word and it's on,” I growled, giving him a murderous glare.

His smile faded.

I turned the hot water on and stood beneath its scalding spray. What a fucking mess. I didn't have a chance in hell of talking this out with Drew. My communication skills were severely lacking. Grunting and silence were unlikely to make her feel any better.

The image of her in my bed this morning swam before my eyes. I'd gotten a night of her light honeysuckle scent and warm, firm body next to mine. She hadn't chosen to sleep next to me and now I felt like I'd invaded her somehow just by discovering the smell of her hair and the way she hugged a pillow to her chest as she slept.

But those parts of her were woven into my deep longing for her now. I grabbed my treacherous cock, which was rock hard despite my raging emotions, and pumped it hard and fast, fantasizing about reaching under the covers and touching her. Hearing her moan my name and part her legs for me.

I wanted her so fucking bad. My whole body shuddered as I came, breathing hard into the swirl of steam in the shower.

It was the only relief I'd be getting.

I considered switching with Tex or Millie so I wouldn't have to be around Aiden, but then I'd be stuck in a car of talking people. I needed silence right now. Not just because of my merciless headache, but because my emotions were on the verge of spilling over at any second. I needed time to work through things in my head.

With Aiden, I'd have silence, even if it was awkward.

And it was. I couldn't even look at him, but I felt the tension. Poor guy was probably so confused right now, and it was all my fault.

I'd been so stupid, letting my raging hormones take charge. Our kiss had shown me how deep I was already in with Aiden, and I had to stop while I still could. I wasn't strong enough to do this again.

After my dad's death, I'd grieved by throwing myself into supporting Daniel and Ashley. Work and school had kept me busy for
years.
Those years had taught me a lot about myself. Not only was I capable of standing on my own two feet, I could hold others up, too. Every bleary-eyed morning had been about finding my inner strength.

Then Colby had come along with his heart-stopping smile, promising he'd love me forever. I'd shifted some of the weight I held onto his shoulders, letting him help with money sometimes and telling him about my hopes and dreams for us. I'd been half of a team for the first time in my life.

And then he was gone. It was just like my dad—here one moment and gone forever the next. I'd spent the past year drawing on my well of inner strength. Work, clean, cook, sleep. Do it all again the next day.

I was a survivor. Always had been. The problem was when I let my stupid heart want more than that. Fairy tales were for women who had more to work with than me.

This storm-chasing trip had upset my routine. When I got back to Lipton and the salon, everything would fall back into place.

“Drew,” Aiden said. “Look at me.”

We'd been on the road for more than an hour and I hadn't been expecting him to break the silence. A lump formed in my throat and I shook my head.

“Look at me
now
.”

His deep command made arousal swirl deep in my belly. I turned and locked eyes with him. He broke away after a couple seconds to look in the rearview mirror and pull over to the side of the road.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

His brow was furrowed and the corners of his mouth were drawn down slightly. The concern I saw in his eyes sent a wave of guilt through me.

Whatever Aiden felt for me, I didn't deserve it.

“Yeah, I'm okay,” I said, clearing my throat.

“You don't look okay.”

“Just hungover.”

He narrowed his eyes a fraction. “Bullshit.”

I turned back to the windshield, aggravation replacing my arousal. I'd always been the kind of person who kept my feelings to myself. Not acknowledging things made them so much easier to deal with. I didn't like being called on my white lie.

“Maybe you're just a lousy kisser and I'm disappointed,” I said coldly.

Aiden laughed. “Or maybe you're a lousy liar and you'd have let me fuck you up against the door of my truck yesterday if I'd wanted to.”

I turned to him. “You didn't want to?”

His eyes glimmered with satisfaction. I glared and turned back to the windshield.

“Just drive,” I said. “I don't feel like talking.”

“Don't feel like talking, or don't feel like talking
to me
? I saw you talking to Millie last night.”

I sighed and forced myself to stay silent. After a few seconds he put the truck in drive and pulled back onto the road.

“Don't say I didn't try,” he said, an edge of disgust in his tone.

“Wasn't going to.”

“You frustrate the hell out of me,” he muttered.

I pressed my lips together.

Stop doing this, Drew. It's only bringing on more emotion.

Aiden was finding out that his crush on the abstract me was better than the real thing. It made me feel even worse.

He turned up a baseball game on the radio, solidifying the silence between us. The game was the only sound in the truck during a long day of chasing after storms that never amounted to anything but light rain.

It was after dark when we pulled back into the campground. I got out and stretched my stiff muscles.

Murph came out of the motorhome and went right to Aiden.

“I was about to call you, man. I heard a call on the radio five minutes ago about a building collapse in a town near here. It's a volunteer fire department and I don't know if they've got technical-rescue resources.”

Aiden nodded and went into his camper, returning less than a minute later with a big green canvas duffel bag.

“Get me a location,” he said to Murph as he loaded the bag into the backseat of his truck.

“Will do.” Murph went back into the motorhome.

“Wait, what?” I said, my heart thudding nervously. “You're going there? Is that a good idea?”

He arched his brows and closed the truck door, approaching me. “Yeah. Technical rescue is what I teach. It's what I do. If they do the wrong thing, whoever's trapped
and
the rescuers could die. I need to get there and help.”

Our eyes locked for a long second of silence.

“Be careful,” I said.

“Always. I'm good at what I do, so don't worry about me, okay?”

I nodded and he turned to go.

I'd ignored Aiden all day, and now I was fighting my urge to run to the truck and throw my arms around him.

My stomach clenched into a knot like the one I'd felt seeing him in the road changing that tire. I closed my eyes, trying to banish the worry rising from deep within me.

But I couldn't. My eyes flew open and I watched Aiden's truck driving down the gravel campground road, kicking up a cloud of white dust. I followed it until it was just a speck on the horizon. Then I settled into a lawn chair for the long wait ahead.

Six hours later, I checked the clock on my cellphone for what had to be the hundredth time. It was almost two
A.M
. I sighed and clutched the phone tightly.

The campground was dark and silent, other than the rhythmic songs of insects in the nearby woods.

I'd finally stopped crying. Streams of tears had dried on my cheeks. In the hours I'd been sitting here alone, I'd done some thinking, which had turned into feeling.

What I felt for Aiden was unexpected and overpowering. My worry about him digging through a collapsed building made it impossible to fight the truth.

I'd cried for my dad's death, and the shitty hand I'd been dealt afterward. I'd cried for Colby, and the unfairness of the accident that killed him. And once those feelings were out, I'd been able to cry for Aiden and for me.

We were both broken in our own ways, but the way he looked at me was like nothing I'd ever known. He made me feel warm and full and protected. I was afraid of losing that.

Strength was about being fearless. At least, I'd always thought so. But denying my feelings for Aiden didn't feel strong. It felt more like a cop-out.

He was a quiet, strong, beautiful man who was alone in this world. My feelings for him ran deep, and he needed to know that. The risk of hurt later was worth it. If something happened to him and he didn't know how I felt, that would be the worst tragedy of all.

I heard the rumble of tires on gravel and I stood, saying a silent prayer. A couple seconds later a vehicle came into view, but I couldn't make out any details in the dark.

After taking a few steps into the grass clearing of our campsite, I hugged my arms around myself and waited. Soon I could see it was a truck.

Please, please, please. There probably wasn't another freak accident, but still. Please.

When the driver slowed and pulled into Aiden's usual parking spot, I let out the breath I'd been holding. He got out and walked over to me.

“Drew? What the hell are you doing out here?”

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't get past the tightness in my throat. The campground's outdoor lights cast a faint glow over our campsite, and I was able to make out streaks of dirt on his face. I'd never been happier to see a sweaty mess of a man in my life.

When I opened my arms and threw myself against him, a sob escaped my throat.

“You're okay,” I said against his chest. “You're okay.”

He closed his arms around me. “Of course I am. Have you been waiting out here this whole time?”

I nodded silently, basking in his warmth.

“Drew,” he said in a scolding tone. “You should be asleep.”

I leaned back and looked up at his face. “I couldn't sleep when I was worried about you.”

“Don't worry about me.” He rubbed his hands up and down my upper arms.

“It's too late for that,” I whispered. “I care about you so much, Aiden. So much more than I wanted to admit to myself after that kiss. I'm…
afraid
of what I feel for you.”

His eyes darkened and he slid his hands down to my waist, holding on tight. “I know, Drew. My feelings for you scare the shit out of me, too. I've been a tied-up mess of guilt and longing for you since day one.”

“I don't deserve you.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “No, I don't deserve you.”

“I need to be with you tonight. Not just inside the camper, I mean…
with
you.” I remembered where he'd been all evening and added, “Unless you're too tired. You must be exhausted.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I'm good. But…are you sure? You've been kinda back and forth, and I don't want us to do something you'll regret.”

I put a palm on his chest and met his moonlit gaze. “What I regret is trying to pretend I don't feel anything. I want this, Aiden. Now. Tonight.”

He leaned closer and spoke softly. “I want it, too. But…I'm not sure I'm able to give more than this…even for you.”

Concern and desire mingled in his hazel eyes. I reached for his face and cupped his stubbled cheeks.

“I'm not asking for more. Just right now. Give me everything you can right now.”

The concern faded and all I saw in his eyes was desire. He took my hand and led the way to the camper, opening the door and standing aside so I could walk in first.

When he flipped on a light switch, I found out he was more of a mess than I'd realized. His jeans and boots were caked with mud and his T-shirt had smears of mud across it.

“How'd it go?” I asked.

He went to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water, downing half of it. “Good. Two people inside. We got them both out. One has a completely mashed leg, but he'll make it.”

I felt a swirl of warmth inside. “I'm really…awed that you did that. And very proud.”

“It wasn't just me.”

I sat down on his small couch. “What I really mean is I'm proud you went. That you care enough to risk yourself to help people.”

Embarrassment flickered across his face. My heart broke as I realized he didn't hear words like I'd just spoken very often. His family had been gone for more than a decade and he didn't have relationships with women.

“I need to go grab a shower,” he said. “It'll be the fastest shower ever, I promise.”

“I don't care if you take a shower. I like you as you are right now, Aiden.”

He smiled. “I have to. Less than five minutes, I promise.”

After he grabbed his soap and shampoo and left, I went to the window and peeked through the blinds. He was sprinting across the campground toward the bathrooms. I smiled and went to the bathroom to rinse my face.

My reflection in the mirror wasn't pretty. My eyes were swollen and red from crying. The eye makeup had been cried off hours ago, so at least I didn't have it smeared all over my eyes like I had this morning.

Still, I couldn't help my goofy grin. This was happening. Aiden knew what I looked like right now, and he wanted me anyway.

The knot of worry was gone. Now all I felt was nervous excitement about his return.

True to his word, he was back in less than five minutes, breathing hard when he walked in the camper. I was leaning against the island, and when I looked over, his eyes locked on mine and he moved toward me, tossing his soap and shampoo on the floor.

He cupped my cheeks and leaned down to kiss me. It was deep and warm, seeking and finding all at once.

Our hands were everywhere. Pulling off clothes. Caressing skin. Holding on for dear life.

Aiden slid his hands under my ass and picked me up, carrying me back to the bedroom. He set me on the bed, his eyes roaming my body in the dim light that filtered into the small room. I was down to my bra and panties, and my chest rose and fell as he took me in.

I'd unbuttoned his jeans, and he slid them off. He took his boxer briefs with the pants, and I inhaled sharply as I took in his rigid length.

He put a knee between my legs and climbed on top of me, wedging my legs farther apart. I moaned from the heat of his knee against me.

“Aiden,” I said softly.

He leaned down and brushed a kiss over my lips.

“You're the answer to every question I've ever had, Drew,” he said, his warm breath dancing over my skin. “The only one I've dreamed of for so long.”

“I hope the real thing lives up to the dream.” I slid my hands around his back and over the hard lines of muscle there.

“You could never disappoint me,” he said, kissing me again.

He reached around and unclasped my bra, slipping it off and lowering his mouth to my nipple. I let my head fall back and I panted helplessly, lost in sensation. The physical and emotional pleasure collided so powerfully it brought tears to my eyes.

I wrapped my legs around him and arched my hips against his, trying to relieve the throbbing ache between my thighs.

“I want you inside me,” I said, a whimper escaping my lips. “Aiden, I want you so much.”